TMI

 

agreed

 

Don't worry, it was in a good way..

 

Don't be that guy. No one likes that guy.

 

No dramas chief. Was a joke to make Barry spit his cornflakes out at breakfast time tomorrow morning but not meant to read anything other than what an idiot would say to another idiot. Like most of my mates talk to each other, puerile and immature I know but fancied being a fuckwit for a change.

 

Got bored, did a thing. The Omega Jazz sk8ing off to do rad ninja-spy shit with the nunchaku he borrowed from Animated Jazz.


Bonus: I somehow caught the moment he fell off the skateboard and the railing he was balanced on. (He's fine, don't worry. No damage done to any parts or paint.)

 

Heroes prefer swords.

 

For me, Boabie, it's TLI. PM me? Don't spare any detail.

As much as I’ve embraced the opportunity to write about Beast Wars, it was always going to be a challenge for me. Writing about a handful of characters in T:30? No bother at all. I can write about Rhinox ’til the rhionos come home. When we get into double figures, as far as characters go, I struggle to write meaningfully over a sustained period. Mea culpa!

The thing is, not everyone can be a star. Even when you have the sort of smart decision making that allows you to have a far more focused cast than your G1 fiction ever really allowed (both the cartoon and the comics suffered), it still leaves you with a character or two who don’t really contribute much to the story, and are just the muscle that you have in fight scenes. In G1 you get Skywarp. In BW you get Scorponok.

And this is where my struggle comes in. When you’re a kid, as I once was, you see someone like Skywarp maybe delivering one line every 30 issues. And if the line is cool enough, you love him! Because he’s mean and tough and menacing! Insubstantial? Don’t mean a thing to a seven year old, buddy!

So with this massive, almost defensive preamble, I feel like I don’t want to dismiss Scorponok, because I just know someone loves him in the way I love Skywarp, but I can’t pretend he means much to me. You just can’t weave that sort of spell on a man in his 30’s (which I was when I first watched Beast Wars all thr way through).

So, with all that said, howabout that toy?

Well, now you’re talking!

As a toy, I think Scorponok may be my favourite of Megatron’s lackeys. I’m a sucker for a well-proportioned figure and, if you discount the massive claws, Scorponok is beautifully proportioned. Even his pecs look right. He instantly cuts a very intimidating presence

He’s not without his quirks. Has he really got his mouth open? I mean, it gives him a certain aggressive air, but it does look weird. the cyclops visor makes me happy enough to ignore that. I’m not usually a fan of those weird Beast Wars battlemasks, but Scorponok’s is one of the few that actually adds something more than it detracts.

I love his big mitts. I really do. But I hate the gimmicks. The cyberbee drone will always make me murmer ‘wtf’. I mean, why does a scorpion have a bee? Is there some ancient proverb I’m oblivous to? It can’t just be they both sting, can it? That’s crap!

The thing I don’t like about the drone is that it leaves one of his hands incomplete. Frustratingly so if the mechanism breaks and the cyberbee won’t look in, like what happened with mine. I really don’t like a gimmick that detracts from the overall integrity of the figure. As much as I loved the toys, I had the same problems with the Headmasters.

The scorpion mode looks like death personified, with those red eyes popping ominously from that black head, and I love it. I’m not usually a fan of a head that splits down the middle, but this one really works. In its own quiet way, the way that head suddenly appears out of the bot mode feet is one of my favourite things about this toy. It’s just so stealthy! And I adore the way the bot mode toes form the fangs (I think you’ll find they’re called chelicerae).

But enough about the head, howabout the rest? As a whole the scoprion works very, very well. The massive claws are suitably menacing, as is the very weel articulated tail, with it’s fancy action feature. I wnat to like the legs more, but they’re kind of insubstantial. And you know, I was brought up with the ‘walking’ legs of yer G1 Scorponok. I know that’s too much for the budget of a figure this size, but even just some sort of wheel on the bottom to make the scorpion more moveable would be an improvement.

The first thing that struck me about Kingdom Scorponok was what a stout little fellow. He manages to stand roughly a head above ER Cliffjumper and a head below ER Wheeljack. I’ve seen the dedicated and faithful BW fans say that’s about right, but man, the fucker feels short! His proportions even support this thing of him being short and stocky, with his big barrel chest, oversized mitts and tiny wee legs. Taken into consideration alongside his chin I couldn’t help but find myself thinking about Pop-eye.

The good news is that he’s a very characterful little short-arse. The head sculpt is excellent. The heavy brow and that pronounced jawline do a lot of the heavy lifting, but that helmet, with his Scorpion fangs and that cyclopean eye sure ain’t slacking. It’s one of the most unique headsculpts I can remember seeing and I’m impressed with how well they pulled this off. The big shoulderpads give him all the ’80’s glamour that one might desire, and the arm articulation is fantastic. I have a love/hate relationship with those hands/claws. They look brilliant. They look stupid. Almost too stupid. He looks like a child wearing his Dad’s big purple boxing gloves. Which is wonderful/embarrassing. The claws have got great articulation, though occasionally the accessories seem to get in the way of the claws closing well. The Cyber Bee is hilarious. It’s a little plastic bee with a butt plug that fits inside his claw. What more could one possibly hope for?

I want to say I hated the transformation, but I think it’s just the wiggleing around I had to do to get the one leg to click into the tail. I did find myself locking the original version’s scorpion head in and musing on how nice, simple and reliable that was. Am I sounding like an old crank? Like, the guy who just wants things to go back to the way they were. Or Is it actually perfectly reasonable that I get annoyed when I’ve got to do some extra squeezing and wiggling to get something to (not even) tab in? Let me know. That said, the I do admire the clever design of the legs. Even if it doesn’t quite work as well as it should.

Scorponok’s scorpion mode is a weird one. Like, people have been frustrated when the Kingdom Beasties have erred more on beast modes more accurate to real life, than screen accurate. But if there was any ‘bot I would have tried to either make a little more toy or real life accurate, it would be Scorponok. I think it’s just that face. That weird, melted looking scorpion face that I always hated. Just to get a bit more of that scowl from the toy would have made me happier. The legs are the point where I feel like they ran out of time and budget. They’re almost articulated but not quite. So instead of something poseable, you have something that seems to awkwardly point off in a bunch of directions. Everything else is really good. Which I guess means the tail and claws? The little ball-jointed stinger is fantastic and I’ve already talked about the claws.

I’ve really enjoyed this guy, in both modes. He and Airazor have certainly been the most fun of the BW Deluxes. Sometimes all you want is a fun little guy that you can pose in lots of little high dramz poses. Nice work, wee man!

 

I'm starting to see the benefits of series with smaller rosters!

Loving WFC Trilogy and SS '86 soooooo much but really needing new shelves. I had to remove about 7 figures to actually fit everyone in this shot and I want to be able to have those figures on display with everyone. Anyone have any shelf suggestions? I may end up just making a separate shelf for Season 3 bots but I'd like to have a full display of all the entire G1 gang when WFC and SS '86 wraps up. It's also possible I'm shite at displaying my figures and could fit everyone in with proper posing and positioning, don't know if there's a guide for that but I'd also be interested in suggestions to that regard.

 

Rocky

All I wanna do us go the distance.

 

Generations Selects Super Megatron (Glowing wings not included):

 

"Then we shall duel."
From TF:UK#578 'Beasts of Prey'

 

Hmmm, you might want to stop letting your chicken drink too much caffeine Bobby.

....  

 

The Breakfast Club

 

An attempt to make a gun mode for megs

 

Who is really going to be the hardest toy to find this Holiday?