Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by Black Oracle, Jan 2, 2010.
Very cool! I really think he should be bulkier around the chest and legs, though. Prime's movie design's definetly complex, but it conveys some bulk, but he's still slender and graceful at the same time. It took me so many drawings since about February 09 to master it, but I still am no means perfect.
So, yeah, my only complaint is that he's too slim around the chest and legs. But he's like a good version of the Primes' somewhat evil, demonic design - blue lines instead of red and black. Very cool!
Attacker- That is way bettter than mine! You rock dude!!!!!!!!!
Holy smokes Attacker, that is quite awesome! Liking the blue energy running through him. You definitely gave him a very ancient Prime-ish look, especially on the legs. And i don't know why, but the wings kinda make me think of the EVA models from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Very creative work! Thanks for taking the time to do it.
I'm with B_O and ANO on this, you've drawn a Optimus Prime there, most excellent..have you posted this in the TF Fan Art?? If not, you should
Thanks for the good feedback guys, glad my work is appreciated. It means a lot, really. And Black Oracle, if any character gets reformatted, you can count on me to draw it.
Hmm, i shall bear that in mind...
Whew! Been busy altering my chapters for future posting. Decided i didn't like my previous ideas. So now this fic's gonna drag on a bit longer with a multi-part story beginning with this chapter! If any of you were fans of the 90s cartoon series "Gargoyles", the multi-part story to follow will be rather familiar to a particular episode of that show. I won't say which ep, but it's been the basis for this story.
Still written from Optimus Prime's first person perspective, this chapter sees him awakening to a very dark future indeed... I advise some of you to keep those tissues at the ready.
Just a reminder of approximate time units (you'll need to know!):
a meta-cycle – a year
a deca-cycle – a month
a solar cycle – a day
a cycle – an hour
a klik – a second.
Enjoy... or not...
Chapter 16: Dystopia – Part 1
Internal systems rebooting…50%... processor functioning active…
I am aware.
70%...audio sensors operational…
"By Primus, I think…I think he's reactivating!"
A familiar voice.
80%... restoring visual field…
The darkness clears…I see two figures looking down at me…bright lights above them…
"Can it be?"
Ratchet and another…A female I do not recognise…but there is something familiar about her face…
A shudder runs through my body. My arms twitch. My fingers stretch.
I stare up at Ratchet and the unknown female. I blink my optic shutters.
I groan. "Uhh…Ratchet?"
He looks down at me brightly as he speaks.
"Optimus, welcome back. How do you feel?"
"Heavy-headed…," I reply groggily.
I sit up slowly from a table. Ratchet supports my back with a hand as I do.
"Not surprising considering how long you've been in stasis," he says quietly.
I blink at him. Then the female I do not recognise leans into my abdomen and wraps her arms around my waist.
"Optimus…after so long…you're back…" She sounds so relieved.
She sighs, her optics dim and she presses herself into me. I gaze down at her, searching my memory bank's images. But I can't place her. She is a tall female. I estimate she would stand just past my waist in height. Bipedal, long legs, body of purple and white colouration and a combination of smooth curves and sharp edges. Her face…her azure optics…her voice…there is something familiar about them…
"Do I know…?" I begin.
She pulls her head back and tilts it to one side as she looks up kindly at me.
"Optimus, it's me, Elita-One."
I clasp my hands around her arms and study her more closely.
"Elita…what has happened to you?"
"Well, I got a new body," she chuckles lightly.
I turn my gaze back to Ratchet. Then I realise his body too has changed slightly in appearance. He obviously has scanned a new alternate mode.
"Ratchet…when did you scan a new alternate mode?" I ask, puzzled now.
Then I glance around at my surroundings. The walls of an unfamiliar metal room surround me, Cybertronian in design.
"This is not the Diego Garcia N.E.S.T. base," I observe, "Where are we?"
Ratchet lays a hand on my shoulder. His expression becomes solemn.
"Optimus, listen. A lot of time has passed and much has changed. We are no longer on Earth. We're back on Cybertron now."
"On Cybertron?" I repeat, surprised.
"You've been in stasis for a hundred meta-cycles," Elita informs slowly.
I look at her, stunned.
I find my head shaking in denial.
"How can that be?" I utter.
"You fell into a mysterious stasis-lock when we were still on Earth all those meta-cycles ago," Elita explains, "soon after you acquired your new body."
I gaze down at myself, thinking.
"I had a vision from the Matrix of the past…but surely that could not have caused me to be in stasis for so long…"
"It's a medical mystery to me too," Ratchet says tiredly, "But it is one that will have to wait. You have returned to us at a dire moment in time."
An unsettling weariness seems to descend on both their expressions. Then Elita attempts a smile at me.
"Come with us to the command room and we'll explain everything there," she instructs mildly, "The others will be surprised to see you active again."
She steps back as I swing my legs off the table and stand.
"The few of us left that is…," I hear Ratchet ominously mutter.
They lead me through a poorly lit corridor to a set of sliding doors. The doors open to reveal a small command room. It shows subtle signs of age in the creeping rust at corners. There is a main computer screen and console sitting at the other side of the room. Lining the side walls are tables of scavenged equipment. Even the loose metal chairs around the room appear to be taken from elsewhere.
I follow Ratchet and Elita into the small worn-looking command room, ducking my head slightly to avoid hitting the top of the doorway.
"Sideswipe, Bee, Arcee!" Elita calls, "You won't believe it, but Optimus is back online!"
I see Bumblebee and what must be Arcee turn around from looking at the main computer screen. There is a frozen moment as they stare at me speechless. Their forms have been altered too. Bumblebee, like Ratchet, displays the parts of a new Cybertronian alternate mode, though he retains his yellow colour scheme. Arcee's changes, like Elita's, are more drastic. She too has a new taller bipedal body. There is a greater physical difference between her and Elita now. Gone are their similar small Earth motorcycle forms.
