I highly doubt that for a 40 year old like me.

 

I've been on Tinder for a month and I've only gotten one match, and it... wasn't really much of a match.

 

I have seen the exact same phenomenon with some relatives and acquaintances, where "seasoned" guys tend to hit a breaking point from the stress of life, and just lose any kind of drive or optimism, get angry at the world for being happy, etc.

A good piece of advice I heard some time ago is that everyone needs 3 things in life: something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.

 

If you're concerned about being ignored for football, solution number one would be to find a guy that doesn't like football. We're out there. We exist. I personally will NEVER ignore my gf for football (or any other sport or tv in general for that matter). I personally haven't heard of very many couples losing interest after 50 (at least not many that I know) and I'm almost 40 and I don't plan on giving up anytime soon.

 

Since I'm not sure what all I might say, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm twenty-six and feel like I'm stuck in the sort of drama and weird situations that should have ended with High School. Though I might also be blowing things out of proportion. Past attempts to open up on a personal level on forums like this haven't been the most pleasant experiences for me, so I can't help but feel aprehensive here...

I know that's not much to go off of, but... yeah...

 

Got a date back home Friday with the best girl ever. Well its the girl from way back when who had a boyfriend but now no longer has a boyfriend so ayyy

 

Ok, so, I think I'm starting to move on from my ex(never thought I'd say that) but stupid me? has fallen for someone who is interested in the other gender, that being said however, she's been with guys before, and who knows may go back(last girl actually beat her.....recently, in fact day after it happened she showed me a pic in messages on facebook) thing is though I just want to hold her, spend time with her and let her open up in front of me about anything(she's had a very bad year, ok, she has already opened up to me about stuff) actually same said girl that beat her also accused her of sleeping with me(i wish ^.^' ) so i'm a little confused at the moment, but who knows what the frellin future holds, i sure as hell don't.

 

Uhhhhhh!?!?!?! Have u heard of a train wreck before.

just do yourself the favor and walk, wait, RUN away! Find something normal and then proceed

 

Agreed +1. The benefit of realizing you deserve better than an emotional rollercoaster experience will be much better for you in the long run.

 

Ok so I've thrown myself back to the dating pool with help of dating sites. Still no luck so far but I am hopeful that I'll be able to meet a genuine person whom I can have many interests with and who'd be my best friend as well as lover. I am really not asking for much and I hope my lowered expectation will result in something wonderful.  

 

Oh I definitely need to lower my expectations because the problem with me is my expectations are always too high for me to get any girl. I want a beautiful girl who's about 5-10 years younger than me and who's shared my interests and is very considerate of me and my family. Now I am ok with women who's older than me and have children living with them, just as long we have chemistry and enjoy each other's company. If I don't do that I may stay single forever (not that it's a bad thing, but I miss companionship and intimacy)

 

You made a lot of good points. Unfortunately I am more of a visual kind of person, and attractiveness goes a long way in my book. Disclaimer: I am not looking for supermodels and such, but she definitely needs to be easy on the eyes and have a fit/slim body.

And knowing that I can be a bit shallow does bother me, and the only way I can convince myself to be more inclusive of other single women out there is to lower my expectations so I wouldn't swipe left on every girl I see except the really good looking ones.  

 

I guess drama wasn't the best choice when describing my situation. It's more the general situation that makes me feel like I'm deeling with stuff that should have ended years ago. Though really, it's all on my end of things...

I'll try and describe my situation as best I can. It's going to take a while to get it all down, so I'll dedicate a new post to that. Hopefully it'll make at least some sense to anyone who bothers to read it.

Not exactly that joke, but immature responses in-general. Though what tends to hurt worse is a lack of any kind of response.

 

This isn't going to be the easiest situation to esplain, but I'll give it my best. I guess I should start at the beginning, the summer of 2012...

Things are pretty normal in my life. Meaning that nothing special is going on. At this point I've been going to this church on-and-off for about ten years now. I have big social anxiety issues, so I stick to talking to the few peiple I know.

