OK my Family & I have been invited to dinner over someones house, this isn't the first time but everytime we go, WE DO NOT EAT. This woman is now getting offended because she notices we do this. We have had all kinds of excuses as to why and running out now because she has taken notice. The issue is she is the type who never washes her hands including after taking a shit. Yes I said it. But you go to the house and it's spotless. Go figure. So because of Hygiene we always say we just ate. That doesn't fly too well especially when we were invited to eat. So now Im lost as to what to do and asking your opinions. She is older and refuses to change her ways. Not a relative of mine Thank God. So please give me some suggestions.

Thanks in advance.

The Key is, Im not trying to be ignorant or rude.

 

Don't actually go if the purpose of the visit is food, its not like it matters if she isn't your relative and it'll be a bit hypocritical for anyone else to whine at you for it if they don't want to eat there either.

If you must visit her at some point, do so for short amounts of time with little advanced notice or at times when set meals arn't usually eaten.

 

Sounds good and all but here's the crazy part, My wife alresady said yes. Now if we say we're not coming then she'll call all day long to try to get you to come and sad because she does a lot for the kids. You kinda don't wanna mess that up. This is hard.

But good suggestion though  

 

You could always have her over for dinner instead, claiming that it works better for you that way or something. Or you could offer to bring part of the dinner yourself so she isn't doing all the work, then you only need to eat your dish.

Or you could go out for dinner instead, say it has been a while since you went OUT for dinner and you should all go out...Then in the future when she invites you over for dinner, maybe you can go for a visit for an after dinner occassion or something?

 

Tell the truth. Plain and simple. There's no reason to put yourself through this, and ESPECIALLY risk eating there.

 

Deefuzz-Great Idea.

Tenebrouser- I'd tell her but Im not too nice.  

 

QFT

She might not be doing purposely, but it might be more of a bad habbit she might not be fully aware of. We all have bad habbits and sometimes it takes an outsider to let us know so to speak  

Now if after telling her she still does it, I say invite her to your place instead

*EDIT*

Sorry, posted my response while you were posting your's TOM

 

I fall towards No with that too.  

 

Hey man, I've gotta agree with Shaun. Try to find a "nice" way of letting her know. There is a chance she's not aware of it. I used to work with a guy that would scratch at "himself" (if you get my drift), and it finally got to where people didn't want to work with him for it. We had to confront him about it, and he didn't realize how much he did it. It was embarassing for him, and us, but he quit. Good luck, whichever way you go.

 

I've got to agree with the "tell the truth" crowd. If this is a recurring and regular trend, and you think more dinners are going to occur at this household in the future, you might want to raise it to her. Note your concern for your children, most of all - do you want your kids exposed to food prepared by those hands? I mean, that might be the middle ground right there, mentioning your li'l ones and their germ-free safety.

 

Leave little hints around the house, like bottles of purell and soap.

You could also get one of those "Employees must wash their hands before leaving" signs and hang it in the bathroom.

The real question is, how do you know she doesn't wash her hands? Are there brown crusties under her fingernails?

 

I say just eat it.

 

yep, tell her the truth, that you dont want shit flavored chicken

 

I've been there and know when she goes to the Bathroom and you never hear the water except for the toilet.

 

Spray everything you will touch with Disinfectant. j/k

Seriously though, just let her know that, for the safety of the kids, could she please wash her hands, if you dont feel 100% about saying that, tell her that the kids are going to have some innoculation or something, and need to have no food for 24 hours.

Also, inviting her for dinner/ going out for dinner are also good ideas to try.

 

I gotta second this one too, mate.

 

This is a serious question, that I must put in my 2 cents worth. I would say that under no circumstances you should eat that food that she makes. About a month ago there was a E-Coli scare around fresh spinach. You know where E-Coli comes from - fecal matter. If she does not wash her hands after taking a dump she could be exposing you, and everyone else there, to E-Coli. Kids and the elderly are more prone to having problems when exposed to E-Coli. So do not eat her food and tell her why. You could be saving a life here.

 

i'm just wondering how you know she doesnt wipe :|

 

What is she making?

 

Tell her the truth, man. Either she'll start washing her hands, or she'll never invite you over again. It's win - win!