I review every Transformers G1 episode ever..

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by Vector Squidma, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Mako Crab

    Mako Crab Well-Known Member

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    I remember always thinking that was cool. Didn't Laserbeak steal it back though? Hehe, I seem to recall Brawn saw the other end of the canon before that fight was over.

    Holy crap. :eek: 

    I wonder if Bumblebee ever hooked up with Princess Pancake's car. Bumblebee blushed at the mere mention of it!
     
  2. Mako Crab

    Mako Crab Well-Known Member

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    I literally laughed out loud when I read that!

    While Starscream may not have as grandiose of plans as Megatron, his plans tend to be more direct. Like in "Divide and Conquer", Starscream and the 'cons probably could've beaten the Autobots and prevented them from getting on the spacebridge, but Megatron just had to turn a simple battle into a big scheme to allow the Autobots to go to Cybertron and then dump acid rain on them. And we all know how well that all worked out for them.
    Plus we see in this episode and later in "Dinobot Island" that Starscream is just more scientifically minded and takes into consideration things like how unstable energon cubes might explode in their face or how disrupting the time/space continuum could be a bad thing for them. I'd really like to see Starscream as leader for more than 2 minutes.

    Think so? Damn. I think we're just on different wavelengths. This is another one I liked. I have to ask- did you grow up on G1, because I did. Maybe I'm just seeing it with a tinge of nostalgia. I really used to love dinosaurs when I was a kid. :D 
     
  3. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    *Picture if you will, Vector Squidma arriving home at his dorm room from speech class. With a pint of Ben and Jerry's in one hand and his backpack in the other, he walks past his lame-ass roommates (except for Mark, you're cool) and plops himself down in front of the computer to watch some Transformers. But before he does so, he goes to TFwiki to get a preview of what he is about to watch. What is the topic today, he wonders. Megatron builds another doomsday device? Omega Supreme kicks even more ass? Spike thinks of a solution to an obvious problem before any of the Autobots?*

    *No, it's interspecies romance.*

    Vector Squidma: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    Sea Change

    Plot Summary: *sigh* So we begin at a local lake, where Seaspray has just finished showing Bumblebee how to waterski. Seaspray notices that the first star of the evening has just emerged, and tells bumblebee to make a wish. Bumblebee asks what Seaspray's wish is, but Seaspray decides to keep it a secret.

    Meanwhile on a faraway planet we meet the Tlalakans, who have been enslaved by Deceptitran and his army of Decepticon droids. The Tlalakans are understandably rather fed up with the whole matter and revolt. Deceptitran panics and sends out a Decepticon distress signal.

    It just so happens that said signal is picked up by Seaspray! Wow, what an incredible coincidence! Seaspray returns to base to show the signal to Optimus Prime and Perceptor. They can't determine the specifics of the message, but are sure it's a distress signal. Optimus dispatches Seaspray, Bumblebee, Perceptor and Cosmos to check it out. Cosmos makes his way to the planet of the Tlalakans only to be shot down by Deceptitran's drones. The Autobots are almost captured, but the Tlalakans save them at the last moment. Seaspray also meets Alana at this point, and a burgeoning romance begins (ugh...).

    Meanwhile the Decepticons respond to the distress signal as well, and arrive in Astrotrain. Meanwhile the Tlalakans have taken the Autobots to the well of Transformation, which will be your stupid arbitrary plot device for the evening. Alana explains that when a sentient being jumps into the well they can use the energies of it to turn into whatever they want, but that robotic beings end up getting dissolved. Alana leaps in and demonstrates by turning herself into a mermaid (personally I would have turned myself into the Kraken and gone Kaiju on Deceptitran, but hey) and blowing Seaspray a kiss as she departs, causing Seaspray to start babbling with emotion (...no...).

    The Autobots head to the river, but are discovered by the Decepticons! Seaspray transforms and rushes them downstream, only to end up hurdling right over a waterfall. In the ensuing crash Perceptor, Cosmos, and Seaspray manage to escape with the Tlalakans while Bumblebee is captured. The Tlalakans take the Autobots to their underwater city, the one place Deceptitran has not discovered yet. The Tlalakans and Autobots hatch a plan to rescue Bumblebee, but with Cosmos and Perceptor damaged, it's just up to Seaspray and his fish people brigade to storm the castle. Seaspray charges in and rescues Bumblebee, only to be followed back underwater by Laserbeak, who alerts the other Decepticons.

