Hey there, TFW2005. If I've placed this thread in the wrong section, yall can close it, but direct me to a better section before you do!

For a year, I've worked on a comic series similar to South Park, but not as crude and evil.

I call it: Well, I never had a name for it. Its basically ten people vs everything mankind has ever fought or thought of.

These are the main characters:

MAIN CAST
Jim

There's always a leader in a series, and Jim fits the bill. Good hearted, kind, and intelligent, Jim is a natural born leader. He's also not a bad guy to have at your back in a battle royale.

Mr. Cheese

There's trigger happy, and there's hot tempered, and thats Mr. Cheese in a nutshell. Having joined his father in a military operation in the Persian Gulf at infancy, Mr. Cheese is a walking library of defense mechanisms, battle strategies, and a profound knowledge of fire arms that would have Dick Cheney and John McCain drooling. He means well, and would not hesitate to give his life for his school, country, planet, and most often the series continuity.

Cassandra.

On the topic of love, one would think Cassandra loves Jim due to his great personality or courage. Nope, neither. Its the possibility of marrying Jim and making him her slave... and not servant wise, either... On the upside, she's a great fighter in the heat of battle.

Principal Horan E. Wartz

One would think in a school like Poin Les Middle School or Reelie Poin Les High School, the Principal would be no nonsense and on edge. Not with Horan E. Wartz. This critically overweight man has done all but himself, men and women alike. The two forces of nature in the multiverse that can stop him or order him around are also his greatest fear and weaknes: his mother, and a crumb of Boston Creme Pie.

Teacher Jacques

The de facto principal of the school, Jacques is everything you'd want from a leader. Fair, firm, and quick to make reasonable decisions is what he's all about, as well as being an expert in battle tactics. And at a school like his, he's gonna need it.

Eugene

No one knows where this guy came from, and no one's ever bothered to find out, for that matter. Often described by his comrades as "that creepy guy who always dies for comic relief", pretty much all he does is say "Neer" and look on, waiting for whatever demise he'll meet whenever it comes. Hey, as he says it, "Neer..."

Dicknose

His name pretty much sums up his major feature: his nose. Following "The Zoo Incident", his nose has been used on many situations for good use, such as an extra arm, a grappling hook, a rope, and a seemingly broken record of the phrase "Suck my Nose." Despite this, he can hold his own in a brawl pretty well.

Fatass Freddy

As his name says, Theodore "Fatass" Freddy isn't the slimmest twig on the tree. In fact, his size often puts him in trouble, as well as getting him out of it. However, while the other students just shrug off the constant battles and dangers, Freddy has become overwhelmed by his fears, and is often seen with a horrified gaze on that overwhelmed face of his.

Curly

Often blamed for igniting the conflicts of the American Revolution, the Alamo battle, all three world wars(the third coming soon), and the War on Terrorism, Curly would not hesitate to destroy all things in existence or the continuity for a laugh. Despite this, he has a strong sense of honor, and wouldn't hesitate to make difficult choices... when its convenient for him, anyway.

Wolfgang

The anti-hero of the main cast, Wolfgang has a strong belief in Darwinism and survival of the fittest. Accomplished in guerilla and open warfare, Wolfgang is a force to be reckoned with. Whilst he does have a sexually active side, he is determined and usually focused on the task at hand.

Let me know if you wanna know more!

 

I'd rather SEE the work than be told about it. Lot of people have lists of characters they've come up with - the test is in what they are capable of doing with them.

But your title really makes me NOT want to, because its extremely uncreative. You should come up with a more creative title, one that fits well in the phrase 'Have you read <title>?' Or 'I'm reading <title>' If someone asks 'what are you laughing at?' and you say 'the Comix', they'll ask 'What comics?'

--Moony

 

This.

Take this as constructive criticism because it'll probably sound pretty harsh.

