Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Pudglor Shmormuff, May 2, 2018.
A dog as an usher at a wedding would be pretty awesome.
My uncle trained his chocolate lab to bring the ring. :3
small wedding because I know I can afford everything that I want
The first time I heard someone say something like that was from an Asian couple. They went in expecting to "make money" from cash gifts to cover their wedding expenses. This particular couple spent about $15k and made $20k. Apparently, many Asians get married and hope to make money off the wedding. I had never heard of that line of thinking until they told me, and it's quite prevalent among many Asian families.
I don't remember what we made out with gifts when my wife and I got married, but it was definitely not as much as what we put into it, and we didn't expect as much.
But you have to understand the "Circle of Life" when it comes to gifts. You have to give back when the people who gave money's kids get married or their baby's 1yr party etc. That's at the bare minimum for us anyway.
Some people I know keep journals. It's all kind of a wash at the end. You kinda hope you're not invited to anymore weddings or baby parties.
So there is no real "making money" unless you're a dick cheapskate.
I mean the price I paid was what it was. Getting married in a decent NYC venue isn't cheap and we just wanted to have fun. Not stress about every line item on the bill.
Would I outright recommend it? No
But would I recommend keeping your partner in life happy and not haggle over wedding stuff to give her what she wants....HELL TO THE YES!!!
I say small wedding. Keep it simple and intimate instead of big and flashy.
That is odd. I'm Asian and I never expected to make anything on a wedding like that. But then again, my wife and I simply eloped. We both hate ceremonies and think weddings are a giant waste of time and money.
We just filled out the paperwork at the Japanese city hall (we got hitched in Japan; no ceremony at all) along with documents for both the American side (for me) and Brazilian side (for her). We'd rather that our money went to having fun together over time than devote to one giant overly expensive event anyway.
Eventually my family did throw a fancy dinner together for us at a restaurant when we visited New York to see my folks but even that wasn't big at all.
I would want an enchanted forest look! Outdoors as the sun goes down... very foresty. LIGHTS! Vertical hanging lights, string lights, candles, etc. Flowers hanging from above! Petals across tables! Moss and tree decor! Gourmet food and champagne! A live band (Frank Sinatra music is a must for me). Aaannd someone I want to spend the rest of my life with! LOL
The decorations are the easy part!
Interesting topic. We had an extra-medium wedding. Church, reception at a nice lodge with catering, a pre-event dinner for special family and wedding party that was catered by my bro-in laws restaurant. Not small but not exactly a big blast either.
And yeah, several years later, there are some gifts that wound up collecting dust, while others, like the crock-pot, totally changed our lives!!!! (Self anointed crock pot master here)
No wedding just marry on the spot type shit weddings are useless
My best friend’s sister decided on a medium size wedding... at some Florida beach resort, far from home in Texas. Their logic was that it’d thin out the guest list to just the most important people who do care enough to make a long, expensive trip for them.
I guess that’s also something to consider, the location. It can thin the herd or allow everybody to have a chance to make it.
If you in the US better hope your in a state that doesn't recognize common law marriage. Else wise Johnny law would consider you married for all legal intents and purposes.
We actually eloped after high school graduation (we dated all through high school... so yes... married my high school sweetheart and been together almost twenty years now) and moved into an apartment together while I put her through college. After she graduated we decided... mostly because we were being pestered by family to have a "real wedding"... to go ahead and have a wedding. That said; we still went small. Which pissed off family memebers, but damned if I cared. We had about 60ish people... siblings, close relatives and best friends. We also came out as Atheists to both of our families when we explained why didn't want to get married in a Church and why we went with a nice hotel down in Key West that specialized. This alienated my step-father (who is a Pentecostal minister) and that whole step side of the family (to this day they claim we aren't really married). But honestly I didn't care, because it wasn't about any of them. My uncle, who owns an Italian restaurant in the Bronx flew in to cater, one of my best friends DJ'd for me, we wrote our own vows, my wife's aunt did the cake (she owns her own cake/pastry shop) and the desert spread, and my best friend (also my head groomsman) gave one of the most heartbreaking speaches I've ever received and did one of those comedic life videos. We asked that gifts be kept small or not to worry about them, but... my wife's stepfather wrote us a check that would pay off my wife's student loans so we could start our marriage with zero debt. At the end of the day everything turned out great and we got what we wanted... not what others thought we should have.
I am in the US but fortunately for me I never am with a woman long enough for common law to take affect. Plus I am very, very choosy about allowing someone to move in with me. It's a step that I don't jump into lightly.
Right now I don't want to be tied down like that. Moving in together changes a relationship and you can find yourself stuck with someone you'd rather not be stuck with. I need breaks and buffers from people.
My wedding is in October and it isn't a big wedding, it's all taking place in Buffalo, NY (where I am originally from, almost all my family is still there), downtown, at a bar and grill where they host weddings. It's beautiful inside, we get the top floor with a balcony and fireplace, huge bar, hell yeah.
Anyway, we have invited about 60 people, we wanted to keep it mostly family, with only a select few friends going. I personally don't give a crap who gets offended, it's OUR wedding, and, if those people want to pay for their own plates and whatnot, sure, come along, but, since they wont be doing that and would expect their meal to be paid, they can stay home and sulk, if they wish.
Whether you have a big wedding or a small one, people are going to be offended. People always find something to be offended about these days. Who cares? That's their problem, not yours. You can't please everyone, and, I sure as hell ain't going out of my way to do so.
We got married at a small wedding on the beach, in a beach town. The most we spent was on wine and catered food.
Word to the wise, if you get married on a beach, in a town that is reasonably warm, expect tourists to take your picture, random onlookers, and homeless people. After about ten minutes we threw open the buffet line because so many of them came. At the time it was kind of strange, but looking back we wouldn't have had it any other way. We were happy and got to share that with a bunch of random people. To this day, there are people we don't know in our wedding pictures. But everyone is smiling, and there was joy. So ours was small, that became big, and had lots of laughs.
It is baffling why so many people think they automatically have rights to what they want your wedding to be. Seriously, go get married yourself and do it the way you want it. This ain't your special day. Buncha busybodies and control freaks.
We got married in the parents front yard. His Parents, Brother, and my Mum on the phone. We were happy. People will have butt-hurt regardless. Do what you want but keep in mind: 30K on a wedding.....or 30K on a down payment for a house....?
Go with house.
I dont even want to get married when im older. I dont think you need a ring and event and whatnot to prove to someone you love them
Despite the odds of my ever getting married starting at zero and decreasing from there, I've thought about the actual event, and the idea of some interfering, self-centered busybody trying to tell me and my (hypothetical) wife what our day is going to be like, or to try and use social pressure to control us, pisses me right the hell off. I'm talking, "you don't like how we're doing it, go to hell and you're dead to us" kind of mad. Big or small, it's about the bride and groom, not the spectators. The tail doesn't get to wag the dog.
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