    The Tlalakans are being chased by the droids through the forest, but manage to reach the Well of Transformation. Seaspray asks Alana if he really would die if he went in, and after some Anakin and Padme type bullshit about love and crap Seaspray jumps in...and emerges as Fabio...with robot feet.

    What.

    The two jump into the well again and turn into mer-people and rush to help the other Tlalakans, only for Seaspray to realize "oh crap, I don't have any weapons in Fabio mode". They are pursued by Rumble and lead him back into the Well of Transformation, where Alana tricks him into transforming himself into a tree. (What.)Seaspray turns back into his old robot mode and Alana turns herself into a robot too!(WHAT.)They transform into a Hovercraft and a Gondola (WHAT?) respectively and head towards the Energon warehouse.

    Back underwater Megatron is kicking the everloving crap out of the Tlalakans when he receives yet another distress call from Deceptitran. Megatron really doesn't care about the droids, but since his precious Energon is being threatened he rushes to help him. Too bad Alana has already reprogrammed Deceptitran and has ordered the Droids to attack the Decepticons! Seaspray uses the distraction to destroy the Energon cubes and the Decepticons retreat.

    With the day saved the Tlalakans thank the Autobots for their help, but Alana has returned to her human(oid) form. Seaspray asks if they will ever be together, and Alana replys that it doesen't matter what their physical appearance is (um, yes it does), they will always be together in spirit. (WHAT? WHAT!?!?!? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!)

    Comments:

    -So Seaspray recieved some RANDOM transmission from some RANDOM planet in the middle of nowhere witch was RANDOMLY sent out at RANDOM. *sigh*...whatever...

    -Is it just me, or is Deceptitran the robot version of Jabba the Hutt?

    -I love the "hydraulic bush" in front of the well of transformation.

    -Um, Seaspray? You met this chick a few hours ago, tops. Why are you so crazy about her all of the sudden? I mean she's kind of hot if your into the whole "horseface" thing, but otherwise what's the big deal?

    -How the hell does a series about giant robots end up having TWO whole episodes about fish people?

    Score: Well the good news is that this episode was not as stupid and awkward as I thought it was going to be. The bad news is that it was still stupid and awkward. I'm not going to go into my whole rant about interspecies romance here, save to say that it almost ALWAYS comes off as EXTREMELY CREEPY. If this episode had left the whole romantic subplot out it would be average at best, but with the romantic bullcrap intact the most its going to get is a 1/10.
     
  4. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    WOW! 1/10 is a lot more than I would've given it! -5/10 more like it! This episode made no sense to me in the world of Transformers. They could have done something a little bit more like Stargate Atlantis kind of thing.
    Yes, I understand that Transformers have "feelings", but shouldn't they stick with their own kind?
     
  5. Coeloptera

    Coeloptera Big, bad beetle-bot

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    Not one of the shining moments, no, but a 1? It's not "The Girl Who Loved Powerglide"!

    Maybe a 4. It's competent, anyway. No glaring errors, basic internal consistency, nothing really riotously wrong.

    But the well...you can't imagine the hot, sizzling death-machine that would come tearing up out of that cavern if I had access to it in that sort of situation. I mean, what limitations are there, if any? It turned a human into a Transformer! Surely there are human allies that would jump at the chance for that! Hey, Cliffjumper, you wanna be a hulking war-mech? Hop in! Talk about not exploring a concept.

    The set up as well, the old "picks up a random transmission that happens to involve your recurring enemies" thing...it was the 80s, I guess.

    - Coeloptera
     
  6. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Like I said, Interspecies romance is an automatic wall banger for me. There are a few exceptions (Avatar for instance, since it was a human in an alien body), but in almost every other case it is just plain stupid.

    Maybe it's because I am a biology nerd (well, okay it IS because I am a biology nerd) but any way I look at it I see SOOOOOO many biological roadblocks. Yeah yeah, I know a lot of people handwave it away with "convergent evolution" or "panspermia" or some other bullshit, but I'm telling you right now, two species from two completely different planets and two completely different evolutionary backgrounds will in NO WAY be physically or psychologically compatible.

    Bottom line, Interspecies romance is one of the few things that will make me automatically hate something.
     
  7. Obsidian X

    Obsidian X Dork of the moon

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    Wow... what a hater for this episode.

