http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/827841-return-cybertron.html/JackWheel Story: So the story tells of an Autobot squad on Earth lead by Ultra Magnus and featuring members like Ratchet, Wheeljack, Smokescreen and Perceptor (We'll touch on those in a bit.) The story gives a rather original rendition to the usual concept of the Autobots fighting the Decepticons on Earth, but this time, the Decepticons have the upper hand from the very start. They manage to obtain the four Omega Keys (We'll get there soon as well), and they wish to return to Cybertron. The Autobots, naturally want to stop them and obtain the Omega Keys to repair the dying planet from its corruption by Dark Energon. It's the usual scenario taken to interesting situations. The story draws inspiration from Transformers Prime with the Omega Keys and some of the characters and concepts, as well as G1 and Fall of Cybertron at some specific moments. It doesn't rely on homages, and instead sets its own stage, and it's to be accommodated. As for the characters, there's not much to say considering the story has only three small chapters, so that's not a lot to judge by, but the characters seem like a bit of a weak point. Everyone's dialogue is similar in personality, and hopefully that's something that's addressed in the future. For now, Autobots talk like Autobots and Decepticons talk like Decepticons. It's really nothing to pass on the fanfic for, but it's funny how boring dialogue can interrupt the fun of reading this overall great fanfic. Writing: The writing in this fanfic is generally solid, I never found myself raising an eyebrow upon reading it. The writing is good with an infrequent grammar issue and no typos as far as I could tell. It's written well and I enjoyed reading it. Return To Cybertron/JackWheel: 8.5/10 Definitely worth a read, be you a fan of Prime, the Cybertron games, or anything else, I'd recommend Return to Cybertron for being a great time. Next week we'll be going into a personal favorite franchise of mine fused with another personal franchise of mine! Will it do either one justice? We'll see about that.
Thanks for the review! I knew the characters were my weak point, so I definitely need to improve on that!
Sure thing man, and it's good to see people are learning, should help make things more interesting. And I'll see you and some other guys at the Fanfic of the Year award! Now that I mention it, I'm totally making that happen.
Time for a special feature. This time we're reviewing a trilogy of fanfics as a single story. We're talking about Mass Effect; it'd be a crime not to. http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/653865-prime-effect.html,http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/660556-prime-effect-2-a.html,http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/693313-prime-effect-3-a.html/Leonis Prime Story: So, much like I tend to do with the Mass Effect games, I will be treating these three fanfic as a single story, a complete package. So, Mass Effect. If you looked into the gaming industry in the last 6 years or so, you know Mass Effect. An action-RPG that gained critical acclaim throughout its 5-year trilogy. Sure, more is being made, but the story we grew to love and our decisions ended with Mass Effect 3, making it the last game in the "Shepard Trilogy". One of the main reasons why people love Mass Effect so much is the lore and scale of the universe Bioware has built. Many alien races and engaging planets in addition to their great lore they've built into the games. Any self-respecting Mass Effect story needs to at least aim at avoiding being discrete and try to take as much influence from the games as possible. Now, that being said, this isn't a Mass Effect story, not solely at least. It takes place in a Mass Effect style TF Prime universe, following Jack Darby going through the Mass Effect adventure with a Transformers skin on it. Nuff said. If you played Mass Effect you'll know where most of it is going, albeit the story tries to be different, and most of the times it does it well enough. So is the story good? Is it faithful to the Mass Effect and Transformers franchises? Kinda. It's the Mass Effect story mainly, so naturally you'll see all the fun stuff from the games in it, so it does them justice fairly nicely. On the Transformers end, however, you'll see a bit of a bland spot. The beginning of the story is mainly exposition as to how things came to be the way they are, and it's Handled somewhat poorly. It's basically the TFP story summarized to get you into that Mass Effect vibe with different characters and some altered plot details. Jack and the TFP characters don't bring as much fun to the story as Shepard does, and the overall themes of the two brands don't blend together very well. After thinking about it some more, I can't seem to be able to put my finger on exactly what makes the two stories mix so poorly. Is it the lack of choice and perspective the games had? Is it the fact that Cybertronians are strangely unfitting as Synthetics in