Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by VaderPrime1, Jun 25, 2011.
did i miss something?
I'm going for a third time on tuesday. I love it that much.
yeah, I hear ya. Shockwave didn't even transform, at all. That kinda bummed me out. I would've rather had him without the snake, and just have him tear up part of Chernobyl, and he could've climbed up that building all King Kong style to tear shit up. but i didn't get a chance to direct these movies... oh well.
I finally got around to seeing Transformers: Dark of the Moon today. Now before I give my own thoughts on the third and final installment of the Transformers movies, I need to get a few things out of the way first.
Those of you who know me know that I dislike the Michael Bay movies with a passion, especially since Revenge of the Fallen that came out two years ago. When I watched that movie for the first time, I had hoped that it would be just as good as the first movie, if not better. As it turns out, I was disappointed and let down big time by a man who claims to be a director, but really can’t direct his way out of a moldy sandwich. I still stand by that statement, and I’ll continue to do so for as long as I live. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; the man cannot direct…AT ALL. He can only provide explosions, which are the only things that are good about him; he knows how to blow shit up, and that’s about it for him. What he should have been was a special effects consultant; then maybe he would be a better person. But Michael Bay isn’t the only person I place the blame on.
What really irks me about the movies are the fans who defend them, giving out the same, asinine excuses such as “It did really well at the box office”, or “it’s an action-flick, what are you expecting, Shakespeare”, or “it saved the franchise”. I’m just getting sick of hearing the same thing over and over again whenever I try to explain why I don’t like the Michael Bay movies. First of all, a movie that does well at the box office does not excuse it for being terrible. Secondly, no, I’m not expecting Shakespeare. I expect a decent action flick, but with something called “plot.” A plot, or story, is what drives a movie. If the plot is a mess, then the movie can’t work, and as a result, becomes a train-wreck.
Finally, the most obvious excuse: “It saved the franchise and brought it back into the mainstream of pop culture.” I’m willing to admit that, thanks to Michael Bay, the Transformers are now more well-known, and seeing TV shows mention them always puts a smile on my face. But he brought them back the wrong way. Because of the jumbled messes that were the plots for the three movies, the humans having more screen-time than the title characters themselves (the movies are called TRANSFORMERS, right?), the pitiful acting, the little characterization the Transformers themselves got, Optimus Prime and the Autobots being the most aggressive incarnations of the characters we’ve come to know and love, the racial stereotypes, and the lowbrow toilet and sex humor that only Michael Bay finds funny, people will remember the Transformers movies for those, and more. To quote myself for when I reviewed Revenge of the Fallen:
Most of what I’m going to say are basically what Spoony said in his review (http://spoonyexperiment.com/2011/06/29/vlog-6-29-11-transformers-bark-at-the-moon/), and what Topless Robot said in his Transformers 3 FAQ (Topless Robot's Transformers 3 FAQ - Topless Robot). If you don’t like what I have to say, then don’t read on, and go do something else. And once again, I was lucky enough to type notes down on my iPhone during the movie so I can have them needed to write this review.
With that said, my thoughts on Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
-Mirage/Dino. I’m glad his Italian accent isn’t…well, stereotypical. It’s funny, because I was kind of hoping for a Mario-esque voice. “Eet’s-a me, Miragio!”
-You figure that, since Que looks like Einstein, he’d speak in a German accent. Instead, he actually sounds in some way like G1 Wheeljack, with the low, raspy voice Chris Latta used. Nice touch.
-No Skids and Mudflap!
-Laserbeak is BRUTAL. He kills off this one guy and his whole family, very chilling. Even better, he kills off Ken Jeong’s character! No more annoying character put in the movie solely to be annoying!
-Great to hear Leonard Nimoy voicing Sentinel Prime.
-I wish there was more dialogue in the scene where Optimus and Sentinel talk to each other about what’s been going on.
-Nice scene of Ironhide and Sideswipe fighting the Dreads.
