Funny Pick Up Lines

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Toxicon, May 24, 2009.

  1. BenPrince

    BenPrince Banned

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    Hey dude, you up for some NAFTA?
     
  2. MetalRyde

    MetalRyde is an a-hole with a heart. RIP Spike and Mojo.

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    hey, you got any (place ethnicity here) in you?
    (if she says no, respond with this)
    would you like some? (drops pants)
     
  3. inferno4565

    inferno4565 Master of Mudkips

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    "I don't know any pick up lines, gimme a chance?" - Trying that next time I'm at a party
     
  4. boris1162

    boris1162 Well-Known Member

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    my m8 dinotron told me this story.... he was at the bar and a girl walked up so he took the ice out of his glass and throw it on the floor and said thats broke the ice.... and she walked away.... well done dean did well m8 lol
     
  5. MikeTSI

    MikeTSI TFW2005 Supporter

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    Ebay:
    "You know what the difference is between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my [email protected]&* in your mouth. " <----Try that one at your own risk.
     
  6. Cheetatron

    Cheetatron Drat, outsmarted by a Lorry, I am disgraced

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    You asshole I was gonna post that one except with the reverse answer and response

    You ask:hey, you got any (place ethnicity here) in you?
    She says: Yes
    You ask: Want some more?

    True, but that line makes absolutely no sense here lol
     
  7. Scourge_151

    Scourge_151 Never gargle the rum. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Don't know about funny, but this is one guaranteed to get you a dirty look or a slap:

    "You fancy a dance?"
    -"Yes"
    "Well f**k off then so I can talk to your mate"
     
  8. MetalRyde

    MetalRyde is an a-hole with a heart. RIP Spike and Mojo.

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    'hey, babe, you hear?

    im an assholey oley oley-oleyo-o-o

    A
    S-S
    H-O
    L-E
    EVERYBODY!
    A
    S-S
    H-O
    L-E'

    i purposely park
    in handicap spaces
    and handicap people
    make handicap faces
    cuz im an assholey oley oley-oleyo-o-o
     
  9. Radioactive Ravage

    Radioactive Ravage Ancient

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    That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too.

    Would like to take a seat on my lap? We'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
     
  10. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

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    "I am Vangelous."

    It will get you laid!
     
  11. CrypticIllusionist

    CrypticIllusionist Well-Known Member

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    This is an area of humour I will always love.

    "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in"

    "I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?"

    "I'm a necrophiliac; how well can you play dead?"

    "I used to be into necrophilia and beastiality, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

    "I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples."

    "You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear."
     
  12. Radioactive Ravage

    Radioactive Ravage Ancient

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    Weird Al FTW.
     
  13. CrypticIllusionist

    CrypticIllusionist Well-Known Member

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    Which ones are from Weird Al? I got all those browsing google for 'funny pick-up lines'.

    EDIT: Correction, two are from friends.
     
  14. jerky123

    jerky123 PSN=deadpoolistheman

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    Food based Pickup lines-

    "You must work at McDonalds, cause I'm lovin it!"
    "You must work at Burgerking, cause I'm hav'n it my way!"
     
  15. on_a_warpath

    on_a_warpath OAW 2010

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    *Looks up Uncyclopedias article on this matter*

    "My mom won't be home for hours..."

    "I'm Batman."

    "I'm an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor."

    "I'm a Wikipedia reader and contributor."

    "I want to bone you."

    Those were a few that weren't too vile to post here... I think.
     
  16. Tommybg2003

    Tommybg2003 Well-Known Member

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    Is that a keg in your back pocket cause id love to tap that ass

    think that one has always been my favorite :p 
     
  17. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    Old thread is old but I had to post this one.


    "Hey, my english name is (insert your name here) , but my Chinese name is Hung Lo."
     
  18. Dran0n

    Dran0n junk male

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    "I want fucks you."

    Too strong?

    *Holds Up Duct Tape* "Resistance is futile."

    "You make my pants feel funny."
     
  19. Janitor

    Janitor Well-Known Member

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    I lifted this line from an old Nike commercial:

    "I am Tiger Woods."
     
  20. Dran0n

    Dran0n junk male

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    I think I've got one more"

    "My hand only goes so far."