the Mass Effect universe? Might be all of those things. But being a Mass Effect fan, something kept me coming. I didn't feel bad reading these the first times, and I didn't suffer reading this again to do this review. The latter brings me to my main point of this whole Story section: This fanfiction was made for Mass Effect and Transformers fans. Not either or, both. Even with that requirement, you may not enjoy this fanfiction because it totally deconstructs what Mass Effect and Transformers Prime are all about and tries to squeeze them both into a story. It's worth a shot, but know that there's a certain price of admission. Writing: The writing in this fanfic is okay. Grammar looks good, a little bump here and there, but it doesn't bother too much. Typos here and there that get less frequent as the fanfic continues. One thing I won't knock off the fanfic's score, even though maybe I should, is the fact that the story is constructed in a very strange manner. Instead of posting a chapter in every post, there are merely posts saying "New chapter is up!" and the next chapter is located in the now edited first post. This makes the first post freakishly long and gives you the feeling that it's going to last forever. It's just something I hope to avoid seeing. Prime Effect Trilogy/Leonis Prime: 6.5/10 It's good, but it's only good if you're in the mindset to read it. Mass Effect fans are in for a fun read, but anyone other than that will find himself an outsider to the universe and the story will end up boring as a result. Almost done with the queue. You can begin bombarding me with more requests whenever you feel like it, I don't want a huge break.
Just found this thread, and I figured I might as well give it a shot. I've got two completed stories posted here and on other sites. Got a third that's not quite finished, so I won't link it here yet. Game-Changer. Here, I put the whole story in a single post...I figured that'd make it easier to find, instead of scrolling through post after post to find the newest chapter. But it can start to look like a wall of text after a while, so I'll also add links to other sites where each chapter is in a separate file, in case that works better for reading. Game-Changer on FanStory.com. The newest draft is posted there and on SoFurry (and also in the fanfiction thread here). I also posted it on Fanfiction.net, but I've revised it since then and keep forgetting to update the one on FFnet. And the second story, Rematch. Again, the one posted here is all in the first post in the thread. It's also on FanStory and SoFurry, with each chapter in a different file.
I'll re-post the current queue here so no one has to go back to the old post. Queue: Knightfall/Ironhide1706 - May 24th Magnus Hammer/HeroicC300 - May 31st
I'll have more by that time, so could you add Knightfall please? It's on the first page at the moment.
While I continue work on my other two stories, I wrote a quick one-shot that I would like you to review: http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/867591-magnus-hammer.html#post9288265
http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/854727-hero-always-comes-home.html/Starscream600 Story: So the story of this fanfic tells the story, of Wheeljack's arrival on Earth in TFP. Uh, what? We've already seen it guise? Well, this fanfic also features an additional human character, May, Miko's friend, or sister or whatever... She's both I guess. Anyway, take this as an alternate take on the story. As Wheeljack arrives on Earth, meeting his best friend and fellow Wrecker, Bulkhead and his two human friends Miko and May, the latter Wheeljack considers intriguing, in that Breakdown and Airachnid way. The situation gets interesting when Starscream supposedly separates from the Decepticons and decides he wants to join the Autobot ranks. Optimus accepts the treacherous Seeker, but Wheeljack considers him a threat and decides to take matters into his own hands. So the story focuses on these characters and the interaction is overall nice. The personalities stay true to the show and is entertaining, especially when Starscream is around. The one thing that kinda bothered me is the lack of exposition when it comes to characters. Where did May come from, why is she there? We're left to assume she was there from the start like the other characters, and that holds the purpose of her character back. Writing: The writing is good in this fanfic. Barely any grammar and spelling issues, and the style kept me reading on. This is the type of fanfic you enjoy reading because it's really fun to read. A Hero Always Comes Home/Starscream600: 9/10 If you're a Prime fan, you'll absolutely find this story a worthy addition and a fun story on its own part. The lack of backstory to May, who is introduced as a main character, makes her character somewhat uninteresting, even with Wheeljack's interest in her (Still don't know what kind of interest we're talking about here, so I won't judge), but overall, this fanfic is worth reading, and I am anticipating more content for it.