One week I happen to notice a girl, someone I've never seen at church before, or anywhere for that matter. I'm instantly intrigued by her. She has a very unique look that catches my attention. Being the socially awkward and overweight nerd I am, I do nothing to make first contact with her.

Weeks go by and my best friend, the guy who first brought me to this church, begins to talk about starting up a small group. Considering myself a social outcast and shut-in, I consider this an opportunity to try and open up a bit, maybe make some new friends. A week or two later I'm instantly sold on the idea when I find out that the intriguing girl is one of the people behind getting the group started. Let's call her Babs.

The group starts meeting, and there's roughley a dozen or so of us. Some are there every week we meet, some come and go. Like myself, Babs is there almost every week. The group eventually starts to have get togethers at locations outside the church. Most often at Babs's place.

As normal for any group situation, I don't talk a whole lot. That said, I do start to open up a bit. One particular instance was around a campfire late at night where I opened up about a fear that my quietness could be mistaken as me not carring. She comforts me in this moment, likely as a friend, but my attention-starved emotions can't help but take it to mean more.

At this point I'm in full-on crush mode. I can't stop thinking about her. I even take my TV over to her place several times so our group could watch movies (her TV was old enough that it couldn't be hooked up to a DVD player). Being the rather unexperienced person I was, and still am, I don't realy make any moves.

Then some shit goes down between her best friend and a friend of mine, makes having the whole group together impossible. What's worse, my stupid but chooses THIS time to makr my move. She rejets me and says that she's not looking to date anyone at the moment. Of course my nerd brain takes this to mean that I still have a chance.

A couple of weeks later another girl from the group kinda makes a move towards me. I'm still crushing on Babs, so I put her down as gently as I can. This second girl then almost immediately turns around and starts dating another friend of mine (they recently got married).

At this point my best friend, and leader of our group, tells us all that he's going to be going to China to teach English for a year. Not really an issue to start, but we'll get to that later. A week or two before he leaves, we all have a bonfire at his place. Later that night it's just us guys there, and we get i to one of the few disscussions we have about "matters of the heart". I claim that I'm letting go of my feelings for Babs, even though I know deep down that the words coming out of my mouth ar utter BS.

Then he leaves, and our group pretty much crumbles. We have a good couple of meetings, but with the drama from earlier in the year, and our leader missing, we can't seem to keep things going. I stay friends with Babs, but we don't talk all that much.

Fast-forward to spring/early summer of 2013, and guess what? My best friend and Babs are oficially dating. He's still in China, but they start off long-distance. At this point I had already been trying to force myself to move on, so this kinda puts the last nail in that coffin.

My best friend get's back from China, and they happily begin to date infront of me. Surprisingly enough I seem to handle things well enough. I even begin to start to consider talking to this other girl from the group. She's really nice, and share's my interest in writing. That said, she and an old friend of mine were the two that caused the drama back in 2012. I hesitate and never do make a move. Oh, and she's Babs's best friend.

Fast-forward to early this year. My best friend and Babs seem to be fine, but out of nowhere they break up. Both are pretty affected by it, and I attempt to make sure both are fine. I'm easily able to be there for my best friend, but I'm unsure of how to be there for her.

As time goes on, things stay weird between the two of them, and it's obvious they won't, or can't, be friends. I make a couple of feeble attempts to stay friends with her, but let's face it, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Now, my best friend has moved on, and has been dating a new girl for a month or two now. A girl he is very happy with. I'm continuing to try and be there for Babs, but I'm not really getting any kind of response back from her. Meanwhile my felings for her are coming back, and I have no idea what to do.

To put it simply, I have feelings for my best friend's ex-girlfiend, and while I don't know if I can just let go of them, I don't want to make things awkward for either one of them. Meanwhile I do sort of have some feelings for her best friend.

Just the kind of messed up situation that I have no idea how to deal with... and sorry for the really long post...