Worst TF Movie Review?

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by thebruteslayer, Aug 1, 2011.

  1. thebruteslayer

    thebruteslayer Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Posts:
    3,497
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +5
    I'm still wondering how this is relevant to anything I said.
     
  2. Wrecker217

    Wrecker217 There's a 50 character limit to titles. Now you kn

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Posts:
    14,780
    News Credits:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    307
    Likes:
    +9,040
    Its nice to get a good laugh reading them before going to sleep. Dumb trolls disguised as critics, woo!
     
  3. Koolimus Prime

    Koolimus Prime Weapons Expert

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2010
    Posts:
    1,356
    Trophy Points:
    182
    Likes:
    +4
    I think the reviewer was drunk while watching the movie. :drunk 
     
  4. Snark

    Snark Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2011
    Posts:
    1,583
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    157
    Likes:
    +53
    This thread is a joke. What the hell is the point of it? So a dude on the internet doesn't like a movie? Big fucking deal! If it's just an "amateur blog" as you so put it, why does it even matter enough for you to make a thread bitching about it?

    Good grief people, it's stuff like this that makes us look like a bunch of manchildren.
     
  5. thebruteslayer

    thebruteslayer Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Posts:
    3,497
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +5
    ^It's like people don't even read the OP! You just the title "Worst TF Movie Review"
    and just click the link and post your thoughts.

    It's right there in red, READ IT.
     
  6. Darren

    Darren Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2006
    Posts:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    77
    Likes:
    +1
    This is a REAL review in my local paper a few weeks ago. This is not what I thought of the movie, I absolutly loved DOTM. The second best in the series.

    Here is the review,


    Saturday, July 16, 2011
    Your Weekend Edition
    Waikato Times


    Battle Fatigue

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon(M)
    Directed by Michael Bay
    ** (two stars)
    Reviewed by Sam Edwards

    With the running time of nearly three hours, Transformers 3 needed a great more than ear-bashing special effects, as cars turn into sentient beings and back into aliens engaged in a fantastic space war, because that is all you get. This narrative is empty of everything except noise.
    Once again alien mechanical monsters called Autobots who morph into Earth cars and trucks that kind of match their characters are fighting to save Earth and humanity from invasion by other Lego Meccano crosses, the evil Decepticons.
    The story is told by geeky Sam Dickiwit, sorry, Witwicky, still played by Shia LaBeouf. Sam has lost earlier girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) somewhere between the scripting and internecine politics which saw Michael Bay sack Fox, and instead found the wooden Carly, aka Rosie Huntington-Whitely, the British ex-Victoria's Secret lingerie and nude calender model. It is confused, disconnected, characterless rhubarb with few redeeming features apart from the effects, which at least have the significant advantage of being loud and spectacular enough to spot the mind and block the brain so that one simply experiences the wonderful visual chaos and believes that it is Cinema of Significance.
    Sorry about the sentence length, but this review is written for readers who can cope with somewhat complex syntax, not for users of social network abbreviations and those for whom continuous prose is like a dark cellar after the candle goes out. The film appears to have been written by a trendy but illiterate copywriter-and that is not an oxymoron-who has gathered a bunch of market-tested ideas beginning with Carly's legs.
    He has canvassed such delights as a derivative soundtrack, stereotypical crooks and a well-worn comedy act consisting of Witwicky's parents in a huge campervan.
    He has then filled the script with spectacular punch-ups.
    These Meccano guys fight with big shooters, fists, swords, daggers, flame throwers, and bombs-just like any bunch of marines taking on the ungodly enemy.
    He has targeted jokes, events and relationships to an audience he knows will not take a critical mind to this film.
    Folks, I can promise that if you do not manage to see this blockbuster, your lives will not be irretrievably diminished.


    As I said, not my review, just some pathetic critics point of view who knows nothing about Transformers in general.
     
  7. thebruteslayer

    thebruteslayer Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Posts:
    3,497
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +5
    -_-

    That's the only part of the review that's poor.
     
  8. Shizuka

    Shizuka Optimus Prime's Scriptor

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Posts:
    6,202
    News Credits:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    287
    Likes:
    +2,802
    When you go into a movie thinking it'll be bad then you'll see the film through blurry eyes.
     
  9. Dinobot747

    Dinobot747 Chopperface

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Posts:
    4,092
    News Credits:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +9
    ...It would be cool though.
     
