I review every Transformers G1 episode ever..

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by Vector Squidma, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Obsidian X

    Obsidian X Dork of the moon

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    Are you implying that Ratchet is the Technobots grandmother?
     
  2. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Be strong enough to be gentle

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    the only thing I hate in season 3 is that Grimlock apparently forgot he could transform. Seriously, being so smart, didn't he think he could maybe build things and just generally do anything with a slight-more amount of ease in the form best-suited for that kinda stuff? (i.e., the humanoid one)


    Yes he is.
     
  3. UltraMagnus3786

    UltraMagnus3786 That's what it is

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    Nurse Ratchet!!
     
  4. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    Why couldn't Grimlock have kept his new brain? Why did he have to go back to ******-land?
     
  5. doomboy536

    doomboy536 Universe Onslaught fanboy

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    Possibly one of the greatest sentences to ever come out of the fandom.
     
  6. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Money is Everything

    Plot Summary: We begin IN SPACE, where the trading vessel Lazy Sue is being pursued by Hun-Gurr. The captain; Dirk Manus radios for help and the EDC sends out Marissa Faireborne, Scattorshot, and Strafe. In the fracas though the Lazy Sue ends up getting shot down and Hun-Gurr is only subdued after the rest of the technobots arrive.

    Dirk Manus emerges from the ship and after burying a mysterious object near the crash site, begins playing up the "dashing rogue" type by hitting on Marissa. He mentions that he was probably attacked after he passed by a Quintesson base on Titan. Marissa is shocked to hear about the base, and asks Dirk to take her (to the base I mean), but Dirk says they will have to pay his fee first. The Technobots merge into Computron to deliberate, and conclude they should depart first thing tomorrow morning. Dirk uses the opportunity to take Marissa out to a swanky restaurant.

    In the wee hours of the morning though, Dirk heads back out to the crash site and calls his clients; THE QUINTESSONS! Turns out they sent Hun-Gurr to ambush him (which really makes no sense when you think about it), and Dirk uses the knowledge to demand triple payment for the device he is carrying for them. He also says he will try and lead the Technobots into a trap. Marissa happened to be listening to the entire thing though and holds Dirk at gunpoint, only for Dirk to whip out a tiny hand blaster and disarm her before tying her up and groping her boobs (that last part occurs offscreen by the way).

    The next morning Scattorshot, Strafe, and Lightspeed set out with Dirk, unaware of his betrayal. As they near Saturn they are attacked by Abominus, who shoots down the three Technobots before forcing the Lazy Sue to the surface. Dirk delivers the Recreator to the Quintessons, a device which can destroy any object and rematerialize it moments later, repairing all injuries in the process. The Quintessons agree to pay him and Dirk sets out, but plants a small device on the Recreator before he leaves.

    Turns out the Quints double crossed him though, as the money they gave him was actually worthless mimic dust. Furious, Dirk decides to activate the device he planted, which will destroy the Recreator. As he does so though, a bomb goes off on his OWN ship, sending him plummeting back towards the surface.

    He happens to land near the Technobots who are none too happy about his betrayal. Before they can do anything about it though they are attacked by a pack (school?) of Sharkticons. They put up a valiant effort but are forced to the edge of a cliff, only to be saved by the arrival of Marissa and the rest of the Technobots. Marissa hops out and beats the everloving crap out of Dirk, and decides to leave him to rot on the moon's surface. Dirk warns them about the Recreator though, and they all agree it is too great a threat to pass up, and set off. Along they way Marissa is attacked by...uh...vines (come to think of it, why the hell do all the vines in this series attack people?) only to be rescued by Dirk. She thanks him with an impromptu makeout session, during which Dirk grabs her gun and forces her to surrender, and leads them all to the Quintessons.

    Back at the Quintesson base Dirk tries to renegotiate his contract before turning the Recreator on the Technobots, destroying them. The Terrorcons meanwhile are still hungry and begin to descend on Marissa, only for Dirk to reactivate the recreator, causing the Technobots to reappear and healing their injuries. Now healed, the Technobots merge into Computron. Dirk expains his plan was just to make Marissa THINK he was working with the Quints, just so he could get close enough to repair the Technobots. Computron meanwhile beats the everloving crap out of Abominus, forcing the Terrorcons to retreat.

    Back on Earth Marissa and Dirk bid farewell to eachother, only for lightspeed to dash in and reveal that a large amount of credits was stolen from the EDC! Marissa assumes it was Dirk, but lets him go anyway...as it turns out the money he stole was also mimic dust.

    Comments:

    -I love how spastic Strafe is.

