On Thief in the Night first.

Yeah, Broadside's first real appearance, who seemingly has no real introduction and seemingly no real connection with the season 1 and season 2 storyline. It looks like the toymakers and not the writers are unquestionably in charge of the show. For my own headcanon, I just assume Broadside was built in a similar manner as the Dinobots but the Autobots now have better personality (including intelligence programming), not that I can recall Broadside appearing to be highly intelligent.

With Metroplex, I like to think that the Autobots used the personality component from the Guardian who fought Superion in the War Dawn, but I have difficulties explaining the origins of Six-gun, Scamper and Slammer (although TF wiki says Slammer is just a drone).

With Octane, I would like to see him introduced in a series 2.5(as from dialog in Starscream's Ghost, Octane must have got on fairly well with Starscream).

On Carbomya, it is interesting that Dirge and Ramjet were there in Five Faces of Darkness. So it would be interesting to explore when the Decepticons first went to Carbomya (especially as in the movie it appears the bulk of the season 2 Decepticons had moved away from Earth some time before 2005). Maybe, there was a small Decepticon operation going on there before 2005. Or Dirge and Ramjet, heard what the Dictator was like before 2005 and thought anything is better than staying on Char.

On Thief in the Night the actual episode, as a kid I liked how it was set on earth and there was a real Autobot v Decepticon battle without any Quints. Now I see it as just a light hearted episode but I wonder what happened to Ramjet as he is never seen again in the series.

 

I liked that Thief in the Night was more Earth-centric, it's just that my biggest issue was that once you looked past the questionable Carbombya stuff, it's an episode that just doesn't have a strong heart to it. it's serviceable, but not really engaging. Which is a shame because Abdul Fakkadi's penchant for grandiose displays and proclamations would make him a good villain, and his scheming nature would play well off the Decepticons. It just sort of felt like the Autobots had no real agency on their own except to show up and defend a guy who has done nothing to deserve their protection.

What would've made the episode infinitely more interesting (and incidentally would've met Casey Kasem's request for reasonable representation of Arabic/Middle Eastern characters) was if they had set up that Carbombya (named something else that was less galling) was actually the country from Aerial Assault, and that the 20-year time-skip saw Fakkadi's military regime overthrow Prince Jumal and turn the nation from a fair one to a dictatorship. Then you could have the Aerialbots have some stake in what's happening and meet up with Jumal who is secretly leading an opposition to Fakkadi's rule. Now you have positive characters to balance out Fakkadi and his men and you give the autobots a reason to want to be involved in the fight. It would've made things more interesting.

I'm gonna get to the last 2 episodes of the week tomorrow. I got home late from a hockey game and didn't have time to sit down and watch Surprise Party tonight. I guess I'd better get used to psyching myself up to watch episodes I don't have fond memories of, because next week is going to be a really mixed bag (on the plus side are Webworld and Ghost in the Machine. On the.... other side are Carnage in C-Minor and Nightmare Planet.)

 

On Starscream's Ghost, I remember being really excited when I saw the title of the episode for the first time (I thought there must be a reason why Starscream was still in the 1986 catalog).

I like the crypt scene, but the Sweeps come across as real cowards (maybe they were Insecticon clones rather than real Insections). I find that it is interesting that Thundercracker is in the crypt (especially as in the movie Thundercracker was clearly modified into Scourge. In my headcanon, after Starscream died in the movie, Shockwave and generic built statues the markers for Megatron, Skywarp and Thundercracker.

I wish this episode was saved for later in the series, so it can make sense with Flight and Flee and Thief in the Night. The scene with Octane and the computer image with the Female robot is amusing.

This episode also makes you wonder what happened to Blitzwing (given that Blitzwing did not have a speaking role in the rest of the series, as far as I am aware.

I wonder how Galvatron escaped. The thing that irritates me is that in season 3 the Autobots are capable of traveling through space, and for Decepticons just to retreat easily annoys me. It is not like in season 1 where most of the Autobots cannot fly and chase retreating Decepticons. I would also really like to see another leader in charge of the Decepticon instead of Galvatron (who I just view as a modified version of Megatron and not a completely new leader).

 

I intended to have Surprise Party finished tonight, but with like 10 minutes left in the episode I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Tomorrow for sure I'll get it done and try to get through all of Madman's Paradise as well. I don't want to drag into Monday to finish, and I haven't skipped an episode yet, so I don't want to start doing so now.

 

Starscream’s Ghost

Felt weird watching this knowing that Octane basically replaces Blitzwing. There’s a couple of lines in the episode that certainly would fit better if it was referring to Blitzwing. Apparently selling toys are strong enough reason to just replace a character’s role. It’s okay, I guess.

This episode is two story and features two main characters. Surprisingly, the pacing doesn’t feel all that bad. The first half basically tells the story of Octane, establishing him as a character, the status quo and the adventures of him escaping every assassination attempt. Then comes Starscream and the subsequent sets of schemes proceeding it. They managed to cram so many things and it doesn’t turn out disastrous.

One particular plus points from me is the fact that the entire episode’s tone is rather comical. Quite fitting as it deals with things as silly as robot ghosts coming back to life.

Grade: A
(Oh yeah, I watched the episodes in chronological order so I saw Thief in the Night first. Thank god. It makes the watching experience just slightly better)

 

Thief in the Night


This one’s strange. While I don’t care much if the whole Carbombya thing is politically insensitive or not, this episode certainly missed a few great opportunities to make it a great one. Decepticons having a government ally is something that is super interesting and could’ve been expanded upon more but they chose not to.

The majority of the plot revolves around Octane and Trypticon dealing with the Carbombyan, while the Autobots conducts several investigations. Most of the things that happened between these plot points are pretty silly - i.e. how easy it was for Trypticon to stole those historical buildings intact or how the Autobots struggled to deduct faster who’s behind all of the stealing despite the clues were all there (although to be fair, the writers did try to establish that the Autobots thought Trypticon was unoperational. Regardless, investigating the Dinobots is still silly since no Dinobot have footprints that large).

Nevertheless, there was enough things going on that made me intrigued. The silliness were fun. However, it’s downfall projected in how they tried to introduce a subplot in the form of Autobot distrust in the 17th minute of the episode, that as a result gave them not enough time to even wrap up that subplot at all. I do feel that the climax could’ve been done much more … well, climactic. Trypticon was defeated too easily. Or how it should’ve involved Octane so it connects better with Starscream’s Ghost.

Grade: C (Average, still fun)

 

I said above and in the review, I still think it would've been more interesting if instead of inventing a new country for the episode to take place in, they had said that in the 20 years between season 2 and the movie that Fakkadi and his men had staged a coup and overthrown the government of Prince Jumal, making this the same country we saw in Aerial Assault. That's a story setup that becomes a win all around:

1) It gives the Autobots a reason to be concerned and involved from the very beginning rather than showing up 5 minutes from the end because Fakkadi decides to grovel to Rodimus Prime and ask for help since *gasp* the Decepticons are actually jerks who won't honor their deals.

2) It gives the Aerialbots, who are probably the most prominent Autobots to feature in this episode, a strong motivation to fight Trypticon since they were personal friends of Jumal and would want to see him get justice for him and his people. Which would also help maybe finally rid them of their sorta-jerk status and solve the personality issues they've had since their debut episodes.

3) It gives Fakkadi a greater reason to stick it out and put up with the Decepticons' treachery and dickery because he needs them to maintain his grip on the country as a few years of running it into the ground has taken away all his support. That way they don't have to pull the 11th hour begging-for-help bit to trigger the climax.

