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Why we'll never get a good transformers movie

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Old 01-30-2013, 09:18 AM   #91
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I didn't go into the TF movies expecting G1. I expected a new history, and a new take on the characters I grew up with (a la Brian Singer's X-Men)...

what I got was a GI Joe movie blended with American Pie, with a few car-parts sculptures hitting each other. The car-parts sculptures I could stomach. Yes, they aren't ideal, but Barricade and Jazz looked pretty classic. What ruined TF for me was the Shia/Megan storyline and the borderline pornographic jokes that went with it. Took me out of the story, and took the enjoyment out of it. You don't watch a Godzilla movie to see two asian kids rub genitals, you watch Godzilla to see a man in a lizard suit throw a man in a dragon suit into cardboard buildings of Tokyo... That focus was lost in all three TF movies.

Another thing lost from standard TF lore is the fact that humans are mostly helpless against the decepticons unless the autobots are there to defend them. The armies of earth can fire all they want upon the decepticons, but the bullets and missiles bounce off... it's the AUTOBOTS that save the day...
In the movies, humans kill decepticons easier than I kill a housefly.

DOTM I was hoping would take a better approach, since Megan left, and the reports of Ultimate Doom as a backdrop to the story were leaked...Unfortunately, Deep Wang, Malkovich, and Shia's temper tantrum were ridiculously stupid. The sex and innuendo were reduced (thankfully), and it really started to feel Transformers-like, until the end where Shockwave was murdered blind (Shockwave was a HUGE disappointment for me in this film), and then the brutal murders of defeated and surrendered Megatron and Sentinel by Prime. That final act took what was one of the stronger TF films and completely soured it to something worse than Punisher: War Zone.
You walk away feeling dirty and needing a shower for seeing it.
Sometimes when you say that you don't like the movies people will say oh well you just like G1 and you can't accept anything else. But I don't go to the movies to get G1 I go expecting something that will exceed it.

All those years of Transformers stories to say hey the characters can be more than they were in the 80's. Film makers having the tools to actually exceed my imagination. Decades of work for Hollywood to polish the art of both action films and science fiction films. Seeing cultural milestones made out of geek stuff like Star Wars and superhero films. It seems like if there was a time to have wild expectations going into a film it would be the time we live in.

When Hollywood can give us The Joker, Avengers laying the smack down on an alien invasion when the live action and CGI characters are working as a team, when Lord of the Rings can put massive armies on the screen it's really disappointing that Transformers would struggle just to get up to something like G1 standards.
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Old 01-30-2013, 10:59 AM   #92
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Maybe since clearly the movies got it seriously backwards, they should be called Transpeople: Humans in disguise. Then since humans would be the main "exciting" characters the more "boring" robots would have all the focus...
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:14 AM   #93
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Maybe since clearly the movies got it seriously backwards, they should be called Transpeople: Humans in disguise. Then since humans would be the main "exciting" characters the more "boring" robots would have all the focus...
Jazzfan0217, such a win.
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:34 AM   #94
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Maybe since clearly the movies got it seriously backwards, they should be called Transpeople: Humans in disguise. Then since humans would be the main "exciting" characters the more "boring" robots would have all the focus...
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Waffles are tasty, but not as filling as robot dinosaurs and bitch slapping Primes.
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Old 01-30-2013, 12:05 PM   #95
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Transpeople: Humans in disguise
Unfortunately the humans in these movies aren't in disguise - you see them in the films everywhere you look. And that's the problem. In these movies it really is 'Transformers: Robots in Disguise' since they're so tucked away behind the apparently more important human story of a 'No no no'-ing selfish div trying to get laid and land a job while being a self-entitled twadge to everyone around him. Relatable reluctant hero everyman he is not.

I'd maybe be more forgiving of the human scenes in BayFormers if they didn't often centre around such unlikeable arses.

It's certainly not the kind of thing I'm interested in seeing concentrated on when it comes to a Transformers movie. It's just a pity that over a billion dollars-worth of people apparently do want to see that crap.
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Old 01-30-2013, 12:33 PM   #96
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The movies don't suck, the people who make them suck XD
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Old 02-03-2013, 01:55 PM   #97
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Lol.
When I saw the title, I just wanted to reply, that "We will not have a "good TF" movie as long as the humans are the main characters".
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:03 PM   #98
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We already got at least three good ones. They may not be exceptional, but they were good.
Good is a matter of opinion.

I would say average at best, horrendous at most (I am looking at ROTF).

The movies have great moments (usually anything to do with Optimus Prime) but is squashed down by the god awful human storylines and characters.

The most consistently good quality that the movies continue to carry through is the music score.
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Old 02-03-2013, 02:05 PM   #99
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Maybe since clearly the movies got it seriously backwards, they should be called Transpeople: Humans in disguise. Then since humans would be the main "exciting" characters the more "boring" robots would have all the focus...
The movies should be called 'Sam Whitwicky & the Transformers'

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Old 02-03-2013, 02:20 PM   #100
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Mostly, I like the movies, but now I am re- watching the first one, and it is hard sometimes, because there are too many scenes with humans. It is boring, I don't want to see how Sector Seven kidnapes teenagers and tortures BumbleBee.
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