Ha, the husband knows what's the good stuff!

 

If a love interest wants you to give up your hobbies, then they aren't the "right one" for you! It's totally understandable for one to "cut down on spending", but to quit altogether or to have to sell one's collection would be going too far. I say find someone who loves you for you and who will accept you for you (and your hobbies too). Just my thoughts on the subject.

 

Cutting back on TF purchases I could understand, what with rent/mortgage and all, but if a hobby doesn't hurt anyone, then what's the harm in getting to keep a collection?

Like I usually say, a good person wouldn't make you feel bad about a harmless hobby.

 

A good person wouldn't make you feel bad about a harmless hobby.

 

Hobbies are healthy for a relationship. It helps to keep each person interesting and happy, which in turn makes the relationship happy.

What exactly does she want you to do with your free time?

I have a feeling she won't like the alternative. You just sitting around, doing nothing.

 

Depends on the scale of the collection.

1 or 2 classy glass stands with MPs in an office / lounge I think is reasonable.

1 or 2 rooms fulled with 1000s of plastic robots maybe not so much.

 

True...

 

Well, I would consider the toys a back-up income source. If you don't need it anymore or you are in need of cash, you can always sell it. So it's a loss overall if you don't bring it with you.

 

OK, I'll throw in on this with my experience. I've been in 3 relationships that went as far as living together and after those, I learned that if a woman shows any signs of disliking my hobbies, the relationship will never work. I've collected toys and guns for most of my life and almost every relationship I've had ended because the women said that I "needed to grow up". My land, my house, and my vehicles are paid for. I don't have credit cards and my only debts are hospital bills racking up due to my increasing health problems. I'm up front with women about my hobbies and most of them don't seem bothered by it at first, but I know they are. My last girlfriend was horrible about it after she moved in. She would spend $100 on her nails and hair and then bitch at me for buying a $20 Transformer. She would eat out on her lunch break and then get mad at me if I wanted something other than a can of soup for dinner, saying "I" was wasting all "OUR" money. Nothing made her happy, ever. It was like her life revolved around controlling my life. Well, I kicked her to the curb and she ended up with a friend of mine and I've been watching him go through the same thing. She does whatever she wants and then bitches when he does something similar. I'm not saying all women are like this. I have one close female friend who is into knives and guns and toys and I get along great with her. We've never had anything close to an argument in over 10 years. In the past we discussed a relationship, but just never connected that way. My point is, there are decent women out there who are willing to share your hobbies and not be a bitch about it, but you may have to go through a lot of whiny self absorbed bitches before you find a good woman. Bottom line, tell them to kick rocks if they have a problem with things you enjoy and move on to the next one.

 

My wife gets pretty agitated with my collecting although I have calmed the collecting down a lot over the past year or so. She has on more than one occasion said "Why can't you go back to collecting football [soccer] shirts?".

She has her hobbies and interests like going out with her friends on nights out as well as smoking. I just prefer to spend my available income on something a lot more worthwhile that I am going to see a return on rather than a few rounds of drinks on a Friday night as well as cigarettes throughout the week.

What your friends girlfriend is asking is rather unreasonable. If she cannot accept your friend for what he is interested in then she shouldn't have gotten in to a relationship with him in the first place.

I wish him well.

 

We'll this thread is pretty much over cuz what's been said is all there is to say. Asking someone to change is wrong in the first place. I've been married for 12 years and mode wife doesn't have a problem with my collection or me collecting. Like said before as long as the bills are paid and everyone in the house hold has what they NEED. Now the only time the collection bothers her is if it takes time away from her. If I'm messing with them or something and not providing an amount of time to spend with her then it's a problem. You have to remember your significant other is just that, they want to know that they are still your number one. Make sure it shows that she is more important than your toys. She doesn't care to hear about the newest MP or anything coming out so I don't burden her with that. Anyways she would never ask me to give them up cuz in turn she knows what they are for me. Like some, a hobby is healthy because it provides an escape for you to get away from the everyday hassles of life. Without an escape you will hit that mid life crisis and become miserable. Last but not least, my wife does all the girly stuff, nails, shows, clothes, I when I have some extra money, I make sure to not only think of myself, but maybe think of her and buy her a little something. Once again it shows that you think about her too!