4) It takes away some of the necessity of the landmark-stealing plot and the doofy bits around that like accusing the Dinobots or world governments blaming the Autobots for what happened (Which is relevant for all of about 20 seconds until it's not anymore because Fakkadi begs for help and everything's cool again afterward)

5)It provides a small tie to the pre-movie history of the show, which the series rarely did at this point. That's something for the fans who've watched the whole time to enjoy, but it's also something that doesn't have to be big enough to confuse kids who don't remember the previous episodes or who haven't watched the series all the way through

6) It assuages Mr. Kasem's request for positive Arabic characters by allowing them to showcase Jumal and his deposed government who are fighting to free their people from the rule of Fakkadi.

7) If nothing else it also partially redeems Aerial Assault, which was an otherwise bland episode aside from the insanity of Megatron's plot focusing around a giant purple griffin fortress/bot/thing

I also agree that there should've been something else with Octane that paid off at the end to set up his outcast status in Starscream's Ghost. Because it's obvious they just shoehorned in the line about this episode to his dialogue in that one to justify talking about being branded a traitor, and that it was really meant to be about Blitzwing "betraying" Galvatron to save him from the Quintessons in FFOD. Octane ends the episode fighting and retreating alongside Galvatron and the other Decepticons with no indication that he's in trouble. I guess it's not unreasonable to think that Galvatron went full Crazy Galvatron™ afterward and banished Octane on a whim, but I dislike having to resort to "if you think about it, this could make sense" fanwank explanations with no basis in provided canon.

 

He's off somewhere else being awesome. That's what he's doing.   Any shots of him in crowds are simply animation errors.

I think this would've been a damned fine idea all-around.

 

Thanks, man.

I couldn't even try to sit through Surprise Party for a critical viewing because I'd have to listen to Wheelie's voice again and again. Am going to give it a watch just to be up and talking with the rest of you and understand where you're going from with your commentary.

I just finished putting together my review of Madman's Paradise so it should be up sometime tomorrow. I've started doing the typing and pasting it in a document first so I don't leave a bunch of unfinished parts hanging around the place.

All I got left is to go over the review tomorrow and do some polishing and slip in a word where I might have skipped one (I notice I do that a lot in my reviews).

 

All good points, I think I enjoy season 3 now (more so than as a kid) as I have time to fill in the gaps with some headcanon. Otherwise, there is precious little connection between season 2 and season 3. As such as a kid, seasons one and two were must watch, but season 3 was not. I kept watching, but not with any real excitement.

In my mind, it interesting to think about what caused the Decepticons to move en-masse back to Cybertron from Earth. I like to think that in the mid to late 1980s they were getting fuel from the old soviet bloc (with permission) and the Autobots could do precious little with the USSR government. With the fall of the Berlin Wall, I can imagine the Decepticons losing their protection in the former USSR and moving pretty much all of their forces back to Cybertron and other parts of the galaxy (to get more fuel for Cybertron). Where Fakkadi first fits in with the Decepticons is hard to establish, especially as many seem not to have tasted the fuel from Carboyma before.

It would have been interesting to track the retreat from Earth to Chaar. Maybe in space on the retreat from Earth, Galvatron just went berserk at Octane or Octane just went absent without leave (because of potential ramifications) and Galvatron and the others got back to Chaar, and saw no Octane and thought Octane must be a traitor. I just cannot see Octane successfully fleeing Char with pretty much the whole Decepticon army being there.

The story would have definitely worked better with Blitzwing though and according to TF wiki Octane only appears once after Ghost in the Machine (in the Ultimate Weapon - not sure if this a mistake). So the writers could have just featured Octane more than say Cyclonus or the Sweeps to sell more Octane toys.

 

Agree about the crowd shots. I always like to think that there is at least one group of Miltary Hardware robots (who are not Decepticons) who did not join Megatron 9M years ago and Blitzwing joined them and they pretty much are low-level space pirates.

 

SURPRISE PARTY

THE SHORT VERSION
Daniel and Wheelie just about bring about the destruction of the Autobots because of their carlessness. But somehow this didn't convince Rodimus to lock them in a room for the rest of the war.

REVIEW
I honestly don't have a lot to say about this episode. The plot is razor thin and is largely an excuse to carry us to the hostage situation that is the climax of the episode. But even that is somewhat thin and in the end we are left with the sense that a bunch of stuff happened and none of it really matters.

It doesn't help that most of the episode is carried by Daniel and Wheelie, a pair of unlikable characters who bumble and stumble their way into every interesting thing that occurs and that the Decepticons' plot is less of a devious scheme and more of a simple crime of total accident and opportunity. I just don't have anything to really say that strongly about this episode other than the fact that I don't like Daniel and I don't like Wheelie and it was a bit of a chore to get through because of that. It's rare that I get as worked up about the human sidekicks and kida-appeal characters as some people do, but it's times like this where I miss good old teenage Spike and teh apparent total concealed disdain that I joked about the Autobots having for him. Because none of even that charm is present with his son.

THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS

Spoiler

-This episode is the one and only series writing credit for either of Steve Mitchell or Barbara Petty. They did, unsurprisingly, also contribute scripts to other Hasbro shows like Jem and GI Joe though.

-It's somewhat worth noting now that on the back of Barbara Petty getting a writing credit here, G1 had a lot more women writer representation than I remember or would've expected for a 1980s cartoon about toy robots for boys. 9 different female writers wrote or co-wrote across 13 different episodes of this series. It doesn't sound like a lot, especially for a series that had somewhere in the neighborhood of 45 credited writers in its 98 episodes (that number of writers shocked me and puts into persepctive how valuable someone like David Wise or Don Glut was to have knocked out 6-10 episodes on their own.

-It sure is good for Cybertron, a planet of 10-foot-tall robots, to have so many controls and doorways that are appropriately sized for a squishy sub-6-foot human.

-Oh god oh god oh god oh god. Ultra Magnus is smiling. It's... unsettling.

-Don't interrupt, Wheelie. That's dickish behaviour.

-Galvatron is watching the Autobots throw Daniel a surprise party on his monitors from... wheverever he is? That's gotta be the best spy tech in the series. It doesn't even appar that he's using Lazerbeak or Buzzsaw to spy on them.

-First-Aid, noted pacifist, is out with all the Autobots trying to brutally gun down his attackers.

-Blast Off can apprently mass shift in order to fit the other Combaticons inside him for transport like Astrotrain does. That's interesting.

-This has to be the most humans we've ever seen on Cybertron. All wearing Spike's jumpsuit thing too.

-The Cybertronian archive is full of actual books. That's amazing.

-The whole concept of the storage astroid seems like a monumentally bad plan. Just shot all of the Autobot history and information way out into space somewhere to maybe retrieve at a later date if they can get around to it and if nothing goes wrong. Why not just bury it in some unknown place within Cybertron?

-Wheelie convinces Daniel to steal a ship. He's clearly a bad influence. Today it's ships, tomorrow he's stealing energon and pirating DVDs.

-Galvatron's going to look mighty foolish when he blows up the wayward shuttle and finds out all he did was kill Wheelie and Daniel. But to some he'd end up being the greatest hero in Cybertronian history.

-Wheelie and Daniel's shuttle hits some meteors in a shower and crashes randomly on a larger body. How much do you want to bet that by pure happenstance this ends up being exactly the astroid they're looking for?

-How long has it been that Daniel and Wheelie are missing and nobody seems to know or care?

-Oh god, Magnus is smiling again.

-And now on cue Spike wonders where his son is. I don't want to say that Spike and Carly (who hasn't even appeared yet post-movie) are bad parents, but...

-So now Daniel and Wheelie are best on by weird lizardy space leech things. And it's treated as significantly dangerous even though we don't exactly know why?