After reading your post, I really didn't get far before not wanting to read more. Show me the work. You can tell all the stories you want to about a book but giving hard proof of the book is the only way to sell it. I'm working on a book with a friend right now. I could tell you what it's all about and the characters but what will get people interested is showing it off.

Go into this like a presentation. You don't want to compare it to something that already exists. In your first sentence about the book, you compare it to South park, but not as crude. So thus, it's not South park. SP is about being stupid, crude, etc. Your book is something entirely different. The characters may have similarities but that's about it.

Again, your title. Uncreative. That title would work for a book that makes fun of comics, or spoofs them. But your title should be something related with your story.

You got any pages to show? Some strips? Show us like you would if you were going to a business to sell your idea. Let's see it!

 

Seems pretty bad.

 

I love bluntness when it's referring to other people.

Also, how are things going with Megan? Will she be a creative influence on your comic?

 

Cool story bro

 

Comics are dead, turn it into a video game instead.

 

You definitely need at least one or two sentences in that post dedicated to the pitch for your comic. Why should we be interested? What's this comic about? Hit us hard and fast with that information and we might still be interested enough to read about the characters (though we'd rather see them).

Elaborating on that, I had a hard time figuring out what the setting was. "Okay it's a school setting...wait...is it? Why does it keep mentioning battle like it's an action comic?" That sort of thing. I couldn't imagine how the characters worked together at all. Where are their dynamics?

Yeah, saying it was south park but not crude is....well the crudeness is just a BIG part of South Park so what are you left with? It's like trying to pitch a superhero comic by saying "It's set in a town like Gotham City but without all the crime and corruption" Just...tell us what it is.

 

I echo most of everything already stated. You keep referring to battle; why are high schoolers battling? What are they battling? Who are the battling? And does every character a generic canned line about them being a good fighter?

There's no mention of the story; is there a story? You've worked on this for a year and have given some very nondescript bios an 0 story elements. You mentioned a character was around for all 3 world wars... but don't give any reason why he was or his age, physical looks. Is he immortal or just old? Time traveler?

The comix is incredibly lame and nothing but a giggle fest.

 

Ummm....?

 

As someone who likes to think up ideas for new characters and comic stories myself, I have to agree with just about everything posted here. It's easy to come up with a list of characters, hell I could fill a topic with all the different original character's I've created over the years. But without any sort of story or setting or anything else, those characters lose their importance.

And if this is a comic of some sort, it means that there will be drawings. So sharing those along with character descriptions would be a big step in the right direction.

 

This was the major bit that caught me. Is this High School in a constant state of war?
I find it very hard to believe this took more than a few minutes to come up with, it may sound harsh, but thats just my opinion so feel free to disregard.

 

All the above, and lose the names like "Dicknose" and Fatass Freddy"... You want us to care about your characters, don't make them walking jokes. Also, lose the Eugene character... Kenny from South Park was funny for all of one season, taking the same characteristic for a new character does little to improve the joke.

Like Wreckgar said, take this constructivley because we're not out to make you bury the story - Just encouraging you to work harder.

 

Not to bad

 

I read it and I don't understand any of it. It's not at all relatable in any way. It sounds like you just threw a bunch of characters together that have no sense being together.

I think you need to come up with a sound concept for the comic, THEN come up with characters that fit the concept. Otherwise it just becomes a disjointed mess that people won't care about.

 

It's always better to show people something than to tell them. Throw us a couple of sample strips and you can get some useful feedback. Based on this... nothing to say. If you really want to tell us about it, then tell us about it. Where's it set? When? What happens? Is it a comedy? Drama? Who are we supposed to root for, if anyone?

 

If I had the time right now, I would rule 34 your characters. Just to be the first to. With a name like Dicknose, the possibilities are endless.

 

You're so internet savvy, you.

 

It's not something I'm proud of.

But I would be proud of making porn of characters that don't even exist yet. Yes, I'd be proud of myself for that. I live a sad, sad life.