I'm very open about my hobbies online with like-minded individuals, but I am deep in the back of the proverbial closet about my collecting in-person. I feel like people would judge me. Some have in past.

I've found myself in a toy store with a parent assuming I work there asking me questions about Transformers a few times. I've lied, pretended to be an employee, and answered their questions. I've also lied about buying toys for a nephew I don't have.

Anyone else in the same boat? Are you open about being nerdy? If so, with whom do you share and to what degree?

 

I have no shame, I'm 42 and don't have time to give a flip. When I got dragon megatron, I showed him off to my coworkers.

 

This is my life and if collecting transforming robots make me happy, I'm doing it regardless of the opinions of strangers.

 

It's your money, spend it how you want. Why be ashamed of what you like?

I was approached by a woman looking for help about Hot Wheels cars once, trying to find Redline cars for her grandson to run on his tracks, and this was in the middle of a grocery store. I didn't pretend to be a store employee, she just saw me digging through the bin (was looking for some cool ones), but I still helped her choose ones that would perform well on tracks.

Honestly, I don't see the need to lie - if anything, a collector would be something people in that position would want because you would know more about the toys than a store employee who wouldn't really know the difference between a GI JOE figure and a MOTU figure.

 

Not shameful at all. As long as you don't hurt others you shouldn't give fuck al what others think. I mean, I collect toys...but I also a guy who collect heels, and dresses, and wears them. If you think people are gonna judge you on your hobbies, remember that there are others who do things that piss even more people off LOL!

That being said like anything be responsible. Don't put yourself into financial difficulty because collecting has put you there.

 

No

 

I don't think there's anything inherently shameful about enjoying toys, nor do I think there's anything per se juvenile about a toy as an object. If anything, disavowing the things one enjoys out of a desire to seem "very grown-up" strikes me as more juvenile. It would only really become an issue if the hobby started to absorb too much of one's thoughts, emotions, finances, etc. But, as long as you're managing your priorities well, there's nothing wrong with having some fun.

 

The only part I'm remotely ashamed about is supporting the oil industry by buying more plastic than I strictly need.

 

No. I mean... I don't always tell everyone what I like right out of the gate. Usually it takes a bit of getting to know me before I'll go "yeah, I collect toy robots and put them on a shelf" but I'm not necessarily ashamed of my hobby, I just think that there's no sense over-sharing with someone until I reach a point where I'm comfortable being more personal and not just talking about surface level stuff. But that goes beyond just Transformers and is about any hobby I engage in (of which I have a staggeringly broad and eclectic/weird range of interests, every one of which is likely to put off somebody.). Like I don't even talk about all the things I like or am knowledgeable about/interested in on here unless it comes up in conversation or I feel like I've settled into a nice rapport with the other posters in the conversation.

but none of that entails any degree of shame. As other posters have said: like what you like. As long as the hobby isn't causing any negative impact on you (like spending beyond your means or devoting all your time to it to the exclusion of anyone else who is important in your life) then what you do with your time and money needs no one's approval except yours. And if anyone can't understand that buying some harmless toy robots makes you happy then that's on them.

As was also sort of noted above, judging people for their hobbies or feeling the need to appear "mature" by distancing one's self from things people view as childish is the real mark of immaturity. That famous CS Lewis quote about "when I grew up I put away childish things" that often gets trotted out as a symbol of the need to cast off immature-seeming hobbies and interests is actually the exact opposite. Because the real quote was in fact part of a lengthy deconstruction of the idea of maturity:

You do you. And if anyone has a problem with that then they can shove it.

 

Why? Why hide? Why lie?  Those who judge are just green! Green with envy!

 

Or just total pieces of shit. Lots of total pieces of shit out there.

 

I've collected toys/made models pretty much my whole life.
I've also led/continue to lead a life that could be accurately described as "wine, women and song", all outside of my parent's non existent basement.
I'm not socially awkward, I'm married (to a member of the opposite sex, extra "normal")...I have a good (traditionally "mannish") job and I have good hygiene.
Ive met plenty of guys around my age (40s-50s) that are the same- got bitten by Star Wars, He Man or Transformers etc and never gave it up.

From what I can tell, it's cool to be "nerdy" now anyway.

 

when going out to buy transformers, I wear dark sunglasses, a mask (shout-out to covid), and a hat/hoodie. I buy about half a shopping cart of random things I don't need and then hide my toys in the mix.

 

Almost all my friends (including the ones I made at work) are nerds so they'll never judge me for being a collector. If anything they tease me for not having bought the Lego UCS Millennium Falcon...
I don't tell everyone I meet for the first time that I collect action figures but I don't hide my hobbies (my profile picture on Whatsapp, visible to everyone included my bosses is a picture of Bahamut from Dungeons and Dragons) and I don't think they are shameful in any way. Having said that, sooner or later we are bound to meet people who will consider us childish for buying expensive plastic toys, but we have to learn to not care about them.

 

The most loudest of those condemning us are usually the same erstwhile "marginalized" parts of society. I go by live and let live but there was indeed an incident around 1998 iirc when an ex colleague of mine (from that part that claims to be marginalized  )was for all intents and purposes insulting my "hobby". It's like there are more "mature" pastimes to indulge with........Riiiiiiiiight , not sure if he's still alive as of present..........given how very "careful" he is with his social life . Point is, he was the last person I would have expected to go on a condemning spree on me 

So, aside from my immature pastimes, I also raised 3 kids, a daughter, now ex banking stiff (who turned me into a 2x Maria grandpa ), 1 WellsFargo banking Stiff and the youngest( who recently graduated a Psychologist major) but still unemployed 

So yup, to preserve what little sanity I have left in the healthcare sector, toy collection is indeed a helpful tool aside from my sweet and dearest (just don't tell her about this   )

 

no

 

"Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

C.S. Lewis

No, because I'm an adult and it's one of the few things that does make me happy (most of the time).

 

Shame is social concept. It’s exclusively personal. An emotional thing. All in YOUR mind.

If you personally feel shame for being a collector your worried about what other people think of you. If you feel the need to belong to a social group that shames collectors you have a Choice to make between the 2. You choose…
Example. If you’re worrisome about what people think about your appearance or what type of car you drive. Regardless… shamer… or shamee… it’s all in your mind. The rest of the world goes right doing it’s thing regardless…

 

What is shameful is not being true with yourself.

 

It seems I've got some real food for thought here. Thanks, everyone.