Transformers: Superficial

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by Galvatross, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Hey Transformers fans! Here is the second story within the "Unibrow Trilogy." I hope you enjoyed the first story, "Transformers: Insanity." If you haven't read that you may want to check that out. I hope you all enjoy the sequel to "Transformers: Insanity," "Transformers: Superficial." New parts will come out irregularly over the next few months. Enjoy!

    Transformers: Superficial


    After the battle in which Hummus defeated Unibrow, the Autobots Beachcomber, Prowl, and Warpath/Michael Bay are living peacefully on their adopted home of Earth. Megatron and Galvatron and their Decepticons may have departed from their violent ways, but secretly the notorious Decepticon Starscream and his allies and soldiers ready themselves to conquer Earth. Unable to get help from Cybertron, the Autobot trio will need the help of some powerful, ancient Autobots that have been stranded on Earth for ages if they are to defeat Starscream, his Pretender allies, and his legions.

    Part 1

    It is a beautiful afternoon in rural California with a constant deluge of sunlight. A lone Highway Patrol car is parked on the side of a relatively lonely freeway that winds through some gently rolling hills. The hills are decorated with a carpet of green grass and wild flowers of various colors. A murder of crows pecks at some garbage that has accumulated on the side of the road before flying off as a few cars drive by. Many minutes pass before another car drives by the Highway Patrol car.

    A bright red Pagani Huayra with three human female occupants comes within view of the Highway Patrol car’s rearview mirrors. The Pagani is driving like a bullet out of a gun and going way over the speed limit. The siren is turned on as the Highway Patrol car turns onto the freeway and catches up to the speeding vehicle. The Pagani pulls to the side of the road as the Highway Patrol car follows and stops. The Highway Patrol car then transforms and is revealed to be the Autobot known as Prowl. Prowl walks up to the driver’s side of the vehicle as the driver’s window is lowered.

    “License and registration, please,” says Prowl.

    The driver is an olive-skinned young woman with long, dark hair. The two passengers look somewhat related to the driver. The driver gives her identification and paperwork to Prowl.

    “Ms. Kardashian, do you have any idea how fast you were going? I realize this car is a marvel of engineering by human standards, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to drive twenty miles per hour over the speed limit. It’s not worth putting other lives in danger,” says Prowl.

    “I’m sorry officer. I have an important business meeting to attend, so I was in a hurry,” says Kim Kardashian.

    “Tardiness is not an excuse for dangerous driving behavior. Since I’m not officially an officer here on Earth I can’t write you a ticket, but I am telling you that I don’t want you driving so fast again on this road. If you do, I will out speed you,” says Prowl.

    “Oh, I don’t know about that,” Kim whispers.

    “What was that?”

    “Oh, I was just wondering what the speed limit is here.”

    “It’s sixty five. By the way, Ms. Kardashian, you seem strangely unafraid. Most humans jump out of their windows when I approach them.”

    “Well, my family is really rich, so I’m used to all kinds of fancy gadgets.”

    “Okay. Well, you have a good day ma’am,” Prowl says as he lets Kim drive off. As Kim drives off in the Pagani, Prowl appears puzzled. There was something very odd about Kim Kardashian and her passengers and her car, but Prowl just can’t put his finger on it. Sooner or later he’ll have to contact Beachcomber and Warpath.

    A little later in the afternoon a lone military jet descends into a remote California valley. After a rough landing onto a grassy field the jet transforms into Starscream. He approaches the lone human structures in the valley: a fancy, light-colored, Spanish style mansion with separate buildings containing garages and guest accommodations. Outside of the mansion there is a pool and lounge area as well as a large garden.

    “This is so typical of females. Being late to my meetings? What’s wrong with everyone else in this universe? I guess not everyone can be as swift as Starscream,” the lone Seeker says to himself. He turns his head as the three Kardashian sisters walk out of the mansion and sit on some lounge chairs by the pool.

    “You can kiss my big ass, Starscream. I’m the royalty around here. The festivities don’t start until I arrive,” says Kim as she sips on a strange, glowing cocktail.

    “You’re the one who can polish my rear, Kim Kardashian. It was I who rescued you and your ungrateful sisters countless years ago from the necropolis planet of Der Zor,” says Starscream.

    “You helped, but it was Mindwipe who found us. Sure, he was being creepy and trying to communicate with dead Decepticons as usual, but if it wasn’t for him we would still be languishing on Der Zor instead of being the princesses of the Decepticons that we became,” Kim says.

    “Of course, how can I forget that it was Mindwipe who first found you? Still, since Megatron lost the Great War I am the true leader of the Decepticons, and I command respect. Next time you three must be on time,” Starscream says.

    “Well, it wasn’t our fault that we were late. We got pulled over for speeding, and the officer who pulled us over was none other than the Autobot Prowl,” says Kourtney.

    “Did he find out what you three really are? It matters not. The only Autobots on this planet are Prowl, Beachcomber, and Warpath. I, however, have armies that have been secretly arriving and hiding on this planet in recent weeks. We have not yet searched all places on Earth, but I doubt there are any more hidden Autobots that could get in our way. Earth is basically ours for the taking,” Starscream gloats.

    “Well, I don’t know about Prowl recognizing us or not, but I wouldn’t bet on there being no more Autobots on this planet. What about the few small patrols that went missing? I doubt the humans did that,” says Kim.

    “Some of my soldiers are simply incompetent. Still, despite almost getting caught, I’ll admit you do your jobs remarkably well. Kim, I want you to meet Warpath at a bar he’s going to tomorrow night. Make sure he comes back here with you. That will take care of one third of the three amigos. Some of my other troops will find Beachcomber and Prowl. Once they are defeated there will be nobody to stop the Decepticons from taking over this planet. The citizens of Earth will shake in fear at the visage of the greatest Decepticon leader of all time. Then the rebuilding of our once great empire will have begun,” Screamer says.

    “And we Kardashians will be worshipped on Earth as we once were on Cybertron,” Kim says.

    Kim pours another drink in her now empty glass, and she also pours drinks in her sister’s glasses and gets a glass for Starscream, too. They toast each other and behold the evil glints in each other’s eyes.

    That evening, on the shore of a mangrove swamp on the Pacific Coast of southern Mexico, Beachcomber treks through the mud on the edge of the water. Every step he takes his feet sink quite deep into the mud. Still, the journey is worth it to get away from the lights of the coastal towns and cities; being this far away from civilization makes the celestial bodies easier to see through his telescope. Also, here in the mangroves he can find some birds and other wildlife he has never seen before. Wood storks and herons and pelicans are all flying home to their nests from their daily fishing trips. The sound of the waves lashing against the shore is regularly interrupted by the sound of beating wings and the bird’s calls to one another. A family of coatis forages through the dim light under the mangroves with their ringed tails pointing up. The adults nibble on some unfortunate fiddler crabs while the youngsters playfully chase each other. The sight of the young coatis playing brings a smile to Beachcomber’s face.

    As the birds are settled for the night and the coatis retreat inland, a troop of spider monkeys leaps through the trees. Most of them are in a rush, but one of them stops and peers through the foliage to look at Beachcomber for a minute before running off to be with his troop. Beachcomber can’t tell what the monkey is thinking, but he can’t help but think how similar the monkey looks to a human. Humans and Cybertronians may be worlds apart in many ways, but they are not so different in other ways. Perhaps the same is true of Cybertronians and monkeys? Either way, it annoys Beachcomber to no end how both Cybertronians and humans do not fully appreciate the other living things that share this universe with them. Still it could be worse. At least Unibrow was defeated, and the Great War is long over, and the violence perpetrated by the Decepticons is a distant memory for the most part. Sure, Galvatron has only recently been defeated, but his insanity has been cured, and he was no longer a threat to the universe.

    The evening hours pass, and more stars come out of hiding, and the sky becomes a canvas of black with a tapestry of constellations. Beachcomber pulls out his telescope and goes on a mind-blowing trip of astronomical ecstasy. He fluently remembers the Cybertronian names of the stars and planets, but remembering the human names for them is something he still has to improve on.

    “I have yet to see a shooting star tonight. I hope that changes soon,” Beachcomber says after scanning the skies for a while.

    At the corner of his eye Beachcomber spots a strange object in the sky over the Pacific. He magnifies the object with his advanced telescope lens. A strange, purple blob is floating towards the Earth. It is no spaceship or escape pod or flying Transformer, and it doesn’t look like a typical meteoroid. Whatever it is, it looks like it’s a matter of several meters across, and it looks like it will land on the Earth within a number of hours.

    As Beachcomber is preoccupied, he fails to notice a large, dark monstrosity with red glowing eyes stalking him from behind in the mangroves. A startled jaguar roars and runs off, which alerts Beachcomber to this new menace. Beachcomber turns around and pulls out his blaster and points it at the red eyes.

    “Who are you? What are you? Leave this place in peace,” says Beachcomber.

    The creature continues to slowly advance through the darkness of the trees toward Beachcomber despite the warning. Heavy groans and snarls emanate from the creature’s mouth.

    “I hate to bring harm against any living being, but I will shoot not only to protect myself, but to protect Earth and its inhabitants,” says Beachcomber.

    The creature almost walks into the starlight of the open mudflat, but before it does it turns around and runs off. Beachcomber is perplexed. Feeling safe once more, he turns around and notices something strange in the ocean waters. A yellow pair of large, glowing eyes is submerged about a hundred meters offshore. It is joined by an equally gigantic pair of baby blue eyes. Behind the blue eyes a curved row of spines arches out of the water. After the eyes watch Beachcomber for a minute, they both sink into the deep along with the humongous row of spines. As the spines disappear a massive tail lashes from under the surface before it also vanishes. Then all is silent.

    Beachcomber is not sure what just happened. Whatever these things are, he decides to get out of there. He runs as fast as he can through the swamp before he reaches a dirt road he can actually drive on. There he transforms into a blue dune buggy and heads toward the nearest town. He will have to notify Prowl and Warpath immediately of these strange occurrences.
  2. Shadowwavepool7

    Shadowwavepool7 Life's suffering slave

    Jun 3, 2013
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    So the Kardashians are aliens, I should have known. :lol  I find it even funnier that they are teamed up with Starscream and Mindwipe of all people. Love the detail you put into it.
  3. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Thanks man. They are for sure teamed up with Starscream and a character we have yet to meet. Mindwipe plays a role in their past, but we won't see Mindwipe for quite a while. However, when he does show up he is definitely a very important character.
  4. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Here is Part 2 of Superficial. Enjoy!