-That was weird. A scene transition that doesn't actually mark a change in scene at all, and comes without the usual jingle.

-Wheelie explictly sends Daniel through the door first becuase it's dangerous. He really is a terrible friend.

-Yep, it's the storage asteroid. Wheelie and Daniel are the luckiest "explorers" in the universe.

-Security bots that attack interlopers the very first time they say something that the computer doesn't recognize seems like a hilariously Decpeticon level of security.

-At least the security bots are pleasant.

-Why would Cyclonus shoot the security bots? Why not let them finish of the kid and the Autobot? Crazy Galvatron wouldn't approve of this show of sentimentality.

-I like the quick cut way that we're following Ultra Magnus tracking down Daniel and Wheelie, showing half of his conversation with Perceptor, then cutting mid-stream to the custodian bot in the hall of records. But the fact that he doesn't even finish his sentence before it's another transition back to Cyclonus is kinda odd.

-OK. Cyclonus didn't let Daniel and Wheelie get killed because he wanted to ransom them.

-The storage asteroid is perfectly spherical. That's terrible camoflauge.

-I don't know if it's just my version of the episode, but when Cyclonus is ransoming the prisoners to Magnus and Spike, he says "I have not harmed the boy boy's friend", cutting out what I guess is an "or". It almost makes it sound like "I have not harmed the boy's boyfriend" which would cast Wheelie and Daniel in a whole other light.

-Sky Lynx's appearance in this episode is weird. It shows him transforming from shuttle mode to just the "lion" or whatever ground mode he has, as if he's a triple changer. Normally he's depicted as if the blue undercarriage of his shuttle can separate and turn into the lion thing, while his usual transformed mode of a quadrapedal bird pterodactyl thing is made up of the lion piece and shuttle pieces linked together. Here the shuttle parts pack up and disappear into the lion-ish body. Strangely that's something that even AKOM gets right.

-Wheelie and Daniel sat in the room they were locked into as if they were imprisoned. But then Wheelie just crashed through the door and shattered it like it was nothing. so really what was keeping them inside if nobody was standing guard?

-Sky Lynx isn't going with Ultra Magnus because he won't fit through the tunnels of the storage astroid's interior. But in this scene at least he's not really shown as being any larger than Magnus is. Huh.

-Magnus is getting tons of use out of his shoulder missiles in this episode.

-On the whole the fight between Magnus and Cyclonus is quite interesting.

-At least the first cuts were. The second scene after Wheelie takes off to check on them is a loop of rock'em sock'em robots.

-For all their technology, clearly the idea of a spellchecker evaded Cybertronian science.

-Wheelie sets the auto-destruct on the asteroid, but nobody thinks to find a way to retrieve the backups of the data. This was all the collected knowledge and science from before the great war. And by the sounds of it was the only copy of some of that data. Imagine what important things were lost when the asteroid went up in a cosmic fireball, never to be retrieved. That seems like kind of a big deal but nobody really cares.

-Who shouts "Happy Birthday, Ultra Magnus!"? There's nobody in the room except Spike, Daniel, Magnus, and Wheelie.

-Wheelie's voice drives me nuts. But at least this nightmare is over.

FAVORITE LINES
"You are insolent, earth boy. Your insolence will only earn you pain."
-Cyclonus says what the fandom is thinking (and hoping)


Final Grade: C-


Working on Madman's Paradise right now. I'll get it done before I go to bed. I swear.

 

MADMAN'S PARADISE

THE SHORT VERSION
Who knew an episode about magic and wizards and inter-dimensional travel could be so boring

REVIEW
@Scoff was right. This episode is just sort of... there. You'd think that something with more Quintessons and a bit of Cybertronian history and travel to an alternate dimension/world with magic and wizards and all that stuff would be super fun. But mostly it doesn't really do anything interesting with the concept. The double cross is kinda cool and the concept of Grimlock and the Autobots accidentally helping the wrong side is a neat twist that could've been more interestingly treated, but in the end it's just a piece of a bland puzzle that doesn't really add up. The first appearance of post-time-skip Carly feels wasted as her limited role is to fret about her son and not really contribute like we know she's capable of, and indeed most of the transformers in this episode don't really get to do a lot except tag along for the ride as the plot drags them towards the finish. And the fact that it's a plot that revolves mostly around Daniel and the increasingly unlikeable Comdey Grimlock doesn't really help.

I feel like I'm short-changing this review by having it just be the one paragraph, but I honestly don't have a lot to talk about. On the one hand it's bland, on the other the whole fantasy element feels like it could've just been lifted whole cloth from a completely different series and script aside from the Quintesson twist and in the end it's an episode that really accomplishes nothing and can be forgotten as quickly as we move on. Which in my case is going to be in the next couple of days.

THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS

Spoiler

-Standard author mention: Craig Rand was a guy who wrote just one episode of the series (this one). He also did some other stuff, most of which doesn't seem cool enough to mention. Moving on.

-It's a nice shot of Cybertron that we start on. It's rare in this season that I get to kick back and make positive comments about the art and design, so I'll take the options whenever they pop up.

-This episode seems to establish that Spike's acutal job now is to be Earth's ambassador to Cybertron. He sure moved up from being an oil rig worker who didn't appear to have graduated from high school.

-It's also the first appearance of Carly since the time-skip and confirmation that she married Spike and is Daniel's mother. I wonder how often she thinks about what other amazing things she could've done with her MIT education if she hadn't been saddled with a pair of Witwickys.  

-Apparently in the future capes will be fashionable once again. Then again we're like 14 years past this future and capes have never been fashionable, so I'm beginning to suspect that the series lied to me.

-I guess this ambassador is supposed to have chameleon-like color changing ability to show her emotions or whatever? But how does her clothing and jewelry change color too?

-Arlene Banas pulls double duty here as both Carly and the ambassador. I guess Frank Welker was too busy?  

-Daniel's kind of a dick to the ambassador. that apology was awful. If I had made that sort of non-apology in front of my parents I'd probably have been grounded.

-Daniel kicks a metal cog along the ground. That thing looks heavy and solid and makes me wonder if this indicates that Daniel has steel-toed dress shoes for his space-tuxedo.

-I normally really dislike everything that stupid season 3 comedy Grimlock stands for (and I embrace the hypocrisy of saying that while my avatar is a comic panel version of Grimlock with a mortarboard and pointer appearing to give some kind of math/physics lecture), but can we stop for a second and marvel at Grimlock with a bowtie?

-Daniel kicking that cog and having it comedically rebound until it hits a random panel that's actually a secret switch for a hidden passage is at least as flukey/lucky as him and Wheelie stumbling on the storage asteroid by total dumb luck last episode. Or is it more lucky for us this time around because at least Wheelie isn't here

-Is it just me or is Grimlock getting more childlike as the season progresses?

-Doofy Grimlock just zinged California. Take that, California!

-The weird cyclops treefolk thing throws an energy boomerang at Grimlock and Daniel's response is to plug his ears and close his eyes? And to think that it's usually not until Headmasters that people start ragging on him for acting like a toddler.

-I have a feeling I'm going to miss proactive, I-can-handle-myself Carly when we get to Headmasters.

-Grimlock, able to beat up countless Decepticons, but felled here by a bunch of weird tree cyclops centaur monsters. Argh...

-The fact that the guy in the red cloak has tentacle arms seems like a pretty big tipoff that he's evil.

-He also just totally killed that treeclops thing.

-And he sounds shockingly like Perceptor. Shocking dual identity?

-Grimlock makes a pretty awful point: "everyone here stranger. us not go with stranger, us not go!" Yeah, not going with weird people in general is probably a grand idea.

