Burns n' Roasts

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Arkimus Prime, Nov 8, 2020.

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  1. Electro Rush, Nov 17, 2020
    #41
    Electro Rush

    Electro Rush Just a guy waiting for the perfect Whirl

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    This happened back in my college days while I was with a group of friends. One of my friends Carol had bought some new shoes that looked really old fashioned and my other friend Will sees them and remarks "Carol has Mary Poppins shoes!" and then busts out into a spot on rendition of the Penguin dance from the movie in front of everyone and we all laugh like crazy. It was so perfect that it couldnt have been the first time he's done it.
     
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  2. Rewind Eject, Nov 17, 2020
    #42
    Rewind Eject

    Rewind Eject Bluestreak 's #2 Fan

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    If stupidity could be converted to electricity, you would singlehandedly power the Eastern seaboard.
     
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  3. Belgrath, Nov 17, 2020
    #43
    Belgrath

    Belgrath Boom! Nutshot!

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    "Hey pops... if you think you're funny, then how come your jokes suck ass really bad? Actually scratch that... your dad jokes are even worse - ooooooooo COLD BURN!"
     
  4. Galvatross, Nov 26, 2020
    #44
    Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

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    Shrek-scuse me, but my Shrek puns are comedic genius. Shrek puns, Shrek puns, on this site. not having Shrek puns is not right! Anyone who doesn't think so is a giant puss...in boots. Like Lord Farquaad, and most people do think little of him.

    And the real reason some people dislike my Shrek puns is because they know their girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands/love interests are not beautiful princesses or Shrexy Man Boy Chauffeur Kyle. Instead, they're nothing but Swamp Donkeys.
     
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  5. Scarlet knight, Nov 26, 2020
    #45
    Scarlet knight

    Scarlet knight Emergency Food Connoisseur

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    hqdefault (1).jpg
     
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  6. Galvatross, Nov 26, 2020
    #46
    Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

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  7. Scarlet knight, Nov 26, 2020
    #47
    Scarlet knight

    Scarlet knight Emergency Food Connoisseur

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    GIF-201026_164358.gif
     
  8. Rapidfirestormer, Nov 26, 2020
    #48
    Rapidfirestormer

    Rapidfirestormer Not Even Remotely Dorky

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    This is more of me adding fuel to the fire than an actual burn, but I still feel like it's worth sharing.

    So I'm hanging out with some friends and other people, when one of my friends burns one of the other people. And they respond to it with "That was cold." So I chime in with this line:

    "If that was cold, then how did you just get burned?"
     
  9. G1Prowl, Nov 26, 2020
    #49
    G1Prowl

    G1Prowl Prick, apparently

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    The common factor in all your failed relationships is you.
     
  10. Drangleic, Nov 26, 2020
    #50
    Drangleic

    Drangleic Banned

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    100% me. I burn more bridges than General Sherman. I scorch earth my life on a yearly basis.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2020
  11. galvatran, Nov 26, 2020
    #51
    galvatran

    galvatran Galvatran lives!

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    Excuse meee...... I like Swamp Donkeys. The more scantily clad & scanky the better.
     
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  12. galvatran, Nov 26, 2020
    #52
    galvatran

    galvatran Galvatran lives!

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    So you take no portion of the blame? o_O 
     
  13. Galvatross, Nov 26, 2020
    #53
    Galvatross

    Galvatross Dom Dom, Yes Yes Veteran

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    LoL! Different strokes for different folks!
     
  14. G1Prowl, Nov 27, 2020
    #54
    G1Prowl

    G1Prowl Prick, apparently

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    If you think someone is an asshole, odds are they are an asshole. If you think everyone is an asshole, odds are YOU'RE the asshole.

    Definitely applies to relationships.
     
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  15. Purple Heart, Nov 27, 2020
    #55
    Purple Heart

    Purple Heart Some other time..

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    This rings true more then some people realize. I can’t stress that enough.
     
  16. sideswipe3, Nov 27, 2020
    #56
    sideswipe3

    sideswipe3 Well-Known Member

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    To be fair we all come from assholes.
    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Dark Skull, Nov 27, 2020
    #57
    Dark Skull

    Dark Skull Well-Known Enabler Moderator

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    So being an asshole is nothing more than a normal natural state for us human beings :D  Good to know!
     
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  18. Scarlet knight, Nov 27, 2020
    #58
    Scarlet knight

    Scarlet knight Emergency Food Connoisseur

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    I...did not need to know this.
     
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  19. Dark Skull, Nov 27, 2020
    #59
    Dark Skull

    Dark Skull Well-Known Enabler Moderator

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    I was gonna make some shotgun blast jokes...but I think I'll hold off on those...
     
  20. Hot head prime, Dec 1, 2020
    #60
    Hot head prime

    Hot head prime The death trooper who laughs

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    Your roasts are so pathetic, it makes the Kardashians Albert Einstein in comparison



    I have spoken
     
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