    Part 2

    Michael Bay and his crew are filming his latest blockbuster at an abandoned theme park. The skeletal remains of a towering wooden roller coaster dominate the scenery on this hazy and hot day. He gets his crew to huddle together so he can explain the next shot.

    “All right guys, in this next scene a team of Decepticons called the Insane Decepticlown Posse are going to slaughter several generic Autobots that are hiding around the roller coaster and paint their own faces with the energon of the dead Autobots. They are then going to run away from the roller coaster as the whole theme park explodes. All right, does everyone understand what’s going on? Let’ do this,” Michael says.

    Everyone on the film crew gets in their appropriate positions. Michael Bay has his camera ready.

    “Ready, set, action,” Michael Bay yells as he films the roller coaster. Small explosions detonate on the mix of concrete and wood and dirt below the roller coaster. Then the finale comes. A ball of fire expands and consumes the wooden colossus, and then the sound of explosives fizzles into the sound of burning embers crackling in the heat.

    “That was beautiful,” Michael says as he claps slowly.

    “Man, there’s nobody on Earth more enthused about blowing stuff up than you, Mr. Bay,” one member of his film crew remarks.

    “I think there’s nobody in the galaxy who loves explosions and action more than I. Trust me, I know,” Bay says.

    Everyone else chuckles at what Mr. Bay says, and Bay joins with them in laughing. Nobody in his film crew realizes who Michael Bay really is and the battles he has waged. The Autobot Warpath may not look imposing in his human form, but he has fought many Decepticons over the ages, and for a long time on Earth he guarded the Golden Raspberry against the servants of Unibrow, the Bringer of Excess Hairiness. The Golden Raspberry may be lost, but maybe that’s the way it should be. Unibrow and his minions are defeated and no longer a threat at the moment. Megatron and Galvatron may be on friendlier terms with the Autobots, but evil has a tendency to pop up every now and then. Warpath heard what Beachcomber told him and Prowl last night, and he can’t help but think the Decepticons are a part of it. If what Beachcomber encountered in Mexico was a Decepticon, then Warpath can’t wait to get back in on the action. Still, there was something more going on. It was something that had always eluded him on Earth, but he had felt its presence many times in the days before humans became the dominant species. In ancient times he had seen glimpses of pairs of eyes similar to those Beachcscreamer saw in the water last night. Whatever they were, they had been on Earth for a very long time.

    “Great job everybody. I need to go have a few drinks tonight. I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Bay says.

    Hours later, Michael Bay gets dropped off by his limousine driver at his favorite bar, the Fireball, which is northwest of Los Angeles. The Fireball always has loud rock music playing and explosive personalities. Michael Bay always has a good time there. This night is no exception. The beer is flowing, the bar patrons are mingling with each other, and people are downing shots of whiskey. Bay walks by a pool table as several people recognize him and greet the famous director. He sits down at a table by himself and orders a beer.

    While he’s waiting for his beer, a short, dark-haired young woman in a black dress approaches Bay. She looks very familiar to him.

    “I know you. Aren’t you that film director who made ‘Transformers?’ I think I saw that on television once,” says the woman.

    “Yes, I am that guy. My name’s Michael Bay. What is your name? I recognize you from somewhere. I’ve seen you on the covers of tabloids I believe, but I never read that stuff,” Bay says.

    “I’m Kim. Kim Kardashian. I live not too far from here, so if I don’t feel like going downtown or flying to Europe or somewhere exotic during the weekend I usually come here,” Kim Kardashian says.

    “Now I recognize your name. I definitely have the money to travel everywhere all of the time, but I don’t have the availability in my schedule for that. When you’re directing and producing movies in addition to filming commercials and lingerie models you just don’t have time to take vacations often. What is it that you do again? There are so many celebrities in this town that I can’t keep track of them all,” Bay says.

    “Well, I’m surprised you don’t know, but I have my own reality television show, and I also have my own clothing line and store chain. Also, my dad was very rich, so that helps I guess. By the way, there’s a huge party at my mansion tonight. My husband is performing as the musical guest. There will be cocktails and the finest party favors. You definitely should come,” Kim says.

    “I don’t know. I have a lot of filming to do tomorrow, so I should get some sleep.”

    “Don’t be lame, Mr. Bay. Besides, you’ll see some guys you knew on Cybertron.”

    Michael Bay has a look of disbelief on his face. Does Kim know who he really is?

    “Excuse me, but did you just mention Cybertron? You actually have friends from Cybertron?” Bay asks.

    Kim nods. The server comes by with a tall glass of ale and gives it to Michael. It is indeed refreshing to the parched Michael Bay.

    “Who are they? I only know of two others who currently live on this planet,” Bay says.

    “I can’t tell you. It would be more fun if it was a surprise,” says Kim.

    “I suppose I can ask my limousine driver to pick me up,” says Bay.

    “You don’t need to worry about that. I drove here myself, so you should come in my car,” says Kim.

    “I guess I could ride along, but first let me pay my tab.”

    Mr. Bay pays the server and follows Kim Kardashian to the parking lot. There she unlocks a red and black Pagani Huayra and sits down in the driver’s seat.

    “Man, I love this car. A Pagani featured in my latest ‘Transformers’ movie,” says Mr. Bay.

    “Hop in the car,” Kim says.

    Bay gets seated and buckles up. Kim starts the engine and drives out of the parking lot. She makes a few turns and ends up on the nearest freeway.

    “Trust me, Mr. Bay, you’ll love how this car drives,” Kim says as she accelerates on the freeway.

    “You really have got to love the beauty of human engineering,” Bay says.

    “Indeed. I think you’ll love this even more,” Kim says menacingly.

    Out from the glove compartment and from under the passenger seat a number of paired tentacles reach out and wrap Michael Bay around the legs, arms, and chest. Bay struggles, but he is unable to move or escape.

    “I should have known all of this time. You must be a Decepticon,” Bay says.

    “You have guessed correctly, Michael Bay. I think I’m going to call you Warpath instead. It’s funny that millions of people think you’re a human, when in fact you’re actually one of the most legendary Autobot warriors in Cybertron’s history. The funny thing about me is that millions of pathetic human males think they’ve seen me wearing little or no clothing. They have no idea that they have never seen what my real body looks like. I hope they like it,” says Kim.

    Kim Kardashian’s human appearance fades away as her true robot form beneath her faux skin and clothes is revealed. The Pagani is driving by itself as she gets out of her seat, sits on the dash board, and places her left hand on the top of the passenger seat.

    “You’re our prisoner now. Soon enough your fellow Autobots Beachcomber and Prowl will join you, and the true inheritors of the Decepticon crown will rule this pathetic planet. Don’t worry, Warpath, we’re almost at our destination,” Kim says.
  5. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    I was hoping to post another part this week, but I have a lot going on, so the next chapter won't be released until the week after next week.
  6. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Here is Part 3. I hope everyone enjoys!

    Part 3

    The Pagani Huayra carrying Kim Kardashian and the imprisoned Michael Bay rolls up to Kim’s rural mansion and pulls into the driveway. Kim’s sisters walk up to the passenger side and walk Bay out of the car.

    “Take him to our dear leader, girls,” Kim orders.

    As Khloe and Kourtney restrain Bay and escort him to their pool area, the Pagani transforms into a shiny red Decepticon of average size and build.

    “Why do I always have to be the one to transport such filthy Autobots? Especially ones that look like the ugly local life forms,” the Decepticon says.

    “Show some respect to us ladies, Knock Out. It’s not like I want to get my delicate hands on Warpath. Besides, we’re the ones who are actually disguised as humans,” Kim says.

    “I wouldn’t worry about your hands when I’m carrying you and your sisters around everywhere. The dust from my travels is ruining my interior and paint job,” says Knock Out.

    “You’re such a wuss, Knock Out. It’s time to go meet our fearless leader,” Kim says.

    Knock Out and Kim go greet their leader, Starscream, who is ready to entertain their Autobot prisoner.

    “Excellent work, my Decepticons. I’m impressed that you were able to bring me an Autobot with such a reputation as Warpath. Or should I call you Michael Bay? That is the name of your human form I hear,” Starscream says.

    ‘Starscream, what are you doing on Earth? I thought Megatron and Galvatron and the Decepticons were at peace with the Autobots,” Mr. Bay says.

    “Megatron? Galvatron? How dare you mention them! A true Decepticon would never live happily knowing it’s the Autobots who happily dwell on Cybertron after the Great War. I am the leader who must plant the seeds of a new and improved Decepticon empire. Taking back a united Cybertron is too risky at the moment, but Earth would be a nice consolation prize for the time being,” Starscream says.

    “There’s only one little problem, Screamer. You may have captured me, but I have two Autobot friends here who will defend this planet. Good luck defeating them with your little band of fake chicks,” Bay says.

    Starscream laughs maniacally in response to Warpath’s statements.

    “Do you think two measly Autobots can stop Starscream? I’m the most skillful warrior from Cybertron and the pride of the Decepticon Armada. Even if I was not the supremely talented and powerful leader who I am, I still have an army of thousands. My Decepticons have been infiltrating this planet in the recent days and weeks. They have been hiding in Earth’s wilderness areas and beneath the waves of the oceans waiting for my signal. Soon enough my most elite soldiers will have taken out Beachcomber and Prowl. They are already within sight. Then Earth will belong to Starscream. My lovely Kardashians, take this Autobot to our little prison,” Starscream says.

    The Kardashians cuff Warpath and imprison him in a small, escape-proof cell in the basement of their mansion. Warpath is unable to perform his trademark explosions with his hands restrained in such a way, and even his explosions would be useless against Starscream’s top notch security technology. Michael Bay is powerless for the time being. He can only hope that Beachcomber and Prowl are able to avoid his current predicament.

    On a remote dirt road several mountain ranges away under the moonlit night sky, Prowl sneaks around the pine trees. He has not seen anything of note, but he can sense the presence of something not organic. He tries to be as quiet as possible, but he feels very much like something otherworldly is watching him. He looks around various pine trees and pulls out his pistol, but he sees nothing. After what feels like a while, he notices a bunch of broken branches scattered on the ground. Near the branches is a trail of monstrous three-toed tracks. The tracks greatly dwarf his own feet, but so far as Prowl knows there is nothing that big native to Earth. Intrigued, Prowl follows the tracks deeper into the wilderness.

    He follows the tracks through a ravine lined with tall rock formations and boulders. As he cautiously enters the ravine, a dark shape swoops down from the sky and fires down on Prowl. The laser fire causes an avalanche of rocks to fall down on Prowl, and his legs become stuck beneath the rubble. The flying craft circles overhead. Prowl fires back while realizing that it’s Cybertronian in nature. The craft evades Prowl’s shots and transforms into a hideous, gremlin-like robot.

