“In your haste to save the world, boy - take care you don't destroy it!” - Achilles, Assassin’s Creed III.
C-SPAN Host: "Boston you're on the air good morning we're doing open phones." Caller: "Hi am I on the air?" C-Span Host: "Yep!" Caller: "Fuck." C-Span Host: "Thanks."
This quote is oft attributed to ‘an old Londoner’ who lived through either the Blitz or the IRA bombing campaigns and was allegedly said in response to the July 7th bombings that derailed trains. “I’ve been blown up by a better class of bastard than this” I have no idea if it’s true, and if it is, who said it, but fuck me its a snappy bon mot.
"You know. People fantasize about doing something heroic in moments like these...but I don't think that's you!" Sarge from Marvels Agents Of Shield Season 6
Host: "Good morning, caller." Caller: "AAAAAAAARRRRGH" Flaccid Ego: "I'm starting off fresh, and feel good, uh huh, I look good, I smells good, uh huh, I am good. I'm better than that. uh huh, I'm calm, and this next call's gonna be wonderful, uh huh, I can just feel it. I'm calm." "Good evening!" Spoiler Caller: "Fucking genie." Flaccid Ego: "KISS MY ASS!" Barbecue: "<Unintelligible robotic noises>" *Takes off helmet* "Hey guys. Ah, you know it's funny, these people, they go to sleep, they think everything's fine, everything's good... They wake up the next day and they're on fire." -G.I. Joe Fenslerfim PSA 19: Fire Alarm
Harvey Pekar: "Maybe I better try not t' let my emotions run away with me. I gotta be realistic. I'm pretty far from havin' it made, but I ain't dead yet. I gotta take the days one at a time...make a plan an' try t' follow it out. I might be able to t' make it if I get my ass in gear. I'll check out the gover'mint gig scene an' think over where I stand with th' chicks I know. Maybe I'm overlooking someone. T'day's Thursday. Tomorra's Friday. Saturday I c'n sleep late." Narration: "Man looks wherever he can for hope." -American Splendor (Harvey Pekar's autobiographical comic)
*The Calypso twins are looking for a new radio guy* *two psychos are claiming that no one loves them more than they do and threaten each other* Tyreen: You know what? Yeah, go fight each other for the spot. *gun firing and gore sounds* Psycho: Aaaaaaaahhh!!! My rectum! Troy: I've never seen a dislocated a** before... Borderlands 3
From the show Big Mouth, as the smarmy lawyer's kid is attempting to solicit favors from a girl that is assuredly not interested: Hormonester "Looks like Dickarus is about to fly too close to the sun."
"Talk about throwing shade." "I am Shinnok's wrath!" "Shinnok is my bitch." Cassie Cage putting down grimdark scythelord without even firing a bullet
“It’s an American Bald Eagle!” “But aren’t they extinct?” “They are now...” Pugsley and Wednesday take archery class, “Addams Family Values”
It'd be really nice to have the post actually mention where the quote comes from. Quite a few posts involving anime or youtuber quotes leave it open, assuming that everyone reads/watches/whatever said thing.
Gawd, if I got a dollar every time I heard that line at a bar... It’s up there with “I have a firm grasp of figures”.
From the movie Vampire in Brooklyn: Maximilian (Eddie Murphy) after being shot: Interesting. I've been stabbed and I've been hanged. And have been burned. Even broken on the rack once but I've never been shot. (Touches bullet wounds as they slowly heal) Kinda itches a little. You have quite decent aim. But next time - (punches a hole in the shooter's chest and rips out his heart) - PUT A LITTLE HEART INTO IT!!!
Oops, my bad. Mine was fron borderlands 3. I just assumed that plenty of people would know, but just like TFS goku said.. TFS Goku: "it makes an ASS out of U and ME" *Dragon ball abridged: Super 13: When Goku was trying to figure wether Androids 14 and 15 were made by Red Ribbon Army or not. Even an abridged series can teach you life lessons.
Gwyneth Paltrow: This is the Sh(bleep)! Jontron: Don't curse, Gwyneth! *Train horn blares* Jontron: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" "Don't curse Gwyneth!" -From Jontron's video: "Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop"
GI Joe #142: (Scarlett is fighting in an alleyway with Zarana and Cobra Commander after dropping her cover as a Cobra spy.) Cobra Commander: “Shoot her, Zarana, you oligophrenic megapod!” Zarana: “Sure! You hold her, and I’ll shoot her!” Scarlett: “Why don’t you take a shot at me yourself, ragface?” *Scarlett punches Cobra Commander in the nose* Scarlett:“Here’s another one for you, bubble-gum brain!” *Scarlett hits Zarana with the back end of her sword* Cobra Commander: “Help! Call out the Alley Vipers!” *The Alley Vipers rush into the alleyway* Alley Vipers: “We await your orders, Cobra Commander!” Cobra Commander: “I want you to-” *Scarlett punches CC in the back of his head* Scarlett: “Gotta talk faster than that, chump, if you want to avoid another whole round of what you got before!” *Scarlett punches Zarana in the gut* Cobra Commander: “Alley Vipers, shoo-” Scarlett: “Did you say “shoo”? Do you want the nice Alley Vipers to go away?” Cobra Commander: “No, I want them to-” *Scarlett kicks CC’s head into the pavement* “-uungh!” Scarlett: “They can’t understand you! You’ve got a street in your mouth!” Zarana: “Shoot her, you idiots!” *The Alley Vipers gather in front of Scarlett and Zarana* Scarlett: “You trust their aim that much?” One of the Alley Vipers: “Who’s gonna aim? Zarana don’t sign my check...”
