Years ago, people made fun of Ross Perot for his nonsensical rants. "ya can't run the economy like a duck with a laxative...it'll kill the goose." or "We're in the barn with the bull and the horns are hornier than we thought." those kinds of things. but people really say the darnedest things. I'll share a couple things i have heard (and yes, I am from ALABAMA, so you are legally obligated to remind me of that and make fun of it) and you tell me things you have heard that made your jaw drop. I am quoting this because i heard this in a feed and seed store with my grandfather years ago and the man really said it: "I have been to three county fairs and a goat fucking and never seen anything that ugly." "The mosquitoes around here could stand flat footed and rape a turkey." lastly, from Lewis Grizzard: "He was uglier than a bastard billy goat." ...really, i need my medz...
Snooker: "For those of you watching in black and white, the blue is behind the pink" Football: "If it had gone in the net, it would have been a goal."
I had an (ex)friend tell me that she believed she was a vampire. You know. The whole dabbling in the Necronomicon and what not was just not hardcore enough for her. When she tried to make me believe I was a werewolf.. I started backing the hell up and away from that crazzzzy chick. :| I am a bug zapper for crazy people. One thing that sucks about 'starting over' with friends after all your old ones went nutso on you.. you don't really know anyone from before. Everything is brand new. It's awkward 8|..
When I was young and watching GI Joe, my dad overhead the "and knowing is half the battle!" bit. And then he told me that the other half of the battle was "a concentrated application of firepower and resources to destroy or accomplish your target objective." Two other odd gems from him: "Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and tactical nuclear strikes." "If you ever find yourself in a knifefight, you messed up 200 meters back."
From a parent: "Infection is part of the healing process." From another parent: "He don't see too good out of one eye -- he's got death deception." NO WAI! Heh. I've heard many variations on the "horseshoes, hand grenades, and [X]". That's a good one. That's not odd, that's AWESOME.
you can put a rattlesnake on a rollercoaster but im pretty sure, when it gets off it aint gonna bake you a cake!
"What did I mean?" -Mentally challenged guy down the road Also, damn near everything on laserbeak.org. I die a little every time I go there.
My first thought was what a buddy of mine said once. We were in Moab, Utah for some mountain biking on the slickrock trail, and while at some diner as he's lookin at the locals pronounces "Wow, in this town, I guess you either have a girlfriend, or you don't" Really? Ok...
From an ECPI commercial: "Ever since I went to ECPI, my life has taken a complete 360." Sounds about right...