    “It’s Bomb-Burst! This is not my night,” Prowl exclaims.

    Bomb-Burst hovers in the air for a few seconds before dropping and landing feet first in front of Prowl. Several shadowy Decepticons stand above the ravine and look down at Prowl from many directions.

    “Prowl, it has been too long since I have tasted an Autobot’s energon. It brings me pleasure to inform you that you will be my first victim in millennia. However, before you meet your demise, I want to let you know that Starscream and the Decepticons will take over this planet, and all of your efforts to defend it will be in vain,” Bomb-Burst hisses.

    “You’ll have to fight me first,” Prowl says.

    “You’re the one who has to fight. All I need to do is bite,” says Bomb-Burst.

    Prowl draws his pistol and fires a few acid pellets into Bomb-Burst’s shoulder. Bomb-Burst squeals in agony.

    “Decepticons, destroy this scum,” Bomb-Burst commands.

    The Decepticons on the ridges above aim their blasters, but they hesitate to shoot as the ground beneath them shakes. The Decepticons then look wildly in every direction and fire randomly in the darkness. Something big is moving close. A gigantic, roaring shape comes into view, and one of the Decepticons gets crushed under its huge foot. Another Decepticon disappears into a mouth filled with glistening, metal teeth. Two more Decepticons get thrown far into the air by the creature’s long and powerful tail. The huge creature then roars and sends a blast of fire across the ravine, which sends the remaining generic Decepticons scurrying. Feeling vulnerable, Bomb-Burst transforms and retreats into the night sky.

    Prowl is relieved that all of the Decepticons are dead or not in the vicinity anymore, but he lays low in an attempt to hide from the new menace. He is finally able to maneuver his legs out from beneath the rubble, and he sneaks behind a large boulder and peeks over it. Standing a few hundred meters away is a gigantic robot that resembles an ancient creature from Earth’s past that the humans called Tyrannosaurus rex. The mechanical dinosaur stares at the Moon with his glowing, red eyes. The tyrannosaur then sniffs the air and turns his head in Prowl’s direction. Prowl ducks to where he thinks the tyrannosaur can’t see him, but he hears and feels the vibration of heavy steps coming closer. Prowl closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them he finds himself staring the mechanical tyrannosaur straight in the eyes. Prowl tries to stay composed, so Prowl slowly stands up and backs away from the beast. The tyrannosaur slowly follows, so Prowl pulls out his pistol, which causes the tyrannosaur to growl in annoyance.

    Then to Prowl’s surprise the tyrannosaur transforms from a dinosaur into an equally intimidating barbarian robot wielding a gigantic axe and sword. The mechanical jaws of the tyrannosaur form an impressive set of shoulder pads in the humanoid form of the robot.

    “Me Grimlock destroy puny Decepticons that invade forest of me Grimlock. Who you little Autobot? Me Grimlock rescue you from ugly monster robot,” the gigantic robot says.

    “I am Prowl, and while your methods may not be up to my standards, I do appreciate the assistance, mighty Grimlock,” says Prowl.

    Grimlock becomes visibly annoyed at Prowl’s remark.

    “Tiny Prowl, me Grimlock think you foolish. Other Autobots need help from me Grimlock and other Dinobots if you survive nasty Decepticons. Starscream gather many Decepticons on here planet,” Grimlock says.

    “Oh boy, it’s going to be a long night. However, you did save my life, so I will accept any help you can offer from here on out. Did you mention Starscream and other Decepticons? We will need some more help,” Prowl says.

    “In mean time, you must stay with me Grimlock,” Grimlock says.

    Grimlock transforms back into a tyrannosaur and walks off into the forest. Even though he is a little annoyed by Grimlock’s attitude, he will follow Grimlock wherever the Dinobot leads him for the time being. Together, the odd pair disappears into a maze of evergreens.
  7. Shadowwavepool7

    Shadowwavepool7 Life's suffering slave

    Jun 3, 2013
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    You stole my vehicle for Knockout :lol 
  8. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Haha not at all! Knock Out was always going to be a Pagani in this story. When I first saw the Pagani revealed as a TF 4 vehicle last summer I initially hoped for it to be Windcharger. Then I wanted it to be a Con, and myself and others wanted it to be Knock Out. I guess since the Pagani was Stinger, this is our way of making our TF 4 desires come true. It is a cool coincidence nonetheless. I notice we also both have Dinobots in our current fan fics, although we don't have the exact same lineups.
  9. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
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    Here is Part 4. We get to meet a few more Dinobots. Enjoy!

    Part 4

    In the middle of a hazy day Beachcomber is driving north along a coastal road in western Mexico. Ever since a near attack by an unknown creature two nights ago he has been cautiously trekking up the coast in his dune buggy alternate mode. Every once in a while he stops, transforms, and hides while spying on the area for signs of his potential enemies. The road meanders from the rocky coast through a thick grove of pines and oaks. Beachcomber drives off of the road and transforms while lying low.

    “I hear something,” Beachcomber whispers to himself. “Several big, mechanical beings are moving several hundred meters to the south of me.”

    Beachcomber listens as he hears several large unknown creatures walk past him without noticing him. They converse to one another in Cybertronian, and from their conversation it seems they are looking for an Autobot. It also sounds like Starscream is the one commanding them, so they must be Decepticons. Rather than risk a fire fight, Beachcomber decides to lay low. Violence is the last possible option in Beachcomber’s mind. After a few minutes they sound like they are far enough away, so Beachcomber leans up and pulls out his blaster just in case.

    It appears like the coast is clear when from the south a burly Decepticon resembling a gorilla leaps from tree to tree. Beachcomber recognizes the Decepticon as Apeface, and looking at Apeface’s eyes he recognizes Apeface as the monster that almost attacked him in the mangrove swamp the other night. Apeface bares his gigantic canines and leaps on the ground in front of Beachcomber.

    “Don’t be afraid, Beachcomber. I am under orders to bring you back alive to Starscream. Besides, it’s not like a cowardly hippie like your self will fight back anyways,” Apeface says.

    “There’s more to cowardice than choosing to not fight, Apeface,” Beachcomber says as he tries to run away.

    Apeface leaps in front of Beachcomber’s path and stares him down.

    “Decepticons, the hunt is on. Time to beat this hippie down and take him to our leader,” Apeface says.

    “Oh, this hippie is tougher than you think,” Beachcomber says as he runs in another direction to avoid the other Decepticons as well as Apeface.

    “If you’re so tough, then you’ll be able to handle my energon waste,” says Apeface.

    Apeface walks behind a tree so he can go to the bathroom. He then reappears holding several pieces of glowing, slimy energon poo. He charges behind Beachcomber and flings the energon poo towards Beachcomber. A few of the volatile chunks explode on contact with the ground and send Beachcomber flying forward. Beachcomber aims his blaster at some poo that is on its way to hit him and pulls the trigger. His shots nail Apeface’s energon waste and cause it to explode in mid air.

    “Now you’re just making me mad, Autobot. I don’t care what Starscream wants us to do anymore. Now I just want you dead. Decepticons, fire at will,” Apeface says.

    Beachcomber tries to reach the nearest road, but he ends up having to dodge a barrage of laser fire from the Decepticons. He shoots the gun of one of the Decepticons out of its hands. Then he manages to avoid getting hit by missiles from a tank-like Decepticon. Fearing for his life, Beachcomber has no choice but to fire back. He shoots the large Decepticon in the optics and then fires a few blasts in its chest, causing the bruiser to collapse. The remaining generic Decepticons fire at Beachcomber, but Beachcomber dodges their shots and shoots them down.

    “Apeface, I told you I can be tough if I need to be,” Beachcomber says.

    Apeface is enraged and bounds to where Beachcomber is standing. He pounds his chest and faces down the lone Autobot.

    “Beachcomber, it’s just you and me. I’ll happily deliver your corpse to Starscream, but first I’m literally going to give you crap,” Apeface says as he plays with the last of the energon poos in his hands like a ball.

    As Apeface talks and is ready to beat Beachcomber to a pulp, Beachcomber is silent as a giant beast stalks Apeface. With a red metallic luster, crocodile-like jaws, a large, spiny dorsal sail, and a powerful tail, Beachcomber recognizes it as a gigantic robotic Spinosaurus. Without hesitation the spinosaur turns its jaws sideways and snaps up Apeface. The spinosaur then tosses the screaming Apeface into the air and catches the Decepticon with a huge crunch. The spinosaur then spits out what remains of Apeface on the ground in front of Beachcomber.

    “I don’t like seeing any living thing die, but thank you for saving me whoever you are,” Beachcomber says.

    The spinosaur’s big, blue eyes stare at Beachcomber for a moment. The spinosaur does not seem aggressive towards Beachcomber in any way. Beachcomber recognizes the spinosaur as one of the creatures staring at him from offshore the other night.

    “I’ve seen you before. You were watching me from the waves the other night further south along the coast,” Beachcomber says.

    The spinosaur transforms into a gigantic, robotic knight, and from the knight's helmet a deep voice rumbles.

    “Scorn save tiny Autobot from nasty Decepticon mammal both other night and now. Unfortunately Decepticon mammal no taste good to mighty Scorn,” says Scorn.

    “Yeah, his hygiene was nasty, even for someone like me who enjoys getting my hands and feet dirty exploring the wilderness. I am the Autobot Beachcomber. You are Scorn? Why do you resemble a Spinosaurus from the Cretaceous period? Also, who was your companion the other night offshore? I saw a pair of eyes besides yours,” Beachcomber says.

    “Reason Scorn look like spinosaur long story. No time explain now. Now Scorn show you other Dinobot friend. Then later take you to Dinobot king Grimlock,” Scorn says.

    Scorn transforms back into a Spinosaurus and lowers his tail for Beachcomber to hop on. Beachcomber hitches a ride and gets carried out of the forest and down to the beach below. Beachcomber jumps off of Scorn and instantly starts combing the beach for rocks and shells.

    “This is a nice piece of red chert. Is that some petrified wood over there? Man, this beach has some nice stuff lying around,” Beachcomber says.

    “Scorn love to hunt shores of Cybertron for Sharkticons. Come meet Dinobot friend,” Scorn says.