Getting a tad busy today, hoping to bring the review later today, otherwise It'll have to be tomorrow. Might even review two of them tomorrow.
Put your children to bed and lock the doors, today we're looking at Game Changer. http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-fan-fiction/662041-game-changer.html/Gamma Ray Burst Story: Before we begin this review, I'll just go ahead and say, if profanity and nasty descriptions of violent situations don't agree with you, I'd recommend you turn this fanfic down. Chances are you won't change your mind. Now that that's out of the way, we can start properly. So Game Changer takes place after Predatory in the Prime universe (This is another one of those unusual cases where I consider it an alternate-universe, because some things don't match up. For one, the overall tone. But that's entirely up to you.), and tells of Arcee and Jack as they encounter a hell lot of Decepticons, and the implications should knock you off your feet. (...Pun intended.) The story holds up pretty way, and is very memorable. The mature and gritty approach makes this fanfic stand out, although I found myself chucking when I realized I forgot this was a Prime fanfic. However, this fanfic suffers from the overly-common mistake of putting new original characters in a story without giving them purpose. An entire chapter focusing on a couple characters in this story would've made it heaps more exciting to see them again. Overall, however, Arcee and Jack are perfectly fine in this regard, and their dialog is perfectly acceptable. Writing: Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this fanfic very much, and a big part of it came from the writing style. At the start, the fanfic overwhelmed me slightly. After barely a minute of reading, terms like Spoiler "Son of a bitch" and Spoiler "Penis of the month" (Blacked out for your safety, read at your own risk) are thrown at you, and you just gotta deal with it. However, once you do, you get used to the somewhat frequent "damn" and less frequent swears, but you'll rarely see an F bomb in this story. It doesn't take things too far, which is something that's really good, otherwise it would be tiresome. I've not encountered any spelling and grammar issues, so it's also got that going for it. Game Changer/Gamma Ray Burst: 9/10 Possibly the best use of mature themes in a fanfic I've seen in a while. Game Changer is worth reading no matter what your field of interest is in TF lore, as it takes itself away from TFP's status quo and instead fills itself with innovation and lets itself go crazy. And did I mention the ending (So far) makes me smile every time?
Awesome. Thank you, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it. The types of stories I write probably aren't everyone's cup of tea, so I'm always relieved when someone tells me that they liked it. One concern I definitely have is the language. I managed to keep it toned down a bit in this one, though in the second story it's a little stronger in places. I still haven't figured out if it's appropriate to the situations and the subject matter of the story, or if it's actually just gratuitous. If it really does seem excessive, I'll be happy to go through and edit it, and try to tone it down in the future. Good point about the OCs. At first I thought some of them would only be in a couple of scenes, but then they kept reappearing. It would've been better if I'd thought to give at least some of them proper introductions, but instead they were all just kind of...there. Anyway, thanks again. Looking forward to the next review. ^_^
Well, the language in Game Changer is probably the flagship feature, hilariously I don't think you should go back and edit it, but that's just me. I mean, as soon as I got used to it, it became pretty fun. I haven't started reading the other story yet, but I'll pay extra attention to the language in that review so I can give you a more extensive opinion on it.
Awesome. Glad it seems to have worked out. Like I said before, though, I do kind of worry that the next story goes a bit too far here and there. I keep thinking, "It works because of the danger the characters are in," then later I look at it again and kind of wince and think, "Oh, that's a bit off-putting." Then I keep going back and forth between the two. Very cool. Maybe I'm worrying over nothing, but it'll be good to know for certain whether I should keep a tighter leash on that kind of stuff. ^_^
If I may add, Gamma Ray Burst, One thing that would help visually; would be if you could put new chapters into later posts; instead of continuously updating the first post. It actually helps break things up into more manageable portions for those who want to read your story, but not all in one shot. (Because people are lazy, but believe me, it helps.)