    -Where the hell does Dirk take Marissa? I mean what kind of high class restaurant has balconies filled with wildly flagellateing dancers in green bodysuits?

    -Marissa wants to maroon Dirk on a hostile alien planet? Huh. I never thought Marissa would be a bad cop.

    -Aaaand less than a minute later they are making out. WHAT?

    Score: Well I was all set to give this episode a high score based on the fact that the Technobots and Terrorcons would get another episode dedicated to them...only to find out the episode wasn't really about them at all. I mean the whole romance angle between Dirk and Marissa ping pongs back and forth between loathing and affection so much I can't tell whether they love or hate eachother. Still, the action is nice, I just wish the romance was cut down on. 6/10.
     
  7. Insane Galvatron

    Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

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    Am I the only one that thinks Dirk is based on Bruce Campbell?
     
  8. doomboy536

    doomboy536 Universe Onslaught fanboy

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    I like the Terrorcons and Technobots, but this was far from their finest hour.
     
  9. Obsidian X

    Obsidian X Dork of the moon

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    I like Money is everything for its focus on Ratchets and Wheeljacks grandchildren but besides that its not one of the better episodes.

    two stinkers coming up!
    Yeah I know, call of the primitives has great animation - too bad that's all it got.
     
  10. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Call of the Primitives

    Plot Summary: We begin in...uh...some weird place, where some weird guy feeds some weird shit to some weird flaming ball of crazy, and then sets it loose on the universe, where it promptly envelops Cybertron and leeches all the energy from it. The weird guy praises the ball of crazy, saying it has already surpassed it's predecessor, Unicron.

    Meanwhile on the Moon the Autobots and Decepticons are duking it out in an awesomely animated battle involving most of the season 3 cast. Without warning a mysterious voice begins radiating from the deepest reaches of space, but only the transformers with animal alt modes hear it. They all set aside their differences, hop aboard Trypticon and blast off, to the bewilderment of the remaining Transformers. They don't get a chance to do much else, as the ball of crazy swoops down and sucks all the energy out of them and the Earth.

    Aboard Trypticon meanwhile the Transformers realize that despite being summoned by some omniscient voice they are still on opposite sides, and begin fighting. The Abberation emits a gibbering wail, as he tells Trypticon to get them back in line, and he responds by shaking them around until the cooperate. They arrive at...some really old place at the middle of the galaxy, and set out to explore. They wander into a cave where they find some...sort of sentient glowing wall of cotton candy. The cotton candy explains that long long ago he was the assistant of Primacron (A.K.A. the weird guy), who created Unicron. Why did he create Unicron you ask? The episode never really makes it clear. For shits and giggles apparently. Unicron of course rebelled and blew the everloving crap out of Primacron. Primacron finally woke up and decided to build a second eldritch abomination for the hell of it, only he made this one out of energy, dubbing it Tornedron (A.K.A. the ball of crazy). The cotton candy also explains that he summoned them because their "primitive minds" allows them to outsmart Tornedron by being...stupider than him...

    Look, I don't understand what Don Glut was thinking either.

    So anyways, Tornedron shows up and drains Trypticon dry, who collapses on top of Grimlock. The other primitives split up, but Tornedron also splits up, chases them all down and absorbs their energy too. Grimlock though is still kicking, and after blowing his way out from under Trypticon and makes his way into Primacron's lab, only to discover he is some little shrimpy pile of alien crap that makes Yoda look like Chuck Norris. He orders Primacron to call Tornedron off, but turns out Tornedron has also decided to rebel. Primacron hits Tornedron with every bit of technobabble in the book, but nothing works. Grimlock though pulls a lever that somehow reverses Tornedron's...everything, causing him to zip around the galaxy and return all the energy he stole. Grimlock destroys Primacron's lab for insurance, declaring it the smartest thing he has ever done.

    Comments:

    -I've heard this episode is renowned for looking good and it sure as hell does, almost as good as the movie. I wish the rest of the series looked this pretty.

    -HOLY SHIT! A GIANT SPIDER MADE OF ENERGY JUST SUCKED ALL THE LIFE OUT OF THE EARTH!

    -Um...why couldn't Tornedron rebel again? I mean I hardly think not having a physical body means you suddenly gain obedience.

    -Oh god, the fate of the universe is in GRIMLOCK's hands! We're doomed.

    Score: Well this episode has it's ups and downs. On the one hand, the whole Primacron/Tornedron/Unicron backstory is a mess. I feel like they wrote half the backstory, said "eh, fuck it" and hoped the pretty colors would make up for it. Which brings me to the good part. IT WAS GORGEOUS. Seriously, why couldn't these guys have animated the rest of season 3 instead of AKOM? I suppose "money" is the obvious reason, but a little effort goes a long way people. The fact that the action was fantastic helped too. 6/10.
     
