Ugh, just relax, dude. You're taking way too seriously. "Love is beyond the real world." What does that even mean? And for real, tell her you're not cool with it (which is silly), and then break it off. Not 'cause of the pot, but because you're clearly incompatible for a dozen other reasons. And pot's a waste of time? C'mon, man. You're asking relationship questions on a toy website. Bitching about people who get high is a little absurd of you.
i realize how silly it is, which is why i really think that ultimately i'll be able to suck it up and be ok with it. i mean, part of me already doesn't really care, but part of me is messed up and confused. it's the doing it behind my back that really stings. just the fact that she was keeping something from me for four or five months; and it wasn't just once or twice, it was on a regular basis. a few times a week. clearly she didn't feel very bad about it.
She obviously felt bad enough to keep it a secret from you. The way I see it: It's a doubled edged sword, she chose to smoke something that she knew was questionable (especially with you wanting to be a cop) but she kept it a secret from you because she knew it would bother you. It's like not giving a shit about you but still caring about you at the same time. If that makes any sense.
You act like she cheated on you our something. She smoked some fucking weed. Either stop bitching or break up with her.
THIS WAS THE POINT I TRIED TO MAKE EARLIER! This isn't about pot, it's about two people on opposite ends of the spectrum, clashing. Things do not get better when that happens.
I fell for one girl who already had a boyfriend, and she had a bit of a thing for me as well and knew how I felt, but we never acted on it. I found out he was physically and verbally abusing her, so I was stuck between choosing the lesser of two evils: let her continue being hurt or try or steal her away and give her a potentially better relationship. I found the latter more palatable, and things did not end well for anyone involved. But I'd do it again. Another girl I liked was also taken, but her boyfriend's a nice guy, so, while it pains me to see her with him, that's just my bad luck. Bottom line: depends on the situation.
i think i'm going to end it. i fucking love her, and we have had a great four years together (even with ups and downs) but i think this cross-roads has to be where it needs to end. if she really cared about me and loved me the way that i love her, she wouldn't have a)done it in the first place b)continued doing behind my back c)wouldn't insist on continuing to do it and to be honest, it's too early on in life for either of us to have to give up stuff we want to do so that we can be with someone. Fs sake, we're both in our very early twenties... i would marry her tomorrow, no joke (if it weren't for this situation), but i know that she doesn't feel the way i do about it. she's young and wants to do things and be free. and i just feel like i'm pinning her down with this. but damn. for four years we have shared everything. hardships, trials, good times, great times, trips, adventures, firsts, dates, deaths, marriages...we've been through so much and i love her so much that i don't want to just throw it away. i don't regret any of it, except the few times that i did her wrong. i (until a week ago) wake up every morning happy, knowing that i have her in my life, knowing that i love someone with all of my heart and that she loves me back; and that we'd do anything for each other i don't know what the hell my life is going to be like without her. she completes me, and makes me feel like a whole person, and like i said, there's (almost) nothing i won't do for her. i live to make her happy, because it makes me happy. my whole heart and body warms up when i make her smile. and i'm going to miserable without her. but the question is, will i be more miserable or less miserable than if i stay with her?
If you break up with her will you continue to post this maudlin bullshit? For Christ's sake,if she "completes you" then marry her and get a job writing Hallmark cards. If you feel that someone smoking a bowl means they don't really love their boyfriend,then dump her. What do you want any of us to say?
Friend, this is the biggest revelation of your life, so far. And a damn important one. There is much that await you. Good luck to you sir.
If she's capable of lying to him about something for five months, that's a hell of a revelation. Combine that with a lot of talk of "freedom" and I'd have second thoughts about her too.
I'm not saying he shouldn't dump her,and I'm not really saying he should,either. I'm just saying he'd be better off if he just picked one of the two and quit the livejournal bullshit. LMAO.
Actually, more the question is - will you actually go through with it? There's no way you're going to know if you'll be more or less miserable unless you actually do it. Action is the important thing here, not the words, tho the words are a beginning. Going through stuff like this part of maturing. You're not the first (everyone who's ever gotten a divorce is WAY ahead of you) and you definitely won't be the last. Its survivable. --Moony
