That is why I'm glad to be single. I can't handle the pressure from being married or having a relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against people who wants to get married or having relationships. But it is just not for me.

But I had people to asked me do I like being alone and tell them hell yes.

Last year, I was talking to woman and she wanted a relationship with me and I just wanted to be friends. What she really wanted was to have a man to take care of her. Last I heard, she moved in with some guy and I'm happy for her.

 

By telling her you want a divorce, you already did break her heart.

Really? You didn't say 'I do' to those standard vows in front of a judge? I did, no church involved. Did you write your own vows then?

--Moony

 

Damn. This post floored the shit out of me. I too, very recently told my wife it's over. Married for 8 yrs. and have had numerous problems, mainly with her family, so Spartan Prime, I know all to well of the IN LAWS FROM HELL. We should swap stories. But oh yeah, back to Dark Convoys post, as much as I love my wife and I do, to death, that statement is SO true. I'm not sure if it can be worked out between us...but, you need to do what needs to be done. Good luck brother.

 

There's no shame in getting a divorce. Our society tends to glorify it while families can tend to put pressure towards it. People get married for all of the wrong reasons, which is understandable. Just don't get divorced for all the wrong reasons.

 

I'm sorry, this all just makes no sense to me whatsoever.

You want a divorce because your marriage thus far isn't what you expected a marriage to be?

That's insane. Nothing is ever going to be what you think it will. No meaningful relationship with any person will ever go by the book, so to speak.

I'm no married yet, but I can tell you that I went into my current relationship without any expectations. I'm sorry, but if you expect too much, you're likely going to end up disappointed. I've sure as hell expected a whole lot from pas relationships, and they went nowhere. This relationship of mine hasn't exactly been 100% smooth, but I try my damnedest to make her happy. If I don't, I try to do something else that will.

All that said though, maybe you two should have kept the relationship as it was longer, before getting married. I mean, I can date a girl for an amount of time. But if I can live with her for an amount of time, then hey, maybe a marriage can work. That's where I'm at in my relationship. Together for 2+ years, and we've been living together for the past 5 months now. Things look pretty good, in fact, better than they were prior to living together.

 

I know what distance can do to a relationship.

Sorry to hear man.

 

Marriage, your doing it wrong.

How can you only date for 7 months before getting married? Did you propose after a month? I mean doesn't it take like 6 months to book and prepare for a wedding?

I think divorce is a good option for the both of you. Next time don't rush into things, like big, important, life changing, hugely emotional decisions.

and on that note, enjoy your freedom. Sucks she broke your customs and figures. Hope you can fix them  .

 

This is why m wife and I dated for 2 years before getting engaged and lived together for 5 years before getting married. We already knew the ups and downs with each other  

Also, good luck dude.

 

Good time to live hard before all that midlife crisis stuff kicks in.

You can meet all kinds of people online if you don't get out much.
Go solo & get all your pride back.
Boobies ahoy !

 

Marriage is alot of work. But it is work that is worth it if done properly. I didn't get it for a long time. My thinking was, "I am supposed to be happy." But the truth is, with the vows you took, you are supposed to make your spouse happy. If you treat her/him with respect and love, they will do the same back to you which makes you happy. Sure, I don't want to do the dishes, but neither does she. I do them and in turn she does alot, like doing laundry and cooking. Alot of dudes I know get selfish and that's where all the problems start.

 

Great post.

 

There's your problems right there. Love is a choice. You have to make a conscious choice every single day to love your wife. You have to make the choice to put the "heart in it,", it's not something that's just going to happen. If you're unwilling to do that, then you will NEVER succeed in a relationship.

And if she's trying and doing a better job at it than you are, then there's obviously plenty more you can do to make things work. You just have to choose to. It won't be easy, no marriage will ever be easy, but if you want to be happy, you have to make the right choices.

Most of the time divorce is the coward's way out IMO.

 

It sounds like it may be for the best, especially if you have already tried couples counseling and things still aren't working. If either of you isn't doing everything you can to make it work, especially when you both knew the marriage was at a crisis point it's may very well be for the best that you both are allowed to move on.

I've been divorced and happily am taking the plunge once again in October...my second and hers as well...we took the time to make sure we were a great team before discussing marriage, went through some really rough times together and saw how we stood by each other. I have no doubts at all that this marriage will stand the test of time   Meanwhile I see my ex wife (we have a son together) and watch her continue to flounder and sabbotage her relationships. It makes me very sad to see, but I see how miserable we both would have been if we had stayed together "no matter what". I'll echo the sentiment that marrying after just 7 months just doesn't give a couple enough time to know who they are, and who they can be together.

 

Agreed with what Kickback says. If she's not happy and you're not happy, then divorce. Find someone who you're more compatible with. If you want to give it another shot and try to work things out with her thats good too. Either option has no right or wrong. Best of luck mate  

 

I'm in the middle of a messy divorce right now, we were married almost 14 years and had 4 children together, and to put it simply, I couldn't take her shit any more and she was making me miserable to the point where I was nearly non-functional, so I had to leave and start over.

It was the single hardest thing I ever did in my life.

 

Love is not a choice. I didn't choose to love my wife. I didn't wake up one day and say "I think I'll fall in love with her today". It just happened.

 

ive seen my sister in law treat her navy guy like dirt for years. start new there are other chicas out there. best way to get over someone is to get under someone else ream: hang in there bro

 

I think people who go into relationships looking for "love" are setting themselves up for disappointment. Love is a great thing, but a relationship needs more than that, you really just need to be able to tolerate someone, you can love them all you want but if you can't tolerate them then there is a problem.

Back to the OP, he can love his wife and the person she is, but if you can't tolerate what they do and how they act you aren't going to be able to co-habitate.

 

Just hope your keeping your head up man. If you do end it, do it with grace, to spare any embarassment when you look back.