  11. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    I just watched this episode this evening my self. It was alright. But kind of stupid that they called ALL the primitives only to have Grimlock, who appears to be the dumbest one of them all say, "Eh, flip it in reverse." LOL!

    Oh, and I'm hating Skylynx's personality. He think's he knows it all and does it better than the everybody else! UGH! What an ego!
     
  12. Coeloptera

    Coeloptera Big, bad beetle-bot

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    But...he does and he is.

    He is made of win and awesome. But no humility.

    I also just cannot comprehend what a "primitive" is supposed to be. Does it just mean "has a beast mode"? How in the Pit is that supposed to be any different than any other alt-mode? I mean, "being a moron" is hardly a prerequisite, and many of the TFs there with beast modes aren't stupid. Ravage, Sky Lynx, and Steeljaw are actually all at 8s in INT.

    Yeah, the Primacron thing is sort of best forgotten, I think. It also makes little sense.

    Oh, and even if they did return all the stolen energy to Earth, the devastation wreaked by all the shutdowns/unconsciousness would be unbelievable. Crashes, explosions, falls, and so on.

    But man, did that ep look nice, and it was always nice to see the Terrorcons do some stuff.

    - Coeloptera
     
  13. UltraMagnus3786

    UltraMagnus3786 That's what it is

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    what i really liked about this episode (aside from the animation) was the battle of the primitives against tornedron. when skylynx gives into his rage and loses his cool, he is immediately defeated. slag takes up leadership, and the predacons make a final stand deciding to fight over flee. pretty epic showdown if you ask me. yes, it's a shame unicron was the toy of an apeman, and that grimmy shut everything down with a switch (life lesson: sometimes the simplest of solutions is the best), but i always thought there was more good than bad here.
     
  14. doomboy536

    doomboy536 Universe Onslaught fanboy

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    The last stand of the Predacons is my favourite part of this episode.
    "To the end!"
     
  15. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Note: This episode is jam packed with a ton of "Japanesey" sounding words. As someone who is not a weaboo (there are a few anime series I make exception for though) and who prefers dubs over subs, I've gone and replaced all the Japanesey words with much more English sounding, easier to type words. If you are really bent out of shape, look the names up on TFwiki, although I can't imagine anyone getting defensive about this pile of crap episode.

    The Face of the Nancy

    Plot Summary: We begin IN SPACE, where the Abberation cuts a swath of tears across the universe, Ultra Magus, Rodimus, Blurr, and Perceptor in tow. They come across Galvatron attacking a mysterious metal disk in space and swoop down to investigate. They also detect a Quintesson ship moving to attack Galvatron, so they decide the only logical thing to do is attack them both.

    The Quintessons meanwhile are worried about the Autobots finding anything out about said big disk, which they call the "Quadrant Lock"...unless they find out about it from the other side! They throw open the lock and use some sort of tractor beam (or at least I assume that's what they are doing, the animation is vague) to haul the Autobots and Cyclonus through the lock. With the lock closed behind them the Quintessons begin to gloat, only to realize their isolator key is busted, preventing them from returning through the lock. However Perceptor has a device called a universal emulator, which could replace it.

    Perceptor meanwhile is locked in microscope mode (for some reason), and plummets into the gravity well of the nearby planet of Ziggy Stardust. The natives set out to investigate on the backs of creatures that look like a cross between a golden retriever and a komodo dragon, find Perceptor, and haul him back to camp. The other Autobots crash land in the forest. While Rodimus and Ultra Magnus are unscathed, Blurr was injured in the crash and is unable to transform.

    Back at the camp, a blacksmith cuts out Perceptor's Autobot insignia, taking the Universal Emulator with it. He inserts the insigna into the empty head of a small robotic Geisha named Nancy. He is disturbed though by two Sharkticons dispatched by the Quintessons to recover the Univeral Emulator, but he manages to beat the everloving crap out of them WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Perceptor meanwhile has awoken to find his mind transplanted into the body of Nancy, and asks the blacksmith (named Ken) just WTF is going on. Ken explains that long long ago the people of Ziggy Stardust developed interstellar travel under the guidance of the giant mechanical Buddha statue named Kyle. Ken's ancestor, Nate, built Nancy to serve as a drone that would captain said starship. Too bad the Quintessons had to go and be patoots, as they swooped down, blew the crap out of Nancy and the starship, and locked the planet away in it's own pocket dimension using the Quadrant lock. Perceptor concludes that the people of Ziggy Stardust must seem threatening to the Quintessons for some reason, and tells Ken they need to warn them of the Quintesson's return.