 

actually the opposite for me, as long as they are away from everyday life (ie not in the lounge or office) my wife is fine with it. There's nothing in the rest of the house except a couple fridge magnet badges.

it really comes down to how they are displayed, nice cabinets, care given to the displays to look classy works much better with a woman than crammed in, can't can't see anything.

your example works for an mp only collector. but quite frankly, there are a lot of people that mps come second and vintage first, there's pretty close to 1k just in vintage pieces.

What works for me and my wife:

1. Out of the way.
2. Clean looking displays.
3. Keep them dusted.

My main collection is G1, followed by mps, alts, animated, and classics. Basically a G1 centered collection with Animated thrown in. Currently spread across two rooms, only because the one i wanted to use was too short to put the cabinets in (seriously, who the hell puts 6.5 foot ceilings in a house?) and the other two are tiny.

 

I think if your starting out after marriage, collecting may not be best for you. There are things that need to be saved up for to make a life. Such as house.

Once you are stabalized in life, and have enough money to save, and still afford these toys, then I say it is okay. Regardless if it is 2 cabinets, 2 rooms or the whole damn house.

 

No, it's irresponsible if you're irresponsible about spending. As several others have pointed out - pay the bills first. Don't throw hundreds (or thousands) of dollars at it when you have other things to pay off.

It's actually really simple to be an adult collector in an established relationship. I'm married. I spend as much as I want on my Transformers - as long as it comes out of my paypal account. And my paypal account can only be filled up by selling things. No withdraws from bank, no backup to credit card, just straight toy buying money earned from selling toys. So it never affects the monthly budget.

Every now and then I buy a figure or two at retail, but then we're talking about $15, maybe $20 a month. Not near enough to really affect the budget. And, bonus: sometimes I wind up with a bunch of extra money in the paypal account, which I then send to my bank account and use to make an extra car payment or credit card payment, or even just to throw into savings.

Asking someone to give up on a hobby when you move in together is basically saying "I don't actually like you the way you are, so you have to change." It's not a particularly "adult" way of thinking.

 

My wife's parents have kind of been always on the side of toy collecting in their own way. Her mom especially likes vintage kid toys that had uses, like bikes, wagons and few other things. But her main collection is 1930's-1950's toy sewing machines. Since moving out, my wife's former bed room is now her sewing work room and now another display space for her ever growing collection vintage sewing related stuff.

Her dad's collection room started with a few arcade games, like an omega race table and they also got Asteroids when the omega race was in need of repair for a few years(plus between all their kids they got almost every game system ever because her dad and mom like video games this much).

They also have a shooting gallery game that's early 1950's that has always been in the family and still works most of the time. A couple years ago a guy that restores old arcades fixed up their existing games and set them up with a pacman pinball machine and a stand up 3D version of omega race.



My wife and I met 8 years ago on a forum for yo-yos. Since being together or toy collections have kind of changed, but that's mainly because we also liked a lot of the same toys and other former collections or things to play with went just to make room for more stuff we really like. Still think it's pretty cool that we both can pretty much agree on any toy purchase.

And as far as saving money for date night or other expenses we're not the best at that. To us though a night playing with new transformers and other toys is a priority over normal adult expenses. So our whole relationship is pretty much based on not growing up or being very responsible with our collecting... but we're happy.

 

Call me immature, but all I can see in this title is "adult toy" collector. Just imagining glass display cases full of dildos and such.

 

Drop her!!! It's only a matter of time before she commands other shit..one should not give up what they love for who they love...true love would find a way to make the other party happy even if it's limited...

To this day if my wife ask me to drop transformers I'd drop her..and she knows this...thankfully she supports me 100%

 

Nice cliché. My wife doesn't collect anything.

 

Yup - as long as the bills are paid, and investments in the family's needs are being made, who cares?

True maturity in a relationship is about accepting your spouse and their hobbies, etc. Regardless.

 

This.

Also, pre-existing condition to relationship. Why should it change?