Just need to vent....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by LamboTwinLove, Oct 19, 2012.

  1. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    I just really need to vent and honestly don't have anyone to talk to about a lot of things...

    I'm almost 29 and I still live with my parents. The job doesn't pay me enough to move out, I live in Maryland, not cheap but where is cheap these days? I am severely under paid at my job.

    I am currently doing my job and picking up the slack for at least 3 other people who can't be bothered to actually do their jobs right. My boss shoves others peoples work at me, and I have been doing more work then my supervisor for months now. Work stresses me to no end, but I will admit I have it pretty good there. No dress code, GREAT health insurance, I build up vaca and personal time fast, they are flexible on so much like if we have to leave early for whatever reason they don't use our hours if we leave after noon. So really I would not have much to complain about if I was paid enough to move out and be on my own.

    And what burns even more is I know for a fact that people who don't do nearly the amount of work I do and aren't nearly as dependable as I am and started after me are making more then me. One person is making significantly more then me and she messes up everything she touches.

    So I go to work, bust my ass to live paycheck to paycheck and then I go home to my parents who always ask me when I'm going to move out, when am I going to get a new job. And my father had decided he can just walk into my room and go through my things when he feels like it.

    So I leave one stress and come back to another. I can't escape it and I feel like I'm losing my mind. And if I had options for roommates it would be a little easier maybe but I don't. All my friends are married or live in VA...

    I'm just really starting to feel like there's no point to me being that person who shows up early, stays late when needed and busts my ass to go above and beyond because it really isn't getting my anywhere but walked all over.

    Wow, that was longer then I was intending... I just don't know what to do anymore.
     
  2. FatalT 71

    FatalT 71 Mr. JazzHunter

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    Sounds like you're really burnt out - which is understandable considering all the stressors in your life.

    Are you able to go to your supervisor or other superior, and ask for a raise based on your perfomance and the workload you're shouldering? I know that's a dicey situation sometimes, just wondering if that option is even available to you.

    Whatever you do - don't stop being the good worker you appear to be. Keep busting your hump, because if you slack off - opportunities that might appear might just go away, and they'll have an excuse not to give them to you.

    It's frustrating, I know. I don't live in the area, but are there opportunities to perhaps find better-paying work?

    Chin up - we've got your back.
     
  3. Onslaught24

    Onslaught24 Stop on red but leave on amber Moderator News Staff

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    i know how you feel. i personally don't have a job but i've been in that situation multiple times in different environments and i hear countless stories about lazy dumbasses that work with my dad. he fixes everyone's mistakes and computers and (from what i've heard) does damn near all the work. meanwhile the idiots with a higher paycheck are screwing up their computers as if they were five year olds and getting fired for having porn on their work devices.

    hang in there. hopefully you'll find a much better job that pays more. or your supervisor will see how much work you've been doing and how much the others haven't :) 
     
  4. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    Well, we did reviews at the start of the year and I got a stellar review. My boss sung my praises and we all got a raise but none of us got anything big. Mine gave me 900 more a year. And when they did that my boss made it see like that was all they could do and that they really tried hard to make it so they could give us that.

    My supervisor knows my situation and technically she is in the same boat. I mean she makes more then me but she should be making MUCH more then she does since she has been there so long and all.

    I actually went to school for graphic design and I'm not actually doing that here. But, I did speak with the graphic design department and was told I can send some of my work and they would look at it. So I did and I haven't heard anything on it yet. I'm probably going to send the head of that department an e-mail next week.

    I've been looking for something else, but not as much as I should be because honestly like I said I have it pretty good there with everything but the pay. But I have 7 days off at the end of november for a vaca and I've decided that obviously I am going to recharge those 7 days but I'm also going to go to the bank and see what I qualify for for a home loan and what not then so I can figure out what I need to do that. And till then I'll just take out the frustrations on my chubby self till I lose all the weight lol... Some days it just gets tough feeling so stuck.


    Exactly what I deal with. Idiots making more then me to screw up and my my job harder. When they screw up nothing happens to them but it means I have to redo the work I did.

    My supervisor knows. She's in the office with me... I dunno... I've been hoping she would talk to our boss and be like look if we don't do something for Nichole she's going to end up leaving.

    And before I got there they went through 6 people who couldn't do the job. And I can do it, I can do everything my supervisor can. I can handle being the only one in the layout department for a week and get the work of 2 people done with little to no problems... But it seems lately people like me gets asked for more and more and more with no return.
     
  5. CyclonuS_ZerO

    CyclonuS_ZerO Uni-con

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    I feel ya man. Just gotta stay the course is all, and yeah, I know that's what you've been doing according to your posts, but you'll get what's coming to you one way or the other, just stay true to yourself. And like the one person suggested, see if you can get a raise or a promotion or something, cause you obviously are the first person they would give any type of advancement to. Stay the course my friend...stay the course!
     
