Today's haul: The Versaulter was a bit smaller than I expected, I thought it would be approximately Deluxe-sized (or Deluxes shrunk since the last time I bought one - which would be over a decade ago ). And now for the continuation of my Diaclone Headcannon farce (all names purely random): --- Location: Diaclone High Command Headquarters General Bob wa staring hard at the screen, intently watching some scene in front of his eyes with a very serious frown. The door opened. General Andy entered. General Bob gestured that General Andy must come sit next to him. With a grave voice, he ejected: "Do you remember that wimpy little Power Suit pilot whose name is not worth remembering or mentioning?" Andy replied: "The one that was always dreaming of having his own rescue team, or the other one that you had disappeared via a little accident involving a Big Powered making a wrong step?" "The former one. He sent me this picture." "That can't be. I personally verified that his Power Suit had been rendered into the flattest thing imaginable, and filed the report about his 'accidental' death." General Andy made sure he makes the quote marks around the 'accidental' almost physical. You always had to be careful around General Bob, the man had a temper problem that even the most violent Waruder would be scared by. "NOT THAT ONE! The Rescue one, vocal little bastard couldn't be removed via such an efficient event, otherwise questions would have been asked! The little runt was quite popular with people that should not matter, but unfortunately do!" Little speckles of spit ended up on the screen, as General Bob was almost foaming at the mouth while he gesticulated in more and more grotesque manners. General Andy bows closer to the screen, all while making sure he stays out of the line of fire of General Bob's threatening mouth. The man continues: "You remember, we came up with the scheme where we set him up to fail, sending him a Carrier Expansion Set and that new-fangled Option Set, expecting he could not come up with a working configuration. But that stupid little brat from accounting was too dumb to understand the chassis could be put into reverse!" "Yes...I understand you have dealt with the man from accounting in a manner most efficient." "Indeed. That former Dianaut now knows what it means to be put into reverse. In Hell." "Yes, I spotted the dark red stain underneath the new black Carrier prototype." General Andy made a mental note to have all potentially lethal 'toys' put away next time General Bob visited the hangar. He looked at the picture again: General Bob paused. General Andy made use of the pause to enumerate what he sees on the picture. "Let's see, this is that guy, Flower Mick, who was dismissed dishonourably because he healed everyone, including Waruders...wait, is that Major D. Struction? Ain't that a very bad idea?" "Yes, Rescue guy is not allowed to succeed! So I'm sending him the worst of the worst our forces contain, troops that would be off too well if I just had them executed for some petty reason!" "uh...yeah..." "But look! At! Them! D. Struction seems to be best buds with that medic hippie! I can't believe it!" General Andy looked at the others in the picture, while taking worried glances in General Bob's direction, who seemed to be approaching a major eruption and started to have a worryingly dark red color. There was this one guy, dismissed for driving too fast everywhere, some utterly lunatic mechanics...all people General Bob hated with all his guts...wait, there might be a pattern there. General Bob continued raging. "But you know what REALLY PISSES ME OFF? It's THIS!!!" General Bob jammed his finger so hard at the screen there was a worryingly loud crack. General Andy tried not to worry about it and wasn't sure it was the screen giving the ghost, or that general Bob had just broken his own index finger and not noticed it due to the adrenaline. "Where the **** did they get that Tread Versaulter?!? How?!? Where?!? WHAT?!?" "Sir, don't they have a Argo Versaulter on pre-order at the factory? I didn't think Versaulters were forbidden..." "Yes, that Argo Versaulter. I can let that pass for two reasons! One. Its delivery is multiple months in the future! They might die beforehand! Two. It's a submarine." General Andy tried and succeeded to suppress a disapproving look. He knew General Bob thought naval warfare was just nonsense, but this was approaching anti-underwater discrimination. He tried: "The Argo Versaulters are much needed to hunt down the Waruders hiding underwater. There are rumours of a new aquatic type..." "I know that! Three. I was planning to sick Ty Manic, the Terror of the Seven Seas, onto that Rescue guy as a pilot. That would solve two problems at once, he would sink them all and then we'd just need to have a little accident featuring that new Grand Dion stepping on it. And by 'It' I mean the Argo Versaulter!" General Andy shuddered. Ty Manic, also nicknamed "Ty Tanic", was both known as an excellent captain and someone who had led several regular navy armadas to their demise. Notably, he was never onboard the ships hitting the icebergs. Perhaps that was a bit too much. Besides, there was a risk of it backfiring, what with this little army of eccentrics that General Bob had unwittingly assembled. "Do we still have FZ Fusion bombs? I'm gonna drop one on their heads and finish them off before things get out of hand!" "No, Sir, I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Besides, the United Nations did not particularly appreciate your little stunt with the previous bomb and the swimming pool, and we wouldn't want them to send one of their commissions over here to investigate. They might discover embarrassing things, like our little get-rich scheme involving second hand units sold for astronomical prices and we both want to retire safely, don't we?" "Well, they should all shut up!" With that, General Bob went to mope in a corner. General Andy sighed. Fortunately he had managed to defuse this before things went very wrong. It was especially fortunate that General Bob had not spotted the thing lurking in the shadow behind that group in the picture...that would have sent him ballistic for sure. Although General Andy would have to explain to accounting why their much-valued coworker had disappeared without a trace overnight...and clean up the stain. Can't have that show up in a publicity shoot, after all. --- See you next time (I get stuff in the mail)!