-I like that we hear the red cloak guy's narration of events and have it juxtaposed against the visuals that show the truth. It's a surprisingly developed narrative choice.

-Ramhorn suddenly doesn't talk in this episode after being able to form sentences in his last appearances.

-The fact that the red wizard has wooden robots that look vaguely like original run Transformers is a nice bit of foreshadowing.

-Not that I'm against more appearances from Rewind (SPOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!), but how in the hell does he manage to "best guess" his way to figuring out where Daniel and Grimlock went? There doesn't appear to be any visible evidence that's the panel they touched, so he's just picking a panel out of a hat and going "yeah, that one" and it turns out he's right.

-Several of these Quintessons have oddly arabic sounding names (Al-Bahd, Mara-Al-Utha) which is in stark contrast to the faux latin names that other Quintessons have been given (like Deliberata)

-Perceptor brings up a very good point: we have no idea if the portals in that room work in two directions to bring people back. But Ultra Magnus takes Blaster, his cassettes, and Carly all through the portal without a second though. What would he have done if he had stranded them all there?

-The fact that there's a real red-cloaked pupil of the Golden One and that the Red Wizard's form is a disguise feels like an over-complication. They could've just had Dnaiel encounter an unexpected pupil of the Golden One as a prisoner in the dungeon without the confusing need to have this twist put into play.

-Daniel has a lightsaber knife type blade? Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to give this kid something that dangerous? It's a wonder he hasn't chopped off his own arm by now.

-But on the other hand, it also seems to be as dull as a plastic picnic knife given how long he has to hold it to the cloth straps binding the other prisoner before they tear away.

-Grimlock's comedic nature is exemplified by the fact that he gets clocked in the head by a giant boulder and has almost no reaction to it other than a pained grunt and to call for "Wizzy"

-Wow, the missing frames in Grimlock's transformation.

-Also does he just inadvertently cause the death of a bunch of prisoners in the dungeon by crushing them under debris?

-Grimlock has... a sword. Not his normal sword, but a sword nonetheless.

-You know, it would've actually been a fun twist if Daniel had been duped and the guy in the dungeon was the real villain all along. But the chances of that happening were slim considering it's sillier to have Comedy Grimlock get suckered by the real bad guy.

-Seriously, how does Carly know that the random piece of cloth that she finds is Daniel's? It could be from anything!

-Carly jokingly complains that she doesn't get a hug from Daniel, but does she actually hug him? Nope.

-The Golden One is clearly wearing a cup on his head.

-How did Ultra Magnus suddenly see into the tower window to recoginze a Quintesson?

-Steeljaw basically seems to have one roar clip that they just play over and over again.

-They totally killed that Quintesson. In spite of what the Golden One says, he's certainly dead.

-I'll admit, Perceptor poking his microscope lens through the portal to check on everyone is funny

-Grimlock wants to know what's so funny? Not the ending. That's for sure... Ugh.

FAVORITE LINES
"Don't panic yet. Stay calm until we know what's going on. Then we'll panic.
-Rodimus Prime may not have Optimus' confidence or awe-inspiring bearing, but at least he knows how to make cutting deadpan jokes better than his predecessor.


Final Grade: C

 

I won't likely put up the official start for the next batch of episodes until tomorrow evening in part to accommodate Scoff's pending review of Madman's Paradise, but just as a preview, here's where we're headed:

Nightmare Planet
Ghost in the Machine
Webworld
Carnage in C-Minor

Looks like another mixed bag week.

 

Wait. Didn't she appear in Five Faces of Darkness during the Galactic Olympics?


Yeah. he's a screen grab from the wiki. She was there.

I like that.Gives a bit of variety to their species.  

 

Madman’s Paradise (I)

Spoiler: "Madman's Paradise: "Thief Warrior Gladiator King"

“Madman’s Paradise”
Written by Craig Rand

We open on an alien ambassador being welcomed to Cybertron by Rodimus who introduces her to Spike (Earth’s ambassador to Cybertron) and his family.


She attended MIT on a scholarship and still somehow ended up getting introduced as just "his wife". Couldn't even have given her a doctorate so she could at least have been introduced as "his wife, Doctor Carley Witwicky."

Anyway, the ambassador finds Daniel to be quite the charming although she expresses it in her own alien but well-meaning way.


Ambassador Inara: “What a darling post-embryonic form.”

For some reason, I just love that line. I think it’s because it got that charm that is so endearing about a lot of this show’s sillier stuff. I also love the voice that they chose for the ambassador as well as the design they went with for her. She’s one of those instances where the show gives a memorable voice and design to a minor character.

Daniel doesn't share my fondness, however.


Daniel: “Darling? Yuck!”

Rodimus tells him to show a little courtesy, reminding him that the ambassador was complementing him. The ambassador so embarrassed that she might have offended him that she turns pink. I like her. She seems like a sweet old lady.

Prompted by Rodimus, Daniel says that everything is fine but in that tone of voice where it’s clear to everyone that it’s not. Rodimus thanks him and Spike tells the ambassador that human young can be very sensitive but that the feeling passes

I might be biased to be on Daniel's side here but I was dragged to a lot of social gatherings as a child and I spent that time bored out of my mind, so I'm just mostly "What did you expect? You dragged the kid to a boring diplomatic party where he gets to be uncomfortable and has to deal with strangers all night."

On the other hand, if he had gotten to stay home, this episode might have had Wheelie in it.

Anyway, Daniel asks to be excused and Spike says sure but tells him to stay out of trouble and to keep the tuxedo clean.


By the way, I haven’t mentioned that Carly is rocking a cape and I want to mention that Carly is rocking a cape because it looks good. Like, she looks like someone out of an 80’s sci fi movie. Spike looks like he’s about to go on stage in some Broadway play about a con salesman and Daniel-


Well, he looks like cartoon kid televangelist out of Texas.

What I’m saying is that Spike should have gotten over his lack of taste in formal wear and let Carley dress the whole family for this because she’s clearly the only one who dressed appropriately for the occasion.

Daniel walks away from the party and while complaining that there isn’t anyone to get into trouble with, he happened to cross the path of Grimlock who is now a waiter.


Yup.

Would you believe me if I told you that his masterpiece figure actually came with a replica of this outfit?

If there’s one thing that you’re going to remember about this episode, let it be this. I watched part of this episode long ago and this was the only part I remembered - I don’t even think I finished the episode - and really, having watched the episode from start to finish, I think that’s only fair because is the only thing worth remembering about this episode.

Still, that also begs the question of who thought it was a good idea to hire a Dinobot to do waitering, let alone at an important event? They’re clumsy, forgetful and at least, two of them (one of which is Grimlock!) has got a temper. I’m gonna guess that it was Rodimus’ idea because he’s got exactly the lack of diplomatic tact that leads me to believe that he would have thought this was a good idea.

Putting a Dinobot in charge of waitering isn’t just asking for disaster, it’s actively courting it, and making Grimlock do it in his dino mode is going straight up to disaster and slapping it in the face. I remind you that Grimlock once destroyed part of the Ark with his tail just by turning around and that was by accident.

This is one of the examples people cite when they talk about how season three used Grimlock for comedic relief at the expense of his other character traits… and I agree. For the sake of honesty, I should say that it didn't bother me for a long time because I was just always happy that he and the other Dinobots survived the movie unscathed and that he still appeared in episodes, but having watched the other episodes in conjunction with this one as part of the rewatch thread my opinion has sinced changed because it's a lot harder to ignore, when you're not watching each episodes sporadically, that Grimlock is a different character in season three than he is season one and two.

However, I won't be going into that in the review itself. I will instead be saving it for the conclusion where it will receive its own section. This is mainly because I'll be pointing to examples in this episode and I feel it'll be smoother to do that at the end of the review rather than throughout it.


