touchy subject I know, but has anyone here delt with it? either yourself or a friend or loved one cutting themselves because they are depressed? its not me that's doing it, so no worries there im just in a situation where someone I care about sliced her arms with a razor earlier today, and well im pretty upset about it. she brought it up before hand and I made her promise me she wouldnt.. but then she did it today anyways, had to go to the hospital and get stitches. its not the first time she's done it either, this is the 3rd time, that I know of anyways. anyone else ever deal with anything like this? any advice?
Yes. An ex-girlfriend of mine did this occasionally; it took an awful lot of talking and convincing on my behalf to get her out of it. A lot of it came down to problems with family and depression - the whole "cutting the arm to bleed some pain" idea becomes an easy outlet. One of these useful ways that I showed my ex to deal with pain was to, instead of cutting herself, inflict pain on herself by beating the shit out of a punching bag or slamming around pillows, etc. Soon thereafter, she had replaced one of the potted plants in her apartment with a punching dummy. My ex used to describe the physical pain as "purgative," as if it was satisfying emotional/mental pain. I'd suggest trying to help her find another outlet of physical pain that's not so self-destructive.
If that doesn't work. You might need to get her some professional help. The simple cutting might lead to something worse when that doesn't help anymore.
I haven't had to deal so much with someone cutting (only had that a few times), but more someone 'purging' (uh, bulimic for the less eating disorder experienced) - fairly similiar things. It really is important to help as much as possible and believe me it's pretty hard at times. If it's bad try seeing if there's a clinic for mental health in the area you can suggest that she goes and sees or stays at for a few days. They should be able to help and deal with the problem. Or at least try getting her to see a professional - if you're a uni student then most uni's tend to have free psychologists for students to see. It is important to try and get it dealt with asap, as if it gets worse it can lead to suicidal thoughts and then attempts. Take it from me, that's something that hopefully you won't have to deal with. It ain't fun (hmm, pretty obvious I guess).
yeah, I was just reading a site, and it had mentioned the same thing you did Ops_was_a truck. well.. she did it cuz she is depressed, and I guess she figures that if she cuts herself, it'll take the pain away from her heart. I asked her tonight if it worked, and she said no. she cut her self numerous times today in the same area and had to get stitches. but that site had mentioned inflicting pain in a not so destructive way, like snapping a rubber band on your arm. so it'll hurt for a while, but not do damaging, then going frmo there and trying to quit hurting yourself all together. I also read that telling them not to do it, isn't good either, it just makes them want to do it more, so it probably wasn't good for me to make her promise not to do it. she just went and did it the next day anyways. im gonna sit down with her and talk about it, and ask her some of the questions. "What was the point to it? What did you hope to accomplish? How did you expect to feel afterwards? What was your immediate reaction when it happened? What thoughts ran through your head? How did you expect people to react to it? (If a particular individual precipitated the self mutilation, ask specifically about him or her). Suppose you hadn't done it, what do you think would have happened? How would things have been different? How would you have felt then
I have no idea how to go about helping some one with that problem besides telling them to see a professional because I can’t even begin to wrap my head around why some one would do it in the first place. Now I have heard all the stuff that people who do it say why they do it but it still sound totally insane to me.
I had an ex do it a lot. I tried for hours to talk her out of it. Looking back, should have let the bitch cut herself to death.
I've known a few people that do that and the only thing you can really do is get away from them. Those people are just crazy and there is nothing that you can personally do to help them short of dragging them to a psychologist and even then it might not help.
is it still considered "cutting" or self-mutilation if they never really cut themselves? just kind of drag the blade across their arm, at worst making pink scratches that fade in minutes/hours?
