Any Americans ever been to Australia?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Bryan, Mar 30, 2009.

  1. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    Things to do in Australia:

    1. Talk loudly and slowly to the Australians so they can understand you. Use exaggerated gestures as well.
    2. Make sure everyone within earshot knows you are an American. Wearing at least three or four items of clothing with American Flags on them will help, too.
    3. Complain about the drought, and ask people if it is hot and/or dry enough for them.
    4. Australians love America and are self-depreciating. Refer to their cultural icons as vastly inferior to the American analog.
    5. Visit the Ned Kelly Museum. Insinuate that he was a raging homosexual.
    6. Compliment attractive women by telling them you want to "waltz with their matilda", and then wave a fistful of American currency at them. They will appreciate the flattery.
     
  2. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    I felt like a total prick in Japan. When I went to Hiroshima, I threw on a t-shirt not even thinking about the fact that it had an American flag on it. Not huge or anything, but still...I felt like an ass and basically walked around the museum with my arms crossed to cover it up.
     
  3. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    You absolutely need to pack/bring/wear at least one Dale Jr. NASCAR shirt. Make sure it's loud, colorful and obnoxious.
     
  4. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Yeah, except I'm a Kyle Busch fan! And nobody spreads false information about me being a Dale Jr. fan and gets away with it...got that?
     
  5. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    *Storms out of message board for the VERY LAST TIME*
     
  6. Cheetatron

    Cheetatron Drat, outsmarted by a Lorry, I am disgraced

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    facepalm

    what a bunch of dicks lol
     
  7. Caterwaul

    Caterwaul Busou Shinki Loremaster

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    I'd like to visit Australia one day, but I'm scared of their wildlife. Sharks. Crocs. Blue ringes Octopi, more poisonous snakes then you can count, killer spiders, scorpions, bunyips, drop bears. No wonder they're all thieves down there, they need it for life insurance and anti-venom.
     
  8. PopCulturePooka

    PopCulturePooka Longest running avatar

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    Rofl at Bunyips and Drop Bears.

    Rofl.
     
  9. NoenGaruth

    NoenGaruth Not liking ze dizzy...

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    Oh yeah, we have them all over the place down here. One minute you're just walking down the street then BAM! Drop bear falls on your head and you're a goner.....*sigh* we lose so many tourists that way...
     
  10. MegaPrime33

    MegaPrime33 Follow me @NerdActivist

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    Whatever you do, DO NOT make any sort of negative remarks about Paul Hogan. The man is a national treasure.
     
  11. llamatron

    llamatron OFFICIAL MMC REP TFW2005 Supporter

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    :lol  This, a million times over.

    Basically don't be a typical American tourist (loud, obnoxious, patronizing).

    Biggest difference is probably the tipping. We don't really tip. It's starting to come in a bit for some bars, but even then it's just like a communal tip jar on the counter.
     
  12. Spoon

    Spoon Banned

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    I remember, last year during WYD, I was sitting at the bus stop to go to Macquarie shopping centre. This American walks up to me and asks, talking as slowly as he could and pointing in every possible direction an asks:

    "Excuse....ME. Does this... bus go... to... the... MAAAAAAAAUUUUULL?"

    To which I replied,

    "No, but it does go to the shopping centre,"

    And then I hopped onto the bus, confident in the knowledge I had just been a dick to an annoying stranger.
     
  13. PopCulturePooka

    PopCulturePooka Longest running avatar

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    And that sir, is the true Australian spirit these days!
     
  14. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Only whenever you introduce me to anyone. And around your wifey. And in front of your students and co-workers when I surprise you at work without your permission. :D 
     
  15. johnny46

    johnny46 Member

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    stay out of the lake if you don't wanna get eaten by crocodiles
     
  16. chapsy

    chapsy Well-Known Member

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    fucking win.
     
  17. llamatron

    llamatron OFFICIAL MMC REP TFW2005 Supporter

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    oh god it's going to be just like a sitcom