-Last hour of the movie was surprisingly well-done. Had Transformers 3 been just that last hour, it would have been much more well-received by critics.
-Wheelie and Brains die.
-Sam complains that despite saving the world, his life sucks and he can’t get a job…despite the fact that he lives in a damn good apartment, got a medal from the President, and has a Victoria’s Secret model for a girlfriend. Dude, your life rocks, quit bitching.
-Sam’s parents? Oh no. I was REALLY hoping that they wouldn’t appear at all in this film. And why are they wearing green jumpsuits in the first scene that they’re in?
-It’s never explained where Optimus gets his trailer from. It just shows up out of the blue, and no one ever bothers to explain it throughout the movie.
-Shockwave’s first appearance when the scene switches to Chernobyl, and…he just says “Optimus” and then he and the Driller just run away. Why? It’s just Optimus Prime and some humans. He’s a Decepticon with a cannon for a hand and a big freaking drill worm monster, versus one Autobot and a bunch of humans. I think our Decepticon cyclops can take them all on.
-Sam’s interviews before the one with John Malkovitch are just painful to watch. This was the second time in a Transformers movie that I actually cringed in my seat.
-Why is a big name actor like John Malkovitch in this movie? When I heard him say “WTF to that”, I facepalmed. Just the fact that he’s even in this movie and acting like a moron throughout the movie probably put a large dent into his career. Bay must have spiked the poor man’s coffee before they filmed his scenes.
-Mirage is indeed named Dino. Wasn’t Nelson just messing with us with the whole Dino name thing, and his name would be called Mirage in the movie? What happened here?
-Also Wheeljack is named Que. Don’t tell me Mercedes nerdraged from Hasbro using their car in the movie too, like with Dino and Ferrari. Is it really that hard for Hasbro to name their characters the names they were going to name them with?
-Who the hell is that weird tiki head robot when we see Megatron in Africa? I think I’ll answer my own question: who cares?
-Soundwave still has his Dr. Claw voice, but still no vocoder filter, and a mouth. I hate to be a Geewhunner for a moment, but Soundwave with a mouth just doesn’t work for me.
-Why was it necessary for Laserbeak to turn into a human-sized pink Bumblebee if he was just going to kill the guy anyway? Kind of pointless.
-Ken Jeong as Jimmy Wang. My reaction to his entirety in the movie: ಠ_ಠ. Also, this. Deep Wang. DEEP WANG. Dear God, it’s the scene from ROTF where Sam’s mom got high off of pot brownies all over again! No, seriously! Didn’t Bay say that the shitty humor would be gone? I guess now what he said was a lie. A big, annoying, lie. And now I’ll have nightmares about Ken Jeong’s junk, along with John Turturro’s junk and ass. For fuck’s sake, Michael Bay, get it through your thick skull: this humor DOES NOT WORK in a movie. Only third-graders will laugh at this; everyone else will groan and wish for something better, myself included. At least Ken Jeong’s character, annoying that he is, dies a few minutes after…that. And his death will be the good dream I’ll have after waking up from the nightmare that was his entirety in the movie.
-Sam really needs to stop screaming like a pregnant woman.
-Why did Ratchet get a new paint job? Oh boy, something that’s never explained!
-Lennox, I didn’t need to know what the Matrix of Leadership was when Optimus used it to revive Sentinel Prime. Exposition land, folks!
-Speaking of the Matrix, I thought the Fallen took it right after Optimus was revived and put it in the sun harvester. Did Optimus just grab it offscreen after he killed the Fallen and wounded Megatron? Looks like we have...something that’s not explained.
-Ironhide dies. So long, Ironhide, I’ll always remember how…you would just shoot at stuff. Really, I wish I could care about this, but I don’t. And neither does everybody else in this movie. He gets shot by Sentinel Prime, and then he rusts to death. Again, I wish I could care about his death, but unfortunately, no character in the movie mentions his death, and it’s never brought up again. Wow, the Autobots are assholes!
