No, but we need you. See, squeezing the sweater puppies is also good for our health. It lowers blood pressure (except in one part of the body). It also reduces stress. So, any single ladies, between the age of 18-41 are welcome for my services. Now what do you think you'll pay for my Breast Health Service? $199.99? No. $99.99? No. $49.99? No. As a special limited time offer*, I'll offer my Breast Health Service for free. YES FREE! This is a limited time offer*, so, ladies, phone lines are open, but appointments are filling up fast. What better Christmas present that you can get for yourself than your health? * Offer good till I find a steady girlfriend.
I couldn't think of a good retort without sounding horribly perverted. Possibly the greatest single use of that emoticon ever.