And they fight Optimus Crime .

 

What a ride. I was laughing the entire time I was reading that lmao

 

TRANSFORMERS: SANDS OF TIME

-Set 5 years after TLK, Unicron's horns stopped growing for no reason and everything went back to normal. Humans and autobots live happy on Earth, the planet surprisingly wasn't affected by Cybertron being their moon even though they should all be dead by then, instead the humans are taking trips to Cybretron, it's a profitable business. Megatron is back, with a new body to sell new toys, this time more G1. Optimus also gets a new body, this time he looks more like The Man with No Name. Quintessa appears in the grand canyon where she finds the ancient sword of omens, a ancient sword that controls the sands of time and can time travel blah blah blah, Optimus and autobots have to stop her. She reveals she stopped Unicron from rising and plot twist, she is actually a good guy (actually girl you sex#st piece of shit) because females cannot be villains, it's not ok. So, they have to stop Megatron from using the sword to time travel and change the FUTURE. Big fights all over the world, oh also Cade is not back, instead we get a new character named Klancy, why? Because fuck you that's why, nothing matters. Also, Bumblebee cannot speak again, shareholders can be happy. Anyway, Optimus has to find the ANCIENT GUN OF PRIMES AND BECOME THE LEGENDARY PRIME GUNSLINGER. He fights Megatron and kills him and sacrifices his life Endgame style. After that everyone looks at the sunset with his last message. Also, male protag and female protag make out on Bumblebee. The end. (?)

 

Dear God. - The Horror.

 

Bumblebee now has a pair of dongs hanging under his scrotum for a poorly-timed joke.

Optimus only appears for 3 minutes.

Izzy gets sexualised every 5 minutes.

Hot Rod learned the lubricating trick Bee used in TF1 and now uses it on Cade everytime he can.

Drift changes his alt-mode again because why not.

Megatron is still somebody's bitch. Oh he died in the last film? Who gives a fuck man.

Barricade is gone, again.

 

Crosshairs and Bee get into a fight and smack each other in the scrotum.

Vivian is doing a nude photoshoot for Cade to spice up their relationship, but her same friends from TLK walk in during the middle of it. One of the friends screams at the sight and falls out a nearby window into a backyard full of dogs humping. A million jokes are made about this for the rest of the film.

Strongarm is introduced in the film. All what Cade does is make jokes about Strongarm having “robot boobs”

Drift just explodes for no reason. No one even shoots at him. He legit just blows up. The Autobots don’t even acknowledge that he died.

Sam’s mom is back. Apparently, she is the only one who can stop Unicron. Cade and Vivian are practically useless, but they are in most of the film anyway. Izzy also appears for a bikini shot, but is later never seen again.

Megatron and the Decepticons are back, but halfway through the film, they just.... disappear. For no reason at all. Almost as if the filmmakers themselves forgot about them. The Autobots don’t seem to notice and occupy themselves with fighting Unicron.

When the film ends, angry fans demand a Transformers 7 titled “Transformers: Decepticons Rising” as we didn’t get to see what happened to the Decepticons. They want it to apparently “finish off” the Bayverse despite the previous film being a box office failure, and there already being a massive reboot and rebranding happening with the franchise.

 

So outlandish that I can picture it actually happening.

Don't forget making the obvious joke about her name being a hand-job innuendo. 

 

Bumblebee gets a reboot movie set in the 80s and featuring a G1-inspired Cybertron scene

 

*breathes in*

Spoiler: EXHALES BAY MOVIE

Optimus finds robot Advil in his glove box. He takes it and becomes evil again. Bumblebee tries talking to him in his real voice, but Optimus doesn’t care and instead chops him to pieces with his BattleBlades(TM). Darksyde Optimus then becomes toy colors and wears Bumblebee’s face. Darksyde prime fights a new Decepticon team and wins. Megatron surrenders, but Optimus kills him again.


