Just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way? Some things are huge life changes, some things are dumb and small. But, I freaking every tiny thing I did and regret and it stew on it. And like, I know there is no point, since I can't go back and change anything and I can only learn from it. We'll all be dead someday anyway, so when it comes down to it, it really didn't matter. But, damn if sometimes I don't hate myself for doing dumb shit in the past. I know too many people that are like "nah, I never think about those kinds of things". Am I really strange for spending too much time thinking about regrets? Just wondering if anyone feels that way.
Nah. Not in my opinion. Just introspective, and grown relative to the points in your life where you made those mistakes, It’s rough feeling stuck in the past and hyper-analyzing every single choice you’ve ever made, but my only advice is to make better ones now, and work towards decisions and goals you actually *want*. it’s more productive than just dwelling.
When I think of the future, I just think of all the things that can go wrong. Looking ahead doesn't help either.
Yeah, I have legitimate regrets. Also have had a lot of things happen in my life that I wish hadn't. I used to drink a lot to escape the pain. That was my coping mechanism. Talking about it helps. Find someone who you can air it out to. Psychiatrist or close friend. That was my mistake. Keeping it all in. It was hard to learn how to even talk to someone but I eventually learned and it helped me out a lot.
I can't afford a psychiatrist and I don't have any close friends besides my 4 year old. Shit, I'm screwed.
No, no. You're not screwed. Think positive. See if you can get some financial aid to see someone, if that's what you want to do. There are assistance programs and things like that. Many options. Another thing that helps me is working out regularly. You unload a shit-ton of stress that way. I'd go baty without it. Keep your mind occupied. Study something that interests you in-between whatever you are doing. Whatever it is learn more about it. Just not something that will worry you like politics or something. Pick up a craft, paint, solve math problems, just something to keep your mind going. Big believer in taking care of your mind and body. Both of those things in tandem improve the quality of life.
It's pretty common to regret the past really. Anyone who claims they don't have regrets is more than likely putting on a front since most people don't like to speak about stuff like that publicly because society deems it as some kind of weakness. Personally I think it makes us human because none of us are perfect. There's no perfect people in this world. Only perfect intentions. That said; it's probably not super healthy to focus on your regrets to the point that you're stewing on it. The best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on making better choices in the here and now. I always take life one day at a time because we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. That doesn't mean you shouldn't plan for your future but at the same time, you should always keep yourself grounded in the present and the choices you're making today. It does no good to dwell on past mistakes nor does it help to get too caught up in the future. Focus on the hear and now and find an outlet for your stress. Either someone you can talk with or something that helps to destress you when you get in those kinds of moods. If you can do both that'd be even better. Like I said above; it's fine to look to the future, but you're better served by focusing on the here and now. The things you can control. Unless you can see every possible future you can't possibly plan for everything that can go wrong so it's best to take the things that can go wrong one day at a time as well. That's not to say that you shouldn't have some common sense things in place like emergency savings or something but focusing and planning too much for events that may never occur simply because they could isn't helpful either. No one knows what the future holds for them so it's not beneficial to dwell on it in an unhealthy way.
I've been feeling that way lately but then I catch myself dwelling on it and jump back to the present. I think about what I could have changed for a better life but realized if I did, certain events and people wouldn't be in my life now. Do you accept friends in this board?
If you have regrets, it means you've learned something. Accept that whatever you did was wrong, bad, dumb, could have been done better, etc., take a few moments to tell yourself whatever you want about them, and then be done with it. Dwelling on mistakes does not undo them, and can often hold you back from moving forward. The key is to not repeat them, and to keep pushing forward. "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." ~ Alfred Tennyson, Ulysses
One of my favorite sayings that I dunno where I heard it from but: "Look back to learn,Look forward to succeed." With that said to me personally it's ok to look back @ your life when it was a simpler time but don't dwell on it too much bc that was then and this is now. I have ALOT of shit that I use to wonder the "What if's?" and @ the end of the day you just gotta move on from it.
We all have regrets about stuff we've done in the past, things we wish we could undo. But the important thing to take away from it all is that if we actually had done those things, would we have learned the lessons that came from not having done it? Hindsight is 20/20 after all.
@ILoveDinobot . Believe me I do have tons of regrets in life. I've made so many mistakes in my life, and very few right decisions. So, yes, I understand very well. At least I'm going to change my career later this year, and, likely, move away from where I've lived since 1991.
Not at all. I supremely fucked my life last year and still feel the regrets. Just part of being human.
For me it helps to think about this. I have lots of regrets, but as others have said, try to learn from them, or forget about them. What is really holding you back from having a better day today and tomorrow? A therapist can help, but it's sometimes just a friendly person who will listen intently to what you are saying for an hour. Maybe a friend or a family member can do that for you?