    Offshore a reptilian head with yellow optics emerges from the surface. The head rises to reveal a long, swan-like neck and then a bulky, metal body with large flippers. Paddles skis across the surface of the water before diving down into the deep. Paddles then leaps into the air, revealing a belly shimmering with sharp, metal armor. Paddles lands on the moist sand next to Beachcomber and Scorn and blows fire and smoke into the air. Paddles then transforms into a robot wielding a harpoon.

    “Paddles excited to meet seashore loving Autobot. Scorn, Paddles, and Autobot love play in surf. Together hunt Decepticons. Earth ocean have many Seacons. Land have more Decepticons,” Paddles says.

    “Nice to meet you Paddles. I’m Beachcomber. Did you say there are more Decepticons here on Earth? I’ve dealt with enough already today,” Beachcomber says.

    “Yes Beachcomber. Many more Decepticons invade Earth,” Paddles says.

    “Decepticons no match for Dinobots. Dinobots strongest robot warriors,” Scorn says.

    “Well, I don’t doubt your combat ability, Scorn and Paddles, but I still must ask Optimus Prime for help. We’ll need all the help we can get if there are indeed as many Decepticons as you guys say,” Beachcomber says.
  10. Shadowwavepool7

    Shadowwavepool7 Life's suffering slave

    Jun 3, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Energon feces huh? That unintentionally gave me an idea.
  11. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Here is Part 5 everyone. We learn more about the Dinobots and the history of Earth in this one.

    Part 5

    Starscream paces back and forth at the Kardashian’s mansion. Knock Out and the Kardashians stare at the impatient Decepticon leader.

    “Why have I not heard back from my teams of Decepticons? Will I have to do everything myself? The Great War must have taken all of the best and brightest from our ranks other than me, of course,” Starscream says.

    “Well, the Great War didn’t kill the best looking, that’s for sure,” Knock Out says.

    “Shut up, Knock Out. It’s not like a fancy automobile can compete with an aircraft. Indeed, what can you do, Knock Out? Maybe I should send you out to take care of Beachcomber and Prowl since it appears Apeface and Bomb-Burst are incompetent,” Starscream says.

    “Oh no, you wouldn’t want that. I’ve always been a medic, nothing more and nothing less. Besides, I don’t want my fancy new paint job getting scratched,” Knock Out says.

    Starscream picks up Knock Out by the neck.

    “You will do whatever you are told. I am the leader, and you and the other Decepticons serve Starscream. I hope this makes things clear,” Starscream says.

    “I…I…I understand perfectly clear. There is one thing you should know. Bomb-Burst is here,” Knock Out says with difficulty.

    A dark grey Cybertronian aircraft flies to the mansion and transforms into the hideous looking Bomb-Burst.

    “Starscream, I failed to bring you Prowl. He was not alone. A Dinobot came and destroyed the rest of your troops. I had no choice but to retreat,” Bomb-Burst says.

    “The Dinobots are not extinct? I thought they were but a distant memory, and that our very own leader of the Seacons, Snaptrap, was the last of them. Regardless, they will fall like the other Autbots. Bomb-Burst, come with me to prepare for the conquest of Earth. Kardashian sisters, you all have a conference in a few days in Los Angeles in which you will announce the Decepticon rule of Earth. Knock Out, you’re with the Kardashians. Please don’t make me babysit the four of you. I, Starscream, will meet with Snaptrap to discuss battle plans, and I will also try to find Apeface and his little brigade. Then we will attack the Dinobots and any others who stand in our way. Go, my Decepticons, and prepare for the glorious day in which we finally have a world of our own to rule,” Starscream says.

    Somewhere in the American West, in a mountainous wilderness where few humans travel, an ancient Cybertronian ship lies in an unexplored sinkhole. The ship has witnessed species come and go, ice advance and retreat, volcanoes covering the land with ash, the natural growth and destruction of forests and marshes and prairies, and even the end of an age. Despite its great age, it appears to be maintained and in working condition. Overlooking a pool of spring water, small waterfalls line up on both sides of the ship and carve shallow channels in the red rocks. The Dinobot leader Grimlock stands next to a Triceratops-looking Dinobot, Slag, and a Dinobot that resembles a pterosaur, Swoop. Prowl sits down on a flat rock nearby.

    “I talked to Beachcoomber, and he and your Dinobot friends should be here fairly soon. There is still no word on the whereabouts of our friend Warpath. We also contacted our leader Optimus Prime, and unfortunately he is unable to send any backup from Cybertron. Cybertron has been bombarded with some unusual meteorites lately, and the presence of more such meteors in the region of space surrounding Cybertron makes any interstellar trips too dangerous. Whatever they are, they are not normal meteors at all. They are purple in color, and the way they move through space is suggestive of some sort of intelligence controlling them. Beachcomber said he saw one such meteor headed to Earth a few nights ago. Something strange is at work, and I wish I was able to do some police work regarding that,” Prowl says.

    “It okay that Optimus no come to Earth. Me Grimlock and Dinobots destroy Decepticons ourselves,” Grimlock says.

    “Me Slag destroy everything!” Slag says.

    “Swoop fly high, see everything, help out Dinobots and Autobots,” Swoop says.

    “Me Grimlock hate Snaptrap most. Turn Snaptrap to turtle soup,” Grimlock says.

    “By Snaptrap do you mean the leader of the Seacons?” Prowl asks.

    “Yes. Us Dinobots explain, but first here come Scorn and Paddles,” Grimlock says.

    Scorn in his Spinosaurus mode and Paddles in robot mode burst through some trees and charge into the secluded gorge. Beachcomber is riding on Scorn’s tail, and Paddles jumps into the air, transforms into a plesiosaur, and dives into the spring. Scorn runs over to Grimlock and lets Beachcomber hop off. Paddles swims over to where the Dinobots and other Autobots are gathered.

    “Yes, all Dinobots here. Me Grimlock happy to see Dinobot friends,” Grimlock says.

    “Prowl, it’s good to see you again. It’s nice to meet all of the Dinobots. I’m an Autobot naturalist named Beachcomber. What is this place?” Beachcomber asks.

    “This home for Dinobot ship. Long time ago ancient Autobot leaders send Dinobots and others to distant planets. Dinobots and others instructed to protect planets with squishy organic life. Organic planets have heat from deep below ground, so ship of me Grimlock and other Dinobots made to absorb heat from Earth, volcanoes. That way energy of Dinobot ship recharge through time on organic planets that me Grimlock protect. Old dinosaurs dead long ago, but me Grimlock still perform duty, protect squishy Earth life in secret for ages since,” Grimlock says.

    “So you’ve been here since the dinosaurs lived here? Also, you said you were protecting Earth. What were you protecting Earth from in those days? There were no Decepticons back then,” Prowl says.

    “Decepticons born recently, but evil planet-robot Unibrow much older than Decepticons. Unibrow always cause trouble, always send minions to destroy all planets. We arrive on Earth soon before Unibrow send evil space rocks. Dinobots always protect Earth, but too many of Unibrow space rocks kill dinosaur friends long ago,” Grimlock laments.

    “So you guys all lived alongside dinosaurs, and Unibrow caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. It all makes some sense now. I have an idea, but never mind that now. Why do you look like dinosaurs? I mean it’s not like it helps you hide in a city very well,” Beachcomber says.

    “We Dinobots like toughness. We Dinobots meet many squishy creatures through ages, but dinosaurs toughest squishy creatures of all on any planet that we Dinobots know. We Dinobots turn ourselves into Dinobots out of respect and honor for toughest squishy creatures of all. Snaptrap once Dinobot too, resemble ocean turtle from when dinosaurs live, but when Unibrow space rocks hit Earth backstabbing Snaptrap leave Earth. Now Snaptrap part of Decepticons, lead underwater Decepticon army. Scorn and Paddles need hunt ocean enemies,” Scorn says.

    “And me Grimlock destroy other Decepticons,” Grimlock says.

    “Well, as a group facing far superior numbers we need a plan of action. Dinobots, since you are much stronger than Beachcomber and I, you should all set out to fight the Decepticon armies of Starscream wherever they meet you. Your methods are primitive to say the least, but I’m sure they’ll get the job done. Beachcomber and I are stealthier, so we’ll try to find out where Warpath is. You ready Beachcomber? Are you ready Dinobots?” Prowl says.

    “I’m ready to find our friend and protect Earth. Cybertron isn’t the only planet worth fighting for,” says Beachcomber.

    “Prowl not as smart as me Grimlock, but you not so shabby for puny Autobot either. Me Grimlock happily bash Decepticon brains and send Starscream flying off Earth. Dinobots, lets hunt Decepticons,” Grimlock roars.

    The Dinobots all run or climb or fly out of the sinkhole and head to wherever the Decepticons happen to encounter them. Beachcomber and Prowl run up one of the paths that lead out the sinkhole. Before he exits the huge natural pit, Beachcomber stops and looks back at the spring.

    “Man, this is a beautiful place. I wish I had more time to explore around here, but I have a job to do in the mean time. I’ll have to mark this place in my itinerary for after we find Warpath and rescue Earth. That is, if we do rescue Earth,” says Beachcomber.
  12. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Here is Part 6 of Superficial. Here we meet the very ancient Snaptrap! Enjoy!

    Part 6

    Starscream descends into a forest in coastal Mexico. Apeface’s last known signal was within a mile of where Starscream lands, so the self proclaimed Decepticon leader transforms and starts his reconnaissance. After a quick search he finds the relatively intact bodies of Apeface’s underlings. The bodies show evidence of having perished in a gun battle.

    “Please don’t tell me that nonsense peace-spouting hippie Beachcomber did this,” Starscream says to himself.

    Starscream follows the trail of destruction towards the edge of the Pacific Ocean and finds a few pieces of a Transformer scattered in the forest: a transformation cog, a spark chamber, and an arm and a partial head that could only belong to a certain Decepticon. It appears Apeface met a brutal end. Moreover, there are some very large three-toed tracks that lead from the location of Apeface’s remains to the beach.

    “It can’t be. There are more Dinobots on this planet than I realized. It matters not. My Decepticons will overwhelm them wherever they are. Well since the question of Apeface’s fate is settled, time to meet up with bad old Snaptrap,” Starscream says.

    Starscream transforms and flies west into the Pacific before heading north. After hundreds of miles he lands on a desert island somewhere west of Baja California. The bleached bones of whales and skeletal pieces of driftwood litter the sandy beach of the island. A number of frigatebirds soar on slender wings around the island, but Starscream scatters them by firing a few rounds into the air. Waves pound the shore, and after several minutes a giant, metallic turtle shell appears in the surf. Its surface is relatively smooth besides a dozen Cybertronian barnacles scattered here and there. Pretty soon the giant, robotic turtle with large flippers is hauling itself onto the beach. Snaptrap’s limbs are poorly designed for moving on land, so the robotic Archelon transforms into his original Decepticon form. Snaptrap’s robot mode is intimidating with the dual cannons on his back and a sword that resembles a sawfish’s snout. Snaptrap silently towers over Starscream.

