Hating JeremyJahns is like drowning 1000 kittens.

 

After cleaning the litter boxes last night, I might be down for that.

 

Chris Stuckmann?

 

I'm more of a dog person. There have been stories of someone dying of a heart attack or stroke in their apartment, and the dog sits and cries and waits days starving, for the person to come back to life or someone to come find the body. There are similar stories with cats, where they don't even wait a full day before they start eating the dead body. Fuck cats. And fuck that beard guy.

lol yeah, that's the guy.

 

If you hate the way YouTubers review movies, why don't you do your own review videos the way you want movies to be reviewed? That's how I did it since no one was reviewing Godzilla movies in the style I wanted to see.

 

I thought it was pretty blah overall. Not because of the acting, fight sequences, or even shaky-cam but because the narrative was very convoluted in the third act.

Spoiler

Essentially, Snake-Eyes is a villain through the first two acts, but then he heel turns and decides to be a force for good. This is okay, but the fact that everyone just openly accepts and supports him despite his 2 acts' worth of treachery makes no sense. In the very least, it does help to make Storm Shadow a sympathetic character in that his one act of departure from "the Arashikage way" causes him to be displaced as its heir. But sure, Snake-Eyes gets a total pass for single-handedly enabling Kenta & crew from annihilating the bulk of the clan with the magic gem. This makes no sense.
I liked Akiko as a character initially, who had good instincts regarding Snake-Eyes' deus ex machina saving of Storm Shadow. But then they went and made her fall in love with Snake-Eyes (or something like that) out of the blue and eschew any previous character development. It was dumb.

I suspect that they'll set up Kim Arashikage as the currently unknown daughter of Kenta and potential heir to the Arashikage.

And I'm certainly no Puritan, but the Baroness' f-bomb seemed a little out of place and primarily for "Oh no, she di'n't!" effect.
C-
B- if the film had been interrupted and never finished after the second act.

 

So another swing and a miss it seems…

Spoiler

I guess Snake Eyes doesn’t get scarred and loose his voice?

 

Just got back from seeing it. This movie was total shit, I thought it was suppose to do for G.I. Joe what Bumblebee did for Transformers. Not one bit. This was a bad 80's ninja movie with a big budget. The franchise is fucked.

 

Spoiler: Snake Eyes

He doesn’t even wear his costume until the final 30 seconds of the movie. The trailer showing him on the motorcycle is literally the last shot of the movie.

 

Its out already?

 

Literally only wanted to watch it for that

 

I'm thinking The Suicide Sqaud will be the last movie to try to redeem this summer comic book movie unless Shang Chi counts as summer release. MK sucks, BW sucks, this sounds like it sucks.

 

I think so. Thread title says it's "in the works".

 

This film was not as bad as MK. If that's any consolation.

 

Just got back, and I don't know man ... I wanted to like it, but it was kinda meh. It wasn't a train wreck, but doesn't have a lot of replay value to me.

Not a lot of people in the theater either, I don't see how this gets a sequel.

Did this just kill GI Joe franchise? Target and Walmart aren't going to want to carry product that doesn't have steady media behind it?

 

Looks like one of the scenes in the trailer is a post movie scene! What on earth?

Many people upset saying--

Spoiler

They are saying snake eyes is the real bad buy and storm shadow is the hero! Snakes eyes is a unlikable jerk who messes storm shadow up more then once when storm shadow tries to help him! Some reviews even called this a bad guy origin story! Heard he only changes sides out of revenge and really does not count as "turning good!" When people see the hero as the bad guy and the bad guy as the hero you failed!

Dang. I'll wait for the red box rental i guess but that sounds awful.

 

The world needs less of those people, not more.

 

I'm surprised Hasbro even allowed that to happen. You would think with Hasbro's acquisition of Entertainment One, that they would have more of a say on the film's production. It makes me nervous about the upcoming Transformers movie, especially with Lorenzo di Bonaventura's continued involvement.

My theater was pretty empty too. Deadline is predicting a 12.5 million dollar opening weekend, which is absolutely awful for this kind of movie. I don't see the word of mouth being any good for this either. This might be it for G.I Joe as far as theatrical movies go. That's 3 movies now that have either massively underperformed or outright flopped.

Source:
‘Old’ Takes In $1.5M, ‘Snake Eyes’ Rolls $1.4M In Thursday Previews: Box Office – Deadline

 

I guess GI Joe is just one of those series that's never meant to be a successful film franchise and the sad thing is this might be the death knell for the brand.

 

What I dont get is how Bay made 4 godawful films and still made bank.

Are people just more cautious with money now or what?