Post some Chuck Norris jokes you've heard. I'm obssessed with these, so it's just to find ones I haven't heard. I'll start. Chuck Norris uses Tabasco for eye drops. When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
Godzilla challenged King Kong to an arm wrestling contest...Chuck Norris won. When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris. Beneath Chuck Norris' beard is another fist.
When children go to bed, they wear Superman pajamas. When Superman goes to bed, he wears Chuck Norris Pajamas. Oh, did you know Mr. T isn't actually black? Turns out the sun is afraid to shine on him.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident and still managed to walk it off. Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built himself.
When Chuck norris goes to bed he doesn't check his closet for the boogeyman , the boogeyman check's his closet for Chuck Norris
There is no such thing as a lesbian, only women who haven't met Chuck Norris. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris jokes became stale when Family Guy referenced them. In fact I think they probably were old before that even. By the way, if you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
I have 4 favorite ones. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
