Things to do in Australia: 1. Talk loudly and slowly to the Australians so they can understand you. Use exaggerated gestures as well. 2. Make sure everyone within earshot knows you are an American. Wearing at least three or four items of clothing with American Flags on them will help, too. 3. Complain about the drought, and ask people if it is hot and/or dry enough for them. 4. Australians love America and are self-depreciating. Refer to their cultural icons as vastly inferior to the American analog. 5. Visit the Ned Kelly Museum. Insinuate that he was a raging homosexual. 6. Compliment attractive women by telling them you want to "waltz with their matilda", and then wave a fistful of American currency at them. They will appreciate the flattery.