Obsidian's Lament and other post-Beast Machines stories

Discussion in 'Transformers Funnies' started by Andersonh1, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. Dark Ramjet

    Dark Ramjet Waiting patiently

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    Great Comix Shane I read it all today at work. Glad the boss took the day off. I got absolutely no work done, lol
     
  2. Gears

    Gears buh-buh-body ya Veteran

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  3. HellSpawn

    HellSpawn And justice for all...

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    Got myself a "normal" Beast Machines Cheetor some years ago. But even that one has a left arm beastmode, right arm in robot mode gimmick. Lower arm rotates when the lever thingy on top of the arm is pulled.

    btw: poseability sucks on that one. Because of the strange leg design, and it has a chromed chest piece.
     
  4. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    I'll address it into the narrative somehow. I suspect he'll just lose the armor he's currently wearing. Maybe he'll decide that it restricts his movement or something.

    I wonder if Obsidian has a spy in the Maximals' ranks? ;) 

    I'm having fun setting up a 'cold war' type scenario, where both sides are plotting and constantly trying to get the drop on each other. To me, that's just as interesting as all out warfare, if not more interesting.

    One of the great things about post-Beast Machines is that it allows me to avoid two staples of Transformers fiction: 1) Optimus and Megatron as leaders and 2) fighting primarily over energy reserves for the purposes of winning the war. There is no war per se, just criminal elements working against the Maximal regime, and energy is plentiful for all, leaving me free to work on other types of stories.

    And it's interesting to explore Cheetor's approach to leadership. Technically, as a member of the ruling council, he shouldn't even be out in the field taking part in combat and espionage, but he just can't let it go.
     
  5. Pun-3X

    Pun-3X Well-Known Member

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    Being Cheetor, I wouldn't expect him to. Being young tends to help.
     
  6. Seawing

    Seawing Lurker of the depths Moderator

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    Yeah I agree. Leaving those two elements out lets you build on established characters, introduce new ones and give you the freedom to write what you want and still keep the story interesting.
     
  7. Leemon

    Leemon Yar, spare sum fuel mate?

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    But, the question I have rumbling around in my head is; will Blastcharge truly turn against Cheetor and fully accept Obsidian's point of view as his own? That in itself could be a whopper of a story. "The Mole's Tale." Or, something like that.
     
  8. Eric

    Eric Dreadnought of Floof

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    Just got up to speed with these stories, and all I can say is this:

    WOW. :thumb  Great comic, Shane!
     
  9. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    Don't get fired for reading comics at work! :lol 

    Glad you enjoyed it.
     
  10. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Night Flame, if you're still reading, the first part of this story is your fault. :) 

    Back when I was posting Obsidian's Lament, I included some dialogue which revealed that Rattrap and Botanica's relationship had been short-lived. Night Flame expressed disapproval of the cavalier manner in which I wrote off Botanica, a character I personally can't stand, however interesting the idea of a plant-Transformer is. So I challenged myself to write a story in which Botanica played a part, however small, simply to see if I could fairly write a character I disliked.

    As you can imagine, the only way to include her was with screen captures. It's a lot of work to erase the background from them so the plant-lady can make an appearance, but here she is. I'll try to treat her well, but I can't vouch for Rattrap. :) 
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2020
  11. Cobalt Agent

    Cobalt Agent My dick kills dinosaurs

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    It's got to be a bitch to have to go through different clips to get screen captures just to make it seem like she's actually there, rather than a motionless copy&paste pic or cardboard cutout.

    Good job.
     
  12. Leemon

    Leemon Yar, spare sum fuel mate?

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    So, is this story going to be a link in the main Obsidian story line, or is it just a side story in the wonderful universe you've come up with?
     
  13. airfox

    airfox TF: Cybertronian Wars!

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    You pulled it out perfectly. Rattrap and Botanica look natural next to one another, despite one being a screen capture and the other a toy.

    Congratulations ... and keep up the good job.

    -airfox
     
  14. Pun-3X

    Pun-3X Well-Known Member

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    It looks relatively seemless. I think the only reason she looks less there than Rattrap is we all know the source, so our minds tend to remind us as we look at the image.

    Only complaint is Rattrap's internal monologues. They don't feel....Rattrap-ish enough. There really isn't much in pointers I can give, as it's up to each writer to try and portray a character the best they can--or how they wish to.

    Otherwise, I'm intrigued where this might be going. And I can't help but be sadistic in waiting for what Rattrap has to say. :wink: 
     
  15. Katamari Prime

    Katamari Prime Hassan Chop!

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    Rattrap, complaining as usual, it works.
     
  16. Gears

    Gears buh-buh-body ya Veteran

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    :thumb :thumb 
     
  17. 138 Scourge

    138 Scourge WE R 138

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    See, I gotta disagree with Pun-3x, here. I think you've captured Rattrap perfectly.

    I especially love the idea that, as eager as he was to get back to Cybertron in BW, now that he's back, he wants nothing more to get off. One could say that it's because this isn't "his" Cybertron anymore, but there is the line about how if he'd wanted to stay there, he wouldn't have signed up.

    Thanks for putting the extra work in to get Botanica in here. It's appreciated.

    Also, as a man, and as a Rattrap fan, I have to say, whatever went down in their relationship...Rattrap was Right!
     
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  18. The621

    The621 Fuck you, that's why!

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    :thumb  That, is a perfectly pulled off move, Shane! :thumb 
     
  19. Andersonh1

    Andersonh1 Man, I've been here a LONG time Veteran

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    Regarding Rattrap's voice, it's difficult to capture it exactly as it's spoken on screen. I don't want to try and spell everything out phonetically since it starts to just look wrong and becomes very distracting. So for me it's a case of writing his speech in a very informal manner with some colloquialisms that he might use. It didn't work for Pun-3X and did work for 138Scourge. :) 

    I don't think we'll see too many internal monologues from him, but since he's the only character in the first few panels, it was the best way to introduce the setting and situation. Rattrap talks to himself more than the other characters, but I didn't want seven or eight panels of that!
     
  20. darksage78

    darksage78 Maximal

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    Very nice on the new start, and Rattrap too! Hope to see more :)