Yiff!

 

Can you make me behave? I promise you wont need the duct tape!
   

 

What I would do to jerks and flamers in my apartment if I had one.

5 step process.

Step a. "A Gift" Go to goodwill and buy a nice glass vase, or a plate, or somethin really thin and cheap but breakable.

Step b. "Say Hello" go and see good friend next door! Pay him a visit and see how things are going! Just by your presence moon im sure things will look up. (get it har har) ahem. okay. moving on.

step c. "Exchange Gifts" Give gift of love to friendly neighbor. You must be sure your in his house somehow someway. Belittle him on the fact that he didnt get you anything, and its really your birthday today too. How dare he?

step d. "Make a scene" Yes, bring up the fact that you dont like him hitting on your wife when he comes over at the end and try to make him make you mad, its kinda hard, but rather easy sometimes with the jedi mind trick. Be sure to tell him how fucking gross his bedroom door looks and you see something sticky on his handle too and you would like to show it to him for closer inspection, and you happen to have a UV light in your pocket too cause you work part time for MPLS PD in the hopkins district governed by joe mindeske for adolescent cases.

Step E. "Finish the Job" As he tries to come back with a reason for hitting on your girl, take your hand and toss the thing you just bought him all over his floor or wall works good too make sure you break it very well aim for an inch past the wall like bruce lee. Make an intimidating scene and you will be sure to lay the smacketh downeth of fairy boy.

Step F. Phase FU in effect for 1 month, usually effects onlylast for a pre determined time based on individual, Your results may vary.

Have fun, remember, that you should sometimes let bums eat dinner sometimes, but you cant feed them everyday.