So, the loan on the house is now $30k more, but he swears it's cheaper in the long run because interest is less. The lawyer today said although it was a dick thing to do to trick me into the refinance, it's not illegal. So, now after talking to 2 lawyers, I have to decide which one to go with. 1 wants to make the separation agreement itemized; like he agrees to pay for certain things/bills, 1 wants to make it a set amount of money a month. Anyone with experience, know which is the way to go?
Once again I have no experience in the matter but I feel like going the set amount of money is going to be the safer bet to protect against the guy flaking as he either gives you the money or he doesn't and gets in trouble again. Itemizing I just feel like it could backfire somehow or he could weasel his way out of giving you money in some way.
I feel the same, but my parents are worried that if HOA fees, or price of living continues to go up, then he will be like too bad, I paid the agreement. And the lawyers charge per minute/hour, so I'm trying desperately not to call them and ask lol.
Well, I am not a lawyer (I avoided that fate back in the 90's), but, anything he says, you should take with a HUGE grain of salt. The main thing is: can YOU on YOUR income afford the house? Don't depend on him, don't rely on his promises, because he has proven to be a total flake, and not to be trusted. This is really what is has come to, because of his bad behavior, a business agreement. Everything he offers, must be in writing, and documented. He can not be trusted, with his word, to protect your interests, or mini ILD's interests.
I guess it would depend on what exactly he pays for, since unfortunately we are experiencing both bad inflation and thanks to global events gas is the most expensive it's been in over a decade.
There's no "if" about it, cost of living will continue to go up. My first thought was to go the itemized route; if your HOA fees were $100/mo., and then they go up to $130/mo., and he's responsible for paying that bill, he's still on the hook for $130/mo. If he's on the other plan, I would think you'll have to go back to the lawyer periodically to get a new agreement for more money as your cost of living increases.
I'd go with the itemized. Your ex is going to try to weasel out of your daughters increasing expenses, and going with the set monthly amount will make it easy for him to do that. And get your custody agreement or his relinquishment of parental rights in writing ASAP. When he feels the noose tightening, he may try to get revenge by taking your daughter. But so nice of him to give you the brush to clean his fucking clock with. --Moony
The lawyer had agreed to the itemized list which is why we went back to the 1st lawyer I had talked to. I had a meeting today and they said they would not do itemized, they do monetary, but put an 8% increase of cost of living to it. So, I'm pretty upset because they literally lied to me to get the money to retain them. Now they got it, they doing whatever. But, they are saying they can put a minimum amount and then he can just continue to pay for everything, but the money amount is in case he just stops paying everything, they need proof he agreed to give me a money amount. I guess that makes sense? They also told me in the meeting, that my ex finally reached out to them last minute to say he will be getting a lawyer to talk to them. When I called him to ask why he needs a lawyer, he said i was the one who had to bring lawyers into it and now he has to worry I'm going to take every last penny from him . I'm like bro, what? Anyway, he came over tonight to help me replace the filters for the HVAC, and when he was here, I made a list on things he'd agreed to pay and told him to share it with his lawyer so we can work something out without going to court. Full custody for my child was on the list. And he took the list with him, so hopefully he is willing to give it a chance and not fight about it.
Just remember at this point, you gotta protect yourself. Don't trust him or believe a word he says to you. Let him show you instead.
He's the one who pulled legal shit first, with the transferring of bills and cars etc into your name without permission. You're just making sure you don't get further screwed by him. You might want to stop talking to him for now, tho, lest you accidentally give him ammo or clues about you and your lawyer's strategy - the noose is tightening and he's now going to start getting desperate. Let everything go through the lawyers. --Moony
Locks are changed. I had a question about the price of the electronics in the house as the lawyers needed it, and he hung up on me. When I called back it said his number was changed or disconnected. I then realized that he could easily disconnect my phone or internet and come here and I'd have no way to call for help. I also signed myself up for self defense classes.
