Funny Pick Up Lines

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Toxicon, May 24, 2009.

  1. Optimus1986

    Optimus1986 TMNT & Hulk Fanatic

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    You know that Chuck Norris guy? I taught him everything he knows.

    You show me yours, I'll show you mine. PHONE NUMBER, of course.
     
  2. NemesisBruticus

    NemesisBruticus Banned

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    Dont remember where this is from, but I saw it somewhere.[Drunk Guy} ARe yoU An aNgeL, CUZ I haV aN eReCtiOn![/Drunk guy]
     
  3. MikeTSI

    MikeTSI TFW2005 Supporter

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    Some of my favs:

    "Do you work for UPS? Because I noticed you checking out my package."

    ""You want to go fuck and eat a pizza?" she says "No." You say "What, you don't like pizza?"

    "You know who you look like? My second wife." She says "How many times have you been married?" Me: "Just once."

    "You know what a guy who's great in the sack has for breakfast? What ever you feel like fixing me in the morning." <----(That one worked for me the other day)
     
  4. Los

    Los Now you see me...

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    Do you know karate, 'cuz your body is kickin'
     
  5. NemesisBruticus

    NemesisBruticus Banned

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    If you say no I'll just go get the duct tape.
     
  6. FreshDebesh

    FreshDebesh <b><font color=brickred>oye chak de phatte!</font> Veteran

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    My variation on that one is "I'm not a doctor, but...oh wait, I AM A DOCTOR."
     
  7. Toxicon

    Toxicon Banned

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    And then you get SUPERLAID, I presume? Everyone loves doctors.
     
  8. Evil Porkchop

    Evil Porkchop Pork, the evil white meat

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    Why do I have this picture in my head of a real life Dr. Christian Troy?
     
  9. dorfsquest

    dorfsquest Cybertron EHS Specialist

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    Heard this one used after a guy made casual talk with some girl.

    "Oh, I'll text ya later... Oh, yeah that's right. I can't text you without your phone number......????"
     
  10. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 Optimus, serving up the primest of ribs since 1984

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    "hey baby what time do your legs open? " <=== got my cousin pepper sprayed
     
  11. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    "Are you allergic to latex, hon?"
     
  12. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    "Hi, my name's George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents."
     
  13. Nez Pierce

    Nez Pierce @evildanish

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    "Hello! I have bacon!" This worked for me.
    "I have no idea who you are." Ditto
    "Want to check out my ceiling fan?" Ditto
    "I'm gonna eat your children!"
     
  14. Nez Pierce

    Nez Pierce @evildanish

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    "Hon"? must be a Baltimore thing....
     
  15. IronicHide

    IronicHide MEME GO HERE

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    Hold my pint, I'm off for a shit.
     
  16. Brawlastator

    Brawlastator "woah oh oh woah oh oh" - tarzan boy, baltimora

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    "Hey girl, I've been watching you for about an hour now. You gonna be walking to your car by yourself later?"
     
  17. guard convoy

    guard convoy The Big Daddy

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    "they don't call me the big daddy for nothin" what i say sometimes when messin around with my pals lol always makes people laugh
    "i got a gift for you girl, and no it ain't a toaster, but it does pop up"
    "do you believe in magic, cause you made my wand appear"

    lol those last two i just made up from scratch
     
  18. cryotek

    cryotek Criminal Overlord

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    Hey baby, come here and sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart!

    Are you finger-lickin' good!

    I'm WHAT Willis was talkin' 'bout!
     
  19. Toxicon

    Toxicon Banned

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    "Are you a general? Because you make my privates stand up."
     
  20. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!


    Hi. Can I domesticate you?

    I think my medication is wearing off.


    Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get

    Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."