DotM Que, now known as Quetal, and the other Cuban refugee Autobots appear before the main Autobot cast and explain the procephy of the Titanmaster. The Titanmaster is the true leader of all transformers, and has a long history with earth. Hot Rod doesn’t care too much for this “Titanmaster” until he is the only one able to pull King Aurthur’s sword out of the Allspark. (They did some filler quest stuff in the meantime. The sword somehow is in a perfectly intact Allspark.) Crosshairs and Drift exhibit dull surprise and then both make one-liners. Sentinel’s force ghost says, “arise Rodimus Prime!” Hot Rod says, “okay boomer,” completing his transformation into Rodimus. Cade and Izabella show up on baby Dinobots and warn the Autobots that Unicron is coming to life. Rodimus curses. The Cuban Autobots reveal that they built a space ship that will locate Unicron. Surprisingly, the GPS points down. Everyone is shocked. Cade and Izabella are sent off to tell the US government that the planet is Unicron.


Cyclonus arrives at the US military base with Lug Nut and they explain that Cade and Izabella are the actual Unicron supporters. They are thrown in prison, and the Decepticons in their prison cells are freed to be in the trustworthy custody of Cyclonus and Lugnut. Cyclonus and his Swoops fly to Optimus’s shuttle in space, where Optimus is focusing an invisible beam of energy on all of Unicron’s horns. He explains that the Energon Grid will keep earth safe from attack from evil transformers. Lug Nut explains that everyone on the ship is an evil transformer, and in turn Optimus rips out his internal mechanisms and Spartan kicks him into space. Optimus explains that for the first time he is seeing clearly; Unicron and his children must be protected from the Cybertron Ian’s who would see to pass their war on to their posterity. Cyclonus asks what he’s referring to, and Optimus gives an exposition about all animals actually being Maximals and Predacons. Cyclonus is shocked and orders that Unicron be destroyed. He tells his troops to fire on the evil one, and they kill Cyclonus in confusion. Sentinel Prime’s force ghost appears before Optimus and simply says, “wrong.” Optimus shoots angrily at the non-corporeal being, but he simply disappears.


The Cuban Autobot ship arrives at the Darksyde and Rodimus gets out. He and the Autobots fight in space and in the shuttle against the Swoops. Rodimus finally arrives at Optimus’s location and demands he hand him the Matrix. Optimus holds it out and crushes it. Rodimus says it is the only thing that can stop Unicron, something Optimus was already aware of. Lots of G1 movie quotes are dispensed as the two fight to the death. Rodimus drives King Arthur’s sword through Optimus’s face and throws him into space.


The Autobots then merge the two ships together into a Planet Destroying Fortress. Hound splits in two, revealing himself to be Skids and Mudflap. Skids and Mudflap explain that they are Unicron and that despite Optimus’s failure to defeat the chosen one, Unicron still will awaken soon. The Autobots fight Skids and Mudflap, but they simply are too powerful, easily slaughtering Crosshairs, Drift, the Cuban Autobots, and the baby Dinobots. Rodimus eventually kills them with Excalibur, but they turn into radio static as their heads float away. Rodimus attempts to put the Matrix back together, but it is no use. He needs a combination of the Matrix, the Allspark, the Tallisman, and Excalibur. (He figured out by guessing.) Rodimus sends out a beacon to all living Autobots to hunt for these artifacts.


