This is a weird one to be sure:

Obi-Wan Kenobie the Patterson Cut: 7.5/10

It's a fan-made cut of the Obi-Wan Kenobi series. Apparently the story goes that the Obi-Wan series was originally supposed to be a movie but then after the failure of the Solo movie they changed it to a streaming TV series. In this edit he removes all the filler scenes that made the 2 hour movie script into an 8 hour mini series there by making it into a movie again. He also moved some of the scenes around. And honestly I think it works pretty well. I watched it last night and found it much easier to consume than the stretched out series was while still hitting all the right notes.

 

It was, but the original film had an entire different concept. Yes we still would have seen a broken Obi-Wan hiding away on Tatooine, but the villain was said to actually be a Tusken Warlord who was amassing tribes together to take out enitre settlements and was now preparing to strike Mos Eisley and all nearby farms.

So Obi-Wan was going to be conflicted with hiding to protect Luke or reveal himself to also protect Luke at the risk of his own safety and trauma.

 

The thought of Obi-Wan Kenobi with his lightsaber and force powers going against a bunch of rudimentary sand people with sticks and dusty old rifles doesn't sound like a fair fight to me.

 

Apparently there was going to be A LOT of them.

 

Jedi don't really fight fair.

 

Reported for being a Sith!

 

Yup sounds like a classic terrible script play,

Producer 1 - "The script reads like crap and I think we're running a little short!"

Producer 2 - "Have all the women take their tops off!"
 

 

Shazam 2
Was dreading this one seeing as how aggressively bad the first Shazam movie was (basically the only DC movie I don't have in my collection) but this was a nice treat. It was very funny and a lot of fun. Plus, unlike the hollow first film, it had heart and I actually felt something. Obviously it is no Wakanda Forever or anything earth shattering as that but solid all around.
7.5/10

 

A strategy that worked for every 80s horror movie ever

 

Air 9/10

One of the best (non) sports movies I've seen. Acknowledging that this movie is only loosely based on true events, watching how the Jordan 1--a shoe, along with the player it was made for, that created a paradigm shift in sports and culture--came into being was fascinating. The performances were outstanding, and that soundtrack...



The opening sequence demonstrated why 1984 was arguably THE best year of the decade.

 

Wonder Woman 2
Uh…. Ehh….. 6.5/10?
Movie starts with WW foiling some common thieves in a mall that felt more cheesy than anything. And then it’s a solid HOUR before we see her in costume again.
The interesting settings of part 1 were followed up with visually boring city & office locales.

Flying through the air looked painfully fake half the time. The wish-making thing didn’t make much sense & went way off the deep end by the 3rd act.

I didn’t think Cheetah looked bad, despite hearing horror stories about bad cgi and all that. But I didn’t mind.

I liked that Max had a moment of redemption. His big moment felt more tragic than when WW gave up Steve.

I don’t know. I wanted to like it, but it’s average at best.

 

The Super Mario Bros. Movie - 8/10

If I were to rate this movie in terms of pure quality detached from any nostalgia or love for the character, I'd probably give it a 7. I thought this movie was exactly what it needed to be. Really don't think it deserves a 56% on Rotten Tomatoes. It wasn't a masterpiece by any means, but it also wasn't 'objectively' bad in terms of having unlikable characters, a confusing story, or poor cinematography. Kind of wonder if the rotten score might reflect critics' bias against Illumination more than anything.

On a personal level, I had a blast. I wouldn't even consider myself a Mario superfan (I've only played maybe 4 Mario games and never completed them), but I've played enough to pick up a lot of easter eggs and references. And those easter eggs thankfully weren't too in-your-face or distracting. I just thought the movie was an overall good time, every sequence was super fun. They did a good job incorporating stuff from the games into a coherent story.

Thankfully there wasn't any equivalent of the boring real-world stuff in the Sonic movies. Which is ironic considering this also has a wedding scene and some stuff that takes place in the "real world". But here it actually felt like part of the story, and wasn't just an excuse to save budget by using human actors (since everything in this movie is animated).

I'd say this is easily Illumination's best movie since the first Despicable Me. Minions 2 was enjoyable, but this felt like something the whole family could enjoy, while Minions 2 felt mostly kid-oriented. Like, even the animation here was really complex and detailed. Illumination really has something good going here, and I hope they can pull off some strong sequels. But you don't have to grade it on a scale against the other Illumination movies to have a good time here.

