What Aspergers has done to me...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Moonlight1102, May 10, 2013.

  1. kaijuguy19

    kaijuguy19 Keyblade Wielder

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    Wow....He really did cross the line....
     
  2. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Well-Known Member

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    Well if you do end up killing him, just be smart enough not to brag about it over the internet, and likewise for actually getting it done without fucking up (aka, not finishing the job) or leaving enough evidence to get you jailed.


    ... or better yet, live your life & be a success. Fuck people like him.
     
  3. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    "I want to kill my father because he puts my future and well-being ahead of the current emotional needs of my teenaged internet-friends" - Does that sound reasonable to you?

    Your father might not be the nicest guy in the world, but you could do worse. He's ensuring you've got a roof over your head, food in your belly, and an education in your skull. Those are his priorities for you at this point, not how Icey is doing (because he doesn't know her, and seems to put even less weight on e-friends than I do), and that's his prerogative as your dad. You might not agree with that, but he's the legal guardian in this situation, so he's the one at the top of the totem pole.

    And, unpolished exterior aside, I can't say I blame him. If he wants you to be self-sufficient by 18 (which may or may not be an exaggeration on his part), it is absolutely essential that you excel in your studies as much as possible now. That increases your chances of getting a scholarship, or entry into a post-secondary institution, and that may give you a good chance of setting yourself up for a good future. I'm not going to give him a pass for the physical abuse, shit's unacceptable in my eyes, but its a bitter truth of the world is that's perfectly acceptable behavior in a lot of places. The emotional abuse and favoritism, likewise is bullshit, but if you can't stand it all the more reason to put your nose to the grindstone and get out of that house as soon as you're able.

    As for the having sex part, I'm not going to fault him on that. He's your father, yes, but he's also a man. He's got his own needs to look after, and while he doesn't seem to be taking the most tactful way to address them, it looks like he's trying to shield you from that part of his life (by telling you to stay in your room). Coming to terms with the fact that your parents aren't perfect is a sad, cruel truth in growing up, but learning to see things from their point of view (or at least trying to) is one of the most important skills you can learn.

    Lastly, he may be seeing your attitudes towards icemagnus' current issues through the lens of your tendency to become heavily emotionally invested in your friendships, often to an unhealthy degree, and is likely trying to redirect your attention to your studies, which he feels are more productive. Let's be honest, you claimed you were ready to kill yourself only a week and a half ago. As I said in the other thread, there's only so much that e-friends can do for each other, and people need to find help in the real world. And frankly, in your case, you need to focus on YOUR OWN problems before you even think about seriously trying to help someone else with theirs. What progress have you made in that regard? What steps have you taken?
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2013
  4. Fallout

    Fallout Banned

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    the best way to get back at him? turn it against him. become a self-sufficient person in the real world, have a family of your own and when he wants to be friends with you blow him off. success is the best form of revenge. or beat the shit out of him.

    point is, killing your dad wouldn't solve anything.
     
  5. rattrap007

    rattrap007 One meme mutha f’er TFW2005 Supporter

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    Best thing to do is do everything in your power to be better than him. Graduate, go to college, get a good job, have kids and never look back at him. Kick him out of your life. Treat your kids with the love and understanding you wanted. That is how you beat someone like that.
     
  6. TFW10

    TFW10 Well-Known Member

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    You may not like your father but he does provide for you.

    If you do kill him, is it worth going to jail because you killed him?

    He wants you to get A's because he knows he can't.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2013
  7. Crockett

    Crockett natural bodybuilder

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    This is not great advice. Everyone needs social supports. The older you get, the more you need them. His father needs them just like everyone else.

    The concept of family has kind of been lost in this country. It's a cultural phenomenon that isn't nearly as prevalent in other countries. The OP should do what he can to work things out with his father. There are a gazillion people out there who are even less lovable than his father appears to be. It's something you have to get accustomed to.
     
  8. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Well-Known Member

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    I think it's perfect advice, actually.
     
  9. Dark Skull

    Dark Skull Well-Known Enabler Moderator

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    To all that think he really meant he's going to take someone's life.....I would want to believe that part in bold is the reason why he said he "wanted" to. We tend to say dumb things when we're emotionally distraught......
     
  10. Crockett

    Crockett natural bodybuilder

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    Then you haven't lived very long. His father is 69. Average life expectancy globally is only like 68. The good times are basically over for him. My mom only made it to 63. The OP will likely wake up one morning and his father won't be there anymore. That's just a fact of life.
     
  11. Dark Skull

    Dark Skull Well-Known Enabler Moderator

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    Depending on the person and their upbringing, and life experience, it may actually be the best advice for him. You don't know what's going on in his daily life. You can only assume so based off of the person's angry tirade. Granted, what you have said holds some truth to it, saying "its not great" advice as if it were fact, may just be as bad. You can always interject your own opinions based upon what you believe (which is also founded from your own life experiences), but it should never discount the experiences of others and their opinions.