    “Snaptrap, one of my favorite lieutenants, how do you like your little return to Earth? I know it’s been a very long time since your last visit,” Starscream says.

    “These Earth creatures are not nearly as fun to hunt as Autobots or Sharkticons, but fortunately there is bigger game to kill. My former brethren, the Dinobots, are still here on Earth after all of these millions of years,” says Snaptrap says.

    “Tell me about it. One of them killed Apeface, and another nearly got Bomb-Burst,” Starscream says.

    “It’s funny how the other Dinobots resemble dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and plesiosaurs, all of which went extinct sixty five million years ago, and yet my alternate mode is that of the turtle, and it still swims Earth’s oceans today. Just like the turtle survived, it will be I who lives and they who go extinct, and I will be the one to kill them off. The Dinobots were fools to think they could try saving Earth’s dinosaurs from the onslaught of Unibrow. Leaving them and Earth behind and then millions of years later joining the Decepticons was the only logical choice for survival. Sure, eventually Hummus showed up and managed to stop all life on Earth from being wiped out, but it was a futile attempt by the Dinobots to even try and fight against Unibrow. Then I realized, as I do today, that I must stand with those who have a long range probability of survival. Fragile organic life can not survive all that the universe throws at it, and neither can the Autobots. That is why I happily destroy for the Decepticon cause,” Snaptrap says.

    “Snaptrap, you truly are one of the few Decepticons worthy of bearing the name. I assume all of your Seacon troops are ready,” Starscream says.

    “Most all of them are ready. The only thing is I can’t find Nautilator,” Snaptrap remarks.

    “Who cares? Nautilator is a bumbling idiot. We’ll be better of just leaving him wherever he is,” Starscream says.

    “I admit you are correct about Nautilator, Starscream. The rest of my troops will swim north towards the California coast. My former colleagues Paddles and Scorn and Swoop love the water. Soon enough they’ll find their way to the coast, and then we’ll turn them into chum,” Snaptrap says.

    “The other Autobots will be found sooner or later. Once they are all caught or destroyed this planet will be ours, and only the strong will survive. I go now to find the Autobots. Good bye, Snaptrap,” Starscream says as he transforms and blasts into the sky.

    Snaptrap charges into the crashing waves of the Pacific and transforms into his Archelon form. He dives rapidly, and soon enough he is lost to the realm of sunlight.

    Beachcomber and Prowl are near a mountain pass and take a moment to figure out what they should do. Prowl is staring at the screen of some fancy Cybertronian intelligence device.

    “I’m able to track Warpath’s most recent phone calls. His last known location was at a bar just out of Los Angeles,” Prowl notes.

    “When was that?” Beachcomber asks.

    “It was the night after Apeface nearly attacked you but didn’t. Let me try to hack into any nearby video cameras. Okay, that’s a shock. Apparently, our friend Mr. Bay left the bar with a woman I pulled over the day before. That’s really odd, but knowing how to do police work can really pay off some time,” Prowl says.

    “Great work Prowl. Who is this woman you pulled over?” Beachcomber says.

    “Have you ever heard of a woman named Kim Kardashian? Apparently she is a celebrity who has her own reality television program. Let me look into any property she owns,” Prowl says.

    “I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of her. I’d much rather hike through the wilderness or tread through a swamp or drive through a desert than watch a television show. It’s better for your mind than watching television, and you learn so much more about your fellow creatures and this universe we share. By the way, Prowl, do you think there will ever peace in this galaxy?” Beachcomber says.

    “I suppose. Why do you say that Beachcomber?” asks Prowl.

    “I mean, Cybertron has been at peace for a while, and Megatron has been somewhat repentant, and then we come to Earth to defend it against Unibrow’s forces. Unibrow gets defeated, but then Starscream and some other Decepticons show up to cause trouble anew. Regardless of whether we defeat Starscream or not, I’m afraid that the same old wars will get renewed over and over again. While I will always defend all living things from evil, I can’t deny that I’m getting sick of it. I want the cycle of violence to end sooner or later and preferably sooner, but I don’t know if it will,” Beachcomber says.

    “Well, as an officer it is my duty to serve and protect. It doesn’t matter how long we need to perform our duty. What matters is that we do it. It also doesn’t matter how much I piss people off; it matters that I’m doing the right thing,” Prowl says.

    “Trust me, I know how you can piss people off, Prowl,” Beachcomber says.

    “And that’s okay, Beachcomber. It’s okay to be pissed off at some things. Decepticon punks like Starscream piss me off, but if I wasn’t so pissed I would never find the fortitude to fight such bastards, and then the Starscreams of the universe would just get away with bloody murder. It’s good that you’re pissed off about the wars, for it means you are willing to fight for peace. Don’t worry, my friend, I believe one day things will finally be better, but first we have a lot of work to do,” Prowl says.

    “What you say is true, Prowl. Some times I think too much, and my mind just gets overwhelmed. Thank you. I admit that you’re a good friend,” Beachcomber says.

    “You’re welcome. Any time my friend. Oh, I found the addresses of Kim Kardashian, and I also found some traffic footage of the car she took Warpath in. I think she was driving to this address,” Prowl says as he points to the screen.

    “Great job once more Prowl. We need to get going. Warpath could be in trouble.”

    “I am ready to find him together. However, let’s not go too much over the speed limit. I don’t want to needlessly attract any human attention,” says Prowl as he and Beachcomber run to the nearest road and transform before speeding off.
  13. Shadowwavepool7

    Shadowwavepool7 Life's suffering slave

    Jun 3, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Seacons are cool, but is Terradive their king in your universe? I'm liking your Prowl a bit more now.
  14. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    I'm glad you like Prowl.

    About Terradive, he is not the king of the Seacons in this fan fiction's canon. Snaptrap is their leader, although I wouldn't describe him as a king. He has different origins than the Seacons under his commands, originally being a Dinobot. I figure if pterosaurs and plesiosaurs can be Dinobots, why not a Cretaceous chelonian?
  15. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Here is Part 7. Part 8 will be released in a little less than two weeks. Enjoy!

    Part 7

    The Kardashian sisters are in a conference room in Los Angeles. Knock Out is parked in his vehicle mode besides the front desk where the Kardashians plan on making their announcement regarding the Decepticon conquest of Earth. A middle-aged man with glasses walks by the rows of chairs which will be filled with news reporters in a matter of hours. He approaches the busy trio and gets Kim’s attention.

    “Hey, I’m a big fan of yours here. Are you three good? Do you need any help? Thanks for choosing us for your event needs,” the man says.

    “We’re fine, thanks. Now we would like to be alone. Are there any video cameras in this room? We’d like them turned off. Thank you,” Kim says.

    “Well, you’re so photogenic I don’t know why you’d want to avoid the cameras. I admit it’s probably not the right choice for security, but for a lovely lady like yourself I can grant you that request. The customer is always right,” the man says.

    “Thank you very much sir. We don’t want any security officers spoiling anything from the conference if you know what I mean,” Kim says.

    “I completely understand. I’ll leave you girls alone now,” the man says as he leaves the room.

    Kim tries reading the banner for the event.

    “It says ‘Reality television stars the Kardashians.’ These humans have the nerve to call us ‘reality stars?’ How dare they lump us in the same category as Honey Boo Boo and Flavor Flav,” Kim says.

    “Yeah, we’re not reality stars; we’re goddesses from the stars. Humans are like the peasants of the universe, and we’re the sexy, beautiful alien goddesses that are blessing them with our presence,” Kourtney Kardashian says.

    “To be fair, it’s not like the humans know where we come from. To them we are only reality stars,” Khloe Kardashian says.

    Knock Out transforms into his robot mode and chimes in on the conversation.

    “I would also like to add that I’ve seen your show before, and it’s not very good. As a matter of fact, it is horrible, and it’s certainly not as fabulous as yours truly,” Knock Out says.

    “Quiet Knock Out. You may think you’re oh so sexy, but we all know you’re no member of the Kardashian dynasty,” Kim says to a visibly angry Knock Out.

    “What ‘Kardashian dynasty?’ Your show is not reality by any means. Rob isn’t your real brother. Bruce and Kris aren’t your real parents. Heck, you all happen to be Pretenders of all things. Your actual Cybertronian appearances are nothing like the human forms that appear on television. Heck, you were found as orphans on Der Zor of all places, so your true origins may never be known. All three of you are superficial individuals, regardless of whether you’re Cybertronians or humans,” Knock Out says.

    Kim and her sisters get really pissed at their Decepticon partner.

    “You dare call us superficial? You’re the last one to use that word. Besides, at least we’re actually pretty,” Kim says.

    “You tell him sister,” Khloe says.

    “It seems Knock Out needs to clean up both his exterior and his mouth,” Kourtney says.

    “Yeah, you’re the one that serves us,” Kim says.

    Knock Out snaps and flips the table near the Kardashian sisters. He then picks up all three sisters and holds them to the side of a wall. The Kardashians start to cry as Knock Out takes quick looks at the faces of all three,

    “You stupid, insolent, ungrateful b..bbb… bimbos have no appreciation for anything! I’ve carried all three of you around everywhere during my entire Earth stint. Whenever Starscream has a meeting with us, it was I who drove you to our destination. I don’t care if you were rescued in the worst place imaginable. That was long ago. I don’t care if some other Decepticon’s jaws dropped when you walked by on Cybertron, or if some idiotic human teenagers think you’re hot. The fact is your attitudes suck, and I’m not bowing down to you and your almighty rear ends any more. We’re partners in crime as Decepticons, not the Kardashians and slaves. I hope you all understand,” Knock Out says.

    All three Kardashians keep on crying and nod their heads.

    “Oh, and that’s another thing. Stop acting like you’re victims all of the time,” Knock Out says as he walks away and lights a cigarette.

    In their search for Warpath Beachcomber and Prowl arrive at the Kardashian mansion only to find it empty. There is no guard to be found. Prowl can’t even find a security camera or alarm.

    “If this is where the Kardashians hang out, and it’s this fancy, you’d think they would have someone watch the place,” Beachcomber says.

    “From experience I can tell that the Kardashians are too stupid to even consider beefing up security. We may have to do a little breaking and entering here,” Prowl says.

