I'm glad you're taking the right steps in the right direction. But don't be too vindictive, if she wants out, let her go. Don't force her to pay mortgage since she isn't going to live in the house. You'll be getting roommates, so you'll get some money from them. Don't expect to come clean in this situtation fast, it will be tough going for some time. But as Squirrelcar said removal from the mortgage =/= removal from the deed. That is the most important issue here. And get new locks. Sorry, had to say that.
Well she crossed the line, TWICE in one day! First she comes to work and sees me talking to a coworker, flies off yelling and telling her that she can have me and all this crap, she goes to walk off and I tell her to grow up and get over it, then she turns and charges me and shoves me almost knocking me down! My department manager jumped in between us. She leaves and comes home to get some clothes. Here she rips up some pictures and obliterates a beautiful photo frame. Damn that pissed me off! Moral of the story is, she's getting her crap Friday and the locks will be changed summarily. I want this done and over with ASAFP!!! Maybe then she will realize the decisions she has made and come back............too bad for her that i'm tired of all this damn drama.
After the incident at work, I would def. second that statement. She has assaulted you. I'd make sure and keep that department manager as a witness in case it gets nasty later. Make an issue that she jeopardized you job. Good luck man. And... I wouldn't wait for her to get her shit to change the locks. It's your house now. She left. You have a right to protect your belongings. (check laws, but I think I'm right)
Yup, you're starting to see the crazy. And guess what? It gets worse. I'm thrilled you're changing the locks--you got a little taste today of what could happen if you don't. You're real on board with bringing the police there...but don't you think they have better things to do with their time?
I'm sure the police would rather be there to prevent anything from happening rather than be called to a domestic disturbance. My friend on the force here has done it a couple of times, saves paperwork Best of luck odd
Yeah she's coming today for her stuff. After all the damage she caused yesterday around the house, i'm nervous about her coming here, but she knows now that I have something big to use against her if she decides to be stupid and tries to damage other things. I don't want to use the whole "assault" thing against her, but don't think for a second that if it comes to it, that I won't. I have more than enough witnesses and plus i'd say they got it pretty good on camera too. PS:Anyone know how I can get a copy of my '06 W-2 form? I need it and I can't find it! HELP!!!
Call your employer. They'll be able to tell you--usually by putting you in touch with their accountant.
You can request a copy from your employer. Wal-mart probably has a payroll department or website that you can get it from. Give em a call. Best of luck Oddy, I really feel for you and wish you the best.
Well 85% of her crap is gone. And she left my house trashed! So I get to spend my weekend putting it back together. So much for hanging out with pals. Anyhoo things are starting to return to some level of normalcy I guess. She talks to me on the phone every once in a while, she sounds like she's regretting her decision. Sucks for her though. Cause i'm done. D-I-V-O-R-C-E give my freedom back to me!!
Well Oddo...personally I would forgive, but I would never forget...to be honest you've admitted in your past you didn't do your best to perform as a husband...then this most recent occurance was a bit of a fit of jealousy. I take it you don't have any love left for her, which is hard for me to imagine since you seemed to be so set on getting back together with her at first. Neither of you are perfect, but it's not like she ever really cheated on you with another guy. She never was unfaithful, slept, or made out with another guy did she? Maybe she did and I just missed it in a previous post. Maybe i'm just too forgiving, though she has done some really shitty things in this whole process. I don't know what to think, and I don't think I have a right to judge. To be honest, most of what she's done too almost seemed like was driven out of jealousy, anger of being accussed of cheating, and probably quite a bit of posturing. She probably wanted to hurt you for some way you've hurt her, even if you didn't mean to; though accussing your wife or ex-wife of cheating is pretty harmful. I dunno...I just wish you the best of luck... On a side note, I bought a Galvatron Spotlight and Movie Prequel #1 from you right? They were in immaculate condition, though the bag and board was a bit on the wimpy side.
