Nice beginning. & good attempt for a first try (not that I can say much, as I'm only 3 chapters into my only comic). *edit* Oh, & when I saw your Sig the other day (can't remember the thread), I thought it was comic related... Guess I was right, just for one yet to be posted.
Callin' the Autobots scum when they prolly themselves are 100X that themselves! XD Aaah, Proxi be approximately pro. .... Ya. ^^
Very cool stuff! I love Proxima as a Shinki, so I'm interested to see where you take the character. Best of luck!
It's a good start, Proxima. The story is - as my favourite saying goes - just like a bikini: long enough to cover the subject and brief enough to be interesting. A few comments that I hope you find helpful: The dialogue does feel a bit stilted in places. I think there are two factors there; the first is punctuation choices. For example, Arcee's first line "I'm burning rubber as fast as I can Tracks." In my head, that seems stiff and unnatural. Changing it to "I'm burning rubber as fast as I can, Tracks!" puts in a pause (for breath and emphasis) just before the name, and the exclamation point give the who sentence some energy and urgency. I find reading dialogue out loud, and carefully adding punctuation to reproduce what I said, helps a lot. The second part is over use of the characters names. While it's important to establish who's who, using the names too many times again seems forced. Simplest example: Starscream and Skywarp use each other's names in their first panel. Repeating them in the Autobots' reaction panel seems overdone. I would either have Tracks say something like "Seekers!" or, better, not have the jets use their names and let Tracks tell the audience who they are. There's a couple minor typos; "Lets" should be "Let's" as it's a contraction of "Let us." "Deceptiocons Incoming" could be "Decepticons incoming!" or "Decepticons! Incoming!" depending on what you want to do. And the framing of speech bubbles could be better. I don't make photocomics but I do make fan comics on the computer, and my workflow is to put in the text first and then draw the speech bubble under the words. Finally, I'd suggest a larger font - not much, just a couple points. This one the words seem disproportionately small compared to the pics. All in all, I give it a 90%, and look forward to the continuation!
Thank you for the amazing feedback! I'll try to keep all the advice in mind. ~smiles~ I just hope that I can keep things flowing smoothly.
I like it! It's a good start to the comic. And the fact that it's tied into Pol's comic at least in realities is definitely a plus. Hope to see more soon.
Nice comic, Proxima! The zooming cars & jets are always great fun, but Tracks' spinning wheels turned out especially well. Of course, knowing how much chaos those gynoids tend to spark, when they arrive, Tracks & Arcee might be better off walking away very quickly. Of course, in-universe, they can't possibly know this, unless they've got bizarre Deadpool powers.
Shooting tomorrow, does anyone have a good backdrop image for Inside the Arc I can Print off? Please~
Teletraan-I / Ark / Nemesis Display Panels! - TFormers Community Also has some Nemesis plates there as well.