  10. Altimus Prime

    Altimus Prime Shift perceptions

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2002
    Posts:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    111
    Likes:
    +0
    I don't know what the deal is with that "paper" or that "review," but that obviously is not a professional writer or movie reviewer.

    When I went to that paper's site, I found a few reviews of TF3, not written by this guy. Maybe they're reader submissions, I dunno.

    One I saw was this: Review: Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon | Stuff.co.nz

    He was in the end positive about the movie, but he said this:

    Emphasis added. Is that really the kind of TF movie you want, cheese, cliche and silliness? I think TF can do better, and deserves better.

    And that's why TF 3 could've been better.

    My prior comment was based on the responses that reviewer in the original post was getting about his review. That people get personally offended when someone doesn't like the movie is ridiculous. The only person who has any right to get personally offended is Michael Bay, and maybe others actually involved in making the film. A fan/a viewer can disagree with someone else's opinion, but they have no standing upon which to launch into the rants he got in response.

    I am a Transformers fan. I have been since the start. The "franchise" deserved better than this last movie. "We" invest in these characters, because we "know" them, and see them for more than just mechanical constructs that simply fight. But that is all Bay presented of them, and that's all your casual, movie-going fan is going to take away, because they have no other interest or "investment" in them.
     
  11. The F.N.G.

    The F.N.G. Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2011
    Posts:
    2,524
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +4
    I don't read/watch many reviews online, so the worst I've probably come across is the Escape to the Movies DOTM review over at the Escapist. To quote:

    "I suppose I should be grateful you're in a theater instead of behind the wheel of a car or a voting booth where you can do real damage."

    Saying the movie sucks, fine. That's your opinion, you're welcome to it. But insulting those who chose to go see it just kills your credibility, IMO.
     
  12. Altimus Prime

    Altimus Prime Shift perceptions

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2002
    Posts:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    111
    Likes:
    +0
    I'd expect a reviewer would do better than saying the movie "sucks." I'd like more thought in a review than that.

    And if insulting those "who chose to go see it" kills the reviewer's credibility, what do insults and threats against the reviewer(s) say about the "fans"?
     
  13. The F.N.G.

    The F.N.G. Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2011
    Posts:
    2,524
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +4
    Ideally yes, a review should be more than that. But there are a good number out there that are basically "This movie sucks, don't go see it".

    Maybe it's just me, but I think that a review should keep a certain level of professionalism about their work, especially if they're getting paid for it. The "fans" who bitch, insult and complain don't really bother me because there will always be those who don't do the research before complaining, or take a negative comment as a personal attack. Reviewers, IMO, should be above that. Recommending that someone not go see a certain movie is fine, calling them stupid if they do go see it is not.
     
  14. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Posts:
    14,268
    Trophy Points:
    312
    Likes:
    +1,612
    It´s a matter of ego. By dumbing down the audience, they think themselves are "better", all in all, it´s a matter of elitism.
     
  15. Optimus1138

    Optimus1138 Minecraft Addict

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2011
    Posts:
    4,712
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    262
    Location:
    Michigan, US
    Likes:
    +2,947
    Ebay:
    I found a Christian movie review site (don't be offended, Christians; I'm not saying anything against Christians, and I am one myself) (here's the review) on TV Tropes, which gave the most ridiculous review of DOTM I've ever seen. Although it's supposed to say how Christian-friendly the movie is, it's really more about how super conservative-friendly it is. Among other things, they criticize "questionable remarks about Republicans" (probably the part in the interview montage with the line "We're mostly Republicans here," although that doesn't seem like it should be insulting to Republicans), Sam getting a medal from Obama, and the "anti-capitalist" element of a businessman (Gould) being a villain, despite the fact that his being a businessman had nothing to do with his being a villain. It's also blatantly racist, praising the "negative portrayal" of a Decepticon leader (I assume Megatron) being "dressed like a Muslim."
     
  16. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Posts:
    14,268
    Trophy Points:
    312
    Likes:
    +1,612
    On that note. I drive, I enjoyed the movie.. That means I´m a danger to people. :p 
     
  17. seekerblackout

    seekerblackout Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2011
    Posts:
    10,796
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +26
    :banghead:  Megatron WAS NOT A F*CKING MUSLIM!
     
  18. Mario

    Mario Italian Plumber

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Posts:
    320
    Trophy Points:
    76
    Likes:
    +1
    I read that review along time ago. He's a dick.
     
  19. Poho

    Poho That's MISTER Poho to you

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Posts:
    6,207
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +2
    Some people are astoundingly imperceptive.