Okay for starters, we are hearing all of this story from the perspective of one man. Though I do want to say that I respect this man, have had good dealings with him, and I certainly don't want to drag him through the mud. Please try to understand what i'm saying and look beyond the simple notions of "right and wrong". Look Gnaw, i'm not aware if you've been following through this whole thing from the beginnning...so let me borrow a quote from Oddobot from a previous thread so you can understand what exactly lead up to all this. For starters, I want to retract my statement about him being combative or accusing her of anything. However, it's obvious that he probably didn't react well to her dancing with another man after she had cheated on him a while back. I do have to say that his jealousy is a factor, as well as her guilt. Maybe she was looking for a way out of the relationship, or maybe she was upset which led to her making very poor choices. Okay, I have forgotten about the admitting to making out with another man part. I was unsure if that had happened or not. Though, that is cheating despite it's not nearly as bad as sleeping with another man. Back in this post, he still loved her and wanted to work through things. This post talks about a combination of things such as her guilt, his jealousy (despite being understandable), and his willingness to try to work through things. This post talks about how that in some ways he might have failed her as a husband in small ways, like not romancing her or making her feel special. It also reaffirms that he does have a jealous side, because her even dancing with another man was very upsetting to him. To be honest this seems like a story of man gets comfortable with marriage, woman feels like she's not valued, woman has shitty friends, woman makes poor choices when drunk, man is jealous, man is willing at first to try to see things through, woman makes even more poor choices, woman becomes jealous herself despite HER trying to end their relationship, and man almost seemingly like he doesn't fully see the wrong he had in the relationship too. Look maybe, in my heart of hearts, i'm too soft. She admits remourse in what she's done and she'll probably regret these events for the rest of her life. Though she wasn't the initial catalyst for all this. Oddo did some wrong with not treating his wife as well as she deserved, and she made an amazing shitty choice. She decided to have terrible friends, get drunk, and cheat on her husband. She has become increasingly aggressive, and she is very much in the wrong for a LOT of things she's done. I don't condone what she's done, or stick up for her. She's the one that is choosing to throw everything away because of her actions, when Oddo was willing to forgive her. Instead, things snowballed into the way the have become. She clearly showed signs of feeling for Oddo if she got jealous over him talking to a co-worker. I can't deny that perhaps she's a crazy, stressed out bitch, who has a lot of issues right now. I'm just saying there are two parties in this "The very wrong" and "The less wrong". Oddo isn't perfect, but he is being victimized by her actions. Also if you haven't noticed there has been a series of events that's gone on with Oddo. He went from being saddened but willing to forgive, then utterly heartbroken despite trying to patch things up, the she struck another blow, and ultimately through your guys pushing him on he's become downright playing the role of the victim in all this. Yes, he is being victimized but he isn't innocent. I'm not trying to tear the man down, but he admits that there were actions of his that led to all this. One of those actions was simply not treating his wife as well as she deserved. The other problem is his obvious jealousy, even if he has reason to be jealousy. For a marriage to work, there has to be trust. Jealousy is caused by a lack of trust, and it sends a message (even if he doesn't realize it) that he doesn't 100 percent trust his wife. He might have reason to be weary, due to how she hurt him in the past. However, if he wanted things to work he needed to completely trust her again. The Bible says turn the other cheek, and to give people a second chance. The other problems are partially cause, and the rest of it is just very very poor choices. His wife gets depressed and feels unvalued due to him not treating her special. Is a wife entitled to that treatment? No not technically, however, women want to know they are valued and loved. So in a state of being upset, she begins to make a series of very very poor choices. The first of which is the bad company of friends she gets around her. Ultimately, it leads to her getting drunk and in a vulnerable state she does something that she most likely would have never done with a sane mind. She made out with another guy, and thus cheated on Oddo. He forgives her, and yet she continues to make more poor choices. She keeps the same friends, and she does things that she knows will make Oddo jealous. Hurting him, even if unintentially because she didn't feel valued by him. Ultimately this all continues to where she says she's guilty, which may or may not be an excuse to escape. With the same friends that have continued to allow her to make poor choices lead to her trying to divorce. There's nothing that Oddo could really do at this point, and in essence she's made her bed. She'll have to lay with these choices she's made that have destroyed the life she had. Her destructive actions of aggression have been a combination of things. I think deep down she's really hurt, and messed up from