As for complaints, my only big one is that I feel like they may have tried to work in too many different ideas, and some of the sequences could/should have been saved for a sequel or spinoff. Like, Mario Kart probably could have been the focus of a whole sport/racing movie. This honestly should have just been called "Mario", and "Mario Bros" should have been a sequel where Luigi gets equal focus (he has a really passive role for most of this movie).

Overall I really enjoyed Mario Bros and would definitely give it a recommendation, especially if you have kids or grew up with the games. There's a little something here for everyone, and I have a hard time imagining anyone walking away feeling like this disrespected the games or character or anything.

 

Trust me. Politics, agendas, and even cast hate is the reason why critics are what they are today. I stopped listening to them long time ago and even recently they admitted to giving certain ratings so that they could continue to get exclusive access. So I wouldn't lose sleep over this because this is one film that was done really well I felt and its killing in the box office right now. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it hit Top Gun Maverick BO level. I give it a 8/10 as well and only wished it was a big longer. The problem with these some of these critics is that they don't do their homework and they got upset at the whole Bowser/Mario and Peach story, but it dates all the way back to 1992's Super Mario Adventures. Not to mention, Super Mario Odyssey revived this concept as well. But like I said, agendas which I won't dwell much before I get some kind of warning. See how the internet is blasting Grace Randolphs review. She really had that coming because she really sounds ignorant. Now before anybody goes, yeah, but you got to play the games or read the comics to understand. This ain't new. Like how I had people ask me how on earth does Carnage in the Venom flicks get defeated by sound? I tell them, that's one of his weakness in the comics so that is how it is. But people just want to go by what is shown in the film and criticize what was given rather than trying to understand and research the source material. Let's not forget it was also made for the fans as well.

 

I honestly don’t think you need to know any Mario lore or do extra research to get what’s happening in this movie. It’s all right there for the audience.

 

For the most part I agree. There are many YTubers out there compiling some of the complaints given by the critics and many are simply laughable. I just saw another youtuber named Moist Charlie clips tear down critic reviews. Let's just say, I'm glad I really don't listen to the critics anymore because Super Mario Bros was a fun film.

 

Almost forgot:

Super Mario Bros: 8/10
Was smiling damn near non-stop the entire time. Could’ve used more Luigi, but the movie was still a lot of fun.

 

Glory (1989) - Chuck Norris/10

 

Along Came Polly - 9/10

It is still one of the funniest movies ever.

 

Playing catch-up a little here!

Training Day - 7/10
Denzel being Denzel; bad guy version. Hawke being Hawke. Boom. Good, entertaining stuff. Marks off for one of the most telegraphed and ridiculously coinicidental Chekhov's Guns I've ever seen, and a sort of oddly stuttered ending that feels like a prosthetic.

But a fun watch anyway.


Riders of Justice - 8/10
Mads Mikkelsen teams up with a motley crew of misfits to take on a criminal biker gang to get revenge for a train accident that killed his wife.

At once both darkly serious and farcically funny, the two tones just somehow meld brilliantly together and the whole thing is tremendous fun. There's a genuinely great odd couple vibe to him and his team, in every combination, and the whole thing just has a really sparky chemistry all the way through. Mikkelsen is absolutely outstanding in the lead role, too.


Hidden Figures - 9/10
Excellent true-story film about the little-known roles three black women played in the NASA space race in the 1960s
Really well done, and the three leads were fantastic. Definitely worth taking the time to watch. Only loses a point as I feel it probably went a bit gentle on the sort of racism they really would have experienced, but I guess that's down to target audience as much as anything else.


Prisoners of the Ghostland - 5/10
I don't know what the hell I just watched, but it was beautful to look at all the same.
Sono has a real flair for the visual; it's like if Wes Anderson embraced the darkness after a Mad Max marathon.

But narratively? I couldn't really tell you what was going on here. So visually a fun, fun ride (and Nic Cage is clearly having lots of fun - "I'll karate chop you! Hai-f*ckin'-yah!!!") but also something of a confusing mess in terms of story.

So it gets my standard issue 5/10 for a film that clearly has merit to it, but I just don't quite understand. Maybe if I revisit it in future I'll get a better grip on it!


The Truman Show - 8/10
A classic, and amongst Carey's best work. Well-crafted, imaginative satire with a strong cast and a clever approach to the topic.
Always an enjoyable watch.