-It’s just silly how Sentinel Prime, from what little introduction he’s given, just heel-turns within seconds and kills off Ironhide, pretty much saying “LOL Sorry guys, but I need to save our home planet, even if it means team-killing!” All he needs is a longer mustache, a monocle, and a top hat.
-Sam’s parents…good God, just make these two go away. I don’t want to hear about dick sizes.
-So, the Decepticons had an entire army hiding on the moon for 50 years…why the hell didn’t Megatron and the Decepticons use it when they were looking for the Allspark, or the Sun Harvester? That would have helped them defeat the Autobots and the humans the first two times! Jeez, these Decepticons suck.
-One of the Decepticons scans a WM garbage truck. Why? It’s a full-scale Decepticon invasion, I don’t think they would need alternate modes if they’re going to take over the Earth in plain sight. Unless “Wreck-Gar” there wants to run over humans, I see no need.
-Anyone else thinking Soundwave has a fetish with tentacles? Oh right, it’s just Michael Bay’s dick doing the thinking for him. Wrong head, idiot. Wrong head.
-Instead of being smart and saying no to Sentinel Prime when he wants the Autobots off Earth, they decide to be cowardly idiots and do as he demands. Even stupider, Wheelie (as he’s being hauled off), says quite clearly that it’s a Decepticon trap. NO! REALLY? I never would have guessed! I can’t believe I’m actually rooting for the Decepticons, since the humans in this movie deserve to die for being so flipping stupid! Especially McDormand’s character! But wait, it gets worse! When the humans do find out that it was a trap, they can’t believe they fell for it, and react in shock. My reaction to their reaction: ಠ_ಠ I just wish my movie theater could serve alcohol; I needed some gin at that point.
-I just realized something: it seems as though the government never really bothered to cover up the existence of the Transformers since the end of the first movie at all. It’s like they just went and said “Fuck it.”
-Found an error! They said when they were getting the Autobots off the Earth that there were nine of them. Well, I counted, and there are eleven: Optimus, Sideswipe, Bumblebee, Ratchet, the three Wreckers, Wheeljack, Mirage, Wheelie, and Brains. It looks like Bay didn’t complete his math classes again.
-How can Starscream easily destroy a Cybertronian spacecraft with just missiles?
-So the Decepticons arrive en masse and then…we actually start seeing humans get killed, onscreen, by Decepticons. I know these movies are supposed to appeal to a wider audience, but…this whole scene is just depressing, and at the theater I was at, some kids started crying.
-Also, buildings getting destroyed and toppled over, especially when the Driller snakes its way up the building with Sam and Carly inside and destroys it. Gee, this definitely in no way provokes 9/11 at all whatsoever.
-Nor does the scene where the Xantium getting destroyed by Starscream provokes the Challenger shuttle explosion.
-Nor the Chernobyl scene…yeah, you can tell where I’m going with this.
-Skulls and skeletons and corpses strewn about Chicago. You know, for kids! *Sarcasm*
-And Optimus Prime comes back, and says the one line that breaks me. He says “We will kill them all.” This line right here convinces me that this is not Optimus Prime, but a psychopathic Autobot who killed Optimus Prime, and then took on his likeness. The reason I say this is because this is the most out-of-character moment for any Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime would never want to kill so savagely and bastardly. Don’t believe me? Play the ROTF game and one of the lines he says when you play as him, “I take no pleasure in what must be done.” Why can’t this Optimus be more like that Optimus? Have an Optimus who shows constraint, not one that will gleefully go around killing Decepticons like the very enemy he’s supposed to defeat.
-The Autobots hid under the ship? And they knew that the Decepticons would try to destroy the ship? Then why the hell did they do nothing while the Decepticons try to take over Chicago? Looks like the scene with the shuttle was pointless. Quite a few pointless moments we have in this movie, huh?