Anyway, Daniel is so caught up in his own sulking that he doesn’t seem to notice Grimlock following him despite the guy being a giant robot reptile with incredible loud footsteps.


Grimlock: “Me Grimlock play!”

Daniel, you’re complaining that there’s no one to get in trouble with and there’s a giant robot tyrannosaurus rex behind you saying he wants to play. I take it back. You’re a dolt and I feel no sympathy for your predicament.

(By the way, Grimlock must have tossed his tray between scenes because it’s gone in this one, which serves as another good example of why getting Grimlock to waiter was a terrible idea. He drops the job at the first chance he gets)


Grimlock: “Me Grimlock not like this place…”

Don’t ignore him, you twerp. He’s a veteran.

Grimlock asks where Daniel is going, and he finally answers although just by saying that he doesn’t care. The cog he’s been kicking down the street bounces all around the alley - No, I don’t know how. Maybe the Autobots decide to go the fun route and use rubber-metal to rebuild Cybertron – anyway, it hits a panel on a wall and opens a secret passageway.


Daniel: “Wauw, a secret tunnel.”

Grimlock goes in for a closer look and accidentally pushes Daniel down into the tunnel.


Although, it looks suspiciously like he bumped Daniel, much to my amusement.


Grimlock: Me Grimlock no like being ignored.

Grimlock, falls in shortly after - due to being Grimlock - and loses his uniform in the process when it gets caught on something.


Pictured: Plot Relevant.

Oh, and he also loses his bowtie but how that happened I couldn't tell so I’m just going to pretend that he tossed it aside while doing down the slide. You know, I really want a parody episode of James Bond but with Grimlock.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the slide.

Because of course, there's a slide.


That’s not a criticism or anything. I fully expected there to be a slide.

Mind you, it does get a whole bit silly in hindsight when you remember who built Cybertron (and when you learn the purpose of this chamber). Hey, the Quintessons may have been brutal overlords without compare but give them this, they knew how to make going down to the supply closet for tape fun.

It would almost make the hourly whippings worth it.

But I digress, at the end of the slide, it turns into a ramp that sends Daniel careening through the air.


Daniel: “Grimlock!”

He manages to narrowly catch onto the edge on the other side.


Grimlock: “Me Grimlock comiiiing!”

Daniel shouts for Grimlock to transform and grab for it.


I would have laughed so hard if he had grabbed Daniel instead of the edge.


Grimlock: “Fun. Grimlock and Daniel do again?”

This is why Grimlock is best Autobot leader. He knows how to have fun.

Daniel tells Grimlock maybe and they continue on.


By the way, this episode features a whole lot of Grimlock’s robot mode, and I approve because it doesn’t appear as often in season three as it did in season one and two, which is a shame because it looks awesome. It’s just such a cool design with the visor-mask combo, the little wings with the tiny claws, the spiked wrists and the tri-colored legs.

Anyway, the they enter into a strange room that is largely covered in what looks to be ancient alien Egyptian glyphs. Daniel wonders what the place was for.


I’m not sure but I think the bottom one is about a war fought between musical notes and the one above it involved a giant bird of some kind. My bets on a seagull. Or maybe a perkin.

Grimlock says he’ll find out and transforms so he can blow away the dusts.


I was about to joke about how it seemed like needless busywork to transform just to do this but then I remembered that he doesn’t actually have a mouth in his robot mode so he would have to transform.

Turns out a room left abandoned for millions and millions of years has accumulated a lot of dusts and being the only creature in the room with eyes and a nose, Daniel suffers the blunt of it so Grimlock stops. Still, it’s cleared the tiles.


Because they were so illegible before.

One panel, depicting a dragon above a group of men holding lightning bolts, catches Daniel’s eye.


Daniel: “Neat monster!”


Grimlock: “Not monster. Handsome like me Grimlock.”

While strutting his stuff, Grimlock accidentally taps the panel. It makes the whole room illuminate and our two bold explorers step back in surprise right onto the big red dot in the middle of the room that starts to glow at they do so.

Okay, that one’s on you too, Daniel.


Daniel: “Now, what did you?”
Grimlock: “Dunno. Make mistake?”

They take it surprisingly well, I should mention. I get Grimlock but I gotta give Daniel props for being so calm about the whole thing.


They get deposited out of the sky somewhere unknown.


Fortunately for Daniel, it’s a short fall.

He wonders where they are and Grimlock offers his best guess: California.


Grimlock: “Not Cybertron. California maybe.”

Daniel doesn’t think so, arguing that even California isn’t this weird.


As if to emphasis the weirdness of not-California, we are treated to this bat-thing taking flight. It makes… noises. I’m not sure how to describe them. It helps clue our intrepid heroes in that they aren’t anywhere on Earth.


Grimlock: “Ugly bird. Me Grimlock no like.”
Daniel: “We better find the way home.”

By the way, that thing was the size of Grimlock’s head so Daniel’s lucky he was standing right beside him otherwise he might get to relive his dad’s glory days as an explorer on Dinobot Island.


Spike: “Heeeeelp!”

The reptile-bat flies off towards castle in the distance.


Pictured here.

It lands on a windowsill to a room that clearly belongs to a sorcerer or alchemist of some kind.


Or to me if the clutter is anything to go by.


It appears the creature is a spy that belongs to red-cloaked figure who resides within the castle, which, now that I think about it, would make him the fantasy version of Soundwave, wouldn’t it?

Sorcerwave-in-red thinks they might be minions of the “Golden one” or something interested. He cast his magic upon a mirror to see for himself.


Sparkle, sparkle!


He expresses delight at the sight of Grimlock and Daniel, noting to himself that they are new to Pnemonia- I mean, Menonia.

(Nice not-crop there, show)

Our cloaked figure proves himself to be of a sinister character by having an evil chuckle at the news.


“Very good, sweet pet. Very interesting indeed.”


Daniel: “Grimlock, I don’t think we’re alone.”


Grimlock: “Me Grimlock feels surrounded.”


Cloaks: Darn it, why do I always forget that this is a two-way mirror?

Actually, what our worrisome duo is sensing is the trees.


Which abruptly turns into these terrifying things.


Oh, and they have wooly wooden warthogs for legs.

Props for the design, though. That is an oddly creative centaur take.

The treetaurs demands to know who they are and without giving Daniel or Grimlock a chance to answer, they then immediately demand to know who they fight for. And then they demand to know who they are again and then the treetaurs say that they fight for the Golden One.


Guys, I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job (whatever it is) but maybe give people a chance to actually answer your questions. Seriously, they don’t even cut Grimlock and Daniel off, they just spout off a bunch of questions (and one answer) in a row.


Grimlock: “Uh, us not fight for anyone.”


Daniel: What about the Autobots?


Grimlock: Meh.

 

Madman’s Paradise (II)

Spoiler: Madman's Paradise: "Thief Warrior Gladiator King"

Well, the treetaurs don't like that answer one bit so they break into the standard disapproving mob mumbling.

Oh, and they attack.


One of them pulls a glowing boomerang from his armpit and tosses it at Grimlock.


Which prompts Daniel to stick his fingers in his ears for some reason.

Grimlock just catches the thing with his teeth with his teeth like a boss and eats it.


Grimlock: “Not like noise but taste okay.”

Literally. Eats. It.

Like a motherfragging boss.


The treetaur decides to pull out a good ol' chain and ball to see if that works any better.


It doesn’t.


Bizarrely, before he yanked it, the chain around Grimlock’s throat started to smoke in the back and it sounded like it was hard on him but I can’t figure out whether it’s because it’s supposed to be crushing his throat or if he’s struggling against the pull of the treetaur. Given Grimlock’s impressive strength and durability, neither sounds particularly plausible.

