So... my uncle just passed away..

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by IceMagnus, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. IceMagnus

    IceMagnus SSJIcey'95

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    And I am having a very difficult time getting my thoughts together and right now I feel nothing. I'm upset I know that but how do I like adjust to this? How do I feel? I just don't know how to describe my initial thoughts and feelings right now... it's taking me a while to wrap my head around it..

    Does anyone have any advice?

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. eagc7

    eagc7 TF Movieverse fan

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    Sorry for your loss :( 
     
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  3. Dark Skull

    Dark Skull Well-Known Enabler Veteran

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    Time heals all wounds. Sorry for your loss. It's always tough to lose close ones, and there's never really a solid definitive answer in how to deal with it. Cry. And after you're done....just live, and go through each day one at a time.
     
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  4. marvel b

    marvel b Bearer of the Matrix of Smash

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    it takes time. when both my grandfather and uncle passed, i was basically emotionless for about a month. no anger, no sadness, no joy...i was a robot.....then out of nowhere i cried for three days.i became myself again, but i still missed them...

    hang in there. everyone handles loss differently. i wish you luck.
     
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  5. Esteban

    Esteban I run alone.

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    Stay strong.
    I lost my dad and as the years go by it gets better. Hold on to the good memories and think about the good times. Also keep busy!
    Buy a toy. Beat a Zelda game or clean your room lol just don't think of bad things.
     
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  6. Star Sabre James

    Star Sabre James The JUICE

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    This is correct. It gets easier over time, though you will always miss your loved one.
     
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  7. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    Grief is complicated and personal. Let yourself feel what you feel, don't try and force yourself to feel (or not feel) something because you think you're obligated. Work through it as you need to. It'll come together as time goes on, but especially now, while the loss is recent, it's normal and okay for you to feel like your feelings are complicated or jumbled together.

    Talk about it, if you find that helps you.

    A personal question, but is this the first time you've lost someone close to you like this?
     
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  8. Novaburnhilde

    Novaburnhilde シン・ブリュンヒルド

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    I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

    Rather than repeat the excellent advice offered by the folks here, I'll say this: It will get easier to deal with as time goes by, and even then, it's okay if some days it still really hurts. There's no rules about how you should feel, because we all process this kind of thing differently, and that's okay. Simply put, there's no one way to grieve.
     
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  9. TFW10

    TFW10 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry your loss.

    Many people deal with grief differently but I would focus your attention to your immediate family.

    Your immediate family needs you too and together all of you can deal with grief in a more holistic way, as in sharing specific memories of your uncle.

    Within time, the wounds do heal, but the wounds don't go away entirely. Also, I believe your uncle would want you to "move on and do good things, in memory of him".

    Keep in touch and please, internalizing grief is not a good thing, its important to share and reflect your grief with love ones.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
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  10. Pudglor Shmormuff

    Pudglor Shmormuff Well-Known Member

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    Sorry man.

    As much of a pain in the neck as it is, I've found that time's the only thing that can heal wounds of this sort. Whether it's a broken heart or a death of close friend or relative- you just have to force yourself to keep moving, keep living, and keep going, until one morning you wake up and realize: I can't remember the last time I thought about that...

    And once you get to that point: It doesn't hurt as much.

    At least that's how it works for me.

    Hope you find a healthy way to do it, and keep in mind: We're always here. ^_^
     
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  11. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator

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    So sorry to hear about this Ice... sounds like this was unexpected, so you're probably in a bit of shock... one of the 'stages' of grief. GRIEF IS MULTIFACETED.... how each of us experience it and work thru it is anything but 'normal' or typical... we all have our coping mechanism ... we grieve in our own ways and time.
    Don't try to force it, trying to 'feel' like everyone else... they aren't all feeling the same thing either... maybe they don't have your outlets (i.e. here) to discuss their feelings.

    My personal experience is to talk about those you've lost... look at the pictures, view the vids, when you can... and you're ready. I've found that sharing those moments and memories with others close to the person, always seems to help. Draw a picture... write in a journal... write him a letter, saying everything you wanted to say, but didn't have the chance. Whatever works best for you.
    Each loss is different... some you want to talk, others you don't... or can't until later.
    You'll know when it's right and you're ready.
     
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  12. Applejacktimus

    Applejacktimus has been found dead in Miami

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    I'm so very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I cannot give you any advice on how to deal with this, as I have never had anyone close to me pass away, though I do give you my sincere condolences. I believe what everyone's replied so far is sound advice though, and I hope you can eventually move on, but remember your uncle. I'm sure he would be happy if you can move on, but never forget him and remember the memories you value.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2017
  13. IceMagnus

    IceMagnus SSJIcey'95

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    I just got back from the viewing. His funeral is tomorrow. I just want to say thank you so much to all of you who have gave me some very good advice. I appreciate it completely. The easiest part is done. The hard part is coming and if it's the breaking point then let it be. All I will have to do after tomorrow is take it one day at a time and not rush into things. I know I'll miss him but at least he won't be in pain and at least he will get to see his mom, dad, and step-dad. :) 

    RIP Uncle Lee you've had a good life. You were an awesome father, grandfather, uncle, and husband. Rest easy and say hello to nan and pap for me.
     
  14. Livingdeaddan

    Livingdeaddan DEFIANTLILHORDE

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    Remember to have a little time to yourself, but also don't feel guilty about distracting yourself with friends or media etc. Eventually the painful feelings turn into treasured memories.
     
  15. MetalRyde

    MetalRyde is an a-hole with a heart. RIP Spike and Mojo.

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    I went through the same emotions when my youngest uncle was murdered last year. He was a cool uncle who really cared a lot for his family. I miss him everyday. As cliche as it sounds, when we lose love ones, they live on as long as you keep them in your heart.