  6. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    Thank you, I definitely don't want to stop being true to me. I was not raised to be lazy, I was raised to be a women that works hard for what I want. And I feel I have been doing so for so long. It's just hard seeing so little coming back when I feel I really need to be able to move forward. And I understand that thing happen when they are meant to, it's just really tough when you're waiting for your turn and while you're waiting you're not surrounded by much good.

    I'm trying to concentrate on the positives, like I'm 4 months without a cigarette, I have gone from a size 22 to just so close to an 18 (I can get them on I just can't button them yet but soon!) But it does get tough to remember to stay the course.

    Thank you for the reminder.
     
  7. transtrekkie

    transtrekkie On the level.

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    You also mentioned that you will be looking into seeing what you can afford with regards to buying a house. I definitely recommend this because I had no idea what it would cost and when I found out I was shocked because it was so little. Now I have a two bedroom house all to myself for what I was paying in rent at an apartment I had. The apartment was not much more than what I was paying to my parents previously.

    I'll also second what others said about not compromising your standards. I did that with my last job when morale went out the window and it's been a hard road living up to my previous high standards. Also, have you looked for other jobs in the area? You might be surprised at what's available. Anyway, just some ideas, hope they help.
     
  8. Tyjos

    Tyjos Just another Collector

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    Been in that burnt out situation lately, been dealing with Symptoms of Severe Depression because of it. Unfortunately I face a lot more roadblocks with mine...at least there are potential alternative options here....

    Hope you get to feeling better! And Try to stay positive!
     
  9. Darkbox

    Darkbox DNA

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    Just read the Automatic Millionaire by David Bach. It's never to late to start saving for retirement.
     
  10. DaraRex2.0

    DaraRex2.0 I'd totally eat the leaf

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    You got some good adivice for you in this thread, but I'll add a lil more. When I started my job I literally had hardly any clothes except hand me downs, I worked a butt load for very little - and I don't exagerate when I say worked A LOT, for very little. But I stayed my course, afforded some nice things for my home, and my family, and a few years later I'm able to afford awesome things.

    It's hard to keep at it, but good things come to those who persevere. When it comes down to it all they'll keep the people that are loyal and competent.
     
  11. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    Yep, I will be doing that at the end of November when I have a week off and my parents will be in Hawaii for their 30th anniversary. So I will be taking that time to recharge and figure things out. I know my credit is good I just do not make enough to afford rent on my own here. Nothing cheaper then a grand and I only make 1500 a month. I have a car payment till 2016 so after the car, gas (work and back is a 70 mile trip each day), phone, food and other bills I'm not left with much. I can generally splurge on one big toy a month or so just something to say here you go, you made it another month. I've also been trying to get big purchases out of the way before moving for stuff I will need. I bought myself a desk that is in the basement still in the box waiting for the day it has a real home stuff like that so I won't have to buy them when I move out. I'm probably going to try and look at forclosures a coworker of mine bought a 5 bedroom for 190,000 so I'm gonna see what I can get from the bank and see what I need to make it work.


    I hope you get to feeling better too, I have moments where I feel the depression creeping in and then I have to beat myself up with an hour long work out. I have enough to be down about I can't afford to let the depression hit or I would be in bed crying and gaining back the weight I have lost.

    I really am trying to stick with it because like I said this job has it perks, and while it has the frustrations I don't mind taking on more because I know I can do it. I think next review time if I haven't found something that pays more that I can't pass up I will be explaining my situation and seeing what can be done.
     
  12. Silk Spectre

    Silk Spectre The Evil Queen

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    Lambo,

    My advice when considering buying a house is this:

    Make sure you can afford it. And I don't mean the initial price, but the months after; the regular bills that come every week out of the month, the maintenance when something breaks down or needs replaced: from the roof to the water heater to a/c, etc.....

    I bought a home a few years ago, due to needing to part ways with my father. Paid a damn good price for it. My payments on it aren't that bad. But I bought it when I didn't have the job to keep up with it. I made enough to barely scrape by. It was fine at first, but money issues caught up with me fast. I've struggled, I've gone into debt (nothing major, but I was raised against getting myself into situations I can't get out of, money wise - my father had no money himself, but was very strict about that in his own life)....

    The stress did damage to my health and caused some of my hair to fallout, and more crying and fits of anger than I care to remember - I can't say I regret it for him, because my father happily remarried and is living a damn good life elsewhere, but for me...... I was wrong to dive in without doing the long term math. "Surely I'll be in a better position soon" was my line of thinking......... Not soon enough.