Volleybot reveals that he is still alive. Volleybot transforms into Impala mode and launches himself to earth. Meanwhile, Rodimus wonders how he will get to the core of Earth in time. (Volleybot dies on impact with some concrete.) Just then, Sentinel’s force ghost appears and tells Rodimus the tragedy of the pillars. Rodimus finds some extra pillars and bridges himself to earth. (Insert some short clips showing the new Autobots finding the Allspark right where Rodimus left it and the Talisman right where Cade left it.) The new Autobots arrive at the meeting point and all combine their relics. Rodimus holds Excalibur, Stakeout holds the Tallisman, and Freeloader (an ex-Construction or something) holds the Allspark. Unfortunately, he is found unworthy. At that exact moment, Jolt arrives with the corpse of Bumblebee, besides the face necklace. Rodimus says something to the effect of, “just one moment,” and teleports back to the Planet Destroying Fortress, where Bumblebee’s head is at or near. Rodimus also brings the corpses of Drift and Crosshairs. Upon return, Bumblebee is revived by Jolt. Jolt says he can only save one of the two others, but then very obviously just merges them into “Springer.” Bumblebee holds the Allspark up and the magic square thing works this time. The artifacts all combine into a big sword, a big shield, and a big gun. Jolt is offered one but says he doesn’t need it. Bumblebee takes the sword and shield and Rodimus gets the gun, but then the Autobots decide that is dumb and instead divide them up differently. Rodimus gets the sword, Stakeout gets the shield, and Bumblebee gets the other Armada reference. Freeloader asks if anyone has a gun, a Springer gives him like six or seven. The Autobots all teleport to the Planet Destroying Fortress and then teleport into the heart of Unicron.


Quintessa, Darksyde Optimus, and Skidsways are all waiting there. There is an actually kinda decent fight, resulting in lots of one-liners, robot dismemberment, and magic weapon use. Darksyde Optimus realizes that he’s been tricked into being evil (again) and throws Quintessa in front of one of Unicron’s blasts. (He’s been firing random bolts of energy around during the fight.) Optimus becomes G1 colors and is just handed all the weapons. Optimus says that he has to fix this and runs into the core.


In the core, Skids and Mudflap exist in their natural shapes. (A combined robot made out of both of their heads, but upscaled a lot, and two animalistic versions of their RotF robot modes mixed with Infernocus extras) These creatures attack Optimus Prime, easily outnumbering him, although he is still killing some of them. Jolt teleports into the core and gives Optimus his energy, causing him to slowly fade away. As Jolt fades away, he puts Skidsways in a headlock and snaps his neck. Optimus defeats all the opponents and uses all the weapons to absorb Unicron’s power. All of that reality altering power initiates a psychedelic flashback sequence using footage from the past films.


In jail, the humans (in different prisons)notice the ground shaking under them. This earthquake isn’t the only side effect. All the electricity in the world is going out, meaning that the cells open since it is an action movie. The human companions put together a prison gang of Paramount-signed actors and past human companions. They take down the guards and escape. Conveniently there is a bus outside. They all get on. Cade gets on Last and tells the driver to head to Earth’s core. Sam Witwicky takes off his hoodie and nods. The bus then drives straight through a crack in the mantle. They get to the core, where Optimus is dead and the Autobots are desperately trying (and failing) to contain Unicron’s energy.


Rodimus notices the humans that he completely forgot about and says something about them being there but goes back to doing whatever he was doing. Unfortunately the bus is, in actuality, a disguised and badly damaged Megatron. (Using the DotM rig for cost purposes.) Megatron absorbs Unicron’s energy and becomes Galvatron or Megatronus or Megatron Unicronus or whatever. (He obviously will go unnamed.) The Fallen’s force ghost appears and says “Arrise, Galvatron!” (psych, you thought!) Galvatron fights Rodimus and is winning. The other Autobots are kinda just there. Jazz shows up without any explanation and gets a rematch. He loses again. (Rip.) The humans have manually de-combined the artifacts at this point. Sam slams the Allspark into Galvatron’s chest, killing him.


Galvatron’s energy starts crackling and destroying stuff, as now he can no longer contain it. (Since he’s dead.) Just then, Rodimus remembers what Sentinel “always said,” and activates the pillars, teleporting all of the living and dead occupants of the core into the Planet Destroying Fortress. Quetal, who wasn’t actually killed by Optimus as it turns out, but was instead just hiding, explains that they can use the pillars and Unicron’s energy to give the Earth an actual core. Incoherent sic-fi visuals happen. The Autobots then manually fix the rest of the Earth. No one in the theater or the movie is wondering about the Maximals and Predacons. No one. Just leave the theater. Everyone will just make it head-canon that Unicron waking up would wake them up and otherwise they are just animals. The End.