    You can ignore all sort of other unlogical gaps and stuff that doesn't make any sense but not interspeices romance, well at least you explain why. Guess you aint going to enjoy the girl who loved Powerglide then.

    Loved the 'Fabio mode'-bit :D 

    I'm almost affraid to say this, but I like this episode (dont hunt me down and kill me please?). Always enjoyed it when the Transformers went to other worlds and we got to see that the conflict wasn't only restricted to Cybertron and Earth (partly because of that I really love season 3, the space opera season).
    Deceptitraan and the drones ftw!
     
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  8. Fairlady_Z

    Fairlady_Z Official Voice of Flareup

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    I like Sea Change too. One of my favorite things about TFs is that they are sentient beings and not just robots. This issue pioneered that TFs really do have a spark/soul long before BW refined it. Who wouldn't think it cool to just through a pool and turn into a TF for a day or a mermaid or something cool like that, that's pure childhood wish fullfillment. I also love the comment BB makes about the shooting stars at the end, dunno why, it's just a cool stargazing image.
     
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  9. UltraMagnus3786

    UltraMagnus3786 That's what it is

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    don't worry squidma, i'm largely with you. let's put this episode back in the scrap heap
     
  10. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    And I don't mind at all when Transformers act emotional. I don't even mind when Transformers have relationships with eachother. Hell, if it's done well I even encourage it. I DO mind when the multi-ton robot wants to get its freak on with the 150 pound fish-lady.
     
  11. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Triple Takeover

    Plot Summary: We begin in the middle of some random desert, where Blitzwing, Astrotrain and Starscream are carving their faces into the side of a mountain...with lasers. They also carve in Megatron's face, but Starscream points out that Megatron has still failed to lead them to victory, and they blast his face off the mountain, and agree to overthrow the old coot while they are at it! While flying back to base they decide that Starscream will lead Megatron into a trap. Starscream upholds his end of the deal when he leads Megatron into the sewers, claiming that there is an Autobot base down there. Astrotrain and Blitzwing spring the trap when they pump a cloud of freezing gas into the sewers, freezing Megatron solid. Starscream tries to an escape via an escape hatch, only for it to stick, and he gets frozen too.

    Blitzwing decides that his first act as new joint leader should be to choose a base. So of course he chooses a football stadium, and appoints the coach as his second in command, since he is pretty sure that football coaches know all about military strategy (If you haven't figured it out yet, Astrotrain and Blitzwing are IDIOTS. They're like the Skids and Mudflap of G1, only without the unfortunate implications). Blitzwing asks the coach for military strategies, but all the coach can come up with is "zone defense" and "long bomb". Blitzwing decides to take his advice and orders the Constructicons to build a maze outside the stadium (since it's a form of DEFENSE, in a ZONE) and begins randomly launching BOMBS a LONG way into the city. Some of the Autobots try to put a halt to his nonsense, but end up getting trapped in his zone defense maze where Blitzwing (literally) crushes the everloving crap out of them in tank mode.

    Meanwhile Astrotrain has selected a trainyard as his new base of operations, and after he shoos of the conductor, decides he needs an army. He takes the obvious route of ripping out chunks of a computer terminal and shoving them inside the nearby trains to create an army of robot trains, which he dubs the "Astro Force". He orders the Astro Force to head into a nearby tunnel and gather Energon Cubes, but the Astro Force phails spectacularly.

    Powerglide meanwhile has been sent out to look for the missing Autobots and discovers them in the middle of Blitzwing's maze...where scrapper has twisted their corpses into a throne (EEEEWWWW!). Smokescreen heads in and distracts scrapper long enough for hoist to haul off and repair the other Autobots. Meanwhile the seekers stop by Astrotrain's base to see how he is doing, but the Astroforce has somehow managed to tie themselves into knots. Astrotrain cajoles one of the trains to get moving and eventually it does...and crashes right into a water main, causing a massive flood. The flood pours down into the sewers where it unfreezes Megatron and Starscream, at which point Megatron chokes Starscream for what be the 15th or so time (boy, no wonder so much fanfiction gets written about these two, especially with Starscream's squeaky, not at all villainous voice).

    Optimus, Ironhide and Spike see the two Decepticons and try to stop them but are halted by the massive torrent of water. Optimus rescues Spike from being washed away and safely loads him into Powerglide. Optimus and Ironhide head for the water main and seal it closed, and sets off for the trainyard. They run into Starscream and Megatron and Optimus asks for where the REAL leaders of the Decepticons are. This understandably pisses Megatron off, and he ignores his sworn enemy and heads off to beat the everloving crap out of Astrotrain and Blitzwing. Optimus decides to just sit back and watch the fireworks.

