That's definitely stuff you need to let go of. We all have regrets... well most of us do. Stupid stuff I did long ago pops up into my head and I get that pang of regret or embarrassment of the stupid stuff I've said or done in the past. I try my best to brush it off, 20-30 years ago is a long long time ago and there is simply nothing that can be done about it but move on (hopefully having learned a lesson). Definitely don't beat yourself up about it. Try to play with your kid or do something that makes you happy and try to put those regrets away. It doesn't help you to keep dwelling on them. If you find that you just can't get out of the spiral, you may consider speaking with someone as that can be a sign of depression (which is not something to feel bad about, A LOT of folks are in the same place, many many more people than you would think). If it helps to talk about things here, please do. I know, as one gets older, it's harder and harder to make new friends locally. Our social circles tend to shrink as we get older (at least in my experience). Since we all just go to work, go home, maybe, if we're lucky, spend some time with family, and if we're luckier, also get to play with some TFs, lol, and then repeat the cycle. There's not a great deal of room or opportunity to find new friends. Maybe talking here on the forums with some like-minded folks may help.
Well...I'm not really one for words...but I like to think that the past doesn't really matter all that much as long as the present is great...
Might this have something to do with your present situation? I wallow sometimes on past mistakes, even though most of them are more awkward memories than anything, with only relatively few genuine mistakes. However I think it has more to do with feeling trapped in the present. When one feels helpless in the present the past comes creeping in. For most people I think wallowing on the past is a distraction to overcome and I try to direct my energy to something either more constructive or enjoyable. When things are more active and going one's way there is probably less time for wallowing in the past. There are certainly good advice in this thread. Overall, just try to enjoy things. Unless of course your past mistake is now sending ninjas after you or something. In that case I would definitely think about the past very intensively.
Well, I mean every decision I've made since I was 5, determined everything I am today. I think if I did just 1 thing differently in a certain situation my life wouldn't be this way. But, I know I made a lot of good choices too. Like, everyone time someone offered me cigs, weed, and alcohol I always turned it down. I was even offered crack once. Like, very happy I never touched any of that stuff. But, I have 2 masters, neither subjects which I have any interest in working in. I got married at some point, big mistake! I decided to get new hockey skates after 10 years, they were $300. 4 months later they are ripping my feet apart and leaving blisters. I have been in contact with the store I bought them from and bauer hockey, and they are like well shit out of luck. I researched which skate was best for my foot for months before buying. So, I am just so upset over this. And 15 years ago I broke up with a guy I dated for 2 years to "test him". I wanted to see if he'd try and work it out, but he said ok and blocked me.... and damn, i am kicking myself for that 1.
The thing about the past is that one can't undo anything, but if one could, it would undo everything for everyone from that point on...and the new alternative wouldn't be guaranteed to be better...or even as good. Time travel fiction tends to not show the full consequences very well. Everything had to happen the way it did or everything would be somewhat different for everyone. Any way it'd turn out, you'd probably either be regretting something else or you'd have ended up dead somehow. I think there are overall many things people blame on themselves that may be largely outside their control, especially in today's world. The job market is the big one for a lot of people. Sure, technically one can try, one can apply for and one can learn, but the actual problems themselves are huge and systemic in society. Someone will always be unemployed in the current system, and if they get a job, it's usually a job someone else now didn't get. If one has a job, it may be a necessary evil, though for some people quitting a specific job has improved their life. Personally I've never seen jobs as an inner passion, merely as a way to earn income, though I suppose for some it may be different. Addictive substances etc. are good to stay away from I guess. Not only bad for you, but expensive over time. I drink only when offered, for toasts and such and I've never smoked or done drugs. If you've grown up with a smoker in the family, you know what the morning sounds like. I was offered money to buy cigarettes once by some teen but I turned it down. Not that I care really if he smokes or not, but I have no part in his health problems. The skates: You're probably out of luck on that. Maybe try to sell them? About the break up: Either he didn't take the relationship seriously or he took you very seriously. Tests and tricks aren't good in relationships, but presumably you know this. People often have some blunder or other like this in their past. You'll just have to look forward and try new things I guess.
Everyone has regrets, but unless you have a time machine, sitting around and lamenting on regret is the biggest waste of time there is. What's done is done, you can't change it, don't waste another second on it.
And if you don't improve and don't learn? Like I have been applying for a new job for about a year now, I make the same mistake of saying too much after they have already told me I'd be a perfect fit, etc. I get excited and talk. And never hear back. . Every damn time.
If they actually meant you were a perfect fit they wouldn't reject you for talking too much in an interview. Unless the position is a mute Geisha or something like that. Everyone gets nervous in an interview, it's perfectly normal. They probably all meant you were a good fit, but someone else had better qualifications, inside connections or whatnot. Keep trying ... and my advice would be to make an improvement in either your job situation or marriage, or by all means both. The other things you have mentioned seems like small stuff in comparison.
Something happened as a result of me getting married. But, possibly would have happened anyway sometime in the future. Related to money.
It sounds like you regret something that was really out of your control, like an unfortunate side effect. The things I truly regret are situations where I have treated others badly, either on purpose or due to sheer ignorance. These are things I want to remember, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes. Anything else is best forgotten.
I use to regret a couple of things in my younger years. I was jealous of one friend. I hard time finding my place in life, and I didn't talk about my feelings a lot in my younger years. Looking back on them I have matured and learned from these experiences. The friend I was jealous of is the only person I ever been jealous of. I have never felt envy ever again. I am more open about my feelings only to people I care deeply about. In terms of my place in life, I am kinda picky person not snobbish just picky so I am careful so I don't befriend thugs or perverts. The reason I am not so regretful anymore I feel these actions have helped shape me to be a better person but I do still feel small reget for time wasted
Older you get, the more you regret lost opportunities and mistaken choices. Because time is ticking and it hurts
Maybe it's this. I didn't regret so much a few years ago, now I feel like...so much time is passed, and so much I could have done differently, and it's hard to think there is still time to be and do what I wanted. Before my daughter, I never regretted all my figures and comics. Now, I'm like damn, think of all the money I could have if I didn't buy all this stuff. Maybe, I'd have enough for a 2nd child. TBH, probably 90% of my regrets have to do with money and my past spending habits.
Heaven is where all the things that should have happened happen. But, we’re not there. We're here. -Lodge 49
