I'm so sorry ILD.

 

The final amnio results will tell us, but because there is no history in the family of any defects. We are hoping it's just a random chromosome accident. The amnio has 3 parts, the first results shows you what the baby has, then after 10 days they can grow the cells and tell you what caused it. I don't remember what the last part is, because it doesn't pertain to us so we haven't really discussed it.


Thanks everyone, I have never been so emotionally attached to anything in my life. I just can't believe it has to end like this.

 

Just got home from a three hour ice skating session with "Lin". Good news: neither of us fell. Bad news: neither of us are going to Disneyland. Meh news: neither of us can really walk since our skates didn't fit, nor can we feel our hands since we didn't wear any jackets to the indoor skating rink >_<

 

But did you ask her outright about your relationship? Because that bit is key.

 

Sorry to hear that.

Just remember, after you guys get all your testing sorted out, you can always adopt. My mother was adopted and one of my best friends is currently going thru the process since she is unable to have children. You raise a child, its yours whether you "birthed" it or not 

So there is always hope, just not always the first choice you want.

Besides, I would not be here to spout my wisdom if my mother was not adopted 

 

I feel alone all the time-thats b/c I am. i see everyone at work getting engaged, getting married, being happy, etc... and all I do is work 80 hours a week on salary and get worked to death. I can't meet anyone and have no luck with women. I am 38 and I see working myself to death for average wages as my only result in life. Yes, the owner of the company knows damn well that his company hinges on what I do and everyone knows that a lot of the company survives on what I do but I am sick and tired of being the help and not winning one everyone else is.

Pretty girls here at the office can get any guy they want but homely guys like me can't get anything and I keep getting buried here. I am about ready to baker act myself or have a nervous breakdown. I want to fucking die. I am sick or being alone and despite trying to put myself out there to a prospective mate I think God is taunting me by having every women I court turn me down,. fuck god then,.,

i have prayed and prayed for a wife and companion and god has pissed in my face and laughed about it. i have been alone my whole life and no woman has ever loved or cared for me. my mom left me when I was a baby, my grandmother was a drunk who called me a stupid kid all of my youth, and i was an awkward, socially inept teen as a result. I have challenged god to help me but i am beginnning to think everyone else is right that god does not exist or simply exists for certain people.

i am too despondent to go on. if i could kill myself know i would. i want to throw myself in traffic and end my emotional pain....

 

Oh God, I am so sorry, ILD   My fiancee and I have a 6 month old daughter and this is my constant fear for her... That some health issue will crop up, or something. Every day I fear that, so I can only imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you...

 

So sorry ILD  

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. Been in that place mentally a few times myself, and it's not a great place to be. My first and foremost suggestion would be to get yourself out of your rut before tackling a relationship, as a more positive outlook on life can do wonders for your personal confidence. Do you currently have any hobbies that require you to go out? If not, are there any clubs etc. near to you that you could join?

I'm also 99% sure that from the sounds of your post you're not really enjoying your job. Is there good employment in the area, somewhere else your skills would be more appreciated? Or, if your boss does realise what a valuable contribution to the company you are, could you negotiate for lower hours?

With regards to dating, you've specifically mentioned the "pretty" girls in the office - forgive me for asking, but are you just going by looks when considering those around you for dates? Because if you are judging by appearances, you're not really giving yourself a wide enough dating pool; and also, we pick up on that sort of thing.

Finally, if you are having suicidal thoughts, please consider speaking to someone professionally, or even place a call to an organisation like the Samaritans if you just need someone to vent to.

 

The problem is that I am pretty damn valuable to my employer-it is just that the company is growing and growing well and I am a BIG part of it but he thinks by treating me well and being nice to me that it is ok to just bury me over and over. i want to push back but i can make good money one day at this place if I can just keep on. I just wish a woman would take an interest in me is all and come talk to me and pursue me instead of ignoring me....

I just want to be needed by someone. Sorry but God made men that way. He made men to want to be needed by a woman and since God hardwired men to go after woman instead of the other way around, well, you get the picture. Everything seems to go so easy for all of my colleagues and everything is the opposite for me....

i just want out of what my life is....if god can work miracles why has he bypassed me my entire life ?

 

Perhaps with your employer it's time to start putting your foot down and taking the time you need for yourself. The more you capitulate to everything he says, the more he will expect you to in future. Little things at first, don't blow up all at once, but small acts of defiance can usually build up your confidence into trying for more. It sounds as though you don't put yourself first in a lot of situations.

With regards to dating, unfortunately I'm not religious or a theologian so I can't really answer from a religious perspective, but from my experience a woman is just as likely to go after a man as a man is a woman. If you're active in your faith, is there perhaps someone at your church you could talk to about this?

 

There's no moral debate to be had here; you make the best choice that you can for the child no matter how that turns out. I'm so sorry that your baby has so many problems and you have to face such a tough situation.

 

ILD, i can't begin to think how things are going on in this situation for you.
nothing i can say can help make you feel any better.
we as your friends will have you in our thoughts.

 

I can fully understand how hard it is to date when you work all the time. It's difficult for me to even ask a woman out because I think "when am I even going to have time to meet her?" However I do ask women and go out from time to time. I have met some interesting women, and some pretty horrid women. Heck, I've got a date this Sunday, if she's up to it (she just had surgery last Tuesday, but wants to see me bad).

However, from your post I do not think that this is your main issue. It sounds like you've got some serious issues with depression, and self image. If you want to find someone, you've got to get through those issues FIRST, before you even consider dating. If you don't like yourself, how in the world can you expect a woman to like you? I'd seriously consider getting some help for those issues from a medical professional.

 

So if you can't kill yourself, what are you going to do about it?

 

I indirectly got my answer. It's friendzone, and I'm okay with it.

 

You have doomed yourself here with the "FZ" statement.

 

Agreed. But at the same time "there ain't no such thing". (Imagine that with a Scottish accent)

If you're in a relationship are you also not your partners friend? You only see yourself as being "friend zoned" if you assume that there's going to be a relationship, and that she's stopping it from happening. It's one of those self entitled farty-phrases/words that irks me to no end.

 

Then tell me, what's a better word for what I'm in? From what I've gathered, she's not pursuing a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship.