give yourself some time to heal and try to communicate with new people. I use video chat rooms for that purpose, there are many people from different countries. Easy in use app. I think it's easy way to find new friends and people with similar interests. Also you can find new hobby. It worked for me.
Update as of today: The bank account he showed the lawyers did not have the $31k he got from the refinance. So now they have to see if they can get him to show where he actually put the money. And the lawyer said he was making 25K more than he told me. Because they lawyer finally got around to asking me why I signed the papers for the refinance and I said he said he couldn't afford the house anymore. And the lawyer was like even with his job at google where he made $95k? And I was like umm, yeah I had no idea.... . I can't believe he had such a temper tantrum over the $5 target leggings refusing to pay for my growing child's clothes and he had that much money. Plus, whatever he's making in crypto.
So... you're saying that he had jobs and sources of income you weren't aware of? Wow. Honestly ILD you're better off without this guy. Especially since he doesn't seem to give a crap about his own kid. I hope the lawyer puts him through the ringer and you and your daughter get everything you deserve. This man's actions have just been appalling all the way around and I say that as both a husband and a father. I'm sorry you're having to go through this though.
Yeah, he didn't tell me anything about it..... it's a level of crazy I didn't know he had in him. But, at least I'll get more in child support now!
Good to hear you're hanging in there and that things generally seem to be looking brighter, even if the going is a bit rough because at this point it's obvious he's just stonewalling. Do not back down. You mean whatever he was making in Crypto, because that shit nosedived just the other day across the board. As for the rest, I'm no expert but I suspect a lot of it turned into literally disposable income being spent on e-services like microtransactions and more risque' material if his 'current girlfriend' was any indication by your recolection. I suspect an analysis of his credit card history over the past year or two would be highly entertaining.
They sent me his last bank statement to look over and see if I can find the utility bills so we can work out how much I spend on that. And there was tons of fucking zelle; and cash app to someone named QueenT. I can't even..... like why? Why does he feel he needs some sluts attention to be happy? He has to pay them too. He had me at home for years and he ignored me. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he was making $93k and instead of making a family, maybe another kid, or putting money into his current child and her hobbies, he felt that paying whores to get off was the way to make himself. It literally does not comprehend..... ALSO, so he was making $93k, stole $31k and ran off. THERE WAS A DEPOSIT FROM HIS MOTHER for $3k. I am assuming he has his parents pay for his lawyer. This fucker just manipulates everyone.
I'm guessing that he spent most of his salary on online "women", because he was too scared to have an actual one - you. He was too afraid of real life, so he threw the money, that was supposed to go to support his family, to online fantasy. Just a guess, or theory, based on what you've said about him so far here. Once the divorce is final, you're going to need a team to help educate you on financial issues, and give you advice so you can make the decisions to best support you and your kid. And, yes, I know you can make those decisions, and you will make them, because you're a very smart woman. Never forget that.
It sounds like he probably felt like he was trapped in your marriage but instead of being an adult and talking it over with you, he instead chose a much more heinous path. I think part of it may involve what you've mentioned earlier with his mom potentially pressuring him to sire a grandkid and, well, it didn't solve anything and here we are.
this is definitely a terrible situation, and I would like everything to be fine with you. And on this forum you can find a lot of support and kind words. However, how can you still not understand that someone's decision is not an indicator of you from the negative side. You start a relationship with another man. Maybe your ex wants to come back to you. but do you need it?
Sometimes people just don't fit together. They are good on their own, but they can't exist together. Thank them and let them go. There will be a good man in your life.
Update: Not really sure what's going on with the lawyer. I signed a paper allowing the lawyer to talk to my mom and brother (who is a lawyer, allowed to practice in NY and NJ). But, now no one is talking to me. I got a new invoice for $2,500 from the lawyer on Friday with a due date of Friday, 7/15. I replied to the email with "what's this for? I don't even know what you and my mom are discussing and I'm not paying this. Tell me what it's for." I still haven't heard anything back, probably because my mom got the same email and paid it. The lawyer already had $4,250 from my mom. What can they be doing that needs another $2,500???? Besides that issue my ex comes over for about 2-3 hours 1 day a week to see my kid. The last time he's here, he's on his phone and I walked by to get to the kitchen he quickly exed out of the chat app he was in. I said to him this was time to spend with his daughter to stop messaging hoes when he's sitting next to her. It's really painful to me to watch that he can't stop talking to whoever this girl is for a few hours.
I have a couple friend that took on foster kids for a while. The bio-mom got one day a week to video chat with her kid, and all she did was put her laptop up to the tv, and expected the kid to just sit there and watch tv while she walked off and did whatever, instead of, you know, talking to their kid. Best part was one time, when she did that and came back after the movie was over to check on her kid only to find that he’d left the chat over an hour earlier. You can’t stop loser assholes from being loser assholes. Anyway, sorry to hear this jerk is still giving you trouble. Hope it gets better for you.
Reading this specific case, I’m convinced that moms (or dads) like this shouldn’t be allowed to have kids, or should ideally really consider and choose not to have kids. Eh, ah well.
Yeah. She lost her kid the first time due to neglect. Half his teeth were rotted out at age 5, cuz she fed him nothing but junk food. She did manage to get her kid back & has kept him for about a year now. The one thing DHS (I think) told my friends, was that these people don’t have to be good parents or nice people. They just have to fulfill the barest of basic needs. The bar is really low.
Which actually makes it pretty crazy to think about how bad things have to get for CPS and the like to step in.
CPS is very much a case by case basis in each state. In my state’s case (Oklahoma) it is very hit or miss. One time, CPS put the kid (or kids?) back into the abusive dad’s home, and it turned tragic. Anyway, going back to my original point, and to keep it hovering on the rules as best as I can (because this thread shouldn’t be locked), I do actually have a good amount of respect for couples that don’t/choose not to have kids. Most of the time they have either careers and/or egos that would get in the way.