 

A new character, named Thundercock, reuses Dickbot the Blenderguy's cgi model and Shockwave's head, he was saddended by Shockwave's death, whom he admired for have a big cannon. However, the movie won't mention his motivation, but he'll have a lot personality.

 

I guess Unicron wouldn't be a bad guy

 

Legally explain how it's OK to fuck underage girls, show Devastators Nut-sack, promote racial stereotypes, ass n titties, oh and explosions.

Oh wait, he already did that.

No wonder people didn't like these movies. The first one was good and everything after was botched hard.

Thank God Michael Bay doesn't write scripts. I don't even want to imagine the universe where exists an even worse version.

Also y'all are great, keep these scripts coming. Already love them infinitely more.

 

"Write your movie sequel but the way someone else would do it."

I am confuse.

 

Bay and Lorenzo pretty much dictated what the writers wrote in his Transformers films, and I recall him having to scrap together what Orci, Kurtzman, and Kruger wrote for the "script" for ROTF, according to said writer's strike (yeah, I know there was a strike, yet how many times can that still be used as an excuse ???) If the strike didn't happen, I bet we'd still get the same stuff-especially with an interview Kruger gave where he blatantly stated that logic had no place in the TF movies. Anyway, how do I know these things? See for yourself  :
*Wait, How Many Transformers Stories Have Michael Bay And His Team Outlined?
*Exclusive: Transformers Writers Orci and Kurtzman - SuperHeroHype
*Michael Bay's multi-million-dollar brainstorming session: inside the Transformers writers' room (especially the 3rd paragraph, and further ones-especially the quote literally stating that it wasn't expected that the writer's room would result in a usable script);
* Related - https://collider.com/michael-bay-interview-transformers/- related: literally shows that Bay called it a stupid kid's toy and how he wondered why he needed to be educated on Transformers before making the films-11th paragraph, 31st paragraph;
*12 Directors Who Admitted They Ruined Their Own Movies - Interesting: he actually admits how fd up this movie is, yet we still got the same thing we got previously, for the next 3 films, with the 5th film pretty much almost pulling the plug; Also, while Tron LEGACY wasn't perfect, it's pretty disingenuous for bay to throw shade at it.

 

I think he means to write your story idea but make it more Bay like

 

He hates Tron Legacy???? I love that movie

 

He was making a subtle back-handed diss with that comment concerning the 3D thing where he talks about how Tron Legacy opened with a title saying that none of the 3D scenes were shot in 3D.

While I am a HUGE Tronophile (even drawing my own characters in Autodesk Sketchbook Pro and the like), and while Legacy is one of my favorite films, I could see some things that could have been done to improve it-but I won't go into detail here.

 

This is pretty cool but unfortunately makes too much sense in some parts so Bay wouldn't approve.

 

A subplot with Cade falling in love with Quintessa's human form
A new Autobot named CockBlock whose catchphrase is blow your cock off he would be voiced by Ryan Reynolds Bay's attempt to catch in on Deadpool
The movie would also tie into the bible as we found out that the holy grail is really the omega lock and Primus is the actual God of the whole Universe.
Big Daddy will replace Bumblebee as the kid-friendly bot after Bee is just gone for no reason not even mentioned in the movie at all.
Unicron is mentioned lots of times and shows up only at the end the fight is 24 secs and Unicron only has 2 lines that are hard to understand we also never find out his motive but we do see Optimus kill him by driving into his face.
Sideswipe is back as a cameo afterward he is killed off-screen by a new Decepticon named TerrorZone who is also killed off-screen by Squeeks