They approach me tentatively, almost in disbelief. A clear voice emerges from Bumblebee's long-damaged vocaliser.
"Optimus? I don't believe it!"
I look down at him as joy lights up his face. He appears to have matured somewhat, his face and body seem broader than before, but his optics still hold a recognisable glimmer of his earnest nature.
"Bumblebee…," I utter.
Arcee places a hand against the side of my upper arm, as if to confirm to herself that my presence before her is real.
"Optimus, I did not think you would ever come back to us," she whispers.
She turns to Ratchet and Elita.
"Ratchet, sister, how did you get him operational again?"
Ratchet shakes his head. "We didn't. He just…came back online himself…after all this time..."
"As suddenly and mysteriously as when he went into stasis-lock a hundred meta-cycles ago," Elita adds, casting a wistful gaze at me.
Arcee walks over to Ratchet. I observe him affectionately taking hold of her hand in both of his and offering her a small smile. Arcee returns the smile to him appreciatively.
The roll of wheeled feet from behind grabs my attention. I turn around to see Sideswipe. He too has the armour of a new alternate mode, one that adds red to his former pure silver colour scheme. He rolls up to me. His gaze is like steel.
"Welcome back, Optimus," he says in a low voice that I am immediately wary of, "I've been waiting a long time to do this."
His silver fist comes up toward my face in the space of a klik. I react instantaneously by sliding my battle mask over my face just as his fist slams up into my chin. The force sends my head back. I am stunned, but recover quickly only to see Sideswipe growling at me with a hostility I have never before seen in him. Elita rushes in between him and me, holding her arms out to block Sideswipe.
"Primus, Sideswipe! What was that for?" she reprimands firmly.
I retract my face plates, still bewildered. Sideswipe's expression hardens even further. He points an accusing finger at me.
"He left us to fight alone for a hundred meta-cycles against the Decepticons! It's because of his 'absence' that we've lost the war!"
"Lost the war…?" I repeat, shocked, confused.
"Stop it, Sideswipe!" Elita orders, "It's not his fault he's been in stasis this long." I have never seen her this close to losing her temper at a fellow Autobot.
"Well I'm sorry if I don't share your sympathy for him, Elita," Sideswipe responds coldly, "He's been nothing but dead weight to us all these meta-cycles! We've risked our lives and lost comrades just to protect his offline body! We're hiding from the Decepticons, fighting a hopeless guerrilla war and struggling for survival now no thanks to him!"
Sideswipe's words confuse me and fill me with dread. He snaps his merciless gaze back at me.
"Without you, Optimus, we were no match for Megatron. He's now in control of Cybertron," he utters bitterly.
The weight of his words sinks into me. I fear to ask a question.
"What of Earth?"
Sideswipe continues to glower at me. Arcee responds to my question instead.
"Conquered. Soon after you went into your mysterious stasis-lock condition. Megatron somehow found a new source of energy and summoned an army of Decepticons to Earth. We and our human allies didn't stand a chance. All the Earth-bound Autobots were taken prisoners. The humans…some were enslaved, most were slaughtered across the planet…"
I open my mouth, but no words come out.
"But before the Decepticons had captured us, we managed to hide your body in a cave beneath a volcano. When we could, we managed to escape the Decepticon prison aboard their flagship. We stole one of their smaller crafts and returned to recover your body. Then we fled back to Cybertron."
Elita's head drops as she speaks next, her voice edged with sadness.
"When we landed back here, the Decepticons had already begun exterminating Autobot camps. They were emboldened by the news of your supposed 'death' whilst Autobots everywhere were in disarray and had lost morale without you to lead us. We fell all too easily."
"We have had no contact from any other Autobots for ninety-five meta-cycles now," Ratchet informs heavily, "It seems likely that Megatron has wiped out the entire Autobot resistance… We may very well be the last surviving Autobots…"
AHHHHHHH! Sounds like Rip van Prime woke up just in time. My heart sank when I read that he did not at first recognize Elita. I am hoping that this is only a vision he is having. Sides is still as angry as ever and the rest seem to be living on borrowed time.
My gosh, you've gone to the dark side with this one.. few Autobots left, humans and Earth a big question mark there.. I'm with Ano, let this be a nightmare Optimus is having!! The story is good, but a scary future there, scary..
(if all of that really has happened to Earth and humans, we're dust anyway..but wow!! )
Please let this be a dream! Please let this be a dream! Please let this BE A DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree with MPL Surely this has to be a nightmare that Optimus is having, please for Primus sakes say this is a nightmare
You've got us on the run Blk_O. Dang fine writing!
That was really shocking. It was very deep and moving, and I could feel not just Optimus, but all of the characters now, especially Sideswipe. Optimus must be going through a horrible feeling of guilt, sadness and anger. Great chapter
This is getting very interesting and a drastic chance of sceneray indeed.
Love the characterization here, great work as always. DOn't know really what to think of it, just going tolean back and wait for the next chapter.
My first time reading fan fic! What a great start! I hate reading but this was enjoyable!!
You should read Black Oracle's other fanfics, all of which tie into this one. They're all great reads!
Hmm, i seem to have shocked quite a few of you...excelleeeent. My plan is working...
Ano, did Prime wake up in time? We shall have to see... And i don't know why, but Sideswipe has been the perfect anger-filled character for me to express hostilities through.
sanchomaul, I'm glad i've given you a good first experience in reading TFs fanfiction! Especially if you're not an avid reader in general! Thank you for reading.
Now i have to pick up jaws from the floor again...
You'll get my bill for dental repair next week!
Separate names with a comma.