-Starscream dies. He never bothered to usurp Megatron as leader of the Decepticons, so I don’t care about his death either.
-Brains almost said “clusterfuck.” Kind of like the movie at this point, but I do agree with him that this is indeed that. Real nice for the kids, Bay. *Sarcasm*
-Did Leonard Nimoy, who’s voicing Sentinel Prime, really say *the line* from Star Trek II? ಠ_ಠ
No, ಠ_ಠ is not good enough! You can never, EVER, have a character from a Bay movie say a line from a much better sci-fi film! Spoony’s right, now the quote’s lost all meaning!
Okay…sorry, just…dammit, I was really hoping they didn’t have Nimoy say any Spock lines as Sentinel Prime.
-Goodbye, Que, I’ll…oh you know the rest. Don’t care about him either, his death’s never brought up, yadda yadda yadda.
-Same goes for Barricade (poor TRANS+CRAZY) and Shockwave.
-Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots…being foiled by tangled wires.
-So during this whole battle/CG demo reel, Megatron’s just chilling in an alleyway. Why’s he doing that? Shouldn’t he be helping Sentinel kill Optimus?
-So Optimus Prime kills off both Megatron and Sentinel Prime. I could see Sentinel Prime, but Megatron should have been spared. The movie ending should have been like the novel ending, where Megatron calls a truce, and leaves to rebuild Cybertron. Instead, we get Optimus Prime mercilessly killing Megatron, ripping his spine and head out with his axe. And then he just ups and shoots Sentinel Prime, complete with Sentinel saying “No, Optimus!” Again, this is way out of character for Optimus, but I just don’t care anymore.
-The actual Buzz Aldrin’s there. ‘Kay…
-Laserbeak sounds a lot like Starscream.
-I was going to make this a con, but it turns out that if the Matrix of Leadership can revive Optimus Prime, I guess it can revive Sentinel Prime as well.
-Why does Simmons have a gay German butler/hacker/ninja guy? What’s his deal? And why isn’t that guy in his own movie?
This movie was just terrible. Not as bad as ROTF, but close. The acting isn’t any better, the Decepticons are wimps (despite the fact that, you know, they had a whole army hiding on the moon that Megatron could have just summoned the first time), the story is a mess, and in all honesty…I just don’t care anymore. Why? Because the only thing that I loved about this movie was the fact that this was the last one; no more will we get another one of these atrocious films. And we definitely won’t be seeing Michael Bay shit on the Transformers franchise ever again (though unfortunately, he’s forever in the Hall of Fame). Maybe sometime in the near future, if we get a reboot, we get someone who knows how to direct. And maybe…just maybe, Transformers can work as a film.
That and I won’t have to use this dumb emoticon ever again. ಠ_ಠ It’s been fun, movie franchise, but now you’re done. Oh, and Bay, let the door hit you on the way out. Please.
you really took notes during the movie? then how did you pay attention to the movie to understand it? also you contradict yourself with Lazerbeak being BRUTAL and killing Wang totally okay, but dead humans later is a bad thing... i'm sure i could go back through each comment, and give my opinions, but i'm tired and don't feel like wasting my time.
sorry you didn't have a good time, seems like most people were able to not nitpick every detail and enjoy the fun ride.
i get a lot of some points ppl are trying to make and opinions but sometimes some just get way too deep into it. this is not referring anyone particular.
and still blaming bay for everything is insane. hasbro/tak make transformers, they allowed and approved designs, scripts and use of the transformers for the movies. love how ppl think if someone else was to do the new movies if any cant or wont be any worse.
it was a movie, it was for me fun, and sure its fun to analyze and pick at it because we are the fans raging over every little bit.
some ppl here still feel some sort of entitlement and deserve better since we are fans and "know" how it should be.
these movies are not made for just fans.
Can someone tell me how optimus had the matrix...didn't that explode with the harvester?
The movie was definitely better than RotF.
