How Do I Stop Obessing Over Transformers?

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by Jonathan, May 25, 2020.

  1. Jonathan

    Jonathan Wait til u c my alt mode

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    I realized this hobby is not serving me anymore. Its a financial liability. I am willing to spend thousands of dollars on cels. I dream about transformers. I obsess over rare artwork by comic artists. I just feel my fandom has taken over my life and i want to get off. I feel i want to just stop being a Transformer fan. I feel ive tried hard to let go many times. Its not healthy. How do you stop loving something?
     
  2. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Be strong enough to be gentle

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    If you actually believe it is damaging your life, seek therapy. And no, this is not some snide jab, there actually are people out there who can help curb compulsive behaviour, be it spending or just obsession in general.
     
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  3. Novaburnhilde

    Novaburnhilde シン・ブリュンヒルド

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    I was hovering over this thread not entirely sure what to say, but this is a great bit of advice.
     
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  4. Optimus141

    Optimus141 Well-Known Member

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    Seek help from professionals. It's probably the best way to curb your obsession.
     
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  5. Jonathan

    Jonathan Wait til u c my alt mode

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    Yeah I think I will. Thank you.
     
  6. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Be strong enough to be gentle

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    I think it would help, since you’re not only aware of your problem but want to fix it. It sounds cliche, but admitting you need to change is the first and arguably most important step.

    You’re a bigger man than most.
     
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  7. SHINOBI03

    SHINOBI03 Well-Known Member

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    Here's an idea: You know the swear jar? Get a Transformers jar. Whenever you feel you want to buy something related to Transformers, put that same amount of money in a jar. Then you'll see how much you saved by not going through these impulse purchases.

    No cheating though, okay?
     
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  8. Wolfguard

    Wolfguard Your own personal Jesus.

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Selling: Rodimii! All Rodimus must go.

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    You can start like an other addiction. Limit yourself, do it in steps, slowly. Set a budget how much you will spend every month. Limit, what type of figures or memorabilia you will buy. Sell what doesn't fit into this. So example, for me. I decided to just buy Hot Rods, with the small exception of another character here and there. Then, I decided no exclusives, sold all those, then I said only red hot rod, sold all the blue/black/clears. The I said I don't need a japanese version and US version, sold 1 of each depending what I wanted to keep. Next, I said only G1 style hot rods and sold the ones that weren't based on G1. My collection went from over 500 to about 200. It took years to do this, as I had keep willing myself to get rid of more, lose my emotional attachment and the feeling of need of needing to have those figures.
     
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  10. imfallenangel

    imfallenangel Well-Known Member

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    I've counseled people with addictions and you'd be amazed how someone can end up in a situation wouldn't realizing that it's happening, nor understand how it did.

    As other members stated, you should consider looking finding someone (a professional) that can work with you about how you feel.

    You need to do a self-evaluation to why you are collecting anything at the point that you do... no use to "quit cold turkey" and end up finding yourself transferring what is driving this behavior to something else. The main starting point is to try to understand why you have this need, this compulsion. Finding what is driving this "need" can start the process of understanding and controlling it.

    It's not a question of "stop loving something" but understanding if this is truly about a hobby or part of a deeper issue. Find out if you have family with addictive personalities or such behavior, as it might assist you and anyone that you find to help you.

    Just be thankful that it's not a more destructive "hobby", but you truly feel like this, then you have to really consider all of these points.

    Good luck.
     
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  11. gregles

    gregles quintesson

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    People here have already said some amazing responses that show great compassion, understanding and empathy, so I haven’t got too much to add other than to echo their same advice of reaching out for support now that you have found the self awareness and strength to acknowledge the problem for what it really is.

    The thing I will say about therapy though is that it isn’t cheap or easy and I mean both in terms of money and effort but it’s best to think of it as an investment in yourself that has a greater chance of eventually leading to more meaningful and satisfying results than chasing the next fix in your addiction cycle.

    Big changes in someone’s life can start with a single decision but maintaining that change can be a long, complicated and non-linear process where lapses/relapses are actually a formally recognised part of the cycle of change, used to help treat people with addictions.

    it is best to be as kind and forgiving of yourself as possible in this time as making cruel judgements about yourself for experiencing lapses and relapses will make it harder for you to access the support you need to better understand what happened to lead to that laps/relapse and what learning from that experience can be useful to he help maintain your sobriety in the future.

    A simple thing you can do to be kind to yourself is to be aware of and possibly challenge the way in which you word things to yourself as try replacing “I failed” with “I’m struggling” as they kind of mean similar things but the first is crueler and more absolute whilst the second is often fairer and more realistic and actually gives you a chance to engage with it and think about strategies like reassessing motivations and going back to your support for further help.

    Well done again for taking that first difficult step to recovery and I think everyone here can relate a little to your post in some way or another and we all wish you the best in your future recovery.
     