The treetaurs charge and-


Aaand we flip badges back to Carley looking for Daniel.

Okay.

Guess we're doing this now.

Ultra Magnus tells her that Daniel can’t have gotten far.


Spike and Rodimus run (?) up to them with Ambassador Inara who asks if she is looking for her spawn – and that is one of the times someone has said that and not meant it as an insult – whom she says she saw leave with that Dinobot. Both Carley and Ultra Magnus immediately know which one.


Carley & Ultra Magnus: “Grimlock!”

I’m glad Rodimus had the sense not to deck disaster repeatedly in the face by hiring more than one Dinobot for this gig. Can you imagine if he’d brought Slag on for this? Oh wait, I can.


This is what happens when someone asks for cesium salami on their sandwich and doesn’t take no for an answer.

Rodimus got this whole thing in hand, though. No, no, not the catering. He’s proven quite inept at that. No, I mean keeping everyone from panicking.


Rodimus: “Don’t panic yet. Stay calm until we know what’s going on then we’ll panic.”

Good job, Chosen One.

You notice as an adult that Rodimus gets a lot of good lines. You also notice that he doesn’t really have a filter and that ends up taking him down the route that a lot of snarky characters go down, but we’ll get to that in Flight or Flee.

I will say this (and I’ll say it here because I got sick when the movie was up) that I think Rodimus would have gotten a less hostile response from kids if the movie had been structured around Optimus Prime’s death, specifically coping with his death. If they had made grief the movie’s central theme and reframed Hot Rod’s character around that, effectively making him the character whom the audience could relate to in regards to their own grief over Optimus Prime’s death, that might have helped mitigate or even erase the predictable dislike a lot of kids aimed at him for his perceived (and unintentional) culpability in their childhood hero and father figure’s death.

It would also have given him a meaning character journey, but I digress, Rodimus orders Ultra Magnus to take Blaster and the cassettes to find their missing kids.

Spike wants to come along, but Carley says that it’s okay, he’s needed here. She says they’ll let him know if there’s any problem.


Personally, I think Carley is just bored out of her mind and eager to jump to any excuse to escape the party.


Look how stunned Spike is, oh my god.

Maybe he’s trying to ditch the party too and Carley just shot his excuse down as revenge for him dragging her and Daniel to this political borefest.

A quick slide to the side and Blaster is here, no need to fear (his line, not mine)


Blaster: “Blaster’s here, no need to fear.”

See?

Blaster puts Ramhorn, Eject (who has his gun out for some reason) and Steeljaw on the case but mostly Steeljaw. The others are just there to get their contractually obligated screen time.


It was called the Buzzsaw-Frenzy clause.

(By the way, I had to check whether this was Eject or Rewind because they don’t get named and they haven’t had any memorable moments that helps me remember which is which. Frenzy at least had “Countdown to Extinction” and “City of Steel” where he was named and shown alongside Rumble doing amusing things like picking fights with Skywarp or trying to mug people in Central Park)


Blaster: “My man Steeljaw can sniff out any trail if it’s hot or if it’s not.”

I like that line.

Steeljaw goes running and the others follow while we flip our badges back to Daniel and Grimlock and their fantasy shenanigans.


That treetaur is either incredible weak or Daniel is a lot stronger than he should humanly be at his age.


Grimlock’s not exactly having a hard time either. He’s a giant robot dinosaur up against people made of wood so he’s just tossing them aside as they come running (riding?)


One guy has had enough and lights his sword. He strikes Grimlock in the leg with it and soon, Grimlock's leg is encased in ice.


I could have used this shot to illustrate it but honestly, I thought the other one looked too weirdly badass pass up. Also, is it just me or does it look like he has pigtails in the shot above?

Anyway, Grimlock topples over and as for Daniel?


The universe has righted itself as far as he is concerned.


Grimlock can’t get back up for some reason, and right as we fade to black, I wonder how this works with his tail.


We cut back to tree dude (treetaur got old and centree doesn’t have the right ring to it) ordering that our unlucky wanderers be taken to the stockades.

Daniel shouts for Grimlock who's busy lightly bumping tree people off him with his foot as they try in vain to take him away.


Yeah, good luck dragging that, guys.

(It’s actually quite comical)

Also, Grimlock’s tail is now free in front of him instead of pinned behind his back like before.


From his castle, our strange Soundwave-like sorcerer (look, I miss Soundwave okay) observes that the “metal dragon” was winning until the warriors applied their crude magical weapons. He notes that he could make use of such brute power.

He casts a spell out through his window.


Magical tentacle!


It reaches the sky above the tree-beasts and their captives. They drop Daniel and run for it.


Evidently, to turn back into trees, perhaps as a defense mechanism.


If so, it doesn’t work for all of them. One of them is struck and breaks beneath the strength of the bolt, letting out a dying scream as he is split in two. Green oozes from the remains of his body.


Grimlock and Daniel are fine, though.


Grimlock frees his leg by smashing it against the ground, shattering the ice that encased it, and I’m wondering why he didn’t do that before. While the treemen were on him pretty quickly with ropes, it didn’t look like they nor their ropes had the strength to actually hold him.


Their mysterious benefactor in red appears – he literally just appears in the next shot – and welcomes them to Menonia. He asks “the young one” what his name is and from whence come he. I suppose he could be asking Grimlock and Daniel just got a little presumptuous.

Daniel introduces himself as Daniel from Cybertron.


And totally doesn’t notice the no-name’s tentacle hand transforming into a regular hand.


Or maybe I’m being presumptuous and Daniel’s just too polite to point it out. That is fair.

But still, you’d think it would have warranted a gasp at least.

Cloaky (who still hasn’t introduced himself because mutual introductions are for people not from Menonia apparently) asks who Daniel’s mighty friend is.


Grimlock: “Mighty friend is me Grimlock.”


Daniel: “Don’t overdo it, okay?”

Kid, that is him not overdoing.

(I don’t see what was so bad about it, either)


Grimlock: “Me Grimlock not overdo.”

See?

(Also, I think they just repeated the same frame of animation because this is a different shot to the one above, but they look exactly alike. I say it’s fair, though)

Dude Red says that he brings word from yonder castle that the Red Wizard requests their presence. It sounds good to Grimlock who starts to leave but Daniel has his doubts about the whole thing.


Daniel: “I don’t know. My mom says to never go off with strangers.”

Grimlock responds with this gem of a line.


Grimlock: “Everybody here’s stranger. Us not go with stranger, us not go.”

Well, he's not really wrong on that. I don’t think the old chestnut holds up when you’re stranded in a fantasy land where the trees have recently tried to throw you in the stocks. There’s not exactly a clear sign to the nearest police station or phonebooth, is there? Might as well go with the first magical dude that shows up to help you.


Daniel yields before Grimlock’s version of logic but says that stranger-danger-in-red could at least tell them who this Red Wizard is.


Cryptic the Cloaked: “Be assured you shall hear the entire story.”


Daniel: Oh good.


Reddie: My apologizes, young, Daniel, I meant when we reach the castle.


Daniel: *sigh* Okay, but you’ve only got yourself to blame.


Redinald: For what?


Grimlock: Are we there yet?


Redley: No, but I assure you, it is only a little furt-


Grimlock: How about now?


Redby: No, we-


Grimlock: This is taking too long! Use magic!
Redka: Would you just-!

 

Madman’s Paradise (III)

Spoiler: Madman's Paradise: "Thief Warrior Gladiator King"

We find ourselves within the castle which has clearly seen better days.


Well, this looks like the home of a fine and upstanding member of the magical community.