    Meanwhile the Constructicons confront Blitzwing about their payment for building the Zone Defense, but Blitzwing tells them to jump off a bridge. They are understandably quite peeved about this, and turn into Devastator. The flood from the water main finally reaches the stadium and deposits Astrotrain, who also gets caught up in the melee. Starscream and Megatron ALSO show up, and a massive battle royale begins. Megatron eventually prevails and decides to spare the traitors, saying the Decepticon cause is the most important thing. The Autobots, who have been watching the whole thing (and presumably laughing their asses off the entire time) roll on home.

    Comments:

    -This episode opens with a couple of the Decepticons carving what will now be known as "Mt. Deceptimore". What I want to know is how they can carve faces into rocks by SHOOTING IT WITH LASERS. That takes some awesome aim.

    -And you thought the whole Baseball escapade at the beginning of "Child's Play" was the most random bit of sports related nonsense in this series. The Football nonsense in this episode is WAY more bizarre. But at the same time, far funnier. I especially love this bit of dialog:

    Football player: Coach, it's a tank! What do I do?
    Coach: Give him the ball!
    *The football player chucks the football directly into Blitzwing's barrel, he fires it directly at the scoreboard*
    Blitzwing: I WIN!

    -Yeah, by this point in the series the Decepticons have crashed through FAR more walls than the Kool-Aid man.

    -Darkest line of dialog in the series so far:

    Blitzwing: Tell me what's on your mind, or I'll splatter it on the wall and see for myself!

    So child unfriendly...but SO AWESOME.

    -So apparently Astrotrain can speak "Train". Huh.

    -So what's more gruesome, Scrapper's throne made up of the fully intact corpses of four Autobots, or Optimus Prime's backpack made up of the corpse of one partially intact Decepticon?

    -I've already seen this scene a bunch on youtube, but it's so damn funny I have to post it again. Starscream confirms he is in fact, stupid.

    -That is one HELL of a water main break. It floods the entire city!

    -I think Trailbreaker came out of the closet since his forcefield in this episode is rainbow colored. And FAAAAABULOOOOOOOUS!!!!

    Score: This series has had funny episodes before (Decepticon raider in King Arthur's court) episodes that tried to be funny and failed (Kremzeek), but this one is the first one that had me ROLLING ON THE FLOOR the entire episode. Seriously, this episode was drop dead hilarious. I really want to see more of Blitzwing and Astrotrain now, they should get their own Ren and Stimpy style show, maybe call it "Blitzy and Astro". Either way, this episode had me smiling ear to ear for 22 minutes. You know what; I think this episode deserves a 10/10.
     
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  12. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    At least this episode bought the series back to reality. Well, as much reality as cartoonly possible.
     
  13. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Be strong enough to be gentle

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    I guess I'm not the only one who thought Triple Takeover was fucking awesome.
     
  14. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 Optimus, serving up the primest of ribs since 1984

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    I quite agree with you Split.
     
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  15. Coeloptera

    Coeloptera Big, bad beetle-bot

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    One of the best and most entertaining overall eps of the G1 'toon. Never fails to entertain.

    - Coeloptera
     
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  16. X-Brawn

    X-Brawn Well-Known Member

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    Fixed.
     
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  17. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Them too.
     
  18. Pravus Prime

    Pravus Prime Wields Mjolnir!

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    You changed your Kremzeek! score to a 3, still higher then The Golden Lagoon and Sea Change. Still Judged

    Triple Takeover is one of the best of G1 as well, IMHO. I'm surprised you spoil yourself before every episode by reading about them first on TFwiki, as well as become exposed to their opinions before you can form your own.

    As an aside, I recently started a similar watch and review thread on another board for a non-TF series and I'm trying my hardest not to spoil myself at all so that all my opinions and notes are honest from the actual viewing rather then bias' of others. Also I have the rare honor that the series writer is participating in my thread.
     
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  19. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Prime Target

    Plot Summary: We begin in the Arctic Circle, where some Russian chick is flying around in a top secret soviet airplane, when suddenly a submarine bursts through the ice and shoots the plane with a grappling hook! She ejects, but the submarine escapes with the plane in tow. As it turns out the submarine was owned by Lord Chumley, who is by far the most batshit insane person on the entire show (you'll see why shortly). He struts around his trophy room acting British and says that the only thing he needs to complete his collection is the head of Optimus Prime.

