Ratchet: It however did take a while before she stopped carrying a loaded Shot Gun with her, finally reveld her real name, stopped secertly recording out converstaions, she stopped carrying the pepper spray and the n finally she stopped recording out Converstaions
Fanatic...why do almost all of your chapters involve giving someone a love interest? It's wholly unnecessary. And in this situation, breaks the flow of your story. If having this flashback was necessary, then it should have either been trimmed down to 2 pages, or held off until a later date adding to the mystery and making the overall story more compelling.
To be fair, it's better than saying Ratchet is just a medic with a troubled past. Fanatic is trying to give us a reason to care about Ratchet's issues. I see where you're coming from, people like a good/shown back story.
To be fair this was written months ago so you are going to see a difference if Stone does my latest script. *In the shadows behind me you can see the outline of Nexus Bee shooting outlines of Wheeljack and Ratchet an Energon splatters me* A BIG difference
