Divorce

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by power3921, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. power3921

    power3921 Well-Known Member

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    Last year my parents got divorced. There was a bit of anger, but they generally stayed civil with each other. A few months ago, however, my dad began dating a women from our church, something they agreed neither would do. He figured that as she had been a family friend when he was a kid, it was OK. Thing is, she was also my moms friend, making this feel like a double betrayal. Though not understanding why what he did was wrong, he agreed to stop seeing her. A few weeks ago, my dad and her began to date again. While I am opting to forgive and forget, assuming that neither of them meant to heard my mom, my sister still dislikes her, and thinks she seems like a mean person. Two days ago, I mentioned to my mom how I feel like my sister thinks I'm either with her or against her, to which my mom had no advice. The next day, she seemed upset, and when I asked what the matter was, she told me she though I didn't believe she was right to be upset, that I was asking her to tell my sister she shouldn't feel my upset at dads girlfriend and that I like my dad more than her. I explained that the opposite was true, that I was trying to avoid taking sides, not siding against her. I apologized for sounding rude, but she is still upset, and I don't know what to. I cant talk to mom or dad about this, as they'd just get mad at each other, and I don't know who to do or who talk to.
     
  2. TheDemonDzko

    TheDemonDzko Some Internet Guy

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    In this kind of situation? You just need to go with the flow, buddy.

    I know exactly how it feels to see a parental figure date someone that isn't the original one.

    I/e my mother after my step-father passed when I was younger.

    It's a deep and long voyage, but I know that you'll make it through, you just have to remind yourself that you parents are people too.
     
  3. TrueNomadSkies

    TrueNomadSkies Well-Known Member

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    This is silly. Your parents got divorced because they didn't want to be with each other, so logically speaking there's no reason why they can't see other people. As hard as it will (emotionally) be to accept it, try & see it from that side. That's honestly all I can say except to joke about possibly getting twice as many Transformers this year because people don't always live happily ever after.

    Also if you can, think of it like this. Both of your parents will ultimately be happier loving you as their son or daughter while not being together as they would unhappily being together, and that's really what matters. Not being an ass to the girlfriend doesn't mean that you favor her to your mom, and yes, she's still your mom no matter what. Instead, you're simply being an adult who's able to gauge the situation for what it is. Not saying its gonna be easy on any of you, but letting it separate you from your family is the last thing you wanna do, but as long as you're willing to accept it, you'll ultimately be on the right track.
     
  4. Bed Bugs

    Bed Bugs Haven't gone postal yet...

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    The ultimate question is how selfish do you and your sister want to be?

    Your dad has a right to be happy to ya know.
     
  5. smkspy

    smkspy Remember true fans

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    The real question is how can you use this situation to your advantage to get lots of extra shit. Stop worrying about feelings, and start worrying about all the nice materials objects you can con from your guilt stricken minds.
     
  6. kaos

    kaos the original thirteen

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    it is totally unfair for your mom to make or force you to choose sides...your father has the right to be happy as well as your mom..i went through this exact same thing when i was 15(17 years ago)..stay nuetral and explain to your mother that you love her and your father equally and WILL not under any circumstance choose who is right or wrong...its a grown-up matter and grown up folks need to work it out..
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2012
  7. power3921

    power3921 Well-Known Member

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    I realize that, I'm fine with him dating. I'd be happy to see him in a good relationship. The problem is the "with me or against me" attitude my parents seems to be taking.
     
  8. kaos

    kaos the original thirteen

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    9/10 your parents just want to know that what they feel isnt wrong and isnt hurting you..explain to them both that you understand their point of view and they have the right to feel a certain way..dad has moved on/mom is not only upset that he has, but feels betrayed that its a friend of them both...it sounds to me that your mother is more hurt that he has moved on more than the fact that it is with a family friend..thats just insult to injury in her eyes..its tuff and the only thing that you can do is to take the nuetral high ground..let em work it out, or not... but stay away from choosing sides...you'll only end up hurting one of your parents and creating more tension amongst yourselves in an already tense situation..
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2012