    Prowl and Beachcomber are too big to enter through the doors, so they have no choice but to smash a large window. Prowl inspects the living room and upstairs, while Beachcomber notices a large staircase that leads to a basement.

    Once downstairs, Beachcomber finds only an empty room with a large painting of the Kardashians on the wall. Still, Beachcomber feels that the room is more than meets the eye. He taps walls and inspects the painting. When he taps the painting a large door opens up, and a secret high tech prison is revealed.

    “Prowl, I’ve found something you should check out,” Beachcomber yells.

    Prowl stops what he is doing and runs into the basement.

    “I thought this house would have some secrets, but not this. Not only is this prison high tech, but it also uses technology humans have never even seen or heard about. I think we have to face two interesting possibilities,” Prowl says.

    “Let me guess. The Kardashians are either Cybertronians, or they are in contact with Cybertronians,” Beachcomber says.

    “You nailed it. Let’s see if our friend Warpath is in here,” Prowl says.

    Prowl and Beachcomber check out cell after prison cell. The cells are mostly empty save for a few Sharkticons and Insecticons.

    “They definitely have an interesting little collection. How did they acquire these specimens?” Beachcomber asks.

    “I’m beginning to wonder if the Kardashians are connected to the Decepticons,” Prowl says.

    “I guess we’ll find out soon enough. By the way, I just found Warpath,” Beachcomber says.

    Warpath is restrained in an extremely tight and tiny cell. The Autobot the humans know as Michael Bay is more than ready to be let out.

    “Guys, it’s great to see you. If I can’t make anything blow up then I’m having a bad time,” Bay says.

    Prowl presses the button to open the cell, and he uses his saw blade to free Bay from the cuffs and restraints.

    “It’s about time I get out of that cell. We must get going. Starscream’s Decepticons are going to attack any time. The Kardashians are Pretender Decepticons, and they’re announcing the Decepticon conquest of Earth later today at a television conference. They all must be stopped,” Bay says.

    “I’ll go put an end to the Kardashian conference,” Prowl says.

    “I’ll take Warpath and find the Dinobots. My tracking device says they are a few hours south of here,” Beachcomber says.

    “I can’t wait to blow up some Decepticons,” Bay says as his eyes light up.
  16. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    For those who read this fan fiction the next part won't be up until the week after next week some time. I'll be busy until then.
  17. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    I finally got around to Part 8, as I was gone all last week and then a little sick this week, and I'm still not great. This one features plenty of Dinobot vs. Decepticon action. Enjoy!

    Part 8

    Thirty five thousand feet in the air the jet better known as Starscream cruises side by side with Bomb-Burst. The hills below them gently roll through a mosaic of orchards, vineyards, fields, woodlands, and homes. The terrestrial landscape is suddenly interrupted to the west by steep cliffs and the ocean surf.

    “For such big Autobots these Dinobots sure are hard to find,” Bomb-Burst notes.

    “Silence Bomb-Burst! If anyone will find our quarry, it shall be I, Starscream. Besides, it’s not like this planet has Cybertron’s honeycombed surface,” the Seeker says.

    “I just wish we were looking for them at night, that’s all,” Bomb-Burst says.

    “Of course you would, Bomb-Burst. Look below. I have a Dinobot visual, and better yet all five of them are together. Defeating them will be like Chameleocons snatching Insecticons in the Morphobot jungles of Polyhex,” Starscream says.

    “I wouldn’t bet on it Starscream. Those Dinobots are tough. Even if we win it won’t be easy,” Bomb-Burst says.

    “Bomb-Burst, you underestimate the leadership and combat skills of Starscream. I am the leader of the Decepticons Megatron and Galvatron could only dream of being,” Starscream says.

    “Prove it then Starscream. I want to see what you’re made of,” Bomb-Burst says.

    “Oh I always do Bomb-Burst. Decepticons, the Dinobozos have been spotted. All Decepticons attack,” Starscream says as he and Bomb-Burst descend towards the Earth.

    Grimlock, Slag, and Scorn stampede in their dinosaur modes on a field next to a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Swoop circles overhead on thermals like a giant otherworldly condor. Paddles runs in his robot mode off of the cliff and transforms mid air before splashing down in the surf below. Some elephant seal bulls are fighting each other on the beach, their chests colliding in an explosion of sound and a splattering of sand, salt water, and blood. They both stop and stare at the mechanical plesiosaur before clumsily scooting away.

    “Why seals afraid of Paddles? Paddles love play in waves,” Paddles says.

    At this moment a few explosions shot from the ocean rock the beach around the seals and Paddles. The elephant seals crawl on the beach towards Paddles.

    “Decepticons one thing Paddles no like. No worries little seals. Me Paddles destroy puny Decepticons that cause big trouble,” Paddles says.

    At the same time Paddles gets attacked Starscream and Bomb-Burst send a barrage of missiles at the other Dinobots. Swoop’s wings get struck, but he still manages to fly up and face his attackers. Unfortunately, Starscream fires several homing missiles that hit their target. Swoop falls towards the Earth, and in response Grimlock transforms into his robot mode and catches the injured Swoop in his arms.

    “Swoop, you okay?” Grimlock asks.

    “Me Swoop still function, but not able battle or fly now. Need recharge,” Swoop says.

    “Dinobots, attack all Decepticons. Me Grimlock take Swoop to safe place,” Grimlock says as he runs off to find a shelter for Swoop to rest in.

    Starscream and Bomb-Burst swoop down and try to hit Grimlock as the Dinobot runs away. Slag transforms into a robot and fires his blaster at the Decepticon aircraft, which causes the pair to retreat.

    “Bomb-Burst, we must leave and regroup. Decepticons, continue the assault,” Starscream commands.

    Slag continues to shoot at Starscream and Bomb-Burst, allowing Grimlock to escape. Slag then transforms back into a Triceratops and charges down the cliff with Scorn. Paddles is already fighting an armada of Seacons by himself in the water. The two elephant seal bulls are ambling away from the battle, but their immense bulk keeps them from getting too far.

    “You not fight without Scorn, Paddles,” Scorn says as he leaps into the ocean.

    “Come join the fun Dinobot friends,” Paddles says as he rips apart a squid-looking Seacon with his teeth.

    “Me Slag no like water, prefer fight on land,” Slag says as he snaps the neck of a Nothosaurus Seacon in his beak.

    An endless diversity of Seacons attacks the three Dinobots wave after wave. Some resemble creatures found in Earth’s oceans today. Others resemble creatures that once teamed in the seas from when the Dinobots arrived on Earth and earlier. More Seacons resemble creatures found in the deep of alien worlds that humans would never recognize. A school of ammonite Decepticons fire torpedoes from their armed tentacles at Scorn and Paddles, but the Dinobots dodge the missiles and swim into the midst of their Seacon foes. Fearing getting eaten, the ammonite Decepticons withdraw into their tough shells. Scorn and Paddles try to bite through the armor, but even the Dinobots don’t have bites strong enough to crack the shells.

    “Ammonite Decepticons tough enemies. Me Scorn have idea Paddles,” Scorn says.
    “What that? Paddles have fun trying new ideas,” Paddles says.

    “Watch me,” Scorn says.

    Scorn swims around the ammonite Decepticons and one by one he lashes his tail at the withdrawn Seacons and launches them out of the water. The Seacons land on the beach and on the cliff next to the beach. Paddles follows suit and tosses the Seacons out of the water with his flippers. Some of the Decepticon ammonites try to crawl back to the ocean, but Slag roasts them alive in their shells with his fiery breath. Others get their shells broken when they hit the cliffs, and Slag thrusts his horns through the cracks and impales them. One ammonite Decepticon loses his shell and tries to crawl over some rocks, but the elephant seals notice him and try to crush him under their immense weight. Between a rock and several tons of testosterone-fueled elephant seal, the helpless Seacon gets splattered before the elephant seals finally escape the violence and go on their merry way.

    “Not bad for tiny water mammals,” Slag remarks.

    Despite having eliminated many Seacons, more Decepticons emerge from the depths and attack Scorn and Paddles. A school of energon-sucking lamprey Decepticons tries to latch on to the water-loving Dinobots, but the two Dinobots swim to shore and transform. Not even the mighty Dinobots want to have the energon sucked out of them.

    The persistent lampreys crawl out of the surf and inch towards the Dinobots. Slag roasts a bunch of them with his fire breath. Scorn slices them up with his sword, and Paddles impales a bunch of them on his harpoon. Pretty soon Paddles has enough impaled lamprey Decepticons to have a huge shish kebab roast, and the onslaught of the energon-sucking pests ceases.

    “Paddles make yummy lamprey shish kebab. Other Dinobots try?” Paddles says.

    “Me Slag love shish kebab,” Slag says as he turns up the heat on the Decepticons Paddles killed before eating them.

    “Me Scorn prefer nasty Decepticon energon vampires raw. Seacon sashimi very yummy,” Scorn says as he snaps up a few in his crocodile-like jaws.

    “Now Slag no more hungry. Must keep on destroying Decepticons,” Slag snarls.

    “Scorn still hungry. Scorn want yummy turtle soup right now,” Scorn says.

    “Speaking of turtle, here come bad Dinobot,” Slag says.

    Just above the surface of the waves a huge, slippery shell approaches the shore. Cybertronian barnacles are attached to its smooth surface. The huge Snaptrap hauls himself to shore and transforms into his menacing robot form. He stares at Paddles, Scorn, and Slag individually while wielding his barbaric sawfish sword.

    “This universe is not kind to those who are unable to adapt. I see how you have laid waste to many of my troops, but can you survive me? Time to see how adaptable you Dinobots really are,” Snaptrap says.
  18. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Part 9

    Beachcomber in his blue Jeep alternate mode speeds around a few highway corners in the rural California hills. His passenger Michael Bay cheers as if he is riding a theme park roller coaster.

    “This is a ton of fun. Thanks for the awesome ride Beachcomber,” Bay says while nodding his head in approval.

    “Don’t mention it Warpath. I just hope you’re not having too much fun. The Dinobots’ signals are close by, which means there’s probably a whole bunch of Decepticons coming our way, too,” Beachcomber says.

    “In that case, our little day trip is about to become even more fun,” Bay yells excitedly.

    “I’ll never understand how you enjoy battles so much,” Beachcomber says.

    “Hey, it’s nice to fight real Decepticons every once in a while after creating so many fights involving CGI Decepticons,” Bay says.

    “Well, Grimlock and company are now very close. Time to ditch the road,” Beachcomber says as he transforms and runs off with Bay into the surrounding forest.

    “How close are we?” Bay asks.