    Sometimes, there are people that have no redeemable value to them. Sometimes, you can't help those who do not want it. Sometimes, you cannot rekindle a relationship with someone who does not want it. Before you say one person's advice is bad.....you have to know more of the story first.

    And how old are you? How many people have you dealt with in your life? Enough to be able to lend some general understanding towards people's situation/circumstances at the very least? Or are you merely going off of your own perceived notions of what should be and what is?
     
  12. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, and assuming what the OP said holds true, that'd probably be a good thing in the long run. I'm not in the camp of forgiving bad behavior simply because people are old. If anything, all that does is devalue the elderly folks who've retained their sense of decency & respect, and that aint right.
     
  13. Crockett

    Crockett natural bodybuilder

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    I'm not saying the OP doesn't have legitimate grievances. I'm saying it's best to try to maintain and improve social supports rather than discard them as a result of said grievances. And sooner or later, you have to accept people for what they are, as it's very difficult to change them.

    As was stated, I am not on the "inside" in this situation. I don't know the OP; nor am I familiar with the relationship between the two. The "advice" I am giving is very general in nature. Take it, or leave it.
     
  14. rattrap007

    rattrap007 One meme mutha f’er TFW2005 Supporter

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    I considered what he said. His father is overly demanding (Straight A's are the only acceptable thing), has said to his face that the kid ruined his life, became nearly abusive when he was younger, shows blatant favoritism to the brother, etc. To me this is not the type of influence to have in ones life.

    Look if the dad was strict and kept trying to keep him studying to become a success and then gave positive reinforcement when he achieved good grades, that is one thing. But he sounds more than the simple teen "my parents suck" routine when mommy and daddy won't let him stay out past curfew.

    In cases like this where there is emotional abuse (I would call this that to a degree). That is why I say be better than him. Live in his house and get A's. Graduate, go to college and get a good job. Become better than him. If he makes demands tell him all the crap he gave you and tell him you don't want him in your life if that is how you feel.

    When hearing things like this I always imagine how I'd handle things if I was the dad. Personally I'd never resort to physical violence. I'd sit down and listen to him on issues. Ice may be his online friend, but as dad I wouldn't know who this person is talking to my kid. I'd explain how we don't know who they are and how it worries me. I wouldn't say they are unimportant or anything, I'd voice my concerns. I'd also explain the importance of getting the best grades possible, but I'd look for A's and B's. As long as I felt the kid was doing the best they can I'd be happy.
     
  15. FatalT 71

    FatalT 71 Mr. JazzHunter

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    No offense to the OP, but I think there may be some embellishment going on.
     
  16. rattrap007

    rattrap007 One meme mutha f’er TFW2005 Supporter

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    I'm not saying there isn't, but there may be some truth.

    Kids tend to think that a spanking was abuse or simple grounding means mean horrible parents. This may be slightly exaggerated, but it is possible he is not embellishing it.
     
  17. Crockett

    Crockett natural bodybuilder

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    I am curious about the age of the father (69) in relation to the age of the son (20-?); that is a bit unusual provided that they are the ages I am thinking they are. I'm also curious whether the father has any social supports other than the brother (who sounds like the main one).

    The point is that you can have grievances and consider it to be your burden to bear. You just eat them. They go out the window that that person is gone. Suddenly, the grievances you have are not with an actual person anymore. Lots of people have cut off one or both parents and felt like crap when they departed.
     
  18. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot What does God need with a starship?

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    My dad is 70 and I am 28.
     
  19. Crockett

    Crockett natural bodybuilder

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    Wow. My dad is 69. I am 42.

    But, there's also the matter of chronological age vs physical age. Some people may be 70, but they may look like someone 55ish. Others may look like they are closing in on 80.

    When comparing wider-than-usual age gaps, this seems like something that must be taken into account.
     
  20. Titanic X

    Titanic X Believe in the future!

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    This is definitely wrong. Favoring one son over the other... And abuse? This has got to stop. For real. Now I may not know how bad it is for you, but based on what you posted, I can get a basic idea. That leads me to my advice: GET HELP! If he tries again to hit you due to failed grades, then get the frag out and go somewhere with people you can trust, like a friend's house or even just a neighbor. Once there, ask them to barricade the doors or whatever and then tell them what's happening. Hopefully they'll call the cops and bag this creep for good. Prisoners in jail tend to think lowly of child abusers, so hopefully this guy will get a taste of his own medicine, so to speak. Anyway, the biggest thing to do is get out and go someplace safe if possible.

    Plus forcing you to only do schoolwork with no time for pleasure is just setting you up for trouble. I do work and pleasure both. Life needs to have a balance, and no fun in life will just make you a mere drone. Get out and go have fun! Gt your childhood back. Don't let this guy strip any more away from your childhood. Also, friends are just as important as family. I have some really close friends I love like family, and they've always been there for me. So why does he hate that?

    But the main thing is jut try your best in school and get some slagging help!