OK, so a collegue of mine just got a call from the dumbest moron on the planet. He is a Comcast ISP subscriber that has 3mb download and 256kbps download. He called in cause he had poor phone quality. So we ran several speed tests. He had a actual connection of 11kbps down and 3kbps up with a quality of service of 2%. Thats piss poor internet. After talking with him further he has the following itema\s connected in this exact order. From his modem he has a router. The router has a PBX, a Internet Radio, and a Switch. From the switch he has a security system, 2 PC's, and out VoiP box. This guy is running a website from his home on a service that can barely handle hardcore surfing. PLUS he is running a PBX (This is a switch that controls phone service's). This guy is nuts. and his claim was"I have the best internet in all of florida". When in fact he has the shittiest ionternet in all of florida. When we had him remove all devices he still had bad internet. What a moron. I mean he has all these items in his home. He has home internet service. and a residential VoiP. We referred him to COmcast to tell them what he has. They will make him upgrade to business class. Hell, we may make him do the same cause of the PBX.

oh and i forgot to mention, he has a home server thats dedicated to his security system.

 

Who was this guy calling?

I've had one customer who had every Vista operating system installed on his computer plus Win XP 64bit. It totally fucked up with his DRM component and had to reference him to microsoft. I bet it was same guy too cause he was from Florida  

 

Sorry but I call bs.

1) Why would anyone do this?
2) why not just install ultimate?
3) Anyone who is smart enough to partition the drive for each version of vista would have the smarts to fix his own issues.

 

Customers do some strange things.

A co-worker of mine had someone that had Norton, AVG, and a 3rd antivirus program on their computer. Then called in complaining that their internet is slow.

I've had people swear to me that their modem never had a power cord. Well, how the hell is it suppose to work with out a cord? Telepathy? Don't see that happening

Had someone scream at me today, "Its not my fucking router!" Power cycled the router, internet works. How bout that?

I especially like the ones that call in and says that the internet hasn't worked for 2 months. But they don't call in till today. We're not mind readers, if something isn't working, you got to call in and let us know. Gets even better when they ask for credit for those 2 months. Again, they didn't call in, so there's no record of it being down, so they get no credit. "you go to Hell, you go to Hell, and you die!"  

I could go on and on......

 

My bro-in-law lives in what i call a hostage town; from the time i was a kid back in the late 70s till about 1995 or so, only had 1 cable company for the whoe city.
and in the mid 90s, the city cable was bought by adelphia, then just about 2 years ago, it became time warner.
thing is the customer service never changed. it was absent.
and the cable modem service he gets sucks rocks.
with adelphia, he was paying through the nose for the internet, but was getting very decent dl/ul rates.
but with the change to TW, he was paying through the nose and they cut his speeds back by at least 30 percent.
customer service told him nothing had changed and if he wanted even better service, to upgrade....
he can't threaten to use another service because he doesn't have a choice, so he is a hostage.
(still, his service beats the hell outta mine. i got Hughes Net...sheesh.)

 

I work a tech job and I know stupid customers but that still doesnt change the fact that you have to know computers some what well in order to do what DaggersRage said.

Racism is not tolerated here - 2005 staff

 

Hey, I'm only going with whatever the customer had said to me. His issue was still that he had messed up DRM components that. The guy also loved talking about himself at how great he is, it wouldn't be the first time I've had liars on the phone.

 

CZ - i'm no mod but maybe you should keep the racial slurs to a minimum?

 

I had a guy from Dell try to tell me once that it was the ISP's responsibility to replace the customer's NIC. Uh...no.... The NIC came installed on the PC when the customer bought it, so it's the PC manufacturer's responsibility.

 

Bwahahahhahaaa! Oh, you guys kill me. You at least have technical stuff to fix. I just get plain human stupidity.

--Why can't I see my reports? I tried to open the report in Word and it wouldn't work. *What's the extension* PDF **Signed into the report system** *What does it say, in RED, BOLD PRINT at the bottom of the system?* Requires Adobe Reader... *Do you have Adobe Reader installed?* Yes! *Okay, can you go to your Programs and read what version you have? It should say Adobe Reader something* Uhm...well....I don't see anything matching that.

--I'm the site admin and I need a user's account reenabled. *According to my records, you have the rights to do that. I'll walk you through this time, but you'll need to take care of this yourself.* <Three Days Later> Hi, I need a user account reenabled? *I remember talking to you about that a couple days ago* Yeah...well, I want you to do it.

I could go on, but that's about all I care to think of for now...

 

Customer: "My internet hasn't worked for days, the only light thats on the modem says 'standby'"

Me:"Your modem is in standby, push the standby button on the top of the modem"

Customer: "Do what now?"

 

I'm not trying to ruin the mood but I think you tech guys sometimes have a superiority complex over those that don't know the ins and outs of their machines. I tend to think of myself as pretty tech savvy but even I still cringe if I have to ask someone for help with something because I know they're going to scoff at me for not knowing something that's the norm for them.

Anyway, I work a client service job too so I know all too well about "stupid customers." So continue with the bashing, it's always a fun read  

Though that standbye button one, yeah, that's pretty unbelievable, lol.

 

Happens all the time.  

 

I had a 20 minute conversation with a PhD in our department (I do IT for a state university), physically prooving to him that he CAN NOT use CDs to save data, just like on floppy disks. He was adamant that he had burnt files to CDs, opened them, changed them and just resaved them to the same CD in the past.

Now, not being onversant with every piece of software out there, I'll admit that there may be an obscure program that will erase & reburn CD-RWs, and call the function "Saving", but he was claiming to do that on his standard work PC, (which I know doesn't have anythign like that) on standard CD-Rs.

Has anyone else had to have repeated discussions with the same person about which side of a CD goes up (the labelled ones, not the blank shiny ones)?

 

My basic Windows XP SP2 Home allows me to re-burn CDs many times. And sometimes all I'm doing is updating my resume.

 

Right, I know you can re-burn CD-RW, but he was adamant he wasn't re-burning, just re-saving the file. No versioning, no leaving the cd un-finalized, just resaving the open file to a closed session CD-R.

 

Right, but that's not what I was doing. I would go in to the CD, edit the document it, save/burn. There would be periods of time where I wouldn't use it for months, then edit it.

I don't think you can fault the customer for not knowing the term "burn" or "re-burn".

 

Yeah, I found out about the ol' standbye button the hard way. I was in the middle of a missions on City of Heroes and one of my cats stepped on it lol

 

i did tech support for a cable isp for 5 years, and i did business support for the last 2 years of that. nothing anyone does surprises me anymore. absolutely nothing.

 

So, I just had a customer that wanted to have us replace one of portable devices (A Creative Zen V) because it wasn't playing music.

Well, okay, I work at a music subscription service, we dont replace hand held devices, but I was going to find out why his device isnt working and see what I can do. So I ask some questions, and he says....

He never put any music on his device and it's not playing music.....

I roll my eyes but I continue to work with the guy, we put some music on the device and everything is working great. I know the music is on his device, he is reading to me the track names and albums that're on the device. It's the first time he's actually put music on it. So I try to have him play music on his device but god damnit, the guy is just not doing anything right. Hell, I even was able to get the same type of device he has and walk him through on exactly what buttons to push. He wasnt doing anything I said and he still wants us to replace the player.

I gave up and gave him Creative's phone number to get his so called replacement for his perfectly working player.