Seriously, look at that fireplace: it looks like that thing got brute forced hard enough into the wall to get permanently imbedded judging by those cracks all over the wall.

I don't think that's a hearth decoration that has ever been owned in a cartoon by anyone that wasn't a villain or cursed.


Oh, would you look at that: creepy woodman-robots. That's not a red flag at all.

(What are they even eating? The big thing on the table looks like raw meat with green grapes and look at the size of that chandelier!)

Anyway, I should probably let mister totally-not-a-villain get on with that story he promised us.


Totally-not-a-villain: “Long ago, the Red Wizard fell through the sky through a strange red circle.”

(Look, I’ll stop with the nicknames when the rude jerk introduces himself)


Daniel: “Hmm, that’s how we got here!”

Huh, I couldn't help but notice that Reddie here looks a whole lot less brown, has visible hair, different nose, different eyes.

Different everything, basically.

Magic, I guess.


Red-red: “Of course, he was not really a wizard then. Merely a dabbler.”


Flashback time.


“He was taught his craft by the former rule of Menonia.”


“The Golden One.”

Looking remarkable done with everyone’s shit, I see.


“Indeed, he was the master’s favorite pupil.”

Wait, is he standing outside the window? Is he hovering in the air or is there just a window in the hallway looking into the study? I’m guessing the former, but I love the latter too much to discount it (even if it is clearly the same laboratory that we saw previously)


Ah.


That explains why his face looks stuck in a perpetual loop of exasperation.


“Always impressing the Golden One with some remarkable new skill.”

I take it back. He's not the fantasy version of Soundwave: he's the fantasy version of Starscream.


“But one day, tragedy struck.”


The Golden One: Alright, I had it with your shit. Get in the cave.

I guess he's the fantasy version of Optimus Prime.

Our red-clad narrator unsurprisingly doesn't let his audience in on this part of his story but I can aptly sum it up in four words.


Zap


Blast


Rock


Laugh

Okay, we don't hear him laugh but nothing can convince me that he didn't actually do that at the time.


“The Golden One vanished mysteriously.”

See, this is why you should always tell someone where you're going when you're planning to take your obviously evil apprentice out into the woods and shove him in a cave.

(By the way, we never actually learn why the Golden One brought his apprentice here so, it really does look like he was trying to beat Red to the punch and imprison him first.)


“There was only one thing the Red Wizard could do.”

(He actually had a sparkle in his eyes, guys)


“Rule Menonia in the Golden One’s place.”

I foresee this going well.


“The wizard brought centuries of prosperity and peace to our land.”

Yup, that's about as well as I thought it would go.


“Yet some were jealous of his power.”


“And so, the attacks began.”

Man, the episode's not even over and Disney's already bought it.


“Malcontents of all Menonia’s races joined forces to cease the throne for themselves!”


“You mighty Grimlock could help the Red Wizard to preserve the kingdom and protect his people.”

Grimlock’s a bit put on the spot but he’s always up for a good rumble no matter the place so of course, he says he’ll stomp those guys, no problem.


Evilbeard is, as you might expect, clearly pleased by this declaration.


He notices that young Daniel seems to be sleeping and orders his servants to take him away to a place where he can rest comfortably.


Yeah, he’s sending him to the dungeons.

(By the way, I have no idea if he drugged Daniel’s food or if Daniel just fell asleep. We don’t get a scene that indicates one or the other. Daniel’s just asleep when we come back from the flashback. It has been quite a long and eventful night for him or maybe he found the story so incredible boring. I can’t rule that out, either. Villainbeard was also drinking what appeared to be fine so maybe Daniel's just a lightweight *shrug*)

We do a flippin’ of the badges and then we’re back above to Cybertron where Steeljaw has found a shred of Grimlock’s apron.


I told you it was plot relevant.

(For some reason, Steeljaw’s the tracker but Ramhorn’s at the front and the one to pick up the strip of cloth)

Blaster tells Rewind to tell what they’ve got. I guess Eject was completely useless then because according to the Wikipedia, he’s the blue one so he would have been the one we saw earlier as a part of the chase yet now Blaster is consulting Rewind on what they’ve found.

(This seems to have been a coloring error: it’s likely it was supposed to have been Rewind in the parlor with the others and he was just colored blue by accident)

Rewind tells us some stuff about the place, but the most important scraps of information is that its last known usage is unknown and that it is pre-Autobot. I think pre-Cybertronian would have been a better term to use but the show did always prefer to separate everything into factions. Remember, guys, Autobot science is different from Decepticon science!


Ramhorn yanks the entrance opens with his horn and down they go.


Wheee!

Ultra Magnus tells Blaster to call Perceptor and have him meet them below and then we flip right back to Menonia.


Where Daniel is getting placed surprisingly gently into a cell by the woodbots.

Now I can’t help but imagine that the Red Wizard programmed them that way because he has a habit of getting so flat-faced drunk that he needs to get carried to bed and got tired of them just chugging him into it every other night.

Anyway, Daniel wakes up soon after and that’s it for him for now.


Up on the barricades, the Red Wizard informs Grimlock that even now their enemies plan their next attack and that they will never cease. Never surrender. Until they rule Menonia or until they are destroyed.

Grimlock is a bit mixed up, wondering why, if the wizard is so strong, does he need Grimlock. The Red Wizard admits that it’s a reasonable question and explains why in his usual calm and cryptic manner.


Red Wizard: “Because his enemies are many like insects they swarm-“


Red Wizard: “-and attack and attack and attack and attack!”


Red Wizard: “-with raw force, primitive magic-“


Red Wizard: “Driven by hate, by envy-“


Red Wizard: “THEY WILL NOT STOP!”


Grimlock: “Uh, me Grimlock just wanted to know.”

Yeah, I’d be backing out of that conversation too, buddy.

The Red Wizard calms down a bit.

Red Wizard: “The attack will begin when the golden sun is-“




Grimlock: “They starting early.”


Red Wizard: They lied to me!

I’m guessing they heard him talking shit and weren’t pleased.

 

Madman's Paradise (IV)

Spoiler: Madman's Paradise: "Thief Warrior Gladiator King"

The apprentice (The Red Wizard) says that he must go and assist the Red Wizard. He tells Grimlock to fight with all of is might for Menonia's sake - for Daniel's sake.


And then he scampers off with comical footsteps.


Grimlock: “Not worry. Me Grimlock protect Daniel.”

We do the old back and forth with the badges and no, it doesn’t cut to Daniel in his cell, which would have been just perfect.


No, it cuts to these guys who have found the teleportation chamber. Ultra Magnus asks if Rewind can decipher any of the ancient script and Blaster tells him that he’s on the case in his database.


He says it while looking mightily annoyed, I might add.

Rewind gets ejected and proceeds to tell us that this place was used to dispose of Quintesson criminals. Carley asks how and Rewind says that basically, they chucked them into other dimensions. His words, by the way.


Yeah, that’s right. The Quintessons built a slide down to their banishment chamber.

At least the convicted got one last laugh before getting tossed through time and space.

Although, this seems rather… merciful for the Quintessons considering we saw their love of mock trials in the movie. Or maybe this banishment deal only applies to their fellow Quintessons and everybody else gets the Sharkticon sentence. That make sense.


Prompted by Carley, Rewind goes through a couple of them. He mentions names but I’m not gonna bother to try to spell them so I’m just going to tell you the destinations: one got sent to an ice world and one got sent to a place with no physical substance.

Carley asks where Daniel is, and Rewind just happens to know that it’s Menonia.


How he knows that we are not privileged enough to be told and remember, Grimlock blew the dust off, at least, an entire wall so he couldn’t have guessed it that way. We’re literally never told nor shown how the heck he got to this conclusion.

