MasterZero Ruins Age of Extinction

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by MasterZero, Jul 8, 2014.

  1. MasterZero

    MasterZero Taking a Break

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    Hey, did you like AOE? Yes? So did I!

    Hey, did you like AOE? No? Well...Uhh...Everyone has a right to their own opinion. Maybe we'll agree on something else.

    Do you want to see what would happen if AOE was written by a lazy, self righteous, narcissist who takes everything as a joke? Well, you're about to read it anyways. But...I mean...you can stop whenever. I ain't forcing you to stomach this.
    Hey, maybe you'll like it

    Note: I'm not saying this is the 'PERFECT' edition. Heavens no. I won't even say this is the superior version. Its simply how I would have done it. Feel free to rip it a new one or praise it or whatever.

    Opening Prologue​


    The movie starts on board one of the Creators' ship. Diagrams and 3D holograms of six beasts (T-rex, stegosaurus, triceratops, raptor, pterodactyl, and a apatosaurus) are shown on several different computer screens as the shadows of far bigger, more demonic beasts are whipped by metal tendrils and electrocuted by glowing pikes just off screen. Their roars of agony are heard as they are tortured and forced into pens.

    One of the Creators speaks in a garbled, distorted voice. Subtitles provide the meaning "We are done here. Begin the cyberforming." The opening then plays as the original did, with the Creators bombing Earth and collecting the metal.

    Transformers
    Age of Extinction​

    As written by a fan, so you know it won't be good​


    Ratchet is in a large, dark room. There's just enough light to illuminate the lone figure, highlighting his many injuries. Large gashes, exposed wiring, his hands cut off at the wrists. His optics flick, low on energon...

    He hears a voice. Its Sideswipe's. "Ratchet?" Ratchet surveys the room. He looks at the sealed door. There's no way to see Sideswipe, only hear his voice. "I was able to escape! I'm going to get you out of there, and we're going to find Optimus Prime!" Ratchet is silent. Deep in thought. "Ratchet? Can you hear me? Do you know where we can find Optimus?"

    Ratchet closes his optics and replies. "I will never tell you, Lockdown."

    The doors open, and Lockdown walks in. He lets out a laugh, and while it starts with Sideswipe's voice, it converts to his true voice by the end. Lockdown comments that it was a waste of time copying Sideswipe's voice patterns, but is happy to tell Ratchet he has a new pair of arm blades out of it. As he walks in, on his side hangs the optics of Dino, Roadbuster, and several other Autobots.

    Ratchet declares that he will never tell him anything about Optimus, even if he did know. Lockdown replies that he knows, and drives his knew armblade (a dark mirror of Sideswipe's) through Ratchet's spark, killing him.

    Cut to Texas, Cade Yeager is off to visit his employee, Lucas Flannery, leaving his daughter alone one Saturday afternoon. She waves goodbye, picking up her mail and video calling her boyfriend. It takes a moment for him to accept the call, but soon, Shane appears, his purple and white car behind him. The two talk, joking and casually flirting.

    Cade and Lucas follow the events of the movie for the most part. They go into a rundown theater, Lucas gets a minor concussion from Cade's football throw, they find a rusty, damaged tuck, Cade buys it.

    Back at home, Tessa is about to open her letter about whether or not she'll get financial aid, and Shane is quick to give her comforting words. He honestly believes she got it. He truly thinks the world of his girlfriend. She opens it...and finds she was denied. Before Shane can tell her how sorry he is, and how he'll help however he can, Tessa's father returns with a truck and more junk. Already upset, she goes to confront her father about wasting money.

    Shane ends the call. But he never actually moves to press the mouse. 'Shane' stares at the black screen...and his form distorts for a moment, before vanishing completely.

    The movie then plays much like it did originally. Attinger covers up his dealings from the President, before meeting Lockdown on his ship and then leaving, Cade wakes up Optimus, Lucas gets a second minor concussion from Optimus' gun, Cade tells Lucas to go get parts so he can start repairing Optimus. The bruised Lucas obeys, begrudgingly.

    The biggest different is that when Optimus talks about the concept of 'sparks' he doesn't say they also contain the memories of his kind. That they are merely the essence of life within them. Cade still points how similar it is to a soul, or even a heart.

    The Act ends as Lockdown is in his private chamber. He marvels at his recent acquisition, the walls of his chambers littered with the heads of beasts he has killed, the holographic, 3D representations of the weapons he's stolen, and perhaps most importantly, his hands, which have been modified to copy many of the personal weapons of his Cybertronian prey. His right hand transforms to resemble Ratchet's buzzsaw. He hears the roar of the weapon, making him smile in approval, before Attinger calls. The human tells him that Optimus has been found and where he is.

    Lockdown is surprised to find that human intelligence MAY be a real thing, before he leaves his chambers to get to work.
     
  2. Moy

    Moy Constructicons!

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    I like it, but I still like the original idea of Lockdown collecting sparks. A d because Dino is my favorite Autobot I would have him give Lockdown a good fight before having his spark taken out.

    The opening is real good though, I don't think it's bad art all.


    .
     
  3. Achilles1943

    Achilles1943 Well-Known Member

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    my version in coming today
     
  4. Megatronus209

    Megatronus209 owner of the Hippy puppy!

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    Mine if I use the prologue for the opening of my comic? It's gold to me along with The rest of it
     
  5. MasterZero

    MasterZero Taking a Break

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    Sparks are cool, but cha can't stab someone with a spark.

    ...Well, I mean...I guess you could try. Tell me how that one goes.

    Its almost 3 AM over here, so you have time, at least by my clock.

    Go for it. Link it back to me, if you can.
     
  6. Achilles1943

    Achilles1943 Well-Known Member

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    I like this! nice job!
     
  7. MasterZero

    MasterZero Taking a Break

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    Honestly, if more versions besides yours are made I half think we should create a new thread for AOE Rewrites. It would mean having to share space, but I don't want anyone feeling like we're clogging up the data-space.
     
  8. Megatronus209

    Megatronus209 owner of the Hippy puppy!

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    Will do, it may be awhile though
     
  9. Achilles1943

    Achilles1943 Well-Known Member

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    we could try...
     
  10. Kraken

    Kraken Is a vegiesaurus, Lex. Veteran

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    I like the prologue. The Ratchet scene sounds distressing. Really though these should be going in the fan fiction section.
     
  11. EnergonWaffles

    EnergonWaffles Autobot's Head Chef Veteran

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    Dino is confirmed dead in your perfect version- this hurts MZ.

    Crosshairs and Dino need to meet so they can out-asshole each other!