There’s this thing called the elevator pitch - what it is, say you’re working at a big Hollywood film studio, and you’re taking an elevator ride to the top floor with a big name Hollywood executive - this is someone who decides what movies get made and what movies don’t (and yes I know it’s WAY more complicated than that but for the sake of this thread just pretend for a moment that the world is this simple).

And you have a movie idea that’s just dying to be heard.

And you love transformers.

And what a coincidence, you work in the Paramount building.

You know they can make a transformers movie, and you have about 30 seconds to pitch them a transformers movie that’ll get made.

So what do you say?

 

It's been almost two decades since the debut of Shrek. There's nostalgia for it. Now imagine a Transformers crossover with Ogrebots and Deshrekticons battling it out, all while Lord Farquaad has his own dastardly schemes for Duloc. They're Shrekformers. They have more layers than meets the eye, and so will this movie!

 

How about we ditch the idea of making any more live-action movies and go for a live-action series like The Mandalorian? It's gonna be about the youth of Megatron and origin of the Decepticons? Or perhaps femdom (not in the traditional way) movie with the female robot characters? Just kidding.

 

Why would that be live-action, though? Would it be people in costumes?

Just because the Mandalorian is good doesn't automatically mean its formula would work for Transformers.

 

A full-on animated feature, be it on Cybertron or Earth.

 

I want a live action Transformers cinematic universe set in Cybertron with one movie for every character to ever exist because I want character development. They will have the same action as the first four Michael Bay movies but without Michael on the project and none of his sexism, racism, stereotypical designs, violence, crude humor, drinking, smoking, kissing, punching, kicking, running, stealing, talking, walking, sprinting, and breathing. Oh, and please get Martin Scor-whateverhisnameis to direct and a minumum budget of 500 million dollars for each film.

 

That's the formula for satisfaction on the movie boards, though. "Just make it like [popular thing of the month that we'll forget about when the next cool thing comes out] and it'll be great."

 

Very true.

 

I want animated movies like Into the Spiderverse.

 

If they wanna cash in on 80's Nostalgia fine.

Full-on Animated Rock Opera version of the traditional TF story with just all-out insane visuals and 80's music.

Go. Nuts. Go. Wild. As. Possible.

 

Live action. Start fresh in the distant future. The Great Wars are over and humanity lost. Transformers have taken control of the planet, enslaving humanity. It happened so long ago, only a few people remember the oral tradition of the time before the machines. Mad Mad meets Brave New World.

Shared cinematic universe pitch: human / Transformer resistance is based in an ancient underground bunker once called "The Pit". (The original comic base of GI Joe.)

That's the Hollywood level thinking that almost got us a Disney-Touchstone movie starting Julia Roberts as Harriet Tubman. (It happened so long ago, no one would remember that Harriet was black was the studio President's rationale. Seriously.) of course it could have been worse. As a summer tentpole, Julia Roberts could have been trying to free the slaves from a giant f'ing spider.

 

If they want spread it to a larger audiance it should be live-action. If it's animated it's gonna be mostly geared towards children. And also a web-series gives more chance to explore the lore. A movie is just an hour and a half.

 

Ah, that whole ”animation is for kids” fallacy, hmm?

 

Animated prequel on Cybertron as '80s-style POW-rescue actioner set prior to Bumblebee.
Optimus Prime stand-alone as 'Shane' with giant robots, set ten years after Bumblebee.
Bumblebee 2 with Megatron using S7 to ambush the other Autobots on Earth, leading to Megatron vs. Bumblebee and the Dinobots (Warrior School).

In that order.

 

Now those actually fit with the premise of the thread. I remember you posting the middle one a while back.

Now for my elevator pitch:
Modern-day St. George and the Dragon meets Taken, with giant alien robots.

 

Depending on how many more floors there are, I'd probably cap it with:
Then back to a full TF movie with a three-way fight card between the 'Bots, Megatron and the Stunticons, and Starscream and the Combaticons.

 

"Remember that thread on TFW where I posted an idea for a hammy Nightbeat movie? No? Let me show you, then."

 

It's a fact. I'm not saying it should be, but it is.

 

Any evidence?

 

Saying something doesn't make it so.