    Meanwhile Blurr is slowing Rodimus and Ultra Magnus down, so they dump him in the forest and set off to find Perceptor. Turns out they have the WORST TIMING EVER, as a band of natives stumbles upon Blurr literally seconds later, and drags him off. The Quintessons meanwhile are in a bit of a pickle, since if the Sharkticons can't retrieve the Universal Emulator then they sure as hell don't stand a chance. Cyclonus however shows up and makes them a deal, give Galvatron the secret of the Quadrant lock, and he'll help them get the Emulator. Meanwhile, Ultra Magnus and Rodimus manage to hunt down Perceptor, but without the Universal Emulator he can't move or think, much less help them escape. They grab his body and set out once again.

    At the city of Tater Tots meanwhile the natives are preparing to execute Blurr by dropping him in a cauldron of lava (where did they get the lava from?). Cyclonus and the Quintesson goad the crowd on (and are somehow not noticed) only to be stopped by the emergence of the Empress of Ziggy Stardust. Nancy emerges and attempts to explain the situation, but the Quintesson decries it as lies, as the crowd goes crazy once again and Cyclonus absconds with Nancy.

    Ken manages to grab Cyclonus's legs and ride him up to the Quintesson ship, only for the Quintessons to subdue him with some kind of electo-headgear. Cyclonus orders Nancy to GIVE ME YOUR FACE, and she complies. Back in Tater Tots meanwhile Blurr is finally lowered into the lava, only to find that the heat actually HEALS him! He erupts from the cauldron followed closely by Ultra Magnus and Rodimus and they all leap into the Quintesson ship, where they beat the everloving crap out of the Quintessons and Cyclonus and free Nancy and Ken. They nab the Emulator and escape.

    Back in Tater Tots the people fret over the Quintesson's next move, but Perceptor (now back in his real body) tells them not to worry. Indeed, as the Quintesson ship passes through the Quadrant lock (despite it, you know, NOT BEING ABLE TO BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE FRIGGIN EMULATOR) Ziggy Stardust is freed from the pocket universe. As it turns out the natives of Ziggy Stardust are telepathic, but their telepathy comes from the Robo-Buddha statue, Kyle, which is powered by Starlight. Their telepathy now restored, the natives all begin shooting lasers out of their foreheads and Perceptor realizes that one day they will be able to move at the speed of thought.

    ...or some bullshit like that, I have no freakin idea.

    Comments:

    -So if a tree feels like steel then what exactly DOES a rock feel like? Oddly enough, a pile of custard.

    -Okay, let me get this straight. They removed Perceptor's Autobot insignia, stuck it onto the face of a robotic geisha, it bonded to said geisha and thus became the geisha's new face as well as transplanting Perceptor's mind into her body?

    WHAT!?!?!?

    -So the natives lynch Blurr on site, but they are okay with Cyclonus and a Quintesson just waltzing around?

    Score: Just when I think I'm used to episodes that really have nothing to do with Transformers they drop something like this one me. A planet inhabited by half Japanese half Mongolian people who shoot lasers out of their foreheads which are powered by a giant psionic robo-buddha? WHAT!? Seriously, where the hell are they getting these ideas from? Normally this is the part where I say it at least had good action...but it didn't! In fact, there was hardly any action! I felt bored literally the entire time. 1/10.
     
  16. Jetstorm

    Jetstorm Wielder of the Keyblade

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    :lol  That episode always puts me to sleep everytime I try to watch it lol.
     
  17. Obsidian X

    Obsidian X Dork of the moon

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    Haha.. Yeah That episode is bizarre and horrible, one of the worst episodes of G1.
    Well, only six episodes left. I'm not a big fan of the three episodes of season 4 but the last three episodes of this season is really good and animated by Toei to boot.
     
  18. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    The Rebirth is a great 3-part episode. I just wish they didn't stop there after introducing us to the Headmasters and Targetmasters. It's a pitty we meet Scorponok and Fortress Maximus and then, thats the end. Yea, I know there's the Headmasters show, but not sure if it's the same. Or has the same feel. I'll have to watch the Headmasters series to know.
     
  19. Pravus Prime

    Pravus Prime Wields Mjolnir!

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    Wow, I think Rebirth is one of the worst episodes of the series. Character motivations are wonky at best, the plot makes way too many jumps and is overall ran at breakneck pace, has lots of unneccessary sidetracking, is just stupid overall, and is the most blatant "To Sell Toys" story in the entire franchise.

    Also, Rebirth and Headmasters don't fit together, it's either one or the other.
     
  20. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    Lets see what Vector Squidma has to say when he gets to them.