    “A few hundred meters this way. Do you hear that?” Beachcomber says.

    “Yes. I hear great big footsteps and the sound of massive tree trunks hitting the forest floor,” Bay says.

    Beachcomber and Bay walk towards the sounds they detect and witness Grimlock in his robot form laying Swoop down on the ground in a small clearing. Swoop looks beat up in his pterosaur mode.

    “Grimlock my old friend, how goes everything? Is Swoop okay?” Bay asks the mighty Dinobot.

    Grimlock turns towards Beachcomber and Warpath.

    “Me Grimlock think Swoop be okay, but first he need rest before Swoop fight Decepticons again. Starscream knocked Swoop out of sky, and me Grimlock bring Swoop here for Swoop’s safety. That you Warpath? You look like human now,” Grimlock says.

    “You guessed correctly. How did you know?” Bay says.

    “Me Grimlock have best smell of all Dinobots. Warpath may look like human now, but you always smell like explosions,” Grimlock.

    “That happens when it’s my job directing movies and occasionally blowing up Decepticons. Speaking of Decepticons, I’m itching to fight,” Bay says enthusiastically.

    “Decepticons not far. Me Grimlock take you there,” Grimlock says.

    “In that case, I’ll stay here and make sure no Decepticons find Swoop. Besides, I have something that should make him feel better,” Beachcomber says.

    “That sounds good to me Beachcomber. I’ll see you after the Dinobots and I wreck some Decepticons,” Bay says.

    Grimlock transforms into a metallic Tyrannosaurus and roars. Bay runs up the side of Grimlock’s leg and hops onto the Dinobot’s back. Bay looks as serious as ever as Grimlock runs out of Beachcomber’s sight.

    With Grimlock and Warpath gone, Beachcomber turns his attention to Swoop. Swoop lifts up his long neck and looks down his beak at the blue and grey Autobot.

    “What’s wrong with you my friend?” Beachcomber asks Swoop.

    “Starscream got me. Swoop want to fight, but me no think Swoop can,” Swoop says while trying to lift his wings up.

    “Well, you’re lucky I have just the thing to make you feel better. It’s my home made mixture of Morphobot root, energon mushrooms, and metals from both Cybertron and Earth. It will help boost your energon efficiency and the healing process. I started experimenting with some of the ingredients on Cybertron, but coming to Earth enabled me to perfect it,” Beachcomber says as he pulls out a jar of his healing substance.

    Beachcomber opens the lid of the jar and pours some of the viscous material down Swoop’s throat. Swoop remains still for a few minutes. Beachcomber looks on patiently, and his gentle smile never fails to leave his face.

    “Swoop not sure if I like taste of Beachcomber’s potion, but me Swoop feel better already. Me Swoop ready to fight Decepticons,” Swoop says.

    “Now Swoop, you should probably rest up a little before you go,” Beachcomber warns.

    “Swoop Dinobot. Dinobots always tough. Dinobots always fight,” Swoop explains.

    “I know you all like to fight Decepticons, but why now in your condition?” Beachcomber asks.

    “It not just that Dinobots like fighting. Swoop love to send Decepticons running, but Swoop love fighting with Dinobots together more. Not right if Swoop rest here and Dinobot friends fight Decepticons without Swoop. Come with Swoop, Beachcomber. Together we send message to Decepticons. Earth no need Starscream and other Decepticons,” Swoop says while leaping into the air and flapping his wings.

    “At the same time, if I spent so much time fighting, then I never would concoct a potion that made you feel better. We all have our place in the universe. By the way, I suppose I could go along for the ride, Swoop,” Beachcomber says.

    Beachcomber grabs Swoop’s right foot and swings onto Swoop’s back. Swoop ascends through the air and then flies off with Beachcomber to meet his Decepticon foes in battle.

    On the beach Scorn, Slag, and Paddles battle Snaptrap and his Seacons. Paddles tries to harpoon Snaptrap in the chest, but Snaptrap catches the harpoon and snaps it in his right hand.

    “You Dinobots are stuck in the past. Allow me to introduce you to more advanced weaponry,” Snaptrap says coldly.

    Snaptrap leans forward and aims the dual cannons on his back at Paddles. Both cannons hit their mark as Paddles goes flying into the seaside cliffs.

    Slag in his dinosaur mode is charging down the beach through a swarm of hermit crab Seacons and knocking them over like bowling pins. Unaffected by their missiles, he tramples the stragglers and impales the last one on his brow horns. Snaptrap is distracted by Scorn, so Slag uses the opportunity to charge Snaptrap from behind. While Scorn in his knight form and Snaptrap clash in a flash of metal blades, Slag tackles Snaptrap in the back. Snaptrap falls on the ground, his sawfish blade falling in the sand in front of him. Paddles manages to recover as he and the other two Dinobots present surround the Seacon leader.

    “You haven’t defeated me,” Snaptrap says as he gets up.

    “Stupid Decepticon turtle wrong. We Dinobots just destroyed all other Seacons. Now we need just destroy you,” Slag says.

    “Scorn think time to smash turtle shell, make Snaptrap crack. Make Snaptrap pay for betraying Dinobots long time ago,” Scorn says.

    “I had no choice but to abandon you guys on Earth. No Transformer can withstand Unibrow’s assault, and he had already destroyed much of Earth’s life forms. I had to abandon Earth for my own survival. Unibrow would have destroyed you all if Hummus had not shown up,” Snaptrap says.

    “Maybe so, but you no need join Decepticons and attack Earth now,” Paddles says.

    “The Decepticon movement is the only way for Cybertronians to survive in a violent universe,” Snaptrap says while striking his sword at Scorn. Scorn evades the strike, but Snaptrap is paralyzed from what he sees above him. The leader of the Dinobots, Grimlock, stands at the top of the cliff with Michael Bay on his back, and they both look pissed.
  19. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Here is the climax to "Superficial." After this there are two more parts, and then we move on to my favorite part of the Unibrow Trilogy, "Fandemonium!"

    Part 10

    Grimlock, Scorn, Paddles, Slag surround the Dinobot-turned-Decepticon Snaptrap on the wave-ravaged beach and seaside cliffs. Their metallic teeth glisten in the afternoon sun, and the looks in their eyes tell Snaptrap they mean business. Michael Bay hops off Grimlock’s back and slides down the rocky face of cliff and lands on the beach. Snaptrap looks defiant against his foes.

    “I had no choice but to abandon you millions of years ago, Grimlock. Today, however, I choose to destroy what Unibrow couldn’t,” Snaptrap says as he quickly fires his cannons at all of the Dinobots and lunges at Grimlock with his sawfish sword. Grimlock draws his sword and his axe and fights the Decepticon behemoth.

    The other Dinobots and Bay try to aid Grimlock in battle, but they are all knocked down into the sand by a number of missiles. Starscream and Bomb-Burst have returned with a convoy of Decepticon jets. Starscream transforms and lands on the grassy knoll above the cliff. Bomb-Burst and the rest of the Decepticons transform and stand around Starscream. They look down on the Dinobots and Bay like a flock of ravenous condors.

    “Foolish Autobots, how dare you even think you can survive my onslaught? I am Starscream, and this is my planet to rule. No Autobot, not even the Dinobots and Warpath, can withstand my rule,” Starscream gloats.

    “Starscream, my Dinobot friends here have laid waste to many of your Decepticons already. What makes you think they’re not finished? Besides, those missiles you just fired at us didn’t really cause what I would call ‘explosions.’ They were more like fire crackers. Now this is an explosion,” Bay says.

    Bay clenches his fists and fires off a huge explosion where the Decepticons are standing. A few of them are killed, and Starscream is knocked back a bit before he and the other Decepticons transform. They circle in the sky above and then fire some machine gun bullets and laser fire and missiles at Bay, but Bay manages to scramble over the top of the cliff, and the Dinobots turn their attention towards Snaptrap once more.

    “Come and get me Starscream,” Bay yells with his arms raised.

    Starscream transforms back into a robot and fires a few rockets at Bay. One of them hits the ground in front of Bay, and Bay leaps over the flames and hits Starscream in the face with one of his own trademark explosions. One of the Decepticon jets fires a few bullets at Bay, but Bay shrugs them off and blows up the jet. Bay then charges at Starscream, but Starscream shoots Bay point blank with a rocket, and the legendary Autobot goes down.

    “Is that all you got Starscream? I expected better from someone of your reputation,” Bay says as he crawls on all fours towards the Decepticon leader.

    “Warpath, your problem is you don’t know when to quit,” Starscream says.

    “You got that right,” Bay says while firing off another explosion at Starscream. “Kablam!”

    Starscream shakes off the damage and picks up the infamous film director.

    “You may not know when to quit, but I don’t know how to lose,” Starscream says threateningly.

    “Do your worst. I’m always able to throw down with you,” Bay says.

    Starscream is interrupted by a fireball that hits the ground behind him. The Dinobot Swoop with Beachcomber on his back flies into view. Starscream becomes frightened and drops Warpath.

    “Decepticons, deal with the flying Dinobot and his hippie friend,” Starscream says before transforming and taking off to fight in the air.

    Meanwhile, Grimlock and Snaptrap are battling on the beach below in their robot forms.

    “Your time is up Grimlock, and the rest of your team will follow you in death,” Snaptrap says.

    “No ugly Decepticon turtle. You wrong, and you soon be extinct, too,” Grimlock snarls as his axe gets knocked from his left hand by Snaptrap’s blade.

    “I’ll survive because I can rely on myself, unlike you Dinobots,” Snaptrap says.

    “We Dinobots survive long time and big battles and Decepticons and ugly Unibrow because we team, and we Dinobots watch for each other. You Snaptrap once mighty Dinobot like me Grimlock, but now you only have yourself and nasty Decepticon Starscream, and Starscream no trustworthy robot like we Dinobots. That how we Dinobots win and you lose,” Grimlock says as he slices off Snaptrap’s right hand.

    Snaptrap leaps to the ground and picks up his sword with his remaining hand. He then knocks away Grimlock’s sword with the dual cannons on his back. Paddles in his plesiosaur form then leaps from the water and grabs Snaptrap’s sword in his jaws. Scorn then whips Snaptrap with his massive tail, which sends Snaptrap to the ground. Finally, Slag charges the Decepticon and rolls him on the beach for a little bit before charring Snaptrap a little bit using his fire breath.

    “I must get out of here. Not even my fellow Dinobots can stop me,” Snaptrap says as he transforms and heaves himself into the ocean.