everything. While Oddo is guilty for not being a perfect husband, she is far more guilty for all the terrible things she did. Instead of accepting her guilt, she redirects it and lashes out. She reacts jealously to Oddo talking to a co-worker, and we know in the past Oddo had jealousy problems himself. She decides to be combative and aggressive, which are very poor choices on her part. To make matters worse, she begins to destroy things that mean a lot to Oddo. Taking more steps to hurt him, and perhaps to destroy things that made her feel even more guilty for all that she's done. I have to say, yes I am happy that Oddo is being strong through out all of this. Fight on Oddo and don't let things get to you. Though i'm just saying that in retrospect, it takes two to tango and it takes more than two to ruin a marriage. I don't think it's wrong to forgive, and maybe he will be able to in time. However, he should never forget all the things that happened. He needs to change for the better through all of this. He needs to become a stronger man, and one that doesn't get jealous. I don't want Oddo to have his whole life ruined when it comes to women, and I just want him to grow. Part of this growing he needs to do is to not be jaded, and to not let jealousy control his heart. Things with his soon to be ex-wife are ruined, and it seems they have irreconcilable problems. Divorce, unfortunately, seems to be the best course of action despite how sad that is. To be honest, this takes a LOT for me to say this. The first girlfriend I ever had, or at least the first one I count as a real girlfriend, cheated on me. I put my heart and trust in her, only to be betrayed. I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out, though when I look back I know that I wasn't completely innocent either. If I had been a more attentive boyfriend, then she wouldn't have turned to another guy. When she started to turn to another guy, I found myself becoming terribly jealous despite I didn't have conclusive proof she was cheating on me. I know how it feels to have a jealous side, and I am still dealing with that today. However, I trust my current gf with all my heart and I try my best to give her what she needs/deserves. I just want Oddo to come out of this stronger, like I did after I was hurt and for him to have successful future relationships. I don't advocate what she did, or all the wrong. However, I don't think it's fair to skew things either. I'm just being honest about how I feel on all of this. Feel free to speak out against how I feel, because i'm honestly not using just cold hard facts. I use emotion in how I judge, and not just cold hard logic. I just want good things to come from this, and to help further Oddo's healing. Sometimes you have to break someone down, before they can be built back up. I just want to spell everything out and let the future be the judge. Though after all what do I know, i'm just 22 years old and have a lot more experiences ahead of me. Maybe i'll feel differently when i'm Oddo's age and in his shoes. "Don't try to be a great man, just try to be a man, and let history make it's own determination"
damn that was a long post............great thoughts and words though. Yeah guys, i'll live through this. I won't have $$ for squat here for a while, but i'll live.I hurt her in this marriage and she hurt me, so things are kind of in a sick way even. We're talking in a very civil way now, we even wished each other good night last night, something we hadn't done in a while. You can tell that there is still a lot of love between us. That'll never change, your first real love never goes away. Anyhoo I gotta get ready for work, i'll catch you guys this evening. ODDY
OS-1 - I'll admit I didn't read the entire post... but what are you doing to the poor guy? After weeks of going through a separation and his soon to be ex-wife moving out, he finally gets his spirits back up and moves on...and you suggest they reconcile? Come on! She crushed the poor guy...they can be friends at best, but anythng more is a huge mistake, ESPECIALLY not until the ink dries on the paperwork that needs to be filled out. oddobot - keep it up man. the tone of your posts sounds much better than it did at the beginning.
No way in hell id read all that lol... I dont think a forum like this is the best venue for discussing marital problems anyway... you open yourself up to the genuine and the crackpot alike.. and especially on so delicate an issue your bound to eventually wind someone up enough they snap and write a small thesis on the nature of ethical consideration of factors at hand which have lead dear Otto to this point. handle it anyway you got to Otto, in the end everything said here is moot your the only one who can decide what to do.... no matter how many people tell you CHANGE THE DAMN LOCKS ... she cant TRASH what she cant ACCESS lol....
For starters, you admit you didn't read my entire post and you still try to make me out as some kind of villian. >.> I'm not suggesting the reconcile, i'm just saying that he should keep up this fight. That it's okay to forgive her in his heart, but he should never forget. To not let her walk all over him, and to just become as strong as he can be. With things as they are, it wouldn't do any good for them to get back together. They are both hurt, and hurting still. There's nothing wrong with them talking in a civil way, and it'll help things go smoother. That's all i'm really saying is that he shouldn't take her back, even if she asked to come back. That it's okay to forgive her in his heart, but he needs to always remember what has happened.