    Meanwhile Track and Bumblebee are rolling around the city when they catch sight of Blitzwing and Astrotrain. They follow the two lovable idiots into a alley only to discover they are holograms projected by Lord Chumley, who manages to capture both the Autobots! Back at Autobot HQ the Autobots are watching a Soap Opera when it is interrupted by a news broadcast. Apparently the Soviet Union is none too happy about having their top secret plane stolen, and is accusing the US of taking it, causing both countries to prepare for war. Prime is more concerned about the whereabouts of Bumblebee and Tracks though, and orders the Autobots to head to the city and look for them.

    Too bad Lord Chumley was expecting this, and uses a series of bizarre and incredibly stupid traps to capture many of the Autobots. Inferno manages to radio back about the traps, and Optimus orders the other Autobots to fall back before any more get captured. Back at base Cosmos contacts Optimus Prime with a message from Lord Chumley. Apparently he has taken the Autobots he captured and stuck them in weird torture devices in order to lure out Optimus Prime. Warpath suggests the sensible approach that they all just go kick the everloving crap out of him, but Optimus Prime has to be all honorable and whatnot and goes alone.

    Meanwhile Megatron is watching the whole thing unfold via his magic omniscient TV, and orders Blitzwing and Astrotrain to go make an alliance with Lord Chumley. Optimus arrives at...wherever the hell Lord Chumley's castle is, and finds that Lord Chumley has built an exact replica of the Cybertronian Landscape around it. Optimus Prime fights his way through numerous traps (including A GODDAMN DRAGON) until Lord Chumley decides to take matters into his own hands and fight Optimus Prime with a Giant Enemy Scorpion. Blitzwing and Astrotrain arrive right around this time and see Optimus attacking the monster's weak point for massive damage and shoot him in the back. Lord Chumley is not pleased with the Decepticon's interference so he captures them and defuses their weapons.

    Bumblebee meanwhile manages to send Optimus Prime a message in between dodging giant swinging bladed pendulums (no really), and Optimus storms into the castle. After killing a giant robot spider he somehow bursts right through the control screen Lord Chumley was watching this whole thing from. Lord Chumley runs to Astrotrain and Blitzwing for aid, who say that they will fight Optimus Prime in exchange for freedom. Lord Chumley frees them and they promptly get to work trying to kill Lord Chumley. Optimus Prime frees the other Autobots, and the Decepticons retreat, leaving Lord Chumley at Optimus's mercy.

    Optimus decides to strap Lord Chumley to the nose of the stolen Soviet jet and return it to the Reds, thus defusing the international tensions between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. and saving the world.

    Comments:

    -Remember that crappy story "The Most Dangerous Game" we all had to read in freshman English class? Wouldn't it have been awesome if we watched this episode instead?

    -Where the hell did Lord Chumley get the money to buy a FUCKING NUCLEAR SUBMARINE? I mean I guess that would make a little more sense if this episode was set after the fall of the Berlin Wall when the Soviet Union just started handing out military hardware, but as this episode makes abundantly clear, the Cold War was still very active. Come to think of it, where did Lord Chumley get the money to build all these crazy traps period?

    -I love how Teletraan 1 has a built in "Feedback Overload" switch. Wouldn't it be awesome if you could end a bad phone conversation by blowing up the other person's cell phone?

    -According to this episode there are REAL GODDAMN DRAGONS living in Borneo! I gotta go to Borneo now.

    -Is it just me or does Dinsmore look EXACTLY like Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

    -I love Optimus Prime's line: "Amazing, a booby trap that actually catches boobies." Also interesting to note that a line almost identical to this one was said by Megatron in Beast Wars.

    Score: ....this episode was freakin WEIRD... I mean, where the hell did the writers come up with this crap? "A snobby British dude tries to hunt Optimus Prime with robotic Arachnids and Dragons"? WTF!?!? I have a feeling some people are going to make a case for it being so bad it's good, but really this episode started out as bad, became so bad it's good halfway through, then kept up with the stupid and ended up as so bad it's horrible. 1/10.
     
  20. Fairlady_Z

    Fairlady_Z Official Voice of Flareup

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    These are always fun to read. Keep the reviews coming.