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  12. Fc203

    Fc203 #RestoreTheBayVerse

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    I kinda felt that way a few years ago whenever i found stuff at discount stores, i would buy the 1 steps and the others gimmicky figures and buy figures i already had to keep them misb, was i happy? Eh not sure but probably not, but i can say that i have it but i just stopped after potp i realized that having mostly every figure didnt make as happy as i was hoping so i just got i felt i thought was cool and didnt have in siege, i wouldn't want to be wfc completist because i genuinely dont like micromasters and the wfc modulars arent as cool as i wanted them to be
    So yeah just take a deep breath and say you have a problem and when you see something that makes impulse buy dont, miss out on it and then youll find out that it's not a big deal that you missed out on it and on the future youll be glad you didnt spend that money on the stuff because that money will most likely be in your pocket (or bank account)
    A few months ago i saw the bumblebee movie toys at ross and i was this close to buying them but i said no, i aksed myself 3 simple questions, do i need it? Do i have the space for it? Can i afford it? The answers to my first 2 questions were no but i can afford it but it doesnt mean i should get it because if i get it i wouldnt display them and i dont have the space for them
    At the end of the day i left that ross empty handed but right now i have $60, about $20 from it wouldve been gone if i actually got the toys, looking back at it i realized it wasnt a big deal that i skipped them as i initially thought it was when i left the store that day
    So just say no to yourself next time you see something that you don't need
     
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  13. DarkEyes

    DarkEyes Well-Known Member

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    Actually, it is not really difficult.

    Current Transformers quality is really low because of the CHPS. The cheap hollow plastic syndrome is a constant in many modern Transformers and that allows me to save a lot of money. Figures that look awesome in pics are trash in hand because of their low quality. The CHPS is even present in the so called "Masterpiece" line. HasTak is asking premium money for low quality products.

    It is pretty easy to stay away from many Transformers nowadays and be more focused in the high quality of old Transformers. In this CHPS era, I appreciate really more my entire collection from the PreCHPS era.

    Then we need to remember, how many Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream,... do we really need? I used to think, they will never be enough in the PreCHPS era, but right now with this low quality , things really changed.

    There are still some few good things, nice comics and xovers like Ghostbusters, they even used MP10 mold. Love that! I got a couple of them, nice deal by the way, they will be delivered this week!

    I mostly quench my thirst of plastic with other lines, other retro specific characters and in very low quantities, we don't want another line addiction! Hasbro and Takara are helping me to stop my Transformers addiction with their CHPS but they don't feel the same hate for other brands like Marvel, for example. Hasbro Marvel Legends are in their quality pinnacle nowadays and the new pre-orders system allows me to stay focused and control how many figures I will buy this year, there are A LOT OF options but I am only focused in specific characters, like specific versions of X-MEN or the new retro Spiderman wave. No Black Widow wave for me, for example.

    I am really decreasing the number of toys I buy. I don't think I will ever stop buying but the goal is to decrease the quantity considerably.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2020
  14. MattDallas

    MattDallas Well-Known Member

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    Finding another hobby (alongside Transformers) could also help.
     
  15. SaberPrime

    SaberPrime System Pride

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    I don't think you need to stop being a fan entirely... just take it in moderation. Set a spending limit for yourself each month. Something more reasonable than THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. Like maybe only 10% of whatever you have left after bills and taxes goes to Transformers. That kind of thing.

    The thing is if you stop completely you might just find something else to obsess over instead and then you'd be right back in the same situation all over again but with a different hobby. So that's not really solving the problem. No matter what your hobby is you have to set a limit for yourself.
     
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  16. Blam320

    Blam320 Assembly Inventor

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    Dude, have you seen current generation CHUG toys?! They're the literal opposite of "cheap hollow plastic." Have you been living under a rock since 2012?
     
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  17. OmegaTaco Supreme

    OmegaTaco Supreme Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb

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    I would probably recommend stop coming to the forums, dont go down the action figure toy isle, and delete any internet history of sites that sell transformers. Out of sight out of mind.

    The forums are a big one. I was almost done collecting till I saw something shiny and new on posted on the forums and here I am having 6 more pre-orders for the next year or so.
     
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  18. HunterGreen2005

    HunterGreen2005 In stock

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    I'm going to lay it thick.

    The cold hard truth is that you might just have to quit cold turkey. You have to let go that you can't enjoy Transformers like a 'normal' fan, you may have moved beyond that and there's no going back. The gizmo inside you that once allowed you to enjoy Transformers is broken. Smashed to bits. Can't be fixed. Am I wrong? Probably. But that's something you will need to work out with professional help.

    Give therapy and counseling a try. Set an appointment today. There's always an excuse not to do something so just do it. If you can spend thousands on shaded cels, you can spend money for your well being.

    I wish you the best and good luck.
     
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  19. Longitudinalwave

    Longitudinalwave A Big Fan of (Sound/Shock)wave

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    Good luck.
     
  20. Macross7

    Macross7 Well-Known Member

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    If you really want to get out of Transformers.

    Every time you think of transformers, put your hand in a door frame and slam the door. EVERY SINGLE TIME. You'll teach yourself to not think of Transformers pretty quickly.
     
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