    I know your parents seem to believe you should move out, and that obviously makes your circumstances different, but never, ever, ever let anyone make you feel ashamed to be living at home. And try not to feel ashamed yourself. More and more people are doing that as the economy's gone down the tubes. And frankly? If it's possible to stay at home when you know you can't afford a place of your own? I think that's a better decision for someone to make than for them to get into debt above their head when they can't afford it.
     
  13. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    I completely understand that, I'm simply going to go to the bank to see what I qualify for at this moment and what I need to work on to get me there. I have a car payment till 2016. So I'm thinking I need to come up with a plan that gets me ready to do it after the car is paid off and I have some money freed up. I just need to get the numbers and stuff to find a place to start from.

    Financially it makes sense for me to stay here as long as I can... sanity wise it's killing me. Everything is always conditional for me here, the space I have is not enough. My room is so tiny. I would love to have the basement to myself but my mom has taken the room down there because its cooler downstairs and nothing I can do about it. There's other issues with living with them but I realize I should put up with it till I am able to move out without getting myself in another bad situation.
     
  14. Tyjos

    Tyjos Just another Collector

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    I've been dealing with my burnt out situation by trying to reignite some interest in the hobby itself, course family stress getting to me and dealing with my severe depression that my relatives have noticed....I do hope I can get better soon for sure. Get sick to death of these damned moods I have low moods that just drain my energy and make me a borderline bitter person at times.

    I'm stuck living with my folks as well,but since i have disabilities and deal with a total breakdown in communication between my folks [even to the point of dealing with being threatened with Physical violence directed at me for things] I can't really just go out and buy a house especially since I'm stuck where I am. [I've long lived by the personal rule of If I'm going to endure I might as well make myself comfortable] Just sucks being the disabled kid out of 3 when my brother and sister don't have any problems at all and have their own families.

    Good thing I'm bouncing back from those things and glad I'm smart enough to be off line when I have a very very low mood that keeps me from posting tons of emo sounding threads I try very hard to avoid that. That burns me out too.

    It got really bad lately cause I just turned 28 in September....just one of those things you get to where you can barely stand it anymore and have to wonder just how the hell everyone else deals with things like that.

    Just gotta get back into the hobby seriously, that's keeping me sane.

    Still hope you can find some good options to help out your situation.
     
  15. AutoBobby

    AutoBobby The Collector

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    I know exactly how you feel when it comes to your job.At my job,I'm the first one there in the morning,and usually the last one to leave in the afternoon.They keep adding more work for me to do,but I usually don't get any extra help with it because everyone else is too worried about getting out as soon as possible.

    I didn't move out of my parents house until my mid 20's.I hope everything works out for you.
     
  16. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Well-Known Member

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    Not gonna lie here. I'm still living with my parents for pretty much the same reason, as even with all of the other variables aside, I simply can't afford to live on my own in the area I'm in, nor can I afford to pick up & move somewhere cheaper or more favorable at this point because of the costs associated with it.

    On the positive side, I have a steady job right now where there's chances for overtime (I can almost always work a 6th day + more during the week when it gets frantic & leaving the job to move away from this place would be ******ed), and much like with Lambo, its nice to not have a dress code other than being practical, as I can literally wear the same clothes I'd wear anywhere with the addition of steel toe boots & earplugs when I need em. In light of all this, I'm in the process of saving money for an apartment (and move since I honestly don't wanna live on my own where I'm at right now), and the longer I can stay with them, the longer I can actually accumulate funds to make my progression a reality because my expenses are insanely lower than what they'd otherwise be.

    Plus to be honest, the amount of stress I have right now isn't anywhere near what it was when I was unemployed, so I think I have it pretty good. Granted, the amount of abuse I took from family while I didn't have work isn't something I'm gonna forgive or something that simply went away, but at the end of the day it really is in the past, and the more I focus on that instead of my future, the less chance I have of actually getting there.
     
  17. LamboTwinLove

    LamboTwinLove Lambo Assassin

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    Yeah, my sisters are both out on their own. But one only because her boyfriend pays for everything. And my older sister bought her house in Myrtle Beach where it's a bit cheaper and she has my Aunt helping her all the time. So both my sisters have always had someone in there corner paying or helping and my parents and what not don't do the same for me.

    Yep, that's me at job. First in, I'll stay as long as I have to to get the job done and I make less then people who are always leaving early, coming in late, calling out or just can't do their damn job. And it's really not fair. But of course the ones who are like this all have kids. Is that the key?? If I had a kid would I get paid more??

    Honestly, i think the stress I have at home is worse then when I was unemployed. My dad is saying how I'm getting too comfortable at my current job... aren't you supposed to try to be comfortable at a job? I mean yeah they are dicking me in the pay area but I do have a lot of nice perks here. I dunno. It just get hard dealing with sometimes.