(It's something that could have been easily fixed by having Grimlock only blow dusts off the Menonia panel or have him slightly dent it with his tail or something)

Rewind says that Mara-Al-Utha got dumped there for practicing sorcery. Apparently, the Quintessons got a no-magic rule. Who knew?

Ultra Magnus says that then that’s where they’re going as well and presses the panel which does its thing. He tells Perceptor-


Who has donned blackface which is so not cool!

- to stay behind because they'll need him to bring them back.


Perceptor: “Assuming the procedure can be reversed back.”


Way to tell them that after they've already started to sink into the interdimensional hole, you jerk.

Back in Menonia, Daniel is just chilling on his strawbed when he’s someone rasping for help.


Not gonna bother to try to escape on your own, huh? Alright then.

He looks up and to his left where he sees- oh, you gotta be kidding me.


He never noticed the old man shackled to a wall in his cell?

What, was he waiting for him to say something first? You know, to break the tension?

Well, at least Daniel not noticing the Red Wizard's tentacle turning into a hand makes sense. He never notices anything, apparently!

The man pleads for water, even invoking the Golden One as he does. Daniel might not be smart enough to look around nor perceptive enough to see the bleeding obvious but he is a decent enough lad at fetching water so he gets his fellow prisoner a cup from the jug nearby.


Pictured here: dumb boy fetching water.

Also, talk about a dick move by the Red Wizard. He chained the guy to the wall and then left a jug of water in his field of vision, seemingly just to torment this poor man.

Prompted by Daniel taking notice of him using the Golden One's name, the old man says that it is the dragon of the sun, enemy of the evil red wizard.


Dun dun dun!


Daniel: “The Red Wizard is evil?”

No, Daniel, I’m sure he just locked you up here because he was out of spare rooms, you dolt.

Carley's genes really skipped a generation there, didn't they?

The old man feels the need to ask Daniel the obvious.


Old man: “What would you call the one who imprisoned us both here?”


Daniel: Well gee, when you put it that way.

His first company in who knows how long and it’s Daniel. Poor old man.

Actually, what's really happening is that Daniel's startled by the old guy's appearance because it's the same as the Red Wizard's "apprentice". Old man explains that the man Daniel saw was the Red Wizard. He can assume many shapes.


Old man: “Mine has always amused him because as his fellow pupil of the Golden One, I was his staunchest foe.”


A rumbling causes debris to fall from the ceiling, interrupting their conversation, and Daniel asks what's going up there.


Old man: “The warriors, as ever they attack, as ever they will fail.”

He says that without the Master to lead them, it is futile. Pulling out a knife, Daniel asks the old man if he were free, could he find- Wait, hang on. A knife?


Daniel, you moron! You mean to tell me, you had a knife on you this whole time and you never thought to use it to try to escape? Heck, looking at the bars from here, I'm pretty sure you could slip through them if you tried sideways! You never thought to get out and try to warn Grimlock that there's something sinister going? You went for a rest instead?!

Your dad wasn't even this useless. Heck, he was downright useful on at least one occasion and he never even got to carry a weapon despite being a bystander trapped in an intergalactic war. What the heck is your excuse?

Well, Daniel decides to finally show some initiative and cuts the old man free from his binds.

Yeah, good job, buddy.

The old man explains that finding the master is simple enough but free him is another matter.

Meanwhile, above and outside, the battle wages.​

Catapults soars through the sky.


Sorcerers fires an never-ending onslaught of magical bolts from their hands.


Eaglemen pours down vats of chemicals from above, raining it down upon the woodmen below.


Who explodes and melts beneath the fire's fury.

It's all very good... in concept. Yeah, there's a bit of a problem with this big badass battle: the animation's chunky at best and by that, I mean it swings between being good and being wonky and that doesn't gel at all with the fight which is an absolutely shame because it would have clearly been rad.


Grimlock: “Red Wizard, where are you?

(Grimlock gets a boulder to the head here but I didn't manage to capture it)


Grimlock: “Wizzy!”


Red Wizard: “The Wizard is coming, Grimlock. Oh yes. Yes.”

He slowly turns a glowing red and casts a spell out of the window (his modus operandi by now)


It blows catapult to smithereens.


Grimlock: “About time. This more like it.”


A robot with a rocket launcher is so not what any of these guys signed up for when they joined the magical revolution.

One of the sorcerers fires a stray bolt which conveniently hits the bars on one of the dungeon windows.


Well, perhaps it's not that convenient.


Daniel: “We gotta get out of here!”


As they may or may not be getting buried alive while we fade to black, this is as good a time as any to point out a problem I have with the story: it’s not as intuitive as it seems to think that it is. Remember the flashback that I showed you? The Red Wizards is telling lies while we – the audience – are being shown his deception. The thing is that we’re not shown the thing with the apprentice and that begs some questions.

I had to go over this a couple of times before I got it right.


At first, I thought the Red Wizard was impersonating the other pupil and ruining his relationship to the Golden One because well, he’s got that that whole shapeshifting thing going on and the pupil never appears in any of the flashbacks. Then I thought that he might have already imprisoned the other pupil but that implies that the Golden One never noticed that his pupil had just gone missing and was sitting in his dungeons. Then I realized that it was entirely possible that the other pupil was still running about the place but just not appearing in any of the flashbacks. You see what I mean?

It took me several tries before I reached the conclusion that the episode seems to have wanted me to just know with from the get-go and I wouldn’t have gotten it if I hadn’t had to think about this episode further than what I did during my initial watching.

Now, it is entirely possible that I just did not get this and everybody else did. I’m not ruling that out. Sometimes things like that happens where we just miss the obvious for some reason. If so, feel free to tell me.

(I can always appreciate an episode that doesn’t feel like it needs to state the obvious to the audience and this episode actually does a semi-good job on that, so I do want to give it props. Like, it mostly doesn’t feel the need to tell you things that it has already shown you or which it believes you can infer for yourself)

Anyway, back to Prison Break.


Old Man and Daniel escape through a hole in the wall along and since other prisoners are going out the same way, I can only conclude that the ceiling collapsed or something and the cells were broken as a result. He and Daniel go off to find the Golden One.

No, don't try to get Grimlock's attention or anything.

(Yeah, okay, it's probably too dangerous to wander onto the battlefield so you get this one, show)


Oh, and Grimlock is deflecting rocks with his sword.

Well, a sword. I'm not sure it's his sword; I seem to call that it looked different.


Well, we're in the endgame now, folks, as the stories start to converge wit the rescue team arriving in Menonia just in time to get mixed up in all the local trouble.


Carley: “It’s a battle!”


Carley: And that’s Grimlock, isn’t it? Defending the castle!”

Heck yeah, he is!

And no bad animation is going to stop him!

(That looks less like a sword and more like a rapier. It's long enough to have been forged for him but it's so thin)


Blaster: “Then our man Dan oughta be in the neighborhood.”

Ultra Magnus tells them to move but to be careful.


Well, I’m guessing Blaster’s not wrong. They gotta be somewhere in the near vicinity because I can’t imagine the old man can walk very far in his condition.

I did imagine that Daniel would be able to walk further than him, however.


He's an old man who was imprisoned for who knows how many years and seemingly denied all but the bare minimum of food and water needed to prolong his suffering!

How are you weaker than him?

You even slept and ate recently so you even got that on him.

Primus, you're useless!

 

Somewhere, Sparkplug must be shaking his head in disappointment that his grandson turned out so fucking useless. I mean Sparkplug helped build the Dinobots and helped rebuild Omega Supreme in the Aerialbot's debut. And that's just off the top of my head. Daniel... ugh.