Rosie HW was confirmed to be hot as hell throughout, once again proving the "I don't like beautiful women" crowd in this fandom wrong.
It didn't do much for me in all honesty - the crotch-shots of Carly were gratuitous and inappropriate for a kids movie. Also, how the hell did she not break a heel or even keep her shoes on given everything that happened to her in the latter part of the film?
It had some interesting moments (Laserbeak was terrifying, Tudyk was great, the Wreckers were great jerks and some of the jokes worked) but they were heavily outweighed by nonsensical rubbish. Laserbeak can turn into absolutely anything? So much for keeping things "grounded". You might as well just bring in mass-shifting.
Oh, and the Autobots sacrificed an entire human city to prove that Decepticons were dangerous? How thick did they think we were? When they did show up to save the day, they were hardly impressive - captured, killed or nowhere to be seen... My heroes. I found the wholesale human slaughter thoroughly depressing. It might have had more of an effect if we'd been introduced some characters at ground zero a'la Cloverfield. Likewise the robot deaths were brutal and offhand. Compare it with Bay's work in Armageddon, where each character got at least some memorable screentime before exiting stage left, and it seems as though Bay cares not a jot for the "stars".
All in, like the second movie I have no desire to ever see it again, but I gave it a fair chance and pumped more money into the franchise. I can only hope any eventual reboot brings with it a decent robot design team and a better bunch of writers.
It's a pity that the series degenerated into a bunch of poorly written colour-coded jagged things killing grey and unidentifiable jagged things in a spray of cogs.
I love how no one is freaking out when they meet Sam. They're all just "What's up?" not "Oh my god, you're that kid who was named and shown in that global broadcast by an alien robot a few years ago." Remember, RotF?
Don't you dare say it was sloppy film-making.
Just about to see it in IMAX for the first time.
While I was waiting I bought leader Sentinal and Human Alliance Jazz that I found at Toys R Us.
So far it's been a good day. Just hope the IMAX experience is as good as they say.
I stopped reading right here. Did you really think this was a kids movie?
Some people are REALLY bad at reading "PG-13"
I saw it yesterday and finally I enjoy it less than ROTF...
It was too serious, too love oriented, too much army with heroic music, Shockwave was totally absent, Megatron had no use...
It was strange.
You're right, I didn't look at the Cert (we were all over 25 anyway) - I made the assumption based on the fact that the theatre was rammed full of 7 year olds. Seriously, it's a movie about toys, aimed entirely at shifting toys off shelves.
Given the amount of gratuitous death scenes in the movie I would have rated it a 15, but then they can't sell as many toys can they?
Anyway, it was cheap garbage regardless of the cert. Just my opinion, you're welcome to yours.
Awesome score by Jablonski and Tudyk was good, so it wasn't a total wreck.
Sentinel Prime is a Disgrace
How dare Sentinel shoot Ironhide in the back after Ironhide defended him loyally. I really enjoyed the move the fact that the autobots continued to fight even when there backs were against the wall the continued on and fought for peace and humanity. Prime example lol GOOD ALWAYS TRIUMPS OVER EVIL NO MATTER WHAT
R.I.P IRONHIDE Q WHEELIE AND BRAINS
Armageddon was all human stars, they're much easier to have on screen all the time because you don't have to create them. and I think Prime knew that the Decepticons would've taken them out immediately had they put up a fight, hence they had to "die" and then they had the element of surprise. but like you said, everyone is entitled to their opinions...
It's not a kids movie, however, many parents will take younger kids to see it - simply because it's Transformers, which they equate with toys. And all kids love toys, right?
When I saw the movie on Wednesday night, the theater was PACKED with kids under age 13. Had an 8-year old on my left, and probably two 6-year olds (at the most) on my right.
but when he's looking for a job, don't his potential boss's ask him somthing like "why was the CIA looking for you" during his interviews?
yeah, they do. i just figured that most people don't pay attention to things like that. I can't tell you what the top 10 fugitives of the world look like...
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