Movie wasn't worse than the previous two attempts, but still pretty bad. Everything that happens is freaking Snake-Eyes fault. He is no god damn hero in this at all. Also, he never shuts the fuck up. Like the dude talks non-stop.

Spoiler

He never loses his voice, does not get his face scarred, and he doesn't actually wear his armor until the last 45 seconds of the movie.

Golding should go back to thrillers and comedies because he is NO action star. He was awful in this, though, he wasn't as bad as the girl who played Scarlett. My god was she terrible. The worst part is the woman was utterly amazing in Ready or Not, but here, you'd think she was someone who just got out of a high school drama class.

The best actors in the movie were the dude that played the Blind Master and Storm Shadow's.

The plot made no sense and was choppy as all hell. The fight choreography was borderline bad. Not to mention it was all shaky cam bullshit. Worst of all, it was utterly boring more often than not, but hey, it was better than Mortal Kombat.

That makes no sense. That's as bad as some dude on Twitter last week saying, "No one should ever become a teacher. We need less teachers, not more."

Should we have less doctors then? Hell, how about football players and the like? Too many people are skating by being rich just from playing football or basketball and they don't even actually have to win to get paid. They don't even have to work all of the time.

 

I won't be seeing this movie, considering what I'm about to say here. It just blows my mind that

Spoiler

Snake Eyes doesn't suit up until the final minute???

That seems unforgivable, for a...Snake Eyes movie. This isn't a "Breaker" movie.

How much does Storm Shadow even

Spoiler

wear his masked suit??

I could see building up the suspense of these turns up to perhaps the halfway point, or even the Act II Climax....but the last minute? What a waste.

 

Seeing cars transform into robots was an interesting idea especially to kids that never seen that before, gi joe just feels like a generic army movie i never saw what was special about it and didnt see the movie until a decade later

 

Maybe a streaming show with the individual characters on Paramount+ with competent directors and cameramen who doesn't have tourettes and then make a movie with them all in a GIJoe movie.

 

Of all the old brands, Transformers has aged the best for modern audiences in modern theaters. It's been said that the worst selling Transformers was still better than the best selling GI Joe (I assume similar timeframes and not a direct comparison to the 80's). Doesn't mean this movie being bad is justified, but something like GI Joe isn't easy, I'm surprised they have confidence in live action theatrical GI Joe in the first place.

 

Yep the tf brand is very easy to market while the gi joe brand is kinda hard especially in todays climate where alot of people dont think positively of the military

 

Spoiler

Storm Shadow never wears a mask once, just a bike helmet. He doesn't even don a white coat until the last third.

I still think The Hurt Locker is the best non-GI Joe GI Joe movie to date.

 

Some properties just don't work well as films.
Take the Purge series for example. The films are shit, but the overall concept is interesting. That short-lived USA series was pretty decent in providing a deeper look into the larger Purge-universe.

I bring this up simply because there's now another (Forever) Purge film being released, which I don't have any interest in seeing.
But tell me that the USA show got re-upped for a third series and I'm interested in seeing that.

The G.I. Joe cartoon film worked, but that's only because you had how many scores of cartoon episodes building the mythos behind it. You can only do so much in 90-120 minutes when you've constantly got to hash out people's backstories.

Arguably, it would have been a better film if it operated under the auspices that the audience were already familiar with the characters and backstory. Granted, it would likely then only be interesting to fans of the series rather than attracting new fans, but if you trade that larger audience grab and still make a mediocre film, what have you really accomplished?

Spoiler

And yes, Snake-Eyes is totally the villain (or doop at best) of the film. Storm Shadow is a victim despite his best efforts to do the right thing.

 

Yeah, that's a nonsensical thing for him to say. But it's also a bad analogy. You have to go to school to learn to be a teacher. There's training. Just like to be a movie reviewer back in the day, you had to study film, maybe minor in journalism, etc. But that's not what the internet is. The internet is the great equalizer in that any idiot with no education or formal training can enter the field of reviewing movies and think their opinion is of equal worth to that of someone who has. And fair enough, if they have enough brain dead followers who spread their videos all over the place that they can make a living from it, more power to them. But I don't have to respect them or want to see their garbage posted here.

Back to the movie, I'm almost more interested to see it now, hearing about the role reversal. Sure they fucked GI Joe up yet again, but at least it's an original take.

 

It’s a shame the actresses who play Baroness and Scarlett are pretty talented in their own right. It’s a shame they probably won’t have a second chance at it.

 

My god, I didn’t think they could make gi Joe even less popular than before but here we are!

I like how this encapsulates just how douchey the movie actually is. Good luck with people not buying your shit!

 

Yeah they were the best parts for me, i love how scarlet repels down by a helicopter into the temple, but there were parts where her acting felt a little off baroness on other was great she felt intimidating and was way better than the rise of cobra actress, both were way better than their rise of cobra interpretations

 

It's amazing how they can't manage to make even a half decent GI JOE movie (I haven't seen Snake Eyes yet) when Larry Hama's comic was so chock full of good stories.

 

…first the sad news about the new motu cartoon and now this…

Guys who watched this movie…the action is passable right? I mean would a 11-year old kid be least entertained?

 

I think an 11 year old would be bored to death with it as there's hardly any action and when there is, it's shot quite haphazardly.

 

…wow…that is pretty bad…if the story is ridiculous, the only saving grace would be the action scenes…

 

The action scenes were neat but hard to follow due to shaky-cam. They were also a little overblown in the sense that SE and SS were able to go one-on-twenty with enemies and come away barely breaking a sweat.

That's something that Netflix Daredevil did very well. Fighting is exhausting, even when you're good at it. Not depicting any measure of fatigue after a fight sequence makes it seem even more fake than successful 1:20 odds are already.

I did enjoy SSs dual-sword technique, though. That was pretty solid.

 

I don't know who she is and have never seen anything with her in it, but she was the biggest red flag in the trailers for me. In every shot, she has this same smarmy look on her face which reminds me of comedian Kathy Griffin, whom I do not like. I thought the Rise of Cobra actress at least looked more the part, although she ruined it as soon as she opened her mouth.

 

Nah - this Baroness was okay. The accent did seem to come and go a bit, which was annoying. Honestly, I'd have preferred the accent be way over the top, as silly as it would have sounded. But that's kind of always been the kick with the Baroness - over the top Eurotrashiness.

It's also worth noting that her hair looked way better in the actual film than in the promotional shots.

 

Haven’t seen the movie yet. Hasbro had more creative control for Bumblebee but didn’t for Snake Eyes AFAIK. As such, this is starting to sound like Paramount just looked at the character designs, was listening to someone tell them the background lore, then cut them off and went and did their own thing with it. Might watch it this weekend to see for myself but not sure.