    Slag follows the robotic Archelon and nips at his rear right flipper with his beak. Paddles then gets hold of the other rear flipper, and Scorn bites the front left flipper. Grimlock transforms into a Tyrannosaurus and charges into the water towards Snaptrap.

    “Do you surrender yet? Me Grimlock nice Dinobot, let you live if you no longer fight me Grimlock and friends,” Grimlock says.

    Snaptrap thrashes about and manages to free himself. He then lunges at Grimlock with his sharp beak snapping. Grimlock has no choice but to open his mouth wide and close his jaws and teeth on the neck and head of Snaptrap. Snaptrap’s red eyes turn dark, and the Cybertronian barnacles on his shell fall off one-by-one in the water to go find a new spot to call home. Grimlock and the Dinobots look relieved and sad at the same time. Even if Snaptrap died as an enemy, he was still a former ally and friend so many ages ago. Snaptrap couldn’t let go of millions of years of hate for his former friends, but the Dinobots still felt saddened by his death.

    “Me Grimlock had no choice. Dinobots, let’s go. Must fight remaining Decepticons,” Grimlock laments.

    Up on the field above the cliffs Swoop is fighting an aerial battle against the Decepticons, while Beachcomber checks on Michael Bay.

    “How are you doing Warpath?” Beachcomber asks.

    “I’m fine. Thank you,” Bay says.

    “Do you want my special potion? I made it myself. It will help an Autobot feel better in no time,” Beachcomber says.

    “No thanks, I’m not into fancy herbal remedies and what not. However, I do appreciate your offer. You’re always a great friend and very helpful,” Bay says.

    “I’m happy to help any time, Warpath. I may not share your enthusiasm for fighting Decepticons, but not everyone is meant to be a warrior. Besides, I’m your friend no matter what, and I’ll always support you and my fellow Autobots,” Beachcomber says with a smile.

    “There’s nothing wrong with that. Right now, it’s time to end this battle,” Bay says as he marches towards the epicenter of the aerial battle taking place above.

    Swoop has downed several of the Decepticon jets. Now the metallic pterosaur focuses on Starscream. The two Transformers fly towards each other and nearly collide.

    “I’ll show how an ace pilot performs in the line of duty, Dinobot,” Starscream says while firing half a dozen homing missiles at Swoop.

    Swoop gets hit, but he manages to stay focused and sends a fireball Starscreams way. The fireball hits it mark.

    “Not bad for someone with such a low brain capacity, but this battle is over,” Starscream says as he transforms mid air.

    Starscream uses his robot-mode thrusters to maneuver through the air and land on Swoop’s back. He then fires a few rockets into Swoop’s back, causing the Dinobot to crash into the Earth as Starscream rides him like a surfer. Bomb-Burst flies nearby and lands beside his leader. Starscream stands triumphantly over Swoop, who struggles to move on the ground. Beachcomber and Bay approach the Decepticons and Swoop, and Beachcomber pulls out his blaster.

    “What are you going to do, Beachcomber? It’s not like you are a match against me. I just defeated a Dinobot, and I defeated your friend Warpath earlier. Besides, everyone knows how much you hate wars and violence,” Starscream says.

    “I’m standing up for my friends and fellow Autobots, that’s what I’m doing,” Beachcomber says.

    “Prove that I’m wrong about you,” Starscream says with an evil gleam in his eyes.

    At this moment the other Dinobots charge onto the field from the beach and cliff below; all of them are in dinosaur mode save for Paddles, and they charge past Beachcomber and Warpath. Beachcomber fires a few shots at Starscream, who is mentally stunned by the charging Dinobots. Starscream and Bomb-Burst fear for their safety and back away from Swoop.

    “We must get out of here,” Bomb-Burst begs Starscream.

    “I hate to admit it, but we’ve lost the battle. There’s no way even Starscream can deal with all of these monsters at once. Decepticons, retreat,” Starscream commands.

    Starscream and Bomb-Burst transform and retreat. They and the few surviving Decepticons fly away until the time their next phase of evil plans unfolds.
  20. Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

    Aug 24, 2013
    Trophy Points:
    Here's the penultimate Part 11! I hope everyone enjoys. Part 12 will come out tomorrow or Saturday, and then on to the conclusion of the "Unibrow Trilogy" in "Fandemonium."

    Part 11

    The Kardashians are smiling in front of the camera and a crowd of journalists in a conference room in Los Angeles. Knock Out is parked besides their table in his Pagani Huayra alternate mode.

    “Hello. As you certainly know, I am reality star and fashion designer Kim Kardashian, and these are my sisters Kourtney and Khloe,” Kim says to the camera as Khloe and Kourtney wave.

    “Unfortunately, we regret to announce that our normal reality programming will cease production, but we have an exciting announcement that we believe will make our true fans happy,” Kourtney says.

    “This new development will further our goal of world domination, and will satisfy our desire to be objects of worship by Earth’s populace,” Khloe says without a hint of sarcasm or deception in her voice.

    Everyone in the room is baffled and looks at each other. Television audiences around the world gasp in astonishment.

    “I’m sorry if that shocked some of you, but it is my pleasure to announce that with the assumed defeat of the Autobots, your planet of Earth is now under the control of the victorious Decepticons. Under the leadership of our glorious leader Starscream, the Decepticons will bring Earth to a previously unimagined level of slavery and desperation…oops, I mean freedom and prosperity. We, the Kardashians of Der Zor and Cybertron…sorry, I meant California, will now rule over you as Decepticon royalty and goddesses,” Kim says.

    The audience is now even more confused.

    “You’re making no sense. Are you on drugs? What the hell are Autobots?” a man in the audience asks.

    “You’re going to be our new rulers? A dead horse would make a better leader than you three,” says someone else.

    “I can’t believe I ever let my daughters watch your crappy show,” says a woman.

    A voice comes in from Knock Out’s radio.

    “Kardashians and Knock Out, this is your leader Starscream. The mission is aborted. We have no choice but to retreat. The Dinobots were too much for our soldiers to handle. I hope you haven’t started your little conference yet,” Starscream’s voice says as the whole conference room listens.

    “Oops. I guess we made our announcement a little prematurely. Sorry folks, but that was all a misunderstanding. We really aren’t your new rulers. We hope you aren’t mad at us and continue to watch our television shows,” Kim says without a lot of confidence.

    The audience is now really angry. They throw all kinds of trash at the reality stars.

    “No. This isn’t fair. What did we ever do to deserve this treatment?” Kim whines.

    Knock Out transforms as everyone backs away or runs out of the building and into the street.

    “Give me a break, lady. You deserve everything that has happened to you today,” Knock Out says.

    At this moment Prowl walks in the building, and he is followed by a dozen police officers. The people who remain in the room are in awe of what is going on.

    “Officers, arrest the Kardashian sisters. Knock Out, what are you doing here? Give me one reason to not take you to the slammer,” Prowl says.

    “Yeah, arrest those women. As for you Prowl, I don’t want my paint job scratched, but more importantly I want nothing more to do with the Decepticons. These stupid Kardashian sisters have given me a bad taste in my mouth. I wish we could send them back to Der Zor,” Knock Out says.

    “You’re such a jerk Knock Out. You’re the one who should be going to jail for the way you treat us,” Kim wails as an officer cuffs her.

    “Save it for the judge. The more you run your mouth, the more desperate you sound,” Knock Out says.

    “As much as I’d love to book you Knock Out, I think exceptions can be made for those who learn their lesson, and it seems like you’ve learned your lesson about rolling with Starscream’s Decepticons,” Prowl says while he pats Knock Out on the back

    “Well it’s not like Starscream and the Kardashians ever treated me nicely or respected my medical skills. At least Megatron and company could respect me as a part of the Decepticon movement. Boy, could I go for an energon brew right now,” Knock Out says.

    “Well, if we’re ever back on Cybertron we’ll have to buy each other some rounds. Just make sure you don’t drive around Iacon drunk,” Prowl says.

    “I think I can handle it,” Knock Out says with a smile.

    The human police officers escort all three handcuffed Kardashian sisters out of the building.

    “Good riddance, and make sure to throw away the keys,” Knock Out calls out to them.

    “Ugh. Do we really have to be incarcerated in a yucky human prison? On Cybertron we never would have been treated like this,” Kim Kardashian cries.

    “Ma’am, I really don’t care how they would treat you on Cybertron. You may be Decepticons, but you look human enough, so deal with it,” one of the human officers says.

    “Well Knock Out, if you want to drive with me and meet up with the other Autobots then you are more than welcome to join me,” Prowl says.

    “Count me in,” Knock Out says as both them run into the street and transform.

    A few hours later, the sun is setting over the Pacific. Knock Out and Prowl have joined up with Beachcomber, Michael Bay, and the Dinobots. Scorn is trying to clean some pieces of Seacon from in between his conical teeth, so Swoop is pecking at the small morsels and swallowing them.

    “Me Scorn thankful for fellow Dinobot Swoop,” Scorn growls.

    “Swoop happy to eat rotten Decepticon leftovers,” Swoop says.

    “Well, thanks to our Dinobot friends the Decepticons failed to take over Earth. Thank you very much,” Beachcomber says as he looks up at the towering reptilian robots.

    “I must admit, the Dinobots don’t go by the book, but boy do they get the job done,” Prowl says.

    “Yeah, it’s been a pleasure blowing things up with you guys. Anytime there are any Decepticons Warpath will happily fight alongside you Dinobots,” Michael Bay says.

    The Dinobots all roar and call in celebration.

    “Me Grimlock always happy to munch Decepticons. Me Grimlock thankful for Beachcomber helping Swoop feel better and also for Warpath’s big explosions. Grimlock love watch explosions,” Grimlock says.

    “Me Slag explode everything,” Slag snarls.

    “Paddles happy that Decepticons no more. Time to go play in surf,” Paddles says.

    “You Dinobots may have won the day, and the Kardashians may be in prison, but Starscream is always sneaking around and forging new alliances and cooking up new plans. I doubt we have seen the last of him,” Prowl says while looking deep in thought.

    “At least now you have one extra guy in case he does come back,” Knock Out says.

    “And for that, we are thankful. I always thought you never belonged in the Decepticons, Knock Out,” Beachcomber says.

    “Anyways, that is enough for one day. I need a ride to a bar to get a nice, cold beer,” Bay says.

    “I’ll take you there, Warpath, and this time there’s no Kim Kardashian to spoil a good time,” Knock Out says.

    The Autobots and Dinobots say their good byes until next time as Knock Out transforms. Bay jumps in the driver’s seat, and the two drive off. Beachcomber and Prowl follow suit and drive off, and the Dinobots run off to wherever they may roam.