Mike, all you can do is talk to this person, try and find the root of the problem, then from there work on solving it. I have an Ex who used to do it, and it stemmed from low-self esteem. The cutting is just a symptom of a cause, some people binge drink, others stuff their mouths with chocolate, these people choose to cut themselves. It won't lead to them slitting their wrists. That's a different problem altogether. When I found out about it I googled the hell out of it. There are lots of sites out there with good, solid, advice, message boards and advice lines to help you, and them, out. I strongly reccomend you seek out more experienced and professional advice.
TT's speaks words of wisdom. i too have a strong experience of it and i know the man speaks the truth.
The last guy I got involved with , did it.He did to ease his emotional pain.But, he also was into drugs and booze as well.The guy indeed had problems and being bi polar as well. Maybe,it's for the best we did break up,I don't think I could handle him too long emotional,even though I do have a great deal of patience and being a sympathetic person as well.
I had a few friends that were into it. It was'nt a mental addiction though, they're just drunk tards at times that were like "check out the blood dude" Tempted to just hand em a chainsaw and say have fun. It's a pretty serious addictive , compulsive illness that supposely starts from habit and depression. ( or from boredom and stupidity)Only way they feel they can stop is if someone makes them of if they die from it. Guess it's hard for them to stop since they need that slash like an addict needs his crack. Seems like it's usually females doing it. Maybe its some kind of wierd emotional vulnerable self drama thing or something. Chicks are wierd man lol
That is exactly what happend with my best friend Christine, She said she likes the outer pain better so she can forget the inner pain. But as for solutions she is some kind of anti-depressant but that doesn't seem to help, she sees a therapist once a week also and she says that her therapist is the most wonderful thing that ever happend to her. But then the problem is when she wants to cut herself she asks to see her therapist, usually she can at anytime durign the day but at night she can't and can't wait til morning and then cuts herself at night. But therapy seems to help her alot.
I have never delt with this with anyone I know, but I will also agree that your friend needs help and needs it now!!!!!!!
While it is serious, it really isn't life threatening like Bulemia, Alcoholism or many other forms of self harm. Making an absoloute drama helps nobody, especially ther person doing it. Like I said, try and find the root of the problem, if you can't, seek professional help. It's a behaviour cycle that *can* be broken, it just takes time, patience, understanding and a lot of love.
yeah.. I just wish she would stop it upsets me to see her do that to herself. I saw some of the cuts today, she took off her bandage wrap, she must have cut herself at least 15 times, some deep, some just surface scrapes. I suggested to her ,if she is considering doing it again, to do something other then cutting her self like putting a rubber band around her arm and snapping it to inflict pain, at least it wouldn't be so damaging to herself, and she'll get the same effect I think. I dunno. after I suggested that, she said she could use it to put around her neck and choke herself, or get some rope instead.... her birthday is on the 17th, and she keeps saying she's gonna kill herself, but then sais she's joking, but I dont know if she is joking... she sais she does this cuz she is depressed, her mom died this november and she is taking it really hard, I saw pictures of the other two times she cut herself, she took a shaving razor and inscribed MOM and a heart at the end into her right arm, and the other arm, she just cut it all to hell top to bottem of her fore arm. last friday, she tried getting alchohol poisening, drinking too much, she did it on purpose.. but it didn't work and ended up going to the hospital and getting her stomach pumped im not really sure what else to do, i know she needs help, but she sais she's banned from the mental health clinic here in town for cutting herself in there in some other ladies room, I dont know if tha's true or not, and she has looked into getting help, but she would have to go away to a few cities over for a while. i really don't want to see her hurting herself anymore, and definatly don't want to see her dead.
This does sound more serious than perhaps a simple cutting problem. Like TT said, it can be a behavior, but this, coupled with the other things in your last post Mike, lead me to believe that it is symptomatic of a deeper problem. Also, like TT said, don't turn this into a huge drama. Just care for her and let her know that YOU care and that other people care as well. If she is a person of faith, I would try to relate to her on that level as well (if that's the case, PM me and we can discuss that issue further). Basically the best thing you